idk what to do anymore

[raven1]

People say my doubting God exists is just o.c.d, how do I know that? There are people on the other boards that doubt God's existance too. People say God knows what is in my heart, I know too doubt. People say all you have to do is acknowledge Jesus died for my sins. Well I did fifteen years ago but now I doubt God exists, God doesnt exist without Jesus right, I mean vice versa. I think that I am very close to losing my mind. I cannot afford to go to the hospital agin my marriage is resting on it. I really need help. I know I post alot but please help me. I do not thinbk God likes doubt if it is not from o.c.d.

 

[SoldierOfSoul]

God is trustworthy Raven, sometimes my mind tries to get me to doubt this fact, but when this happens I force myself to remember that this God died for me. Jesus proves not only that God exists but that He loves us all. Look at the Apostles of the Lord, almost all suffered horrible deaths but still proclaimed what they believed to their persecutors until their dying breath.

I think that the Apostles are some of the greatest proofs to God's existence and especially the existence of Jesus Christ and of the fact that He is Saviour of the world. People will die for what they believe to be true, but nobody would die for something they knew to be a lie. The Apostles, including Paul, died believing that Jesus is God and that He loves man. Many of those Apostles knew Jesus when He was on the earth, they testify of Him in the bible and they died to prove their allegiance, we would do well to listen to their witness and remember as we do that it is not the testimony of man but of God and His Son Jesus Christ.

"If we receive the witness of men, the witness of God is greater: for this is the witness of God which he hath testified of his Son. Anyone who believes in the Son of God has this testimony in his heart. Anyone who does not believe God has made him out to be a liar, because he has not believed the testimony God has given about his Son." (1 John 5:9,10)

 

[raven1]

I doubt the bible as well. All of it. You must not have bad OCD if you can get it out of your head so easy.

 

[SoldierOfSoul]

I doubt the bible as well. All of it. You must not have bad OCD if you can get it out of your head so easy.

I guess not. I have my own obsessions, the existence of God is not one of them.

 

[OCD=Owie]

Your description of OCD doubts sounds very similar to what I have experienced in the past. I had doubts about the existance of God, and about the Bible to the point where it was driving me mad.

All my doubts and questioning eventually led to fears that I had either given up my belief in God, and thus was no longer saved. It was probably the worst OCD symptom I have ever had. I spent all day trying to think of ways to prove that God exists and that the Bible is His word, but I never got more than a few minutes of relief from whatever "proof" I came up with.

It's brutal, brutal stuff. All my doubting made me feel like some kind of horrible person. Someone who would ashame my Christian friends and family if they knew how I thought.

I suffered pretty badly about this for a couple years before I found out what "OCD" was. A couple years after that, by learning about methods to help deal with OCD, and by getting out more and spending time with Christian friends, I managed to get to a point where my doubting symptoms were bearable.I came to find that the doubts I had, the ones I was so afraid were completely genuine, were really part doubting, AND part OCD. I feared so strongly that God might not be real, that the Bible might not be trustworthy, and that I might be some kind of horrible athiest. However, in reality, these fears were revving my mind up so much that I wasn't thinking logically. I was thinking with fear, rather than logic, which is typically how OCD works. When I was in that kind of a state, I really wasn't even able to tell what my own thoughts meant, or where they came from.

I know how it feels when people tell you your doubts are just OCD. How do they know? It's not their mind! Besides, what if I really DON'T technically believe in God?

The answer, of course, is that they can't. But when you know you have OCD, and can get very afraid of trivial things, then I don't think you yourself really can tell either.Doubting the existance of God is a normal thing for everyone. Pastors do it, and good Christian people that you know have probably done it. Even if your doubts are completely genuine, which I suspect your OCD is playing a bigger role than you think, then you're only human.

If you have truly and fully turned to athiesm or agnosticism, then you probably wouldn't be having such intense fears that you have become and athiest or agnostic, right?

 

[raven1]

Thank you for your relpy. Do you still doubt? How long did you doubt. You had regular doubts and OCD doubts aren't non OCD doubts bad? My fear is those won't be forgiven. I don't know what to do. My doubts started right after I thought I was going to die. I can't prove the afterlife exists therefore god exists or the bible is real that is how my thoughts have been for a year. I had someone tell me because of this thinking I was never saved just thought I was.

 

[OCD=Owie]

Well whoever told you that you're not saved because you doubted is wrong. Doubting is more common than you think. There are some good Christian people that sometimes wonder whether what they believe is really true. Remember, all of your sins were forgiven when you accepted Christ. That includes any of your perceived doubting sins.

And to answer your question, no, it's not wrong to have non-OCD doubts. We're human, and we question things. There is a distinct difference from doubting and giving up your belief in God.As for how long I doubted, I had intense doubts for about four years. After that, I started to figure it out some more, and it began to get better over time. I still have doubts that bug me from time to time, but it's a lot more bearable. I know when I need to just stop thinking so intensely about it.

Also, you asked, "You had regular doubts and OCD doubts aren't non OCD doubts bad?" The way you worded this question caught my attention. I think you're viewing these as two totally and completely separate things. You think there's OCD doubts and non-OCD doubts. I don't think that there is a complete separation between the two. Many people have non-OCD doubts. They question whether what they believe is really true, which is normal. When you have OCD though, any real doubts that you might have are multiplied, sometimes greatly.

If you have OCD, then trying to make such complete distinctions in your mind can have negative effects. For instance, by continuing to view OCD and non-OCD doubts as two separate things with one being forgivable and one not being forgivable, then you're going to be consumed with questions at any given time about whether you're having OCD doubts or non-OCD doubts.

I can tell you from experience that thinking like that is a losing battle. We as humans, and OCD humans at that, cannot completely understand our own thoughts like that. It's just impossible. I truly believe that you're over-analyzing you're thoughts, because that's exactly what I did when it was really bad for me.

Hang in there though! This can get better. I know that it did for me.

 

[raven1]

I heard fleeting doubts where experienced by believers but not long periods of doub.

 

[tranz4md]

I doubt the bible as well. All of it. You must not have bad OCD if you can get it out of your head so easy.

Have you heard what God's word says about Sodom and Gomorrah and how He destroyed it. If you want proof of God's word get on the internet and search remnants of Sodom and Gomorrah. Wow!
But even this may not change your mind because if a person chooses to doubt they're gonna doubt. Most of that comes from being to analytical and thinking that everything has to have a reason or scientific explanation. There is plenty of proof for both the existence of God (scientifically) and the truth of His Living Word.

Also, if God's word were not His inerrant and infallible words given by the Holy Spirit's leading (God is three-in-one, Father, Son and Holy Spirit) through the prophets who wrote them please explain to me how it could be even remotely possible for His Word to have the same messages based on the same themes throughout its entirety when these people lived in very distant places and at different times in life with no cell phones and emails to inform each other of what they were going to say in each specific book.

 

[tranz4md]

I doubt the bible as well. All of it. You must not have bad OCD if you can get it out of your head so easy.

Watch this:

The Final Prophecies Documentary

 

[OCD=Owie]

tranz4md, I believe the primary problem here is that raven1 has OCD, a mental disorder that causes people to have irrational fears. She mentioned that she spends all day reading Christian apologetics and people's personal experiences with doubts. This fits the profile of OCD. Telling her to search for more evidence of the trustworthiness of the Bible will probably not help.

I heard fleeting doubts where experienced by believers but not long periods of doub.

I think you're overanalyzing this, raven1. You have OCD, which causes you to fear any remote possibility your mind can think of. Remember, the french called it "doubting disease" for good reason.

Also, I personally had long-term doubts. My doubts that I had lasted for about four years. Doubts of all sorts came into my head in that period of time, like the ones you're having now. But, for me, I gradually began to learn how to recognize when it was my OCD that was causing my fears. Which, really, my OCD had a part in probably 99% of my doubts and fears.

It feels very, very real, I know. But at some point you need to acknowledge that your OCD plays a part in all of this. That's not easy to do, but it greatly helps if you can get that into your head over time.

 

[raven1]

I never chose to doubt. I don't choose it. It just happened on day after fifteen years of doubting. My fear is of no afterlife that is what causes doubt because if doesn't exist neither does the other.

 

[SharonL]

Go here and read some of the stories - you will find one that you will know God is talking to you - just keep reading through the site - they are Holy Spirit inspired poems and stories given to people who have problems and doubts and God hit it on the head every time - you will be Blessed and you will feel the presence of the Lord. Diamonds from Heaven

 

[OCD=Owie]

I never wanted to "doubt" either. I just wanted it all to go away, and I wanted to be able to have complete faith in God in peace. What I found though was that OCD was such a large component of my fears and doubts.

Now I understand that a lot of my "doubts" were initially just fleeting thoughts or feelings. I then thought, "oh no, I doubted God's existence. Did I stop believing in God?" This led to me thoroughly analyzing that little thought, trying to determine whether I really "stopped believing in God."

Then, of course there were the times that I had real doubts, but they were greatly magnified by my OCD. I would have a doubt, "What if God really isn't real?" Then I would feel awful, like I was giving up on God. So I thoroughly considered all sorts of different "proofs" to try and convince myself that God was real. Then, I hoped, I would be able to be doubt-free, and in peace.

Unfortunately, my excessive worrying and obsessive compulsive processes only made me more and more afraid, and only made the doubts stronger, if anything.

I would suggest that you put less of your focus looking at Christian apologetics and the personal experiences of other people who doubted. I know that I, even today, can't get too much into Christian apologetics because it makes all my doubting symptoms start to come back.

Instead, I think you should try to stop feeding the OCD process. For me, personally, (and remember, different things work with different people) I began to give myself a bit of leeway with my doubts. If a doubt came up that didn't seem too bad, I would just treat it like it wasn't a big deal, and just let the so-called "doubt" float around in my mind while I went about my life. After awhile, the doubting started to go away.

Recovering from this OCD symptom revolves around treating this as an OCD symptom, rather than as some kind of horrible doubting problem on your part. Now, you might think "but what if even a small amount of my doubts are genuine, and not OCD related?" But there really isn't a way for you to know that for sure. Your mind is in overdrive, and it can be hard to think rationally. You need to work to take care of your OCD, so that whatever doubts might be left you will be able to deal with logically. I believe, however, that if you can beat you're OCD, then most of these doubts and fears will go away. I know they did for me!