Identity healing?

[CShephard53]

Is anyone here familiar with the concept of 'not being or feeling like a real man', or healing male identity? If so, could you comment on what that can involve and how successful it is?

 

[irenemcg]

Okay I am a woman but I could be your mother and I have sons slightly older than you, so I'm coming in here. I will pray for you and I hope you realize that any feelings of confusion regarding sexual identity and /or feelings of inadequacy are not from God. That's not how God sees you, he can raise you up to be a strong man and warrior for him. Whatever you are feeling right now take it to the Lord and ask Him to help you, ask Him to direct your paths and see your true identity as a son of God.

 

[Elijah2]

Are you going down the path on "Promise Keeper" belief?

 

[Elijah2]

Is anyone here familiar with the concept of 'not being or feeling like a real man', or healing male identity?
Now, why would say this or even think it? Could you please share with this old man?
If so, could you comment on what that can involve and how successful it is?

 

[CShephard53]

Well, a professor at my college confronted me on it a bit, and I'm kind of doubting some of what he said, specifically the gender identity thing. Just because one can from time to time get temptations oriented towards the same gender doesn't necessarily mean I have gender identity issues, correct?

I'm doubting much of what my professor told me, mainly the 'you've got deep issues and can't minister effectively to others until they're fully dealt with' (like the 'gender identity' thing he mentioned), when where I'm at right now is what I'd consider 'mostly healed' except for learning what I missed as a kid- emotional and social boundaries, which I've been making a lot of progress in by ministering to others- working with kids, you have to learn and will learn how to relate to them and their parents better. I've learned tons as well as ministering to others. But my prof went so far as to say that I'm 'finding my identity in ministry'. My view is that one's identity should be found in honoring God in their personal way (not neglecting biblical commands of course). He says I need healing, and I'm not sure I do. Relearning what I missed and applying it appropriately, perhaps, but healing? I don't see the need to delve into my childhood yet again to try and fish out what hurt, I've pretty much already got the bulk of the main picture and don't hold things against any involved. If I've already forgiven and accepted it, what is there left to do?

Additionally, he stated that I am very smart but have the emotional and social intelligence of a 13 year old and even compared me to Ted Haggard to try to get me to see what could happen if I 'don't deal with it', using the idea of a ticking timebomb. Honestly, I was offended and was quite discouraged the rest of the day and vulnerable, like he put a spike right through my defenses against sin (I wasn't able to resist daily temptation as well as I could have). He spoke with me Friday morning, and I have thought and prayed about it ever since, and asked friends. They've pretty much told me that if I don't feel at all like he's right, then disregard it.

Thoughts?

PS:
Mods, feel free to move this to wherever you think it most helpful

 

[CShephard53]

In that light, I feel perfectly adequate, though I have much to learn, to minister to kids. I also know that I'm a guy. I mess with people physically like most guys my age do. I make jokes like most guys do, and some are fairly witty. I want to get married and have kids before I get much older (by 30, preferably!).

Do I sound like someone who needs any kind of healing?

 

[Elijah2]

Hi Jaws,

Well mate, what you have said is that you appear to be well-adjusted. It also appears that you love your ministry.

No for your professor, or is he your minister (that's were I am a bit lost): he stated that I am very smart but have the emotional and social intelligence of a 13 year old and even compared me to Ted Haggard

Now, I guess he has said this because you are working at that level of age. Who is Ted Haggard? I'm an Aussie.

Well, when we get to an identity check, we are either feel more comfortable with men, or we become infatuated with men.

So which are you?

Now if you had a terrible childhood, much of those ingrain attitudes from hurts, offences, resentfulness, and bitterness can be hidden deep down within the heart.

Do you at times shudder when something from the past comes to mind at times when you are not expecting it, and you shake your head to get rid of it?

 

[CShephard53]

Hi Jaws,

Well mate, what you have said is that you appear to be well-adjusted. It also appears that you love your ministry.

No for your professor, or is he your minister (that's were I am a bit lost): he stated that I am very smart but have the emotional and social intelligence of a 13 year old and even compared me to Ted Haggard

Now, I guess he has said this because you are working at that level of age. Who is Ted Haggard? I'm an Aussie.

Well, when we get to an identity check, we are either feel more comfortable with men, or we become infatuated with men.

So which are you?

Now if you had a terrible childhood, much of those ingrain attitudes from hurts, offences, resentfulness, and bitterness can be hidden deep down within the heart.

Do you at times shudder when something from the past comes to mind at times when you are not expecting it, and you shake your head to get rid of it?

I'll mull my past over occasionally, but I'm not afraid of it or thinking about it. I'd say I'm more comfortable with men.

 

[Elijah2]

I have a dear Christian friend, who sees me as his father, but his father was brutal. I'm not brutal, but because I remind him of his father in looks and age, he always feels uncomfortable with me. Also he rather talks to my wife than me. HE feels more comfortable with women.

 

[Timuchin]

Gender identity is partly instinct and partly role modeling. If it is missed in your youth, the world is a bad place to be. Homosex addicts will sense you are insecure and target you. They won't ask what your "orientation" is; they will just try to seduce you by offering to be role models. Bait & switch.

Our major sex instincts aren't fussy. The minor sex instincts (such as for the opposite gender and against incest & masturbation) can be overridden. It is our decision to choose the right and renounce the wrong. Any fleeting temptation must be met with "I could ___ , but I refuse. So God help me."

If you experimented with homosex as a youth, then this might be a temptation in any close, same-gender friendship you might develop. If it is a problem, contact Theophostic.com for a referral. Jesus can heal us and transform us.

One other problem is the gay community's use of magick homosexual love spells. These can affect Christians a well as unbelievers! If you have a sudden fascination or obsession in this direction, "I bind any unclean spirits on me, my family, my property and my job. Leave now, in Jesus' name. Amen."

 

[LogosRhema]

In that light, I feel perfectly adequate, though I have much to learn, to minister to kids. I also know that I'm a guy. I mess with people physically like most guys my age do. I make jokes like most guys do, and some are fairly witty. I want to get married and have kids before I get much older (by 30, preferably!).

Do I sound like someone who needs any kind of healing?

You know... Having Child like faith... Is beautiful, but I think intellectually you are smart. That prof sounds like he has some of his own "healing" to go through!