I thinking about ending everything

[Katie7725]

What's the point of this horrible world. Everything has gone to hell. I tried to join Christianity, I tried my hardest to not be bisexual, I prayed like 10 times a day. My mom kicked me out of the house when I came out and told her about my sexuality and tried to convince her that she needed jesus. I fought and screamed for hours with her and she threw me out. I hate this world so much it makes no sense at all. Why do people have to be this way. I wish my father was alive he loved me so much but God had to take him away from me, I hate god. He doesn't do anything, he's useless. I have skipped agnosticism and went straight to atheism. Maybe my mom will take me back if I stop trying to force this garbage down her throat. I hate life, nothing works like it should. Whats the point of existence when it would hurt much less to be dead. I am staying at my friends house but I cant stay long, I guess Ill have to beg my mom to take me back. I am so confused and tired of life right now I just want to overdose and end the shame and shallowness that this life is. I have tried my best to be something that I am not, and It not only failed but it screwed my life also.

 

[Countrygirl1976]

Things maybe alittle tough on you now but ending a life that has just started isn't the answer. I have thought of doing that once and it was just a thought and then the Lord told me that I didn't want to do that I had so much to live for and so do you. If you need someone to talk to I am here. I will pray for you and I know that you will find the right thing.

 

[AWorkInProgress]

What's the point of this horrible world. Everything has gone to hell. I tried to join Christianity, I tried my hardest to not be bisexual, I prayed like 10 times a day. My mom kicked me out of the house when I came out and told her about my sexuality and tried to convince her that she needed jesus. I fought and screamed for hours with her and she threw me out. I hate this world so much it makes no sense at all. Why do people have to be this way. I wish my father was alive he loved me so much but God had to take him away from me, I hate god. He doesn't do anything, he's useless. I have skipped agnosticism and went straight to atheism. Maybe my mom will take me back if I stop trying to force this garbage down her throat. I hate life, nothing works like it should. Whats the point of existence when it would hurt much less to be dead. I am staying at my friends house but I cant stay long, I guess Ill have to beg my mom to take me back. I am so confused and tired of life right now I just want to overdose and end the shame and shallowness that this life is. I have tried my best to be something that I am not, and It not only failed but it screwed my life also.

Katie,

I want you to take a moment and just breathe. Understand your situation, you gone thru a lot of garbage in a short period of time. Just find a friend or counsellor and let all this pain out.

Saddly we all fall short compared to the glory of God. We are human and imperfect beings, we make many mistakes in our lives. Once you understand this, you will understand that your mother made decissions based on emotions.

You hate God and try to push him away. Trying to take the easy way out of this existance, when really you have no clue if pain will end at death. God hears your pain and knows your tears. He is there with you, sometimes his blessings are not obvious or great in size. I found they are usually small blessings. Such as your friend is able to give you a place to stay.

Listen to your spirit, if you close your eyes and just meditate. You will find a voice within your mind, much like a whisper compared to the screams of your emotional pain. You will know when you found it, for it will tell you the truth. Life is not unbearible and you are not a bad person. Let this voice have control of your small thread of reason. It will go against all this emotional screaming, fighting to convince you that it is not as bad as it seems.

Talk with your friends parents and ask them for help. Also try your mom again, but avoid the screaming. If she has not changed her heart, then seek help from other love ones. They will aide you.

Your life is not over, it has only begun. Don't give up and give your pain to our God. He is listening and knows your heart.

 

[Katie7725]

i hope he answers, I love him and I want to have something good and true in my life

 

[madison1101]

Get to an emergency room and get evaluated for your suicidal ideations. I will gladly talk to you about your spiritual issues after you are evaluated for suicidal thoughts.

Your pain and confusion are valid and real. I need to tell you to make yourself safe from self-harm by getting to an ER and getting evaluated.

 

[Katie7725]

i will, i talked to a friend and I feel better, i want to live. I love you guys, im not going anywhere.

 

[AWorkInProgress]

i will, i talked to a friend and I feel better, i want to live. I love you guys, im not going anywhere.

Good first step Katie,

Take it easy for while and let your mind settle some. Still have ways to go, but we are here if you need us. Also don't be afraid to ask for help right now. Worst thing you can do is take this all on yourself. Don't let pride get in the way, but keep your head up and keep pushing forward.

 

[Johnnz]

What has life been like for you - safe, happy, secure or just the opposite?

John
NZ

 

[Katie7725]

just the oppisite: depressing, worryness, doubt

 

[Johnnz]

Then you will lack a deep sense of inner security, and will be prone to thinking negatively. You need someone to walk through some issues with you and help you rebuild your life.

But always remember you are loved by God whatever you are feeling, and he has welcomed you into His family as an infinitely precious and lovable person.

John
NZ

 

[Akathist]

Katie,

Here are some hotlines to call:
1800 394 HOPE (teen hope line) It says teens but it is for teens and young adults.

1 - 877 - 949 - HELP (Christian oriented hotline)

1 - 800 - 273 - TALK

 

[Katie7725]

Thank you

 

[Countrygirl1976]

We love you Katie, you stay strong and if you need to talk out your frustrations we are here to lend a ear and a shoulder. God Bless you!

 

[bbtt]

I am praying for you Katie.

 

[restore]

Don't feel that u r so alone and lose hope, u r not alone, girl.....
never give up hope and take one step a day, do not be too hard to yourself.
Join in some group of bisexual and seek help, it will help u.

 

[FirstLight]

You can't be something you aren't. Be true to yourself. There is one thing that God totally understands that humans cannot gauge. Your intent. If your intent is good, if your intent is to be a child of God, then God understands.

 

[onshye1]

god often gives us periods of trials and sufferings and hardships so that we can be better and stronger people! what do you do when you want to make a strong sword or blade? you throw it in the fire! you burn it in the furnace and then hammer it and then throw it in the fire again! But in the end, you have a beautiful sword of pure steel with all its impurities burnt out, and it is stronger than 100 normal blades.

god says he is exceedingly joyful in all our tribulations, not because of our suffering, but what it is producing in us. us humans are very shortsighted. we cannot see a foot beyond the future, but god can see all!

please continue to pray and let jesus guide you!

 

[Katie7725]

I'm seeing a therapist now, and I'm learning to enjoy the small things in life. He's teaching me whats important in life, the ones you love, and that I need to enjoy life everyday because it doesn't last forever. I am happier than ever and I am living life to the fullest. For god, I prayed to him for months and even joined a church. Nothing happened, I still felt lonely and depressed. So I am still agnostic but i am the happiest agnostic in the world.

 

[BelindaP]

I am so happy for you that you have found a path to happiness. Finding satisfaction in your life is very important. I do hope that you don't give up completely on God. It's very hard to draw near to Him when you're depressed. Now that you are feeling better, you might want to give it another go.
*Hugs to you*

 

[restore]

U r doing so great,
do not push yourself too hard.
relax and enjoy life.

being a christian is not by trying too hard. I tried v hard too ....never became a christian.
Then later God Himself made me to be a real one in strange way. we r not God, let God do. Praise Him.