Yes, so many tell me my problem is I look at myself when I should be looking at Jesus. It's so easy to look inwardly and see all the mistakes and garbage. But that's what He came for - to save us from ourselves. Have you checked out Rapture Forum?
I did. I signed up. Waiting for confirmation. And while He did come to save, He will only do so under certain conditions which I fear I am unable to meet.
I did. I signed up. Waiting for confirmation. And while He did come to save, He will only do so under certain conditions which I fear I am unable to meet.
Good - glad you signed up! Look for me - I have the same username as on here. Check out this article - it might be helpful...
How Can I Help Someone Who Thinks They Aren't Elect?
I think it's just for us! And everyone!
I've read this. And another one that says that God can choose to soften a heart that He has hardened. Those give me some comfort, but until we are certain we are 100% saved, we are under God's angry judgment. We must repent from the heart and believe the gospel. It's repentance that I worry about. Being sorry for my sin and striving not to do it anymore because it hurts God. A lot of things I read say "press the sinner to repent", not "pray for a new heart". Because we don't know if we have tomorrow and the longer we hold out the angrier God gets. We've already been angering Him for over 30 years. Dunno how much time we have left, if our clocks haven't already run out.
Something else came to mind. A verse that tripped me up is we'll find God when we seek Him with our whole heart. I never thought I was seeking with my whole heart. But a thought came to me today or yesterday that maybe we are seeking Him but we don't realize it. Our hearts are deceitful...God's ways are higher than our ways...walk by faith (trust), not by sight...I think we've been walking by sight, expecting to see what we want to see and God doesn't work the way we want Him to. We need to let go of what we're expecting or what we think. Open our hearts and minds to God. These are things people have been telling me but they're making more sense now. I feel like I'm learning - ever so slowly - but I really think we're heading in the right direction. We need to stick around here. Keep learning, keep asking questions, keep growing, keep trusting that God will show Himself to us one of these days. Someone told me maybe I should stop looking for what I'm expecting to find and just trust God (something along those lines) and then what I'm looking for will show up (something to that effect).
This passage has always stood out to me and I've always loved it...
Matthew 7:7
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.
It's so strange talking to you because I feel like I'm talking to myself. lol. Maybe don't think so much about yourself but look to Jesus and ask Him to help you. I know it doesn't seem sincere or anything but just try it. Do it anyway. Don't get in your own way. It's easy for me to say this to you, but at the same time I understand and know how difficult it is to actually heed.
Things keep coming to my mind. Another thing - a pastor of mine said something many months ago. He said God is operating on so many different levels - we just don't have a clue. That got me thinking that God is up to something here too. We don't get it. But I think we're going to look back on this and think, "Wow, I see what God was doing there." Just wait and see. Nothing is wasted.
I think this is kinda crazy too - I've been struggling so much with this these last few months that I'm doing something I don't normally do - talking online with strangers. lol. I've opened up to so many people from all over the place. There's a woman I talk to from Maryland, another woman I talk to from Illinois, a man from Texas, John from I don't know where - ha ha, you. And there's a love and care I'm experiencing that I would never have experienced had I not been going through the struggle I'm going through. That's really something.
I posted under Prayer Requests and Praise Reports and New Member Meet & GreetBTW, I am Chris0699 on Rapture Forums.
I can't offer much help, being in a similar position myself, but I can empathize, and, on the very remote off-chance that God will hear my prayers even though I'm at best a wicked heathen, I will pray that He might grant you the mercy, redemption and peace that you seek. I do think it is a good sign that you seek Him, that you acknowledge His existence and holiness and justice as well as your own sin and depravity.
I very much wish I could see Him more and me less. But He is not my Savior. He is my Judge, the One Who, because He is Holy and Just and Righteous, will soon cast me into the lake of fire.
The true Jesus, the one of the Bible, and not one that is a satanic invention, did not shed His blood for people to continue in sin and disobedience as filthy sinners. Looking to the Jesus of the Bible means doing what He said, as only those who repent, bring forth fruit meet for repentance, and follow Him faithfully to the end will be saved through His atonement and inherit His kingdom as His faithful subjects. He is Lord of lords and King of Kings; not an enabler of lawlessness who tells those who live wickedly that their sin is okay, and that they're not responsible to repent and be holy. Be not deceived by the serpent's influence which promises life to those with unbroken, impenitent hearts that won't submit to be ruled by God's Word and don't strive to actually be clean and holy through God's promises.
By the Word of God those who think they can come to Jesus as they are so they can stay as they are, and not in submission to Him welcoming His reign over them so that He might transform them into His image by His glorious power, are not going to have a happy judgment day! But if such choose to believe a lie that says otherwise and hold to it, they will reap what they sow as they attempt to mock God. But be not deceived; God is not mocked, so you will surely not get away with rebelling against His Righteous authority, even though you justify your rebellion with flowery language and pious sounding expressions.
Luke 9:23-25: "23 And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. 24 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it. 25 For what is a man advantaged, if he gain the whole world, and lose himself, or be cast away?"
Romans 2:4-11: "Or despisest thou the riches of his goodness and forbearance and longsuffering; not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance? 5 But after thy hardness and impenitent heart treasurest up unto thyself wrath against the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God; 6 Who will render to every man according to his deeds: 7 To them who by patient continuance in well doing seek for glory and honour and immortality, eternal life: 8 But unto them that are contentious, and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness, indignation and wrath, 9 Tribulation and anguish, upon every soul of man that doeth evil, of the Jew first, and also of the Gentile; 10 But glory, honour, and peace, to every man that worketh good, to the Jew first, and also to the Gentile: 11 For there is no respect of persons with God."
Romans 6:16: "16 Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness?"
Galatians 6:7-8: "7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. 8 For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting."
Revelation 22:12-15: "12 And, behold, I come quickly; and my reward is with me, to give every man according as his work shall be. 13 I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, the first and the last. 14 Blessed are they that do his commandments, that they may have right to the tree of life, and may enter in through the gates into the city. 15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie."
So, it's a choice to read His Word and strive to do our best to follow Him and His promises whether we "feel" saved or not? We choose to trust He will save us because He promises to and then we try our best to follow what He says? And we won't be perfect or always know for sure what to do, but we step out in faith and do our best? And when we mess up, we get back up, ask for forgiveness, and continue on trusting Him and trying our best to follow Him? And every day is a new day to choose to read His Word and follow it the best we know how? And following isn't so much, God told me to take this job or go here or go there, but more so loving Him and loving others in whatever situation we find ourselves?
Will you tell me about how He gives us a new heart, nature, desires? That is something that is confusing to me because some people who hear the Gospel seem to be immediately changed with new desires and everything. Not me. I suppose it's different for everyone. Do we trust we have a new nature and as we try our best to follow Him, He slowly changes our heart and desires? And we do what He says whether we feel like doing it or not? Whether we feel our hearts or natures have been changed or not? And again, we won't be perfect, but we keep striving? I just don't want to be trying to follow Him in my flesh, without the Holy Spirit, thinking I'm trying to earn my way or maintain something and find out i was never saved. I want to be sure i have the Holy Spirit and I'm following Him - loving Him and others - out of love and gratitude and not fear. I think that's my dilemma. I'm still so fearful and trying to follow all the rules and i don't feel i have the joy of the Lord, happily loving Him and others. I want to be sure I'm looking at Him and what He's done rather than looking at me and my performance, thinking i deserve something.
Hi Diana,
I’ve been meaning to write something here for a few months now, but something always stopped me, usually fear, of like saying things the wrong way or something like that. But I just decided tonight, “screw it, I’m just going say something rather than nothing”.
So, anyways, the reason for this message is that I’m in the EXACT same situation as you and as you said to Chris (Hi Chris - keen to connect with you as well if you’re interested mate), it feels like talking to yourself. I’m 100% sure that we are in the exact same state, saved or not, I don’t know, but definitely the same. Anyways, so one thing I wanted to ask is, how are you going now? As it has been about 4 months since you last posted here, and it seemed like towards the end of this whole little journey you were actually starting to have some hope and coming to some new realisations.
I hope you don’t feel any pressure, like if you’re not doing well, I don’t mind, I just want to hear from you, as I feel like we could help each other.
Anyways, I don’t really know what to say, but I’m just greatful to have found this thread you created. It’s not the only one I’ve read, I’ve actually read heaps, but not for a couple of years, but I came across your one back in October and there was just something about it that really struck a chord with me maybe more than most of the others I’ve read. I don’t know. Anyways, if you’re interested I can share my story/journey of how I ended up in this situation and what my experience is like, but I don’t want to just dump it on here now as you may not be interested or may not even be active on this forum anymore etc. But I just thought I’d reach out and see if maybe you still are, and hopefully we could connect.
Anyways, the more I write the more it sounds creepy. Lol. Honestly, I’m just a desperate soul seeking help, so sorry if I come across as creepy or something, it’s not my intention. Just genuinely want to connect and talk about our extremely identical predicament and see if there’s any hope for us.
Wow, I sound so prideful even writing this. Man, it really sucks not living for God. Wish I could, as He’s the only life there is. Anyways, it’s 3:33am (Australia time), so I’ll leave it there. Hoping to hear from you. And hoping that by some miracle you have overcome this terrible experience, but like I said, if you haven’t and are still struggling, that’s ok, I still would like to talk with you,
Sincerely,
Reegan (not my real name - too scared to reveal my true identity on here. Lol)
Hi Reegan,Hi Diana,
I’ve been meaning to write something here for a few months now, but something always stopped me, usually fear, of like saying things the wrong way or something like that. But I just decided tonight, “screw it, I’m just going say something rather than nothing”.
So, anyways, the reason for this message is that I’m in the EXACT same situation as you and as you said to Chris (Hi Chris - keen to connect with you as well if you’re interested mate), it feels like talking to yourself. I’m 100% sure that we are in the exact same state, saved or not, I don’t know, but definitely the same. Anyways, so one thing I wanted to ask is, how are you going now? As it has been about 4 months since you last posted here, and it seemed like towards the end of this whole little journey you were actually starting to have some hope and coming to some new realisations.
I hope you don’t feel any pressure, like if you’re not doing well, I don’t mind, I just want to hear from you, as I feel like we could help each other.
Anyways, I don’t really know what to say, but I’m just greatful to have found this thread you created. It’s not the only one I’ve read, I’ve actually read heaps, but not for a couple of years, but I came across your one back in October and there was just something about it that really struck a chord with me maybe more than most of the others I’ve read. I don’t know. Anyways, if you’re interested I can share my story/journey of how I ended up in this situation and what my experience is like, but I don’t want to just dump it on here now as you may not be interested or may not even be active on this forum anymore etc. But I just thought I’d reach out and see if maybe you still are, and hopefully we could connect.
Anyways, the more I write the more it sounds creepy. Lol. Honestly, I’m just a desperate soul seeking help, so sorry if I come across as creepy or something, it’s not my intention. Just genuinely want to connect and talk about our extremely identical predicament and see if there’s any hope for us.
Wow, I sound so prideful even writing this. Man, it really sucks not living for God. Wish I could, as He’s the only life there is. Anyways, it’s 3:33am (Australia time), so I’ll leave it there. Hoping to hear from you. And hoping that by some miracle you have overcome this terrible experience, but like I said, if you haven’t and are still struggling, that’s ok, I still would like to talk with you,
Sincerely,
Reegan (not my real name - too scared to reveal my true identity on here. Lol)
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