- Feb 19, 2017
- 610
- 1,222
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Female
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Single
- Politics
- US-Republican
So, uhh... recently, I've been on a bit of a journalling spree. It started out innocently enough. I had basically finished using my other journal, which I had begun using in January of 2018, I believe, and so I decided it was time to get a new journal. I went to the bookstore in town and got myself a pretty new journal and just started using it. I began using this journal at the very end of March and, umm... basically, I'm literally halfway done with using it, and we're not even at the end of April yet.
I really shouldn't be that surprised that it's gotten filled up so quickly, and yet I am. With previous journals, it took me much longer to fill them up because I had to summon the energy to write out long essay-format entries. I never went back to those entries either because it put a strain on my eyes to read all of those words. To put it in another way, those entries in my previous journals had a sort of monotone feel to them. This journal is much different, however. Towards the end of my previous journal, I started to make collages in my journal using stickers and things that I cut out and taped into the journal. I also began to draw more and write lists.
These activities were a little more mild in my previous journal, but this time around, it's become somewhat of an "addiction". I make entries in my journal practically every single day, usually using two to three pages per day, and a majority of the pages consist of my drawings or lists that I have written. And, not that anyone asked, but the drawings and lists seem to be pertaining a lot to my interests right now, including how to be more ladylike or fashionable, controversial social or political opinions that I hold, things about Catholicism, my aspirations for the future, and things like that. It's really fun letting all of these things out in my journal, and it's incredibly cathartic as well. Many of the things I put in my journal I would not readily tell others for fear of being ostracized for not having "politically correct" opinions or thoughts. So, I guess it gives me great comfort to have a private place to just let all of my innermost thoughts and feelings out.
And, you know, I think the theme of this particular journal is "growth". I say that because, in looking at the entire journal, the goals and beliefs displayed on each page directly contradict what I used to stand for prior to the beginning of this year. And, with every entry, it seems that I change a bit more and more. It's astounding, and honestly, I am ever so thankful for the growth as well. Every time another opinion of mine changes, it feels like for the first time in forever, another part of me has been freed. Freed from what, exactly? I'm not sure... but it feels as though I'm letting go of the restraints that have been holding me back for years. Suddenly, I am more outgoing and assertive, and I think the change in opinions and return to goals I had within my youth has helped with that somehow. I believe I said this before, but it really does feel like I am coming home to myself and am once again becoming the person that I was always meant to be.
...You know, I take the title back. I don't think I have a problem at all. I think I'm doing pretty great when it comes to this journalling business. It may be a little bit expensive, however, seeing as I'll likely be buying many more journals to use in the near future, lol.
I really shouldn't be that surprised that it's gotten filled up so quickly, and yet I am. With previous journals, it took me much longer to fill them up because I had to summon the energy to write out long essay-format entries. I never went back to those entries either because it put a strain on my eyes to read all of those words. To put it in another way, those entries in my previous journals had a sort of monotone feel to them. This journal is much different, however. Towards the end of my previous journal, I started to make collages in my journal using stickers and things that I cut out and taped into the journal. I also began to draw more and write lists.
These activities were a little more mild in my previous journal, but this time around, it's become somewhat of an "addiction". I make entries in my journal practically every single day, usually using two to three pages per day, and a majority of the pages consist of my drawings or lists that I have written. And, not that anyone asked, but the drawings and lists seem to be pertaining a lot to my interests right now, including how to be more ladylike or fashionable, controversial social or political opinions that I hold, things about Catholicism, my aspirations for the future, and things like that. It's really fun letting all of these things out in my journal, and it's incredibly cathartic as well. Many of the things I put in my journal I would not readily tell others for fear of being ostracized for not having "politically correct" opinions or thoughts. So, I guess it gives me great comfort to have a private place to just let all of my innermost thoughts and feelings out.
And, you know, I think the theme of this particular journal is "growth". I say that because, in looking at the entire journal, the goals and beliefs displayed on each page directly contradict what I used to stand for prior to the beginning of this year. And, with every entry, it seems that I change a bit more and more. It's astounding, and honestly, I am ever so thankful for the growth as well. Every time another opinion of mine changes, it feels like for the first time in forever, another part of me has been freed. Freed from what, exactly? I'm not sure... but it feels as though I'm letting go of the restraints that have been holding me back for years. Suddenly, I am more outgoing and assertive, and I think the change in opinions and return to goals I had within my youth has helped with that somehow. I believe I said this before, but it really does feel like I am coming home to myself and am once again becoming the person that I was always meant to be.
...You know, I take the title back. I don't think I have a problem at all. I think I'm doing pretty great when it comes to this journalling business. It may be a little bit expensive, however, seeing as I'll likely be buying many more journals to use in the near future, lol.
