I shouldn't feel so bad, but...

[amberzak]

I don't know, what to do. There is a guy I work with, and he must have misinturpreted my kindness as something else, because he did some stuff to me that, well, not to go into too much detail, it was sexual harrasment. This happened out of work, though it was during his break.

Well, I asked my manager not to put me on the same area as him. And today I was put on an with him. I got a little histeric and my manager moved him. But she decided that I should take the first step to making things better, or taking it further.

She asked me if I wanted to first, then let me tell him that if he touched me I would make a formal complaint. I did this in front of my manager. I had told him before, but he was touching me as I told him.

I also said that I didn't want to be friends with him any more, because I don't trust him.

He seemed really upset. Why do I care so much. After what he did to me, I should have every right to be upset and to request that he doesn't touch me. I don't like touch anyway at the best of times, being an Aspergers sufferer.

Why do I feel so guilty? Why do I feel so sorry for him. I am still angry with him, but I still think to myself that there has to be a reason - he never seemed that sort.

 

[seekingpurity047]

I don't know, what to do. There is a guy I work with, and he must have misinturpreted my kindness as something else, because he did some stuff to me that, well, not to go into too much detail, it was sexual harrasment. This happened out of work, though it was during his break.

Well, I asked my manager not to put me on the same area as him. And today I was put on an with him. I got a little histeric and my manager moved him. But she decided that I should take the first step to making things better, or taking it further.

She asked me if I wanted to first, then let me tell him that if he touched me I would make a formal complaint. I did this in front of my manager. I had told him before, but he was touching me as I told him.

I also said that I didn't want to be friends with him any more, because I don't trust him.

He seemed really upset. Why do I care so much. After what he did to me, I should have every right to be upset and to request that he doesn't touch me. I don't like touch anyway at the best of times, being an Aspergers sufferer.

Why do I feel so guilty? Why do I feel so sorry for him. I am still angry with him, but I still think to myself that there has to be a reason - he never seemed that sort.

Amberzak, if I may ask, how did you say it to him? Did you say it kindly and lovingly? I don't want to judge you or anything, and I'm sorry if you feel that way, I'm just asking because a lot of people (if not all people) get offended when people do things unlovingly. Nowadays, people get offended by the truth, people have become so super sensitive that it even drives me nuts.

If this is the case, you should say you are sorry for the way you said those things, and just hope that he forgives you, if not, just wipe the dust from your feet and leave it at that.

Have you forgiven him for what he did to you? That may be a factor as well. Pray to God before approaching him next, and perhaps God will help you when talking with him.

I hope these helped, though I fear they may not have.

To the glory of God,

Randy

 

[amberzak]

Amberzak, if I may ask, how did you say it to him? Did you say it kindly and lovingly? I don't want to judge you or anything, and I'm sorry if you feel that way, I'm just asking because a lot of people (if not all people) get offended when people do things unlovingly. Nowadays, people get offended by the truth, people have become so super sensitive that it even drives me nuts.

If this is the case, you should say you are sorry for the way you said those things, and just hope that he forgives you, if not, just wipe the dust from your feet and leave it at that.

Have you forgiven him for what he did to you? That may be a factor as well. Pray to God before approaching him next, and perhaps God will help you when talking with him.

I hope these helped, though I fear they may not have.

To the glory of God,

Randy

Thanks for youe reponse.

I told him as kindly as I could - I hope.

I even told him that it was my own problem, because in part it is - I do not like to be touched by anyone. And as for the friendship thing, I said that I think we just need to distance our personal lives from our professional lives for a bit. I never said our friendship was gone indefinately. Do you think that was kind enough? I did say that I would still talk to him in a professional manner.

As for what happened. I want to think that it un uncharacteristic act, because he does seem like a very nice guy. I started to talk to him because everyone else at work were being horrible to him. I don't like people being horrible to others.

I think that we doesn't know how to act around people. I think that is all it is. Though he was very inapropriate, and even if we were to be friends again, I am not sure I would feel comfortable alone with him.

 

[Mskedi]

Would it be too much to ask what exactly he did? Not knowing makes it hard to say whether or not you overreacted.

In the meantime, I hope you are able to act professionally and cordially around each other.

 

[TheDerek]

From the info I know, you certianly had a right to do what you did.

However, forgivness is the key. We need to forgive those who offend and hurt us, as hard as it might be.

 

[cassyrode]

wow, sounds like your in quite the stitch. Idunno when i get in a situation like that,... sounds childish. But I run away. " Unplug the phone and disapear for a while" Or literally run away to a new place. idunno... let me now how it turns out... and remember...

Ive heard the crying of your heart. I have seen the searching of your soul. I know how deeply you have desired the truth In pain you have cried out for it. When I see you I am overewhelmed with tears and wish to hold you close to me. Go ahead now, Ask me anything. Anything. I will speak to you if you listen. The words to the next song you hear, the information in the next article you read, The story line of the next movie you watch, The chance utterence of the next person you meet. Or the whisper of the next river. The next ocean. The next breeze that carresses your ear. All these devices are mine. I will come to you if you invite me. I will show you then that I have Always been there...

Always.

 

[Mind_Over_Matter]

I don't know, what to do. There is a guy I work with, and he must have misinturpreted my kindness as something else, because he did some stuff to me that, well, not to go into too much detail, it was sexual harrasment. This happened out of work, though it was during his break.

Well, I asked my manager not to put me on the same area as him. And today I was put on an with him. I got a little histeric and my manager moved him. But she decided that I should take the first step to making things better, or taking it further.

She asked me if I wanted to first, then let me tell him that if he touched me I would make a formal complaint. I did this in front of my manager. I had told him before, but he was touching me as I told him.

I also said that I didn't want to be friends with him any more, because I don't trust him.

He seemed really upset. Why do I care so much. After what he did to me, I should have every right to be upset and to request that he doesn't touch me. I don't like touch anyway at the best of times, being an Aspergers sufferer.

Why do I feel so guilty? Why do I feel so sorry for him. I am still angry with him, but I still think to myself that there has to be a reason - he never seemed that sort.

Regardless of how he touched you, you are well within your right to request that he doesn't touch you at all.

 

[Anti Existance]

This guy loves you and thats why he touched you. I think he might not know a lot about woman, and if you have aspergers, i think he 'totally' does NOT know how to deal with it. What you see as sexual harrasment was for him interpreted as 'she likes me and wants me to take it to a further level'

I think that in the future you need to give people clear signals of what you want and what you don't want. I personally don't like to be touched either. Important is that after that first incident , has he tried to touch you again?

If not , it might all just have been a misunderstanding, if not get a restraint order against him.

 

[Im-revived]

Emm, well firstly you have no reason to feel guilty, if like you say you do, then begin by praying that God will release you from this guilt.

Secondly I think you need to look at the forgiveness aspect of the incident as its building up more and more and you feel hurt. So again pray and forgive this person, however many times you need too to feel better.

Thirdly, situations like this can be brought on by satans tactics, so follow the following prayer.

Lord, you know how uncomfortable I feel with this situation, but I'm asking you to help me stand firm, away from thoughts satan is planting in my mind. I pray against and bind up all feelings of guilt I have, all unforgiveness I have, and ask Lord you will direct me rightly to my next move. Make it clear to me Lord what is your will for me and guide me accordingly. Amen

Im-revived

I don't know, what to do. There is a guy I work with, and he must have misinturpreted my kindness as something else, because he did some stuff to me that, well, not to go into too much detail, it was sexual harrasment. This happened out of work, though it was during his break.

Well, I asked my manager not to put me on the same area as him. And today I was put on an with him. I got a little histeric and my manager moved him. But she decided that I should take the first step to making things better, or taking it further.

She asked me if I wanted to first, then let me tell him that if he touched me I would make a formal complaint. I did this in front of my manager. I had told him before, but he was touching me as I told him.

I also said that I didn't want to be friends with him any more, because I don't trust him.

He seemed really upset. Why do I care so much. After what he did to me, I should have every right to be upset and to request that he doesn't touch me. I don't like touch anyway at the best of times, being an Aspergers sufferer.

Why do I feel so guilty? Why do I feel so sorry for him. I am still angry with him, but I still think to myself that there has to be a reason - he never seemed that sort.

 

[RicFlair]

you feel bad because you are a good person. sometimes good people feel bad even when we shouldnt

 

[RicFlair]

you feel bad because you are a good person. sometimes good people feel bad even when we shouldnt