Okay, so I haven't really had a chance to share this with anyone, and I really feel a pull to post my story here. I know its long, but please bear with me.
I used to be a Christian, and through thick and thin, my mother always tried to make sure that, even as a very young child, I would focus on God and not worry about the bad things happening in my life. Despite this, the things around me got to me and when I was 7, I started feeling severely depressed. When I was 11, I decided to accept Jesus, and I lived like that for awhile.
Then, around the age of 14 I drifted just about as far away from God as I could. I became a self injurer, I was extremely depressed, and I was so attracted to darkness that I was constantly indulging on everything evil and Satanic. I was a drinking a lot, and
I became very sexual and disrespecting of myself. I worried a lot of people, because I was very young, and I had always been such a good girl, and as I progressed into high school, things only got worse and worse.
A couple months ago, I was so low that I decided to kill myself, and fortunately someone stopped me. I went to a youth group with my friend, and I was taken to a youth rally with them. I had two days of feeling bitter and resentful as I watched others worshiping and I imagined that God didn't care enough for me to be with me. One of my friends noticed I was down and came over to hug me, and I ended up sobbing on her shoulder. Next thing I knew, a youth leader was with me, praying, and it was the most intense, emotional experience of my life. She met with me for several weeks after and I shared with her and a few other girls my story, and the helped me to get on the right track.
Currently, however, I am facing an ultimate low like I've never experienced before, and I know the devil is laughing as he pulls me further and further away, destroying everything I'm fixing up. Please pray for me, I want to do it right this time. I don't want to let God down again.
I used to be a Christian, and through thick and thin, my mother always tried to make sure that, even as a very young child, I would focus on God and not worry about the bad things happening in my life. Despite this, the things around me got to me and when I was 7, I started feeling severely depressed. When I was 11, I decided to accept Jesus, and I lived like that for awhile.
Then, around the age of 14 I drifted just about as far away from God as I could. I became a self injurer, I was extremely depressed, and I was so attracted to darkness that I was constantly indulging on everything evil and Satanic. I was a drinking a lot, and
I became very sexual and disrespecting of myself. I worried a lot of people, because I was very young, and I had always been such a good girl, and as I progressed into high school, things only got worse and worse.
A couple months ago, I was so low that I decided to kill myself, and fortunately someone stopped me. I went to a youth group with my friend, and I was taken to a youth rally with them. I had two days of feeling bitter and resentful as I watched others worshiping and I imagined that God didn't care enough for me to be with me. One of my friends noticed I was down and came over to hug me, and I ended up sobbing on her shoulder. Next thing I knew, a youth leader was with me, praying, and it was the most intense, emotional experience of my life. She met with me for several weeks after and I shared with her and a few other girls my story, and the helped me to get on the right track.
Currently, however, I am facing an ultimate low like I've never experienced before, and I know the devil is laughing as he pulls me further and further away, destroying everything I'm fixing up. Please pray for me, I want to do it right this time. I don't want to let God down again.