I really need support

[dakotariver]

I've been going over in my mind for a few weeks now on if I should go to confession, or if I should leave the Catholic Church. My last confession was a few months ago. Obviously, since then, I've committed mortal sin. I've done some really gross things. I know the priest has head everything, so I know I shouldn't be afraid to go to confession. I also worry that my last confession wasn't valid because, while I did admit to every sin I could remember, I wasn't completely and totally explicit explaining some sins. I had committed two sins in one, but I separated them into two instead of combining them. I also in general constantly worry that I'm committing sins and damning myself. I know this scrupulosity. It's driving me crazy. I never feel good enough for God.

I know I should speak with a priest about this. I just keep dealing with the same sins over and over. I'm so frustrated. I love the Catholic Church. I was baptized and confirmed in it. I was an altar server. The Catholic Church taught me my morals and values. It holds me even when I don't want it. I just don't know how much more I can take about worrying about the validity of my confession and the worry I have about damning myself to hell because I'm so sinful.

I would really appreciate any advice or stories others have.

 

[Wolseley]

Well, for one thing, you feel sorry for what you've done, which means you care about trying to serve God and do better. People are not sent to hell for being sorry and trying to do better; they are sent to hell for deliberately, openly, and defiantly choosing to reject God and His open gift of salvation.

Secondly, you're right: you can never be good enough for God. None of us can. And God knows this, which is why He sent us a Savior. Jesus took the punishment for every sin, past, present, and future; all we have to do is admit this and depend on Him to be saved. As an old priest I knew once said, "you have to try to live a good and holy life---and you don't even have to be successful; that's what confession is for."

Third, (very important!) you cannot commit a sin bad enough that God doesn't have the power to forgive. If that's what your psyche is telling you, it's because that's what Satan is whispering to your psyche. The devil's goal is cause you to despair in your salvation and give up, because you're just "too bad" for God to ever want you. Don't fall for it. God is stronger than Satan; He is stronger than your sins; He is stronger than your feelings, worries, guilt, concupiscence, and your frightened thoughts. Reject your worries about not being "good enough", and focus on faith and trust in God.

Finally, if you feel uncomfortable with confessing to your regular priest, make arrangements to go see another priest, maybe one that you don't even know, and get the whole works off your chest. I have driven an hour and a half to visit a priest in another parish for confession when I've done something I was particularly ashamed of. My pastor has said to us at Mass, "I know where you're at; I used to dodge my priest too. It doesn't matter who you go to, just as long as you go! If you don't feel comfortable coming to me, then go see Father (and here he named off several different priests around the deanery). Just as long as you go!"

I look at it this way, some might see driving an hour and a half to go to confession as extreme. But if you had a heart attack, would you drive an hour and a half to go see a doctor, if you had to? Of course you would. Well, the health of your soul is certainly just as important as the health of your body, wouldn't you say? So do what you have to do, and don't worry about stumbling and falling; we all do. If we didn't we wouldn't need a Savior.

 

[Michie]

Praying for your peace. My best advise is to discuss this with your priest. We all have different crosses to bear and I think sound advise from your priest is your best option.

 

[RileyG]

Go to confession. Trust in God’s love and mercy. Be at peace.

God bless

 

[Lady Bug]

I tend to ask whoever I'm confessing to if they need more details, and 9 times out of 10, I am told no. You could ask him if he needs more details, but the priests I've asked tend to tell me that I don't have to give more information than is necessary. See what happens.

Sometimes we commit the same sins over and over because we are in certain situations that make it easier to.

 

[joymercy]

God is stronger than Satan;

He is stronger than your sins; He is stronger than your feelings, worries, guilt, concupiscence, and your frightened thoughts.

Reject your worries about not being "good enough", and focus on faith and trust in God.

 

[WarriorAngel]

I've been going over in my mind for a few weeks now on if I should go to confession, or if I should leave the Catholic Church. My last confession was a few months ago. Obviously, since then, I've committed mortal sin. I've done some really gross things. I know the priest has head everything, so I know I shouldn't be afraid to go to confession. I also worry that my last confession wasn't valid because, while I did admit to every sin I could remember, I wasn't completely and totally explicit explaining some sins. I had committed two sins in one, but I separated them into two instead of combining them. I also in general constantly worry that I'm committing sins and damning myself. I know this scrupulosity. It's driving me crazy. I never feel good enough for God.

I know I should speak with a priest about this. I just keep dealing with the same sins over and over. I'm so frustrated. I love the Catholic Church. I was baptized and confirmed in it. I was an altar server. The Catholic Church taught me my morals and values. It holds me even when I don't want it. I just don't know how much more I can take about worrying about the validity of my confession and the worry I have about damning myself to hell because I'm so sinful.

I would really appreciate any advice or stories others have.

The enemy wants to remind us of the sin…
The Lord remembers it no more.
The Lord cuts the sin from the mind …
Via confession and the residual of it remains in a cycle of the mind

But good news is earnest prayer eliminates the cycle .

I use the st Gertrude prayer and add in intentions to remove heal protect from evil.
Ask for the Precious Blood of Jesus over yourself and put the battle in His hands.
Jesus I trust in You.

I do this each morning and the Rosary.

Also the prayer to st Michael and choirs of angels.

Prayers absolutely work.. remember that.

 

[RileyG]

I tend to ask whoever I'm confessing to if they need more details, and 9 times out of 10, I am told no. You could ask him if he needs more details, but the priests I've asked tend to tell me that I don't have to give more information than is necessary. See what happens.

Sometimes we commit the same sins over and over because we are in certain situations that make it easier to.

Yup. I’m with you on that one.

 

[Gnarwhal]

I've been going over in my mind for a few weeks now on if I should go to confession, or if I should leave the Catholic Church. My last confession was a few months ago. Obviously, since then, I've committed mortal sin. I've done some really gross things. I know the priest has head everything, so I know I shouldn't be afraid to go to confession. I also worry that my last confession wasn't valid because, while I did admit to every sin I could remember, I wasn't completely and totally explicit explaining some sins. I had committed two sins in one, but I separated them into two instead of combining them. I also in general constantly worry that I'm committing sins and damning myself. I know this scrupulosity. It's driving me crazy. I never feel good enough for God.

I know I should speak with a priest about this. I just keep dealing with the same sins over and over. I'm so frustrated. I love the Catholic Church. I was baptized and confirmed in it. I was an altar server. The Catholic Church taught me my morals and values. It holds me even when I don't want it. I just don't know how much more I can take about worrying about the validity of my confession and the worry I have about damning myself to hell because I'm so sinful.

I would really appreciate any advice or stories others have.

Well for one thing, I don't see anything in this post that's worth leaving the Church over. My confessions almost exclusively contain the same sins and just because I get fed up with myself doesn't mean I want to leave the barque of Peter. Cutting myself off from the Sacrament of Confession altogether would be even more miserable because I would never feel that freedom that comes from absolution.

Priests know what we're up against when it comes to the vices and levels of temptation that our culture puts in front of us, so it's not annoying or disappointing or frustrating to them when their flock come to them to confess repeat sins. Does that mean we should give up trying to fight it? No because that would essentially be presuming God's absolution with is itself a sin and our sins, especially my habitual sins of the flesh, put us in very real danger of hell as Our Lady revealed to the seers at Fatima. But if we fail, we cannot let our emotions get in the way of the Sacraments. We need to reach for them as soon as they're available, receive them, and gear up for a harder fight.

 

[Valletta]

I've been going over in my mind for a few weeks now on if I should go to confession, or if I should leave the Catholic Church. My last confession was a few months ago. Obviously, since then, I've committed mortal sin. I've done some really gross things. I know the priest has head everything, so I know I shouldn't be afraid to go to confession. I also worry that my last confession wasn't valid because, while I did admit to every sin I could remember, I wasn't completely and totally explicit explaining some sins. I had committed two sins in one, but I separated them into two instead of combining them. I also in general constantly worry that I'm committing sins and damning myself. I know this scrupulosity. It's driving me crazy. I never feel good enough for God.

I know I should speak with a priest about this. I just keep dealing with the same sins over and over. I'm so frustrated. I love the Catholic Church. I was baptized and confirmed in it. I was an altar server. The Catholic Church taught me my morals and values. It holds me even when I don't want it. I just don't know how much more I can take about worrying about the validity of my confession and the worry I have about damning myself to hell because I'm so sinful.

I would really appreciate any advice or stories others have.

First, realize that God loves you, he will never let you lose your immortal soul, and desires that you go to mass and go to confession to keep receiving the graces he showers upon you, whether you think you do a good job of during confession or not. Satan would like us all to quit going to mass and confession. There is no requirement to explain your sins in any detail at all during confession, you can just go down the Ten Commandments and say I committed this sin this many times. If the priest wants more detail or has a question he will ask. And really the only reason they may occasionally ask is to help you in their response. Also I would definitely tell the priest what you posted here today. If he judges you have fallen into scrupulosity he can give you specific advice to follow. If you think it might take a while to explain your concerns you can make an appointment for confession.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

Remember that your sins are forgiven, but you must also know that they are forgiven,

God forgave David after his great sin and St Peter after he denied to Lord three times.
Christ forgave the good thief from the cross.

So, knowing these things, you should know that if you repent from the heart, you are forgiven.
You're not made perfect, but Christ understands you're struggles. Turn to him and don't worry
about belonging to the right religion, just follow his divine will.