I REALLY feel like crying....

[aflower4God]

I just humilated myself....

I feel like crying I am that embarassed. See here is what happened. In 7 + years I have not had a crush on a guy locally nor have I been in a relationship since then... cause I am an avoidant. Anyway, there was this pharmacist (where I get my anxiety and sleepy meds) that I thought was really cute. He was sweet and kind and had this real innocent look to him. Anyway, I have been stewing over my feelings for this man (whom is younger than I). I finally said that is it I am gonna take the "bull by the horn" and begged my best friend to call the pharmacy and talk to the pharmacy technicain. Here is how the conversation went:
"hi there ....", said my roommate
"hey how is it going" replyed the technicain.
"well I know that this is gonna sound odd, but you know my roommate whom comes to the pharmacy with me right?..."
"yeah", she replied
"well my roommate has this crush on the pharmacist 'john'...."
The pharmacy tech chucked and said..."ummmmmm, he is gonna be MAD cause he is gonna get married next year...."
my roommate who was perplexed by this replied "mad...ummmm she just thinks that he is cute, I never heard that responce before.... anyway please dont tell 'john' this then...."
"Okay, I wont dont worry..."
That was the end of that conversation.... As an avoidant I am switching pharamacies.... No way I am not gonna go back there for a VERY long while..... I am not even gonna go shopping there UNLESS the pharmacy is closed... I DONT want to see this guy.... MAN I dont want him mad at me for thinking he is attractive...and what must the staff think...WOW folks I tell ya this is WHY I AM SINGLE!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for listening! And God bless!!!

 

[MessianicJewishGuy]

I just humilated myself....

I feel like crying I am that embarassed. See here is what happened. In 7 + years I have not had a crush on a guy locally nor have I been in a relationship since then... cause I am an avoidant. Anyway, there was this pharmacist (where I get my anxiety and sleepy meds) that I thought was really cute. He was sweet and kind and had this real innocent look to him. Anyway, I have been stewing over my feelings for this man (whom is younger than I). I finally said that is it I am gonna take the "bull by the horn" and begged my best friend to call the pharmacy and talk to the pharmacy technicain. Here is how the conversation went:
"hi there ....", said my roommate
"hey how is it going" replyed the technicain.
"well I know that this is gonna sound odd, but you know my roommate whom comes to the pharmacy with me right?..."
"yeah", she replied
"well my roommate has this crush on the pharmacist 'john'...."
The pharmacy tech chucked and said..."ummmmmm, he is gonna be MAD cause he is gonna get married next year...."
my roommate who was perplexed by this replied "mad...ummmm she just thinks that he is cute, I never heard that responce before.... anyway please dont tell 'john' this then...."
"Okay, I wont dont worry..."
That was the end of that conversation.... As an avoidant I am switching pharamacies.... No way I am not gonna go back there for a VERY long while..... I am not even gonna go shopping there UNLESS the pharmacy is closed... I DONT want to see this guy.... MAN I dont want him mad at me for thinking he is attractive...and what must the staff think...WOW folks I tell ya this is WHY I AM SINGLE!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for listening! And God bless!!!

It is okay to think someone is attractive. Have you read Song Of Songs? Being avoidant is not good at all. You need to go and have fun. I recommend that you start a Singles Ministry or join one, read Song Of Solomon and all G-d to work with you. Also don't avoid anyone in the Singles Ministry so I can hear some happy letters from you.

 

[Taylor43]

Keeping you in my prayers. Big hugs. Let the tears flow it's ok to cry God knows and i hope he will comfort you. God will help you find a better man. Grief freely hun becuase God will provide for you. It may not make sence right now but God does not waste any of his creation including you. Keeping you in my prayers.
Hugs
Taylor

 

[Lehr]

You know here is a great few words to keep in mind, "Don't go looking for love, let love find you." So what if you havn't had a relationship in 7 years. I havn't been in a REAL relationship with a girl all my life until 2 months ago when i met this beautiful girl, she is my girlfriend and we love each other.

So i suggest you keep your chin held high and be patient.

 

[mrswebber]

Uch, I can so empathise with you. I was 39 when I got married. During my single years, I never seemed to be past making a fool of myself. It took me many years to learn by my mistakes too.

You did nothing wrong sweetheart. Hold your head up, and go to that pharmacy. You were giving him the opportunity to get to know someone special. It just so happens he wasn't available.
I'm sure he would be flattered, not angry.

 

[Silent Enigma]

Yeah, no big deal. Humans find other humans of the opposite sex attractive. Sun sets in the west.

 

[AWorkInProgress]

I just humilated myself....

I feel like crying I am that embarassed. See here is what happened. In 7 + years I have not had a crush on a guy locally nor have I been in a relationship since then... cause I am an avoidant. Anyway, there was this pharmacist (where I get my anxiety and sleepy meds) that I thought was really cute. He was sweet and kind and had this real innocent look to him. Anyway, I have been stewing over my feelings for this man (whom is younger than I). I finally said that is it I am gonna take the "bull by the horn" and begged my best friend to call the pharmacy and talk to the pharmacy technicain. Here is how the conversation went:
"hi there ....", said my roommate
"hey how is it going" replyed the technicain.
"well I know that this is gonna sound odd, but you know my roommate whom comes to the pharmacy with me right?..."
"yeah", she replied
"well my roommate has this crush on the pharmacist 'john'...."
The pharmacy tech chucked and said..."ummmmmm, he is gonna be MAD cause he is gonna get married next year...."
my roommate who was perplexed by this replied "mad...ummmm she just thinks that he is cute, I never heard that responce before.... anyway please dont tell 'john' this then...."
"Okay, I wont dont worry..."
That was the end of that conversation.... As an avoidant I am switching pharamacies.... No way I am not gonna go back there for a VERY long while..... I am not even gonna go shopping there UNLESS the pharmacy is closed... I DONT want to see this guy.... MAN I dont want him mad at me for thinking he is attractive...and what must the staff think...WOW folks I tell ya this is WHY I AM SINGLE!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for listening! And God bless!!!

lol being hard on yourself. Took some effort and conviencing. Think he take it as a compliment.

Sister, I like you try 3 different exercised. Maybe it can help you find out what caused the avoidance. Get to know who you are on the inside.

Morning pages, when you get up. Take whatever is on your mind and just place them on your own journal. Yes there be lot sorta depressing thoughts and good ones. It helps clear your mind of the thoughts. As well gives you a picture of your conicousness. As well can get clear understand of what you might have to do. Give it a shot!

Do Nothing!
Either play some simple relaxing music or none at all. Just sit on your bed all comfortible. Just do nothing, let window to your imagination open up. Let whatever comes to mind flow.

Lastly if your not already doing so. Go take simple walks in nature. Just you and the art created by God. Just take it in sorta speak. Like simple 30-45 min walk.

Nothing magical or supernatural. Just simple ways of getting in touch with inner self. I hope it works as greatly as it has me.

Take care sister!

 

[Meshavrischika]

why the pharmacy tech said he'd be mad is beyond me... I've never seen a man be anything but flattered to be found attractive, even if they are taken. It's not like you've been pestering him. He may not even know honey. Give yourself a break. I'm sure he'd be flattered, and would have told you he was engaged and that would have been it. No hard feelings. You're being WAY TOO HARD ON YOURSELF. I'm sure you're a lovely, intelligent person and unfortunately someone else found him first.

 

[aflower4God]

Hi there all!

Here is an update..i have not gone to the pharmacy since then... I am way too scared to..and my roommates therapist did NOT help the matter. She said that this guy is probally laughing about this all. My roommate says that he may be soooooooooo annoyed cause she use to call him (an any other avail pharmaist) to ask about ANY medical questions... SO I am wondering more and more if that is why the tech said that he would be mad????...
Thanks again for this encouraging words of support! God bless you all!

 

[.chrys.]

Hehehe. I know why the other pharmacist said, "Oh, he's gonna be mad!" It was more of a statement of, "Uh-oh! He's getting married next year! I'll bet he sure would have liked to have dated you FIRST!" Like, maybe he finally gave up on you--and took the other girl out instead?

For your own sanity's sake, go see him and ask him face to face! You can't hurt anything by asking.

Just my two cents.
~Witness

 

[aflower4God]

Check out my blog friends!
http://www.christianforums.com/t5752490-from-the-heart-of-an-avoidant.html

 

[Mipaji]

Facing rejection, in any form is no fun I'll grant you that but, you have nothing to be embarassed about. There's no rule that says you have to avoid something to feel secure because that avoidance, along with other avoidances just add up. They build themselves into this big scary avoidance demon and that's a calling card for the adversary. None of us like conflict or difficult confrontations. But if we don't learn to deal with them
they can rule us. We make mistakes...God helps us fix them. You can't trust yourself if you don't trust Him. As I learned how to "avoid being an avoidant" I found my life to be with a lot less stress. I learned how to disable the avoidant demon that was in me...then I deleted him.
What a blessed day that was. If you'd like to talk more feel free to contact me. It is His will that I am here to help my brothers and sisters. God Bless!!!