I need your opinions!

[anett]

Hi everyone,

We'll have a youth retreat this weekend and our theme will be: commitment in different aspects. On Saturday I got to do a talk show on boy-girl relationships , how to find the real ONE and what to do until he/she appears. Please tell me what do you think about it, or raise up queations about the theme. I need those opinion especially who are above 25 and still single. What do you beleive? What makes you to keep vaiting etc. Thanks a lot!

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

First question I have would be something to clarify why there is (if there is) the assumption that we're trying to find "the ONE".

I mean, right now it looks like God's telling me to stay single.

So, before the retreat tackles the issue of "how", maybe they should entertain the question of "if"

 

[Eagle_Wings]

That's a good point. I know for myself, I don't want to be single, but for whatever reason God just hasn't brought the right guy along my path. One thing I strongly believe in, something I did and I try to imprint on my youth, is that you need to sit down before the game and decide on the rules. Then determine within yourself that no matter what you are going to play by the rules! I wasn't allowed to date till I was 16, and then there were conditions...#1 being that they had to ask my dad's permission, (that wasn't my rule!). That could explain why I was never asked out! But seriously, I had determined before that time even came that I would not date anyone who wasn't a Christian or anyone who didn't share the same relationship with God that I do. You also need to decide how far you are willing to go....hold hands, kiss, etc. way before that time ever comes or else emotions are going to be going strong and you aren't in any condition to make those decisions at that time.

The thing that has helped me stay single, even though I really want a b/f would be knowing that I want a serious relationship. I don't want to play the "dating game," I didn't even want to play it in highschool. I'd watch all the garbage that my friends were going through and decide it wasn't worth it. When the right guy comes along I won't need to worry about all that stuff. Sure hope that made sense.

~Wings<><
Isaiah 40:31

 

[fishstix]

Hi everyone,

We'll have a youth retreat this weekend and our theme will be: commitment in different aspects. On Saturday I got to do a talk show on boy-girl relationships , how to find the real ONE and what to do until he/she appears. Please tell me what do you think about it, or raise up queations about the theme. I need those opinion especially who are above 25 and still single. What do you beleive? What makes you to keep vaiting etc. Thanks a lot!

I think it is important to make it clear that not everyone is meant to be married and so there may not be a "real ONE" for everybody. There is nothing wrong with choosing a lifetime of singleness and for some people it is actually preferable to remain single than to marry. The most important thing about any kind of relationship is to have God at the center and to progress in the direction and at the speed that God wants, not necessarily the direction and speed that we want.

There are some articles at this site that may give you ideas and material on the subject.

 

[JPPT1974]

Hi everyone,

We'll have a youth retreat this weekend and our theme will be: commitment in different aspects. On Saturday I got to do a talk show on boy-girl relationships , how to find the real ONE and what to do until he/she appears. Please tell me what do you think about it, or raise up queations about the theme. I need those opinion especially who are above 25 and still single. What do you beleive? What makes you to keep vaiting etc. Thanks a lot!

Well there are people that don't want to get involved in a relationship just yet. But also just because you are different genders doesn't mean you don't have to have a relationship. Just a friendship will do just fine.

 

[anett]

Hey guys,
Thanks for all your comments! I find it interesting to see the "I might stay single" idea. I think if you are ok like that, why not? But if you have a little desire to have a husband/wife, so a mate who is more than just a friend I think that you should have ONE prepaired for you.
I totally agree that other relationships are very important as well!
Thanks again!

 

[Ithilwyn]

Right after I graduated from college, I struggled a lot with the single thing. I've always known that I would someday get married and have a family of my own, just not right now. While I was in high school and college, it was easy to wait because I had so many other things to focus on. It wasn't until I started my career that I really began to question what God was doing. I wasn't satisfied waiting for His timing anymore.

The biggest danger for me, at that point, was that I started to put my life on hold. I felt like I couldn't plan anything too far in advance (I quit planning major vacations in the thought that I might have to plan a wedding instead), and I started to view my job as just something I did until.... Everything in my life started to come to a halt and to stagnate. It was at that point that God showed me that I needed to get rid of the mentality that I only have to survive being single until God brings that "One" along; instead, I need to live single unless I get married. That word "live" really stuck with me; I needed to just live my life, without planning my current life around a future mate. It doesn't mean that I've given up on getting married and resigned myself to a single life. God knows the desires of my heart and wants to fulfill them, but for now I'm going to live this present life He has given me to the fullest.

Not sure any of this is what you're looking for, but I'll end with one of my favorites quotes from Jim Elliot; "Wherever you are, be all there; live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God."

 

[Eagle_Wings]

Not sure any of this is what you're looking for, but I'll end with one of my favorites quotes from Jim Elliot; "Wherever you are, be all there; live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God."

I like that! I was doing the same thing, I felt like I was spinning my wheels and going no where fast, that being single was inconvenient, just a passing through stage. A phrase that really hit me was at our women's retreat last year the speaker talked about Productive Waiting and Joshua Harris mentions in his book, "I Kissed Dating Goodbye," that he grew up with the phrase "hustle while you wait." I've read other things also that pointed out that God has a purpose for me being single at this point in my life and it would be beneficial if i stopped just waiting to get through it.

 

[Fatolia]

On the other hand, I want to be single, but I keep on running into really awesome single Christian girls. The big struggle is building solid relationships with women without letting that sex tension getting in the way or spoiling something that could be fantastic.

Then, to really focus on your love relationship with Jesus.

 

[Tenken]

Being single for all my life, sometimes I wish I can know what it's like to be NOT single. Without being in a relationship, I cannot compare what I like or what's beneficial for being single. However, I trust that it's all in God's timing, and it's time to sit down, quiet down, and listen what God has to say about my relationship life.

 

[JPPT1974]

Well, it all depends on whether God wants you to have a relationship. But what if you go against him and date and/or have a relationship that he doesn't want you to have at all? Someone that is wrong for you? Think about that!