I need some serious advice

[d0c markus]

Please Read this - it will explain whats up.

JulLynn: Mark, i know you are there, i need your help
The Lords Envoy: with what?
JulLynn: i'm trying to get Jason to go to a theripist, i think it would do him good
The Lords Envoy: what kinda therapist and why?
JulLynn: mental, and b.c he needs it
JulLynn: since the beginig of last month he's done ex atleast 3 times, he's always complaing how unwanted he feels, and he's trying to find stronger ex...it's not good....he needs help Mark, you've done alot, but not enough
The Lords Envoy: ecstasy?
JulLynn: yes
The Lords Envoy: arrrggg
JulLynn: last thursday he was over my house with mike
The Lords Envoy: uh huh
JulLynn: they were trippin
JulLynn: it wasn't very stong, so Jason said he was gonna work on getting strongger ones
The Lords Envoy: both mike and jason? whered they get it
JulLynn: Tony
The Lords Envoy: dang it
JulLynn: i told him i am close to getting his family involved, and he didn't like that
The Lords Envoy: do me a favor - hold off on the family. That is certainly one option but it will be handled negativly by them and they will just deride him
The Lords Envoy: I know his folks
JulLynn: i know, i told him i was close, not that i would


Now, Jason is probably one of my best friends. Frankly i really outraged that he lied to me, and I am really saddened by whats now transpiring.

Jasom professes to be catholic but other than the title there is no "religion" there what so ever. He would be offended if i told him he was not a Christian because he truly thinks he is one. There however is just 0 evidence to show this. I've discussed it with him before.

How do i go about ministering to him, he will feel as if I am pestering him and not being his friend. Lately the past 6 months have been odd.

He bought a brand new mustang which he totaled. then he bought a 20k jeep which he doesnt have money for, he loves his alcohol, and really really wants to be liked for people. THink of the puppy dog syndrom.... I love him as he's been a great friend for a number of years now, but i am stuck - i dunno what to do.

 

[mesue]

I know this is going to sound way over simplified, but it really isn't.

Pray for your friend Jason. Nobody is beyond the reach of God.
Pray for yourself, for wisdom and grace in meeting Jason's need and leading him to the One True God who can heal him.

I'll be praying for you both as well.

 

[Cright]

wow.. your in a tough situation...

I wish I knew how to answer.. but I really don't... instead I just want to know I'm keeping you and your friends in my prayers!

God Bless,
Carina

 

[JVD]

There are times in our lives when we have to leave friendships behind. I don't think however that you should just walk away from this friend. Although your help may break the friendship.

There is something called intervention, and intervention hurts.

Tony needs to be turned in to the authorities. I would do it anonomously and let the cops figure out how to catch him. If you don't turn Tony in anonomously the cops will force Jason and Mike to trap him by holding charges over their heads.

My brother-in-law was into drugs for years and became a dealer. He went to jail 2X and the last time finally got straight with God (he was a "christian" too). He has been out now for more than 15 years and living right.

So, I suppose a good therapist is maybe called for (although I'm not big on them). Jason needs to be FORCED into help. That's where the intervention comes in and it may break your friendship until he straightens up. What kind of a real friend is he right now anyway? He needs your help...and that help will hurt.

I don't know the situation so take all my advice with a grain of salt and filter it through your knowledge of the situation.


Seems like this thread should be moved

 

[d0c markus]

There are times in our lives when we have to leave friendships behind. I don't think however that you should just walk away from this friend. Although your help may break the friendship.

There is something called intervention, and intervention hurts.

Tony needs to be turned in to the authorities. I would do it anonomously and let the cops figure out how to catch him. If you don't turn Tony in anonomously the cops will force Jason and Mike to trap him by holding charges over their heads.

My brother-in-law was into drugs for years and became a dealer. He went to jail 2X and the last time finally got straight with God (he was a "christian" too). He has been out now for more than 15 years and living right.

So, I suppose a good therapist is maybe called for (although I'm not big on them). Jason needs to be FORCED into help. That's where the intervention comes in and it may break your friendship until he straightens up. What kind of a real friend is he right now anyway? He needs your help...and that help will hurt.

I don't know the situation so take all my advice with a grain of salt and filter it through your knowledge of the situation.


Seems like this thread should be moved

I dont think it should be moved, i put it here cuz i wanted a response from my baptist brothers and sisters.

Its a good thing i'm connected with the local PD, maybe i can set something up. Now i know why this guy Tony is suddenly back involved with Jasons life.

I havent talked with him yet, i wanted to pray and get your advice.

Thanks guys

 

[BT]

How do i go about ministering to him, he will feel as if I am pestering him and not being his friend. Lately the past 6 months have been odd.

Hi dOc,

You must minister to him, in a non-pestering way. Which can be difficult but is not impossible. You must above all pray for him daily. Bring his name up with the Lord and pray for the Spirit to convict him. Sometimes I pray that the Lord will convict someone so much that they can't sleep, that they have to face what's going on (this happened to me once with a young lady from our church who took up drinking).

Ok so how do you minister to him in a non-pestering way? Now everyone who knows me knows that I am pretty set against "methods" of witness, but that is because some compromise the message to serve the method. Anway I won't go off on a tangent right now.

One method that is effective in these situations is what I call "conversation steering". This is effective in a lot of settings, but when you are dealing with a friend like yours I find it most useful.

What you want to do is just talk to him about "safe and neutral" things. How's the new Jeep? Did you see the ball game last night? etc. Get into a comfortable conversation. This allows you to get his guard down and help him relax (so he doesn't feel attacked). As conversations progress, natural conversations I mean, you'll find that they often hover around or get to some issue of moral significance. Like, "Hey did you hear about those guys in Iraq that killed those soldiers last night." or something to that effect. This is the tricky part, you have to be guided into the "pathway" conversation, like this example. Now that you are around a more moral issue you can start to ask the questions. "Man, what do you think God thinks about all that stuff over there?" Then sit back and listen. In ministry, listening is a mandatory skill.

Here is where we depart from the method and get into the message. In order to be effective here you must have Gospel knowledge. It is critical. You listen to him, till he's done and then following the natural flow of conversation you bring up the Gospel significance. I use this all the time with "the church is full of hypocrites"... I listen then say stuff like, "Would it surprise you to know that Jesus felt the exact same way?" then I relate some appropriate story that illustrates the point. With your friend you're really going to have to get polished up on the more moral application pieces of Scripture. Steer conversations in ways that you can apply things like:

Matthew 15:19 For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies:

Heart applicable Scriptures. These I recommend because from the sound of it (as limited as the information that I have is) it seems as if your friend is trying to compensate for a heart problem. A heart that is broken (if he's a Christian, broken because of his disobedience) or a heart that is empty (which is the state of all men outside of Christ).

You have to move your conversations past this point into Scriptures that show that there is forgiveness, a new life, a walk with God, sanctification (growth towards holiness), being seperate, being righteous. etc.

If you can steer conversations like this you should be able to get to the real problem.. his heart.

Hope that helps you out....

BT

 

[Jessica Lauren]

Well, BT took the words right out of my mouth.

 

[d0c markus]

After much thinking, prayer and discussion with a pastor & priest not to mention your guy's advice. I decided to take a more Somewhat distant approach.

I talked to him today. I told him "Jason" "I love ya, I'm not going to pester you like julia did. I cant force you to change your ways, or force you to help yourself But i have to tell you what your doing isnt pleasing in the sight of God. You said last night this was none of my buisness but since i know i wouldnt be a friend if I didnt tell you your taking your life down the wrong path."

I told him i know that i wouldnt want to be told what to do either but that people on the outside of a situation generally have a clearer handle on things. I told him if he was depressed I'd love to listen, anytime anywhere. That i care for his opinion, and himself as a person among a few other things i had to say.

It went well i think. At the end of the night he asked me to pray for him to recieve some guidance in his life. I would also encourage you to pray for him as you would pray for a family member tonight.

Its really frustrating to have the answers that you know if someone would just take your advice and turn to Christ completely it would solve all these problems. I trust in the Lord to handle these frustrations, no doubt everything works out to his glory.

Mark