I need help on this one

[mottec]

I was psycally, mentally and covertly and sometimes sexually abused by my father. I moved away from home to another country when I was 23. I found my own sexuality there and then went back. When I got back(I was FAR away from home), I was shocked. The greeting of my father was anger bordering hate, not a word of interest was spoken, all he did was terrorize my mother in front of me. All the spiritual well being I felt, which I had built through reading the bible and carefully making the right decisions went away instantly. I had started to get a bit weird from my stay abroad but emotinally I felt great and I wasnt lying to myself and felt that I was finally creating my own identity. What happened was that I felt my inner child(litteraly felt 5 years old again) smiling in the sight of my father who told me in my teens that girls would be laughing at me, knowing to himself that he cause me great harm by CSA. This came to an end when he called psyciatry and got me hospitalized, something hes done later one, basically every time I start to feel good about my own identity again. It isnt so much that, its that he wouldnt let me anywhere near his home after he called psyciatry, I wonder if families to mentally ill are generally this way, my brother certainly am not. Whats worse though is that since I got into psyciatry he seems to abuse this situation by touching me inapropriately like accidentaly bumping into me with his penis or holding my hand. My girl cousin whos 17 for some reason acted sexually a bit sexually towards him, which he responded by caressing my hand again. If I bring out the topic that whats hes doing is inapropriate hes simply calling the doctors, who dont believe me when i tell them i was abused. Simply the abuse continues into adulthood, and every time it happens i forget the nice girls thats interested in me and it makes me cry. I prayed to god that it may stop, but hes not the kind to regret, i saw him terrorize my mother year after year not being able to relate to her suffering, now I feelthat maybe im in her shoes, not having any chance to speak back. Its so frustrating since i sometimes blame my brother for not stopping it if only he could se what was going on. Some advice would be nice. I might add that this is now 7 years running, and really the life I had until 23 havent been the same:o

 

[Tomyris]

I was psycally, mentally and covertly and sometimes sexually abused by my father. I moved away from home to another country when I was 23. I found my own sexuality there and then went back. When I got back(I was FAR away from home), I was shocked. The greeting of my father was anger bordering hate, not a word of interest was spoken, all he did was terrorize my mother in front of me. All the spiritual well being I felt, which I had built through reading the bible and carefully making the right decisions went away instantly. I had started to get a bit weird from my stay abroad but emotinally I felt great and I wasnt lying to myself and felt that I was finally creating my own identity. What happened was that I felt my inner child(litteraly felt 5 years old again) smiling in the sight of my father who told me in my teens that girls would be laughing at me, knowing to himself that he cause me great harm by CSA. This came to an end when he called psyciatry and got me hospitalized, something hes done later one, basically every time I start to feel good about my own identity again. It isnt so much that, its that he wouldnt let me anywhere near his home after he called psyciatry, I wonder if families to mentally ill are generally this way, my brother certainly am not. Whats worse though is that since I got into psyciatry he seems to abuse this situation by touching me inapropriately like accidentaly bumping into me with his penis or holding my hand. My girl cousin whos 17 for some reason acted sexually a bit sexually towards him, which he responded by caressing my hand again. If I bring out the topic that whats hes doing is inapropriate hes simply calling the doctors, who dont believe me when i tell them i was abused. Simply the abuse continues into adulthood, and every time it happens i forget the nice girls thats interested in me and it makes me cry. I prayed to god that it may stop, but hes not the kind to regret, i saw him terrorize my mother year after year not being able to relate to her suffering, now I feelthat maybe im in her shoes, not having any chance to speak back. Its so frustrating since i sometimes blame my brother for not stopping it if only he could se what was going on. Some advice would be nice. I might add that this is now 7 years running, and really the life I had until 23 havent been the same:o

Hi!

I'm listening, although I think a guy would be more help to you here. I don't have much advice because I don't really understand the situation. One thing I really don't understand is that it sounds like the doctors are believing him over you? I don't understand that at all. And does he have power of attorney over you so that he can force you to be hospitalized? Did you ever go to the police or anyone over this? You might consider that. It sounds to me you also need to move away and not live under his roof if at all possible.

 

[raven1]

I am so sorry that happened to you. Have you told anyone? It was not your fault. You know this right.

 

[JesusIsTheSonOfGod]

I was psycally, mentally and covertly and sometimes sexually abused by my father. I moved away from home to another country when I was 23. I found my own sexuality there and then went back. When I got back(I was FAR away from home), I was shocked. The greeting of my father was anger bordering hate, not a word of interest was spoken, all he did was terrorize my mother in front of me. All the spiritual well being I felt, which I had built through reading the bible and carefully making the right decisions went away instantly. I had started to get a bit weird from my stay abroad but emotinally I felt great and I wasnt lying to myself and felt that I was finally creating my own identity. What happened was that I felt my inner child(litteraly felt 5 years old again) smiling in the sight of my father who told me in my teens that girls would be laughing at me, knowing to himself that he cause me great harm by CSA. This came to an end when he called psyciatry and got me hospitalized, something hes done later one, basically every time I start to feel good about my own identity again. It isnt so much that, its that he wouldnt let me anywhere near his home after he called psyciatry, I wonder if families to mentally ill are generally this way, my brother certainly am not. Whats worse though is that since I got into psyciatry he seems to abuse this situation by touching me inapropriately like accidentaly bumping into me with his penis or holding my hand. My girl cousin whos 17 for some reason acted sexually a bit sexually towards him, which he responded by caressing my hand again. If I bring out the topic that whats hes doing is inapropriate hes simply calling the doctors, who dont believe me when i tell them i was abused. Simply the abuse continues into adulthood, and every time it happens i forget the nice girls thats interested in me and it makes me cry. I prayed to god that it may stop, but hes not the kind to regret, i saw him terrorize my mother year after year not being able to relate to her suffering, now I feelthat maybe im in her shoes, not having any chance to speak back. Its so frustrating since i sometimes blame my brother for not stopping it if only he could se what was going on. Some advice would be nice. I might add that this is now 7 years running, and really the life I had until 23 havent been the same:o

Has he ever shared with you his past trauma, such as domestic abuse? I believe he suffered from that. For him to psychically, mentally, covertly, and sexually abused you means that he has experienced a lot of rejection and domestic abuse in his life. His way of expressing himself to you and to your mother is through aggression/compulsion. His behavior comes from his own past and inner-self that he's still battles with today, such as his past demons that keeps hunting him which he has no control of. Usually people who are emotionally and mentally insane cannot contain themselves, so they usually act out on their urges. This is how he can cope with his problems. That is why he acted the way he acted towards you. Everything that I'm saying about him has a lot to do with his past trauma that he has developed to learn as a young child. You need to know his background in order to understand him as a person.

In verse 2 Timothy 3:1-8, Paul says, "But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them.

They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over weak-willed women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires, always learning but never able to acknowledge the truth. Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so also these men oppose the truth—men of depraved minds, who, as far as the faith is concerned, are rejected."

That verse that I've presented to you is the truth to what we see today.
You have to acknowledge that there are many evil/wicked doers in this world who are looking to take advantage of people like yourself. This is why we need to stay heavily on God's word. Without God's guidance in your life, you will come across many stumbling blocks. You will fall and even fail at life if you are not careful. Never ignore your initial thought/feeling; always trust your first gut extinct.

The best advice that I can give you is to let it be. Have you ever told your father about God, Jesus Christ, and salvation before? Maybe you should. If he rejects the offer, than this should be your last and final resort in trying to help your father because there is no other way other than through Christ to God which your father can get true healing from. I will pray for you and your family.

By the way... What do you mean you found your own sexuality there?

 

[JesusIsTheSonOfGod]

@mottec

I have a question for you mottec. Are you aware that you have received the gift of Holy Spirit? If the answer is no, my other advice to you is to pray and ask God to send you the Holy Spirit.
You must receive the gift of the Holy Spirit, it's very important: (Luke 11:9-13, Acts 1:5, Matthew 3:11, Acts 11:15-16, Acts 19:1-7, Acts 2:38, John 16:13, Isaiah 11:2, John 14:17, John 14:26, John 7:37-39, 1 Corinthians 12:1-11, and Matthew 6:33).
When you witness the evidence of the Holy Spirit, you will witness/see the spirit of God descending upon you like a dove in which you should be able to feel the power of the Holy Spirit manifesting in you. Than you will be filled with the Holy Spirit.
If you have repented in the past and yet, not become aware that you have received the gift of the Holy Spirit, than you must keep searching/seeking/asking for it, and it will be known/giving to you (Luke 11:9-13).

The Holy Spirit will be your shelter, your comforter, your counselor, and your teacher. God will protect you from that guy through the power of the Holy Spirit. That man will no longer bother you anymore. Be-careful that you do not fall away and follow false Gods (such as graven images/carved idols/sacred stones) and false teachings. Make sure you continue to read your bible and to stay free from sin by obeying/keeping God's commandments.