Hi all
I am asking for a friend.
My friend married her husband 3 years ago. She married because there were people forcing her to be married and she was afraid of one of the friends of her father, who is a mafia member. His son wanted to marry her, so she got married quickly to a 'normal' man. He runs a family-owned restaurant. Just a year ago, she confided in me that she met her true love. I was shocked and reminded her that she is married. She told me that ever since she laid eyes on that boy a year ago she has been convinced that he is her 'Adam', she is his rib. She says that if there were two men and Eve married the wrong one she would still be Adam's rib regardless of who she married.
I know that in the eyes of the church, if my friend divorced her current husband they would still be married in God's eyes, but is this really realistic in this sinful world we live in? I was not happy with my friend but upon deep reflection I realized that she had no choice. She wanted to be single until she met the right one but she was frightened for her life. I know this doesn't seem fair to the man she married to escape the mafia, but this boy she loves so much, he loves her too, isn't it unfair to the boy she met too? What if he really is her Adam, it is not his fault that he wasn't at the right time and place for her. Even before she met this boy she knew that the man she married wasn't her true love, and she was unhappy almost everyday, we, her friends, we could all tell even though she never complained.
As her friend I care for her, and she has been unhappy and a changed person ever since her marriage to this man. Her personality has changed too, she used to be so intellectual and independent and ever since she married her current spouse she's just not the same. The man never abuses her, but he doesn't operate on the same wavelength, and my friend always feels misunderstood and sad despite trying her best to communicate. She has a son with her current husband, but everyday I see her she looks more and more miserable.
This new boy she met makes her feel seen, loved and understood. Even i have to admit, he's a dream come true for her compared to the man she married.
I know this doesn't look good, but I can't stand by and watch my friend turning into a subservient shell of herself this way, I used to tell her that the grass isn't always greener, but I've seen her becoming so unlike herself in her marriage, and with this boy she sparkles like the brightest star. It isn't her fault or the boy's or even the man's that she married who she did when she did, but she was forced to by circumstances, the other thing that would have happened, we don't want to think of or talk of. If God is love, ,wouldn't he understand and let her be with the one she loves? God didn't stop the mafia, why should He stop her from marrying her true love? The only one in the wrong here, imo is the mafia, not my friend not the boy's.
What do you think? Especially people who divorced and remarried, what is your take on this?
EDIT: her current husband is no saint either. He had a girlfriend of many years and even had children with her out of wedlock, my friend said he was going to propose to the mother of his children when he met her but married my friend instead when he found out that her father was wealthy.