I live in constant fear of blasphemy.

[christianfromoz]

For the last 2 years after the death of my brother i have experienced a return of O.C.D after controlling it for 7 years. I have a problem with disturbingly warped blasphemous thoughts that come into my brain constantly. It doesnt matter what i think i feel i am never safe. The blasphemies are so unspeakably evil that i cannot even mention them. The worst part of it is that these thoughts have been in my brain for so long that they seem to have become part of my thinking patterns. When i get angry i think blasphemous thoughts and a split second later relise and feel so shocked and ashamed. I often scream out and beat my chest. I also get compulsions to do things to such as kneel and say prayers in a certain way or for a certain amount of time. When this happens i get angry and think about blasphemy. The thoughts are not there a second before and leave just as quickly but i still cant convince myself if it is me thinking these thoughts or O.C.D. It seems that i simply associate some subjects with blasphemy now without O.C.Ds involvement. Can you help me and give me some advice? Am i going to hell? I love God, but im always having unforgiveable thoughts. If i do play some part in these thoughts and its not only O.C.D will God forgive me? Even while writing this i have had several blasphemous thoughts. Praised be to God's holy name!

 

[seajoy]

For the last 2 years after the death of my brother i have experienced a return of O.C.D after controlling it for 7 years. I have a problem with disturbingly warped blasphemous thoughts that come into my brain constantly. It doesnt matter what i think i feel i am never safe. The blasphemies are so unspeakably evil that i cannot even mention them. The worst part of it is that these thoughts have been in my brain for so long that they seem to have become part of my thinking patterns. When i get angry i think blasphemous thoughts and a split second later relise and feel so shocked and ashamed. I often scream out and beat my chest. I also get compulsions to do things to such as kneel and say prayers in a certain way or for a certain amount of time. When this happens i get angry and think about blasphemy. The thoughts are not there a second before and leave just as quickly but i still cant convince myself if it is me thinking these thoughts or O.C.D. It seems that i simply associate some subjects with blasphemy now without O.C.Ds involvement. Can you help me and give me some advice? Am i going to hell? I love God, but im always having unforgiveable thoughts. If i do play some part in these thoughts and its not only O.C.D will God forgive me? Even while writing this i have had several blasphemous thoughts. Praised be to God's holy name!

Welcome to the ocd forum!

Been there, done that...everything you are saying. Please know that you are not alone. I lived for 8, horrible years with the same types of thoughts.

You are forgiven, but to be honest reassurance is not what ocd'ers need. It only feeds the ocd. You need to see a psychatrist with a good backround in ocd therapy, and medication. It took me 11 different doctors before I was directed to one who knew what he was talking about !

OCD is an illness, and needs to be treated as such. It is not something to try and figure out on your own, because our ocd thoughts only lead us into more fear and hopelessness.

There is hope. I hardly think on those thoughts anymore, and when they do come I just say "oh well" and move on with my day. No, I have not lost my faith. God understands ocd and what you need to do to get better.

My prayer is that God gives you the direction to seek the help you need to know you are a saved child of His.

seajoy

 

[Ryskee182]

yes basically all the advice above is good

 

[Hello There]

I could probably give you 3 theological reasons why you haven't blasphemed the Holy Spirit, I'm not sure if I'm right to say them, PM me if you need em'

We've just got to eliminate this fear.