i havent been here in a while

[Caty]

My ocd stopped being so bad, i guess because school started back and ive been stressed out of my mind. but i have a public speaking thing comeing up soon and ive been worrying if ill accidentally say something or on my social networking sites im afraid ill accidentally type something i dont want too. i

ive been having bad thoughts again and i really dont know if im just mean or and im just scared of going to hell or if i really hate the thoughts.

i dont belive ill ever be forgiven and i dont know if because i havent been thinking the thoughts as much means that i dont care or because i havent been worrying, does it mean i dont care?

my thoughts have been more occupied with "sickness thoughts" im also afraid i have something terminal and ill die not being right with God and then i have blasphemous thoughts because i get mad at God and i dont want to be mean like that. I dont enjoy them, but I do doubt Him when I have them.

 

[Gregory Thompson]

Bless .

It sounds like fear speaking to the right side of your brain .

regarding forgiveness:

1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

some of that sounds familiar from earlier in my walk

hope you feel better .

 

[annrobert]

My ocd stopped being so bad, i guess because school started back and ive been stressed out of my mind. but i have a public speaking thing comeing up soon and ive been worrying if ill accidentally say something or on my social networking sites im afraid ill accidentally type something i dont want too. i

ive been having bad thoughts again and i really dont know if im just mean or and im just scared of going to hell or if i really hate the thoughts.

i dont belive ill ever be forgiven and i dont know if because i havent been thinking the thoughts as much means that i dont care or because i havent been worrying, does it mean i dont care?

Caty everyone who comes to Jesus for mercy and forgiveness receives it.
If anyone worries that they do not care , they just need to ask Jesus to make them care and He answers.
Jesus gives good gifts to those who ask Him.
Jesus gives us a new heart.
We can do nothing of ourself anyway
Only believers care about Jesus and salvation, unbelievers never worry about it.
.Ezekiel 11:19
And I will give them one heart, and I will put a new spirit within you; and I will take the stony heart out of their flesh, and will give them an heart of flesh:




my thoughts have been more occupied with "sickness thoughts" im also afraid i have something terminal and ill die not being right with God and then i have blasphemous thoughts because i get mad at God and i dont want to be mean like that. I dont enjoy them, but I do doubt Him when I have them.

Romans 8:7
Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be.
Ephesians 4:23
And be renewed in the spirit of your mind;






Isaiah 55:1
Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters, and he that hath no money; come ye, buy, and eat; yea, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price.

Ezekiel 36:26
A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh.


John 7:37
In the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried, saying, If Any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink.


John 6:35
And Jesus said unto them, I am the bread of life: he that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst.

Revelation 22:17
And the Spirit and the bride say, Come. And let him that heareth say, Come. And let him that is athirst come. And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely.

Acts 2:21
And it shall come to pass, that whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be saved.

Zechariah 13:9
And I will bring the third part through the fire, and will refine them as silver is refined, and will try them as gold is tried: they shall call on my name, and I will hear them: I will say, It is my people: and they shall say, The LORD is my God.

John 6:37
All that the Father giveth me shall come to me; and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out.


1 Timothy 1:15
This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief.


Mark 2:17
When Jesus heard it, he saith unto them, They that are whole have no need of the physician, but they that are sick: I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.

Luke 5:32
I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.




Galations
8But though we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel unto you than that which we have preached unto you, let him be accursed.
9As we said before, so say I now again, if any man preach any other gospel unto you than that ye have received, let him be accursed.


Romans 9
30What shall we say then? That the Gentiles, which followed not after righteousness, have attained to righteousness, even the righteousness which is of faith.

31But Israel, which followed after the law of righteousness, hath not attained to the law of righteousness.
32Wherefore? Because they sought it not by faith, but as it were by the works of the law. For they stumbled at that stumblingstone; 33As it is written, Behold, I lay in Sion a stumblingstone and rock of offence: and whosoever believeth on Him shall not be ashamed.


Romans 3:4
God forbid: yea, let God be true, but every man a liar; as it is written, That thou mightest be justified in thy sayings, and mightest overcome when thou art judged.



John 6:47
Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me hath everlasting life.


24Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life.


Luke 4:18
The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised,


Caty I really encourage you to consider seeking treatment for these things you are going through.
It sounds like you are going through so much suffering and fear and confusion.
I think a doctor may be able to help you and also might prescribe medication to help you.
You mentioned in a different thread that you were thinking about getting on medication and that might be a good idea.
Jesus loves you
I hope you feel better soon
annrobert

 

[annrobert]

Bless .

It sounds like fear speaking to the right side of your brain .

regarding forgiveness:

1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

some of that sounds familiar from earlier in my walk

hope you feel better .

 

[zingiber]

I'm glad that you were better for a while! Now try to build on that! It is funny how distraction removes your mind from OCD - for you it is school. I just had a work related thing which had me rather nervous, and for the first time in a long time, I was more scared of something than I was scared of going to hell!

Now, do you see what your OCD is doing? When you cease fearing, your mind tells you that you have to start to fear again. It sucks you down like quicksand; the more you struggle, the more you sink - remember that!. If you continue to engage with your OCD, your mind will continue on a downward course. But you can get out. You see, it is GOOD that you weren't worrying, and really GOOD that you no longer cared about the thoughts - that is the ideal situation!

I also deal with thoughts of sickness; cancer, especially. At the moment my thoughts mostly deal with sudden death, for example: death by choking, heart attack, car crash, and other such hideous fates. The reality is, we don't know what is going to happen to us. Only God knows, and we do well to trust him to do what is right. Can you by worrying add one year to your life? All you can do is care for yourself and live a healthy life. Leave the rest to God!

Try not to analyse the state of your mind: whether you agree with the thoughts or no, whether you are just scared of going to hell or otherwise, whether you are just a bad person or not; try to get back to the stage where you don't care about your OCD any longer, because that is a good place to be!

 

[gracealone]

Great Advice!!!
Mitzi

I'm glad that you were better for a while! Now try to build on that! It is funny how distraction removes your mind from OCD - for you it is school. I just had a work related thing which had me rather nervous, and for the first time in a long time, I was more scared of something than I was scared of going to hell!

Now, do you see what your OCD is doing? When you cease fearing, your mind tells you that you have to start to fear again. It sucks you down like quicksand; the more you struggle, the more you sink - remember that!. If you continue to engage with your OCD, your mind will continue on a downward course. But you can get out. You see, it is GOOD that you weren't worrying, and really GOOD that you no longer cared about the thoughts - that is the ideal situation!

I also deal with thoughts of sickness; cancer, especially. At the moment my thoughts mostly deal with sudden death, for example: death by choking, heart attack, car crash, and other such hideous fates. The reality is, we don't know what is going to happen to us. Only God knows, and we do well to trust him to do what is right. Can you by worrying add one year to your life? All you can do is care for yourself and live a healthy life. Leave the rest to God!

Try not to analyse the state of your mind: whether you agree with the thoughts or no, whether you are just scared of going to hell or otherwise, whether you are just a bad person or not; try to get back to the stage where you don't care about your OCD any longer, because that is a good place to be!

 

[seajoy]

I'm glad that you were better for a while! Now try to build on that! It is funny how distraction removes your mind from OCD - for you it is school. I just had a work related thing which had me rather nervous, and for the first time in a long time, I was more scared of something than I was scared of going to hell!

Now, do you see what your OCD is doing? When you cease fearing, your mind tells you that you have to start to fear again. It sucks you down like quicksand; the more you struggle, the more you sink - remember that!. If you continue to engage with your OCD, your mind will continue on a downward course. But you can get out. You see, it is GOOD that you weren't worrying, and really GOOD that you no longer cared about the thoughts - that is the ideal situation!

I also deal with thoughts of sickness; cancer, especially. At the moment my thoughts mostly deal with sudden death, for example: death by choking, heart attack, car crash, and other such hideous fates. The reality is, we don't know what is going to happen to us. Only God knows, and we do well to trust him to do what is right. Can you by worrying add one year to your life? All you can do is care for yourself and live a healthy life. Leave the rest to God!

Try not to analyse the state of your mind: whether you agree with the thoughts or no, whether you are just scared of going to hell or otherwise, whether you are just a bad person or not; try to get back to the stage where you don't care about your OCD any longer, because that is a good place to be!

very good post!

 

[Caty]

but if i don't analyze myself then how do i know if it's all my ocd or not?

 

[Gregory Thompson]

but if i don't analyze myself then how do i know if it's all my ocd or not?

discern with mercy

 

[zingiber]

You can recognise the signs of OCD clearly - you don't need to analyse your mind, your thoughts, your deep motives or your emotions.

OCD thoughts can be recognised by their characteristic obsession with one topic. Even when the thoughts have been shown to be illogical, or have been refuted, they continue to grow more convoluted and complicated, still obsessed with your dominant fears. They continue to doubt in the face of surety.

In particular, ascribe any thoughts to OCD that start with 'What if?', for it seems that these are almost invariably obsessions! Also I would advise rejecting any inward-turned thought that tries to use your own thoughts or states of mind or emotions to prove the state of your soul.

Remember, your goodness doesn't rest on your own shoulders - that burden has been lifted from you. Our purpose is now to dance in the freedom that we have, leaving our sins to Jesus who bore them for us.

The point is, don't look at yourself, look at God!

 

[seajoy]

but if i don't analyze myself then how do i know if it's all my ocd or not?

If you keep analyzing, you cannot get better. Remember, God understands OCD. You can never figure out your thoughts where OCD is present.

 

[Gregory Thompson]

If you keep analyzing, you cannot get better. Remember, God understands OCD. You can never figure out your thoughts where OCD is present.

I take exception to the word never .

Anything is possible to the one who trusts in God .

beyond all compulsions .

 

[seajoy]

I take exception to the word never .

Anything is possible to the one who trusts in God .

beyond all compulsions .

God gives us therapy to get better, just like with other illnesses. It's best to use these God-given methods to get better. I meant no harm - only trying to help.

 

[Gregory Thompson]

God gives us therapy to get better, just like with other illnesses. It's best to use these God-given methods to get better. I meant no harm - only trying to help.

God does use doctors . and in some cases He operates through faith so mightily no doctors are required . whatever contributes best to one's relationship with God . depending on the person it could be either and in many cases a mixture of both .

bless .

 

[seajoy]

God does use doctors . and in some cases He operates through faith so mightily no doctors are required . whatever contributes best to one's relationship with God . depending on the person it could be either and in many cases a mixture of both .

bless .

All I know is that I tried doing it my way for 8yrs, trying to figure out my OCD....then God came to me and said "Be still and know that I am God." I started keeping still, and God blessed me with the cure for OCD through His mighty power.

 

[Gregory Thompson]

All I know is that I tried doing it my way for 8yrs, trying to figure out my OCD....then God came to me and said "Be still and know that I am God." I started keeping still, and God blessed me with the cure for OCD through His mighty power.

So happy to hear that . i love it when He works restoration .

 

[gracealone]

Hi Caty,
This kind of analyzing - trying to figure out if it's OCD or not is a compulsive response to the obsessional fears. It's still an attempt to get some sort of reassurance. It is one of the most common road blocks that we run into when we are attempting to employ the techniques of ERP - ie. ignoring the thoughts and refusing to attend to them. When we head down that road we end up right back where we started and the cycle starts all over again.
The biggest clue that it's OCD is that - no answers suffice and the more you try to figure it all out or outlogic it the worse you feel. The anxiety just keeps on peaking and the obsession gets more firmly embedded in your brain.
This is because you are continually teaching your brain that it's an important and urgent subject by constantly ruminating about it.
You have to be willing to live with those feelings of anxiety and uncertainty about the obsession without attending to it for as long as it takes your brain to quit throwing a fit about it.
When your brain says... "but what if?" or "maybe?" you just have to say ..."Oh well... I don't feel certain or comfortable about that but I can't keep on doing this anymore."
John Bunyan learned to live with uncertainty about his religious OCD and completely stopped trying to figure it all out.
He said....
"Come heaven, Come Hell"
"If He, (God), comes in, or not"
" Lord Jesus, if thou wilt catch me, do, if not"
"If I have comfort here, or not"
Then.... "I am for going on and venturing all for Thy name."

Do you see how he wasn't able to say... "I know", or "I've got it all figured out", or "OK I don't feel uncertain anymore?"
He finally just shoved past all those stinking accusations, quit fighting them, and got on with actively serving Christ.
This man suffered tremendously for years analyzing whether or not his blasphemous thoughts and feelings had condemned him or whether he really wanted to think them or not. It was only when he, "leapt off the ladder", and quit trying to figure it all out that he was able to get on with his life.
I thank God for his willingness to set it all down on paper because I have benefited greatly from His example. He was treating his OCD with ERP while not even knowing it was OCD. It's miraculous that God gave him that intuitive knowledge.
So... how are you going to "know" if it's your OCD or not?" For now you can't. You have to absorb those feelings of uncertainty as part and parcel of the disorder. This is the path to getting better.
Feelings of comfort about our relationship with God will come and go. When we have OCD we have to accept and expect that. Thankfully this does nothing to rob us of our volitional choice to follow and obey Him to the best of our ability.
Still praying!
Mitzi

but if i don't analyze myself then how do i know if it's all my ocd or not?

 

[gracealone]

Hey Seajoy,
I know you meant no harm - don't let your OCD tack any guilt onto you about anything you've said in these posts in order to try and help Caty.
Also... God has used you greatly to help me understand my OCD and get on the right path to managing it. I give Him all the glory for this just as I am well aware that you do the same.
It is an amazing priviledge to be used as a vessel of God's love to help another brother or sister who has suffered with OCD.
You are right that God works in and through Dr.'s - after all they wouldn't have the gift of knowledge and healing abilities had He not gifted them in those ways.
It's all about Him - all healing is miraculous and all healing is from His hand.
I love you!!
Mitzi

God gives us therapy to get better, just like with other illnesses. It's best to use these God-given methods to get better. I meant no harm - only trying to help.

 

[gracealone]

The only thing I want to add to this, Michael, is that it takes tremendous faith and courage to go to a Dr. for your OCD and to trust that God can and will work through a Dr. to treat your OCD. It's not an either/or thing. God is at work in both scenario's and the person with OCD must exercise his faith in God in both scenario's. One is not better than the other because God is the giver of "all good things." So the person who seeks the help of a Dr. for their OCD isn't in any way lacking in faith.
Please understand that those of us who have this disorder will give into that idea all too easily, and thinking that could prevent us from getting the help we need.
Respectfully,
Mitzi

God does use doctors . and in some cases He operates through faith so mightily no doctors are required . whatever contributes best to one's relationship with God . depending on the person it could be either and in many cases a mixture of both .

bless .

 

[seajoy]

Hey Seajoy,
I know you meant no harm - don't let your OCD tack any guilt onto you about anything you've said in these posts in order to try and help Caty.
Also... God has used you greatly to help me understand my OCD and get on the right path to managing it. I give Him all the glory for this just as I am well aware that you do the same.
It is an amazing priviledge to be used as a vessel of God's love to help another brother or sister who has suffered with OCD.
You are right that God works in and through Dr.'s - after all they wouldn't have the gift of knowledge and healing abilities had He not gifted them in those ways.
It's all about Him - all healing is miraculous and all healing is from His hand.
I love you!!
Mitzi

Awwww Mitzi, you made my day. All praise to the One who heals and saves.

ps. I've learned much from you too!!!