I have done some awful things.

[JohnGalt]

I have recently made some horrible financial decisions and put my family in a bad position. I didn't tell them as I was doing it. I did not have any malicious intent as I was doing it, in fact, at the time I thought I was doing something smart and helpful. I haven't done anything illegal.

In hindsight, I see that what I did was very wrong, stupid, and deceitful. I am dumbfounded that I could not see this at the time of my mistakes. If I could go back in time, I certainly would not do any of it again.

Please pray for my family and me. I am working as hard as I can to rectify the situation, but I don't know if I will be able to do it. I think I might have caused irreversible damage to my family.

 

[Evee]

Since we all make mistakes and certainly can't unscramble eggs all you have left is God.
Pray

 

[UberLutheran]

I have recently made some horrible financial decisions and put my family in a bad position. I didn't tell them as I was doing it. I did not have any malicious intent as I was doing it, in fact, at the time I thought I was doing something smart and helpful. I haven't done anything illegal.

In hindsight, I see that what I did was very wrong, stupid, and deceitful. I am dumbfounded that I could not see this at the time of my mistakes. If I could go back in time, I certainly would not do any of it again.

Please pray for my family and me. I am working as hard as I can to rectify the situation, but I don't know if I will be able to do it. I think I might have caused irreversible damage to my family.

You've seen what you've done, and I assume you've let your family (or at least your spouse) know what you've done and what you're doing about it. You're making amends for what you've done. Now, turn it over to God, do the next right thing (and continue doing so) and let go of the results.

 

[Evee]

I am sorry my curiosity got the best of me..Why didn't you talk it over, why would you do something that may have an effect for a very long time?

 

[Evee]

Oh never mind to answer that.

It is not like I haven't done some really dumb things that could probably out do you and many others.
Like UberLutheran said give it to God.

 

[KristiLee]

More Than Conquerors

28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
29For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.
30And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.
31What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?
32He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?
33Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies.
34Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.
35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?
36As it is written:
"For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."
37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,
39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

 

[KristiLee]

How do you forgive yourself? Regardless of what you have done or how long you have been in bondage, you can be free if you follow four biblical steps.

Step 1. Recognize the Problem
You must recognize and acknowledge that you have not forgiven yourself. You must come to grips with the fact that you still hold yourself in bondage.
Pray: Father, I realize I haven't forgiven myself and am in bondage because of it.

Step 2. Repent of Sin
You must repent of that sin for which you cannot forgive yourself. You must tell God that you realize that your unwillingness to forgive yourself is not keeping with His Word. And you must thank Him for His forgiveness as you confess your sin to Him.
Pray: I thank You, Father, for forgiving me for holding myself in bondage, for keeping myself from You, and for limiting Your use of me.

Step 3. Reaffirm Trust
You must reaffirm your trust in the testimony of Scripture: "As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us" (Ps. 103:12 NKJV).
Pray: Father, I reaffirm my trust and my faith in the Word of God.

Step 4. Confess Freedom and Choose to Receive It
You must confess your freedom and choose to receive it freely.
Pray: Lord Jesus, on the basis of Your Word, by an act of my will, in faith, I here and now forgive myself because You have already forgiven me and I accept my forgiveness. I choose from this moment to be freed of all which I have held against myself. Please confirm my freedom to me by the power and presence of Your Holy Spirit.

If you are willing to follow these simple steps, not only will you be set free, but the healing process will be initiated.

When you choose by an act of the will to accept what God has said is true, you accept God's acceptance of you. And you can tell Him that you have played back that accusing video-tape for the last time. When Satan tries to punch the button again, he will find that he has been short-circuited by Jesus.

YOU ARE FREE.

Psalm 118:5
In my anguish I cried to the LORD, and he answered by setting me free.

 

[JohnGalt]

I am sorry my curiosity got the best of me..Why didn't you talk it over, why would you do something that may have an effect for a very long time?

Years ago, I started working part time on a small business that involved investing money. I had a regular job at the time, and only worked on the small business in my spare time.

Over 6 or 7 years, I became quite successful at it, and made a tremendous amount of money. Finally, my wife and I decided it made sense for me to quit my regular job and work on this new business full time. She also quit her job at the same time, as I was making far more money than the two of us combined. Although she knew what I was doing in the business, she was not interested in the day-to-day details and trusted me (this makes me feel all the worse, since she now has no reason to trust me at all anymore).

Once I started doing it full time, I unconsciously made some changes to the way I was doing business. I'm not sure why I changed what was working so well, but I believe I might have panicked a little bit once I realized our livelihood depended on my success. My work started becoming less and less successful.

Then I made the mistake of borrowing a lot of money to try to improve my business. I thought if I had more to work with, I could improve what I was doing. I did not tell my wife. At the time, I can honestly say that I saw absolutely nothing wrong with this. I know it sounds crazy, but I really thought it wasn't a big deal at all. Now, though, I see that it was very deceitful to borrow a lot without telling my wife. Sorry, but I cannot explain why I thought the way I did. Maybe I wasn't "thinking".

Anyway, my poor performance in the business got worse, I have made almost no income in the last year, and now I have no way to pay back the money. We are staring bankruptcy in the face right now.

I am looking for a job, but I don't think there is a job that will pay me enough to recover from this tremendous debt. I am continuing my business, praying that it will improve enough to help us climb out of the hole I dug. I have reviewed my performance, and see where I messed up initially. I am working as I did before when I was very successful. However, I am afraid it is too little too late.

My wife is very close to leaving with our children. I can think of no punishment worse than to lose my wife and children. I love them very much. At the time I borrowed all the money, I believed I was doing it to help them. Now I realize it was wrong and stupid. My brain apparently took a vacation last year.

 

[thunderbyrd]

John: i don't know you and you don't know me, but know that i love you and your family with the love of Jesus Christ and i will certainly pray for you and your family.

Last year, a month before Christmas, a deputy came to my door and handed me a summons over a debt i owed and couldn't pay. i went into a total panic, but i was able to calm down enough to pray over it.

to make a long story short, the Lord fixed the whole situation for me and i came out better off, He gave me a way to both pay the debt honestly and get out from under the crushing interest rate. And like yourself, it was a dumb move to have ever borrowed money from this source in the 1st place. Jesus Christ is good, kind, strong, and a master strategest!

Don't despair, fellow Child of the King! Hang on, Brother John, i earnestly belive the scripture: "all things work to the good of those who love God..." Romans 8:28

 

[crazylittlep]

 

[Evee]

Years ago, I started working part time on a small business that involved investing money. I had a regular job at the time, and only worked on the small business in my spare time.

Over 6 or 7 years, I became quite successful at it, and made a tremendous amount of money. Finally, my wife and I decided it made sense for me to quit my regular job and work on this new business full time. She also quit her job at the same time, as I was making far more money than the two of us combined. Although she knew what I was doing in the business, she was not interested in the day-to-day details and trusted me (this makes me feel all the worse, since she now has no reason to trust me at all anymore).

Once I started doing it full time, I unconsciously made some changes to the way I was doing business. I'm not sure why I changed what was working so well, but I believe I might have panicked a little bit once I realized our livelihood depended on my success. My work started becoming less and less successful.

Then I made the mistake of borrowing a lot of money to try to improve my business. I thought if I had more to work with, I could improve what I was doing. I did not tell my wife. At the time, I can honestly say that I saw absolutely nothing wrong with this. I know it sounds crazy, but I really thought it wasn't a big deal at all. Now, though, I see that it was very deceitful to borrow a lot without telling my wife. Sorry, but I cannot explain why I thought the way I did. Maybe I wasn't "thinking".

Anyway, my poor performance in the business got worse, I have made almost no income in the last year, and now I have no way to pay back the money. We are staring bankruptcy in the face right now.

I am looking for a job, but I don't think there is a job that will pay me enough to recover from this tremendous debt. I am continuing my business, praying that it will improve enough to help us climb out of the hole I dug. I have reviewed my performance, and see where I messed up initially. I am working as I did before when I was very successful. However, I am afraid it is too little too late.

My wife is very close to leaving with our children. I can think of no punishment worse than to lose my wife and children. I love them very much. At the time I borrowed all the money, I believed I was doing it to help them. Now I realize it was wrong and stupid. My brain apparently took a vacation last year.

I will be praying and sending good thoughts of Love your way.
I pray she don't leave even if you have to go bankrupt.
That you both will work this out together.
Just pray that God will get you through this his way.
I have learned some pretty bitter lessons also.
I understand and will be praying.

 

[roamincatholicgirl]

I am so sorry. Believe me, even though I'm only 15, I remember when my dad's firm was having a very hard time. We were in debt and my parents were always fighting. Eventually things got sorted out and we're doing fine.

I think the best thing to do would be to explain to your wife honestly what happened and for the two of you to come up with some way to solve this. I'm praying for you. I believe your love will endure for richer or for poorer.

 

[surfs]

I can understand your feelings.My mind took a break years ago when I made bad decisions regarding retirement savings and lost it all.It is important to come to the point of saying whats done is done--no point in crying over spilt milk[ie mentally beating ourselves up for what we have done]---time to move on--praying for God's wisdom/guidance for present decisions--Prov 3:5/6 and His inner strength[Phil 4:13}and peace{Phil 4:5-7}for each day remembering that nothing is impossible for Him--ie your comments it is too late for things to improve.--in Christ--Terry

 

[UnitynLove]

I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up




We have all fallen down at one time or another...not just physically but also emotionally. And picking yourself back up again is, unfortunately, easier said than done.

It doesn't take any special talent to give up, to lie down on the roadside of life and say, "I quit!" In fact, the road to chronic discouragement, hopelessness, and despair, often begins with an ordinary day that ends up piled high with simple disappointments.

According to Webster, to disappoint is "to fail to satisfy the hope, desire, or expectation of." In other words, when we set ourselves up to hope for something and that hope is not met, then we become disappointed. We feel let down and betrayed.

Let's face it—none of us is ever going to get to the place in life where we have no more disappointments. We can't expect to be sheltered from every little thing. Disappointment is a fact of life...one that must be dealt with. If not, discouragement and devastation are never far away.

Too often people end up devastated and don't understand why. They seemed to be going along just fine, and now they've fallen by the roadside without knowing how or why. Many people don't realize that the problem could have started a long time ago with simple disappointment that they failed to work through.

Deep hurt doesn't just come from huge disappointments, like when we fail to get the job or promotion we really wanted. Deep emotional hurt can even come from a series of minor annoyances and frustrations.

That's why we must know how to handle the small disappointments we encounter daily and keep them in perspective. Otherwise, they can get out of hand and be blown up out of proportion.

For example, imagine that you start out your day behind schedule, so you are already frustrated. On the way to the office, unexpected traffic delays cause you to be even later. Then when you finally get to work, you find out that someone on the job has been gossiping about you behind your back. You get some coffee to help you calm down, but you spill it all over yourself—only making matters worse since you have an important meeting with the boss and no time to change clothes!

Facing each of those little things separately is just annoying, but when they pile up together, it becomes almost more than you can bear. Then just about that time you get a report from the doctor that's not what you were hoping and praying for. And to top it all off, your fiancé calls and threatens to break off your engagement even though the wedding invitations have already been mailed!

How will you respond? Will you be full of faith? Or will you find yourself full of fear, and on that road to disappointment and discouragement? All of those minor frustrations and disappointments with the traffic, the office gossip, and the spilled coffee have set you up for a major calamity. And when you have to face some really serious problems like sickness or a failed relationship, you find that you don't have the means to deal with it—so you fall, plunging headlong into hopelessness and despair.

What are you to do when disappointment comes? When it weighs upon you like a rock, you can either let it press you down until you become discouraged and even devastated, or you can use it as a steppingstone to better things.

Learn to adapt and adjust. You can do it! Face the disappointment at its onset and be quick to make any adjustments required to remedy the situation. God has better things for you, and He will help you. He says in Hebrews 13:5, "...I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support...[I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let [you] down.... Instead of concentrating on your problems and getting discouraged, focus on God and meditate on His promises for you. Yes, you may have fallen down but you don't have to stay down. God is ready, willing and able to pick you up.

 

[JohnGalt]

Thank you all for your responses and prayers. I will do my best to return the favor to others here on the forum.

I am trying to avoid feeling despair, but I haven't been able to do it. I have prayed and prayed and continue to pray. I know God will give me support. Still, I have to work to fix what I've done. I can't sit down and do nothing and say "God will fix it."

Nothing I'm doing seems to be working. My wife and I worked hard for a long time to try to give our children a good environment. Now their house might be taken away from them. I know these are material things that don't matter in the kingdom of heaven, but that doesn't make it acceptable for me to have lost my two little kids' house and to have thrown away years of mine and my wife's hard work. Even worse, I've thrown away the trust that my family had in me.

I pray that with God's help we can get out of this before the worst happens, but it may be God's will for us to suffer the full and worst possible consequences of what I've done. If that is God's will, so be it. But if the worst happens, it will be my fault. I think I will always feel terrible about that. God can forgive me, I can "forgive" myself, but that won't take away my responsibility...nor will it undo what I did. No matter what I do; no matter what God does; it doesn't change the fact that I harmed the people I love the most.

If we had been wiped out by a hurricane, or by criminals, or by a stroke of bad luck, I would be disappointed, but I could live with myself. But this wasn't a hurricane or bad luck...it was me.

 

[thunderbyrd]

John: darn it, we are all a bunch of screw-ups, and you're no exception. Your family loves you.

 

[thunderbyrd]

I just happened to think, after i posted that last, John, i know a man who screwed his family and life up much much worse than what you have described. if i were to tell all the details, and i won't because it would be near to gossip for me to do so, if i were to describe it all you would agree that it's much worse. But the good news is that God is restoring that man's life today. it has taken 3-4 yrs, but God is straightening things out in a wonderful way - and He'll do it for you, too... and it won't take as long, i bet. do not despair!

 

[KristiLee]

But if the worst happens, it will be my fault. I think I will always feel terrible about that. God can forgive me, I can "forgive" myself, but that won't take away my responsibility...nor will it undo what I did. No matter what I do; no matter what God does; it doesn't change the fact that I harmed the people I love the most.

When I was pregnant with my daughter Katlyn, my husband didn't want me driving anywhere, he just felt more comfortable being the one responsible for anything that could happen. After she was born it remained that way until he felt better about it. Because he is my husband if he had not said "do not drive" and something happened, he would have felt responsible anyway. As the provider and protecter of your family of course you feel responsible, that is your role. Even if your wife had been the one to make the mistake, it would have been your responsibility and you would still have to recover.

You need to stop holding on to this. By the statement made above you have basically said that the forgiveness and love of God isn't enough to change anything. You are right you can't change what you did, but you can stop feeling sorry for yourself about it. In essence it seems that you don't believe God can rectify this situation. You feel that only you can. That is where you are absolutely wrong. It is when we think that it's up to us that all efforts result in failure. That is what you did wrong in the first place. Instead of praying about what to do next and calling on God for His insight you took your business in your own hands and look where you are. Perhaps the lesson for you is in that. You are not leaning on God's understanding, but your own. Get out of your pity party and wait for God's instruction. You obviously don't know what to do... so what do you think will change that? Only God can. Pray. Lean on Him. He has the best interest of you and your family at heart, even more than you do for your family as much as that is. God is smarter, and all knowing. Just like our children need guidance from their parents, we as children of God need His guidance.

I am sorry if this seems blunt and cool, it is not to put you down but to help open your eyes to what you can do for God, and what He can do for you.
You are in my prayers.

 

[surfs]

Hi John----perhaps our greatest example of remorse in the Bible is that of King David who was the spiritual head of the nation of Israel, yet was guilty of adultery and murder.We see his feelings of regret displayed in the Psalms.He realized he had failed in his responsibility to both God and his own family.He knew what had happened could not be undone but he moved on.We are imperfect people--a spiritual work in progress.If you allow yourself to be consumed by the guilt of what has been done you can not be the man God wants,the husband your wife desires or the father your children need.We all mess up in life in different ways but the key is what we do in response to what has happened.We either allow experiences to make us better or bitter.It is our choice.--in Christ--Terry

 

[eturner74]

I am praying for you Keep faith in the lord and he will help you through this situation