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I Have Been Made a Criminal - Future Problems Await

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This was a mishap. An argument that someone complained to the wrong people and then i found myself arrested some time ago. The "victim" apologized not knowing what was going to happen when they made a phone call just to get info, but then the police decided, naw, let us take him in. This was many months back and things are fine since that argument. No assault. No swearing. No threats. Nothing like that. I am not going to get into the details, but believe me, it was an argument with another adult that just got emotional and someone told the police some exaggerations to get me arrest (like I threaten to commit suicide, which I never, ever did!!). But, I got arrested and that was the most humiliating, degrading weekend of my life. I got through it, been in therapy. Was a horrible time (but was in fact the most I slept in decades, once I had a bed, since nothing else to do).

Anyway, after that ordeal many months back (2017 really), the case was dropped. I got two problems that linger. Once, the attorney still has yet provided me with a letter stating it was dropped, in case it shows up in a future job search. Two, and this is the biggest I am having massive stress over. For some reason my arrest is considered "public records" so now it is online. That is a big, big problem. People search for me from work, because they try to find things out about me like my birthday, where I lived, etc. More for fun and the last time they did ti was last year, at least in front of me. Now, you type just my name and I got dozens of sites of my "mugshot" (which is a horrible image of a broken man) saying why I was arrested. If people find this, I am ruined and could lose my job after many years finally getting here. If future employers see it, I may not get real work again. If my abusive future ex finds it..... gosh the things she could do with social media. I can not find a way to get it removed. All sites say NO. Other sites have no methods to even contact anyone. No idea what gives them this right since the government has no right to display this stuff (but people say they do, bla bla). If anyone who has not yet found these records online do eventually, it could ruin me and my children (who not know of this mishap) for life. Their lives and all of mine.

The amount of anxiety and stress I am going through over this, with no help on how to solve it. All my therapist can do is listen.

As I always say, if it is not one thing, it is a whole lot of other things. This is just another big issue I have to deal with, but one I do not know how to deal with.

I am scared of the future implications this is going to have now. I am praying but am sure unless God wipes it all off from the Internet now.... someone will find me online and it will cause drastic problems later.
 

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There's not much you can but become a redemption story. Odds are, no one is going to find it, and if they do, you can just explain what happened. We all have a past and we hate when that past might come back to haunt us, but you weren't charged with anything right? Didn't receive a prison sentence. It's not something that will be on a permanent record. It will go away. Hang in there and learn how to use this situation to better yourself.
 
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Presbyterian Continuist

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This was a mishap. An argument that someone complained to the wrong people and then i found myself arrested some time ago. The "victim" apologized not knowing what was going to happen when they made a phone call just to get info, but then the police decided, naw, let us take him in. This was many months back and things are fine since that argument. No assault. No swearing. No threats. Nothing like that. I am not going to get into the details, but believe me, it was an argument with another adult that just got emotional and someone told the police some exaggerations to get me arrest (like I threaten to commit suicide, which I never, ever did!!). But, I got arrested and that was the most humiliating, degrading weekend of my life. I got through it, been in therapy. Was a horrible time (but was in fact the most I slept in decades, once I had a bed, since nothing else to do).

Anyway, after that ordeal many months back (2017 really), the case was dropped. I got two problems that linger. Once, the attorney still has yet provided me with a letter stating it was dropped, in case it shows up in a future job search. Two, and this is the biggest I am having massive stress over. For some reason my arrest is considered "public records" so now it is online. That is a big, big problem. People search for me from work, because they try to find things out about me like my birthday, where I lived, etc. More for fun and the last time they did ti was last year, at least in front of me. Now, you type just my name and I got dozens of sites of my "mugshot" (which is a horrible image of a broken man) saying why I was arrested. If people find this, I am ruined and could lose my job after many years finally getting here. If future employers see it, I may not get real work again. If my abusive future ex finds it..... gosh the things she could do with social media. I can not find a way to get it removed. All sites say NO. Other sites have no methods to even contact anyone. No idea what gives them this right since the government has no right to display this stuff (but people say they do, bla bla). If anyone who has not yet found these records online do eventually, it could ruin me and my children (who not know of this mishap) for life. Their lives and all of mine.

The amount of anxiety and stress I am going through over this, with no help on how to solve it. All my therapist can do is listen.

As I always say, if it is not one thing, it is a whole lot of other things. This is just another big issue I have to deal with, but one I do not know how to deal with.

I am scared of the future implications this is going to have now. I am praying but am sure unless God wipes it all off from the Internet now.... someone will find me online and it will cause drastic problems later.
You can't be a criminal according to law unless you have appeared before a judge, judged as guilty and convicted of the offence. If the case has been dropped, then you are free from any criminality. If there are people prying into your affairs, or making suggestions contrary to the actually reality of your situation, you can go back to your attorney and file legal proceedings against them for slander, or defamation of character. Also, when prospective employer or your current employer seeks to see if you have any criminality, they will see if you have had a criminal conviction. If your employer or any subsequent employer discriminates against you on the basis that you were investigated by the police and had the case subsequently dropped, you can file legal proceedings against them. In New Zealand, we have a government agency called The Employment Service, and complaints can be made to them and if the complaint is serious enough, the case can go before an Employment Court Judge, and compensation resulting in thousands of dollars can be awarded against the employer.

The bottom line is that no one can accuse you of being a criminal if there is no criminal conviction, without making themselves subject to litigation that could cost them many thousands of dollars in damages.

We also have privacy legislation in our country where information about a person can only be obtained with that person's permission and used for lawful purposes. It seems that those who are prying into your affairs and attempting to get information that they have no right to may be committing an offence against the law if you have similar legislation in your country. I would discuss these issues with your attorney and find out your legal rights and be fully prepared to sue the pants off anyone who violates your rights to a fair deal and privacy.
 
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There's not much you can but become a redemption story. Odds are, no one is going to find it, and if they do, you can just explain what happened. We all have a past and we hate when that past might come back to haunt us, but you weren't charged with anything right? Didn't receive a prison sentence. It's not something that will be on a permanent record. It will go away. Hang in there and learn how to use this situation to better yourself.

Not charged. Cased dropped. "Victim" sorry got me into that mess. We kind of laugh about it now.
But chances of someone finding it. Considering people at my job have pulled up wrong info of me online just by "Googling" my name, if they do it again it will show, if not not done so already and just not told me (thankfully). I just put my name in and it is there. Nasty.
I am trying to hang in there, but with heavy dark storms already here, there has just become another pattern of weather crashing in.
But now, let us even say on a lighter note some potential lady wants to date me, she will see I was arrested for this and and that and thinks I am a horrible person before even knowing what happened (which was only a argument!). You find me one person that when looking online a potential date, found records, but decided, "naw, this old news, s/he a sweet person to me and I will still date him/her," and I will give you a cookie. Even my (then non abusive) mate went looking me up online before we dated and found nothing (as at the time of 2014, nothing of me existed online). With everyone so into this social media crap every second of the day, looking someone up online is what people seem to do without thought. Now, look me up, nothing but horrible looking mugshots.
On the non lighter note, there is no guarantee.
But I understand what you trying to say. Nothing I can do about it, so face the battles when they come. Just in my experience, over the past several years I have been losing a lot of battles as it is due to lack of money and the ability to talk the talk.
Still, your encouragement is appreciated.
 
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Presbyterian Continuist

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Not charged. Cased dropped. "Victim" sorry got me into that mess. We kind of laugh about it now.
But chances of someone finding it. Considering people at my job have pulled up wrong info of me online just by "Googling" my name, if they do it again it will show, if not not done so already and just not told me (thankfully). I just put my name in and it is there. Nasty.
I am trying to hang in there, but with heavy dark storms already here, there has just become another pattern of weather crashing in.
But now, let us even say on a lighter note some potential lady wants to date me, she will see I was arrested for this and and that and thinks I am a horrible person before even knowing what happened (which was only a argument!). You find me one person that when looking online a potential date, found records, but decided, "naw, this old news, s/he a sweet person to me and I will still date him/her," and I will give you a cookie. Even my (then non abusive) mate went looking me up online before we dated and found nothing (as at the time of 2014, nothing of me existed online). With everyone so into this social media crap every second of the day, looking someone up online is what people seem to do without thought. Now, look me up, nothing but horrible looking mugshots.
On the non lighter note, there is no guarantee.
But I understand what you trying to say. Nothing I can do about it, so face the battles when they come. Just in my experience, over the past several years I have been losing a lot of battles as it is due to lack of money and the ability to talk the talk.
Still, your encouragement is appreciated.
Contact your attorney and ask him to send them a letter demanding an apology otherwise you will sue them for all they have got.
 
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JAM2b

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It's nerve wracking and emotionally painful. However, for myself I have found a similar situation doesn't turn out as bad as I feel like it will.

I have a misdemeanor from years back over a bad check. It wasn't an intentional thing, and I paid it, but they had already turned it over to the county and once that happened the process could not be stopped. The charge is "Theft by Check." It is humiliating.

I was never arrested because it had been paid, but I was finger printed and had to pay court cost and a fine. The court cost was higher than the fine and check combined.

Every time I fill out a job application and they ask about criminal history I feel nauseated. Each time I have gotten an interview I have just explained the situation. I have never been judged harshly. People have always been polite and understanding. I usually get hired if I get as far as an interview. There have been very few times that I have been turned down once I got a chance to talk with them.
 
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You can't be a criminal according to law unless you have appeared before a judge, judged as guilty and convicted of the offence. If the case has been dropped, then you are free from any criminality. If there are people prying into your affairs, or making suggestions contrary to the actually reality of your situation, you can go back to your attorney and file legal proceedings against them for slander, or defamation of character. Also, when prospective employer or your current employer seeks to see if you have any criminality, they will see if you have had a criminal conviction. If your employer or any subsequent employer discriminates against you on the basis that you were investigated by the police and had the case subsequently dropped, you can file legal proceedings against them. In New Zealand, we have a government agency called The Employment Service, and complaints can be made to them and if the complaint is serious enough, the case can go before an Employment Court Judge, and compensation resulting in thousands of dollars can be awarded against the employer.

The bottom line is that no one can accuse you of being a criminal if there is no criminal conviction, without making themselves subject to litigation that could cost them many thousands of dollars in damages.

We also have privacy legislation in our country where information about a person can only be obtained with that person's permission and used for lawful purposes. It seems that those who are prying into your affairs and attempting to get information that they have no right to may be committing an offence against the law if you have similar legislation in your country. I would discuss these issues with your attorney and find out your legal rights and be fully prepared to sue the pants off anyone who violates your rights to a fair deal and privacy.

If future jobs ever decide to not consider me for a "different candidate," there is never a way to prove I was refused the position for this. I know my age (old to human standards, young to mine) has caused me not to get past jobs, but I got no proof of it. I just know... Unless someone has definite reason by being told of it, or have some proof, there is no way I can prove anyone denying me of a job over "them picking another option." This is how I have seen it.

As far as my attorney, she was court appointed and has not even sent me that letter she promised many times over the past several months. And she runs the firm she is at, so i can not go any higher in their ladder.

I understand what you are saying and will keep it in mind (well, the link to this page saved anyway for future reference anyway).
 
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It's nerve wracking and emotionally painful. However, for myself I have found a similar situation doesn't turn out as bad as I feel like it will.

I have a misdemeanor from years back over a bad check. It wasn't an intentional thing, and I paid it, but they had already turned it over to the county and once that happened the process could not be stopped. The charge is "Theft by Check." It is humiliating.

I was never arrested because it had been paid, but I was finger printed and had to pay court cost and a fine. The court cost was higher than the fine and check combined.

Every time I fill out a job application and they ask about criminal history I feel nauseated. Each time I have gotten an interview I have just explained the situation. I have never been judged harshly. People have always been polite and understanding. I usually get hired if I get as far as an interview. There have been very few times that I have been turned down once I got a chance to talk with them.


I am glad at least I do not have to selected, "have you ever been convicted."

I always prided myself of never being in jail (something woman always admire of a man). Well, not behind bars anyway. My best friend thinks it is funny as he works for a jail knowing I had to go through... the process of it all. Yea, he a bum. I will get him for it. :sigh:

Gosh, the stuff I had to explain to my parent when it happened.
 
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Llleopard

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It's nerve wracking and emotionally painful. However, for myself I have found a similar situation doesn't turn out as bad as I feel like it will.

I have a misdemeanor from years back over a bad check. It wasn't an intentional thing, and I paid it, but they had already turned it over to the county and once that happened the process could not be stopped. The charge is "Theft by Check." It is humiliating.

I was never arrested because it had been paid, but I was finger printed and had to pay court cost and a fine. The court cost was higher than the fine and check combined.

Every time I fill out a job application and they ask about criminal history I feel nauseated. Each time I have gotten an interview I have just explained the situation. I have never been judged harshly. People have always been polite and understanding. I usually get hired if I get as far as an interview. There have been very few times that I have been turned down once I got a chance to talk with them.
Agreed. My husband has some class C drug convictions from his early twenties that have indeed come back to haunt him over the years, especially now with the internet. He has lost some good work and personal opportunities, and there are some countries we will never go to because of this. He looks on it as sowing and reaping the consequences. New Zealand has a 7 year 'clean slate' policy, so he no longer has to declare his convictions on most applications, but he still usually brings it up at interviews to preempt them finding out another way first - as JAM says, talking about it is usually enough to get people to understand. If they don't then it's not the right opportunity.

I can see that you are particularly mortified because there was never anything major that actually happened, and it may still cost you- but you may possibly have to suck it up and learn to live with that. Tell your friends and children as soon as they are old enough to understand so that they can support you and head it off at the pass. And try not to obsess over it. 'Least said' is sometimes 'soonest mended', and if you decide not to sue websites and try and have the stuff removed, then live your life happy until it does crop up as a problem, and then deal with it as best and truthfully as you can?
 
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redleghunter

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This was a mishap. An argument that someone complained to the wrong people and then i found myself arrested some time ago. The "victim" apologized not knowing what was going to happen when they made a phone call just to get info, but then the police decided, naw, let us take him in. This was many months back and things are fine since that argument. No assault. No swearing. No threats. Nothing like that. I am not going to get into the details, but believe me, it was an argument with another adult that just got emotional and someone told the police some exaggerations to get me arrest (like I threaten to commit suicide, which I never, ever did!!). But, I got arrested and that was the most humiliating, degrading weekend of my life. I got through it, been in therapy. Was a horrible time (but was in fact the most I slept in decades, once I had a bed, since nothing else to do).

Anyway, after that ordeal many months back (2017 really), the case was dropped. I got two problems that linger. Once, the attorney still has yet provided me with a letter stating it was dropped, in case it shows up in a future job search. Two, and this is the biggest I am having massive stress over. For some reason my arrest is considered "public records" so now it is online. That is a big, big problem. People search for me from work, because they try to find things out about me like my birthday, where I lived, etc. More for fun and the last time they did ti was last year, at least in front of me. Now, you type just my name and I got dozens of sites of my "mugshot" (which is a horrible image of a broken man) saying why I was arrested. If people find this, I am ruined and could lose my job after many years finally getting here. If future employers see it, I may not get real work again. If my abusive future ex finds it..... gosh the things she could do with social media. I can not find a way to get it removed. All sites say NO. Other sites have no methods to even contact anyone. No idea what gives them this right since the government has no right to display this stuff (but people say they do, bla bla). If anyone who has not yet found these records online do eventually, it could ruin me and my children (who not know of this mishap) for life. Their lives and all of mine.

The amount of anxiety and stress I am going through over this, with no help on how to solve it. All my therapist can do is listen.

As I always say, if it is not one thing, it is a whole lot of other things. This is just another big issue I have to deal with, but one I do not know how to deal with.

I am scared of the future implications this is going to have now. I am praying but am sure unless God wipes it all off from the Internet now.... someone will find me online and it will cause drastic problems later.
The only way to combat this with regards to employers is be up front show the letter of charges dropped. Don't let others find out via the grifters selling your mugshots.

Know of a hard working home healthcare helper who faced a similar situation. He could not find lasting work because a family member would find his old mugshot from years ago when he had an alcohol problem. He went through the steps and was clean for 5 years. Worked for a firm, he was up front and even had references of his clean record. Well a family member of a client looked him up found his mugshot and told the agency they would tell other clients if they did not fire him. They caved and he was a wounded and broken man. Yeah he became a Christian after his past. I really felt for the guy and found him a local church to work with him to refer him for work.

You may want to bring this up to your ministry team. They have dealt with situations worse than your own. Let the brethren minister to you.
 
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Mountainmanbob

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We can have convictions eventually in some cases erased and hidden but, arrest records seem to be there forever?

All that one can share with employers and friends is that it was a false arrest with no conviction. In this Country only convictions are supposed to be held against someone.

I've got a few of those -- don't hurt a retired guy too much. Nothing wrong with being The Prodigal Son as long as you have returned to the light.

M-Bob
 
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This was a mishap. An argument that someone complained to the wrong people and then i found myself arrested some time ago. The "victim" apologized not knowing what was going to happen when they made a phone call just to get info, but then the police decided, naw, let us take him in. This was many months back and things are fine since that argument. No assault. No swearing. No threats. Nothing like that. I am not going to get into the details, but believe me, it was an argument with another adult that just got emotional and someone told the police some exaggerations to get me arrest (like I threaten to commit suicide, which I never, ever did!!). But, I got arrested and that was the most humiliating, degrading weekend of my life. I got through it, been in therapy. Was a horrible time (but was in fact the most I slept in decades, once I had a bed, since nothing else to do).

Anyway, after that ordeal many months back (2017 really), the case was dropped. I got two problems that linger. Once, the attorney still has yet provided me with a letter stating it was dropped, in case it shows up in a future job search. Two, and this is the biggest I am having massive stress over. For some reason my arrest is considered "public records" so now it is online. That is a big, big problem. People search for me from work, because they try to find things out about me like my birthday, where I lived, etc. More for fun and the last time they did ti was last year, at least in front of me. Now, you type just my name and I got dozens of sites of my "mugshot" (which is a horrible image of a broken man) saying why I was arrested. If people find this, I am ruined and could lose my job after many years finally getting here. If future employers see it, I may not get real work again. If my abusive future ex finds it..... gosh the things she could do with social media. I can not find a way to get it removed. All sites say NO. Other sites have no methods to even contact anyone. No idea what gives them this right since the government has no right to display this stuff (but people say they do, bla bla). If anyone who has not yet found these records online do eventually, it could ruin me and my children (who not know of this mishap) for life. Their lives and all of mine.

The amount of anxiety and stress I am going through over this, with no help on how to solve it. All my therapist can do is listen.

As I always say, if it is not one thing, it is a whole lot of other things. This is just another big issue I have to deal with, but one I do not know how to deal with.

I am scared of the future implications this is going to have now. I am praying but am sure unless God wipes it all off from the Internet now.... someone will find me online and it will cause drastic problems later.
Some job applications asked if the applicant was ever convicted of a crime. Some job applications asked if the applicant was ever arrested. Probably better to tell the truth. Am not sure they would want to fire a good worker with no convictions anyway.

If the charges were dropped (nolle prosequi), some states will allow someone to file a request to have the arrest record expunged.
 
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I am glad at least I do not have to selected, "have you ever been convicted."

I always prided myself of never being in jail (something woman always admire of a man).

That sounds really shallow. You don't want those kinds of women in your life anyways.

I wouldn't worry too much about getting arrested and having your mugshot out there somewhere. Google tries to hide mugshot industry stuff in their searches, and hopefully in the future the law will tighten down on that racket. It's not the end of the world, even if it seems horrible right now.
 
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