I have a question

[Lanae]

Do u think it’s rude when people never invite the new friend to hang out when the new friend just them for the first time?

Like Korean American churches I went to, they never invited me to hang out with them after I met some people there. They should’ve asked about my hobbies and common interests. It’s too late now. They should’ve asked me that when I first met them, not wait for me to ask them about it. They're just very selfish and ignorant. they just want to only just white people, Asians, and black men. Every time I meet someone and I ask them can I hang them and their friends, they would say no and not invite me. So mean!!! I just want to get out of the house and make some memories with some friends!!!! Every time I see their pictures of them hanging out with their friends on Social Media, I would leave a comment and say "I want to hang out, too!" and they just ignored my comment. They never ask me if I want to hang out with them. I don't know what's their problem

I think it’s rude when people never invite a new friend to hang out when the new friend just met them for the first time.

 

[Swan7]

I'd have to say go to another church where you are included because it's clear they aren't following Christ in that way. Christ chose sinners as His disciples and friends to show His people how they should have been.

It's probably a better idea to not follow them on Social Media either because it seems like you are tormenting yourself, and looks to them as if you are desperate.

Personally, friends have come and gone in my life and all of them were not ever my friend to begin with as they showed their true colours. Christ came into the world as hated while His sheep loved Him, and still do to this day. So too do we follow in His footsteps by being hated by many - even by those that claim Christ.
I don't say all this to discourage, but to shed Truth of how my life has reflected Him in this way. Not saying that this is how your life will be at all, but rather to remember: John 15:18-25

I do suggest going to God first and foremost with any problem you face, and never forget to praise Him.

 

[splish- splash]

Im sorry this has happened. Do they not have something similar to a suggestion box? So that you can, politely state such things, inorder for them to improve.

 

[Lanae]

Im sorry this has happened. Do they not have something similar to a suggestion box? So that you can, politely state such things, inorder for them to improve.

Idk they should’ve asked me what my hobbies are instead of just standing there or sitting there looking at me.

 

[Joyous Song]

I fell in love with our congregation because after the mass, no one wants to leave. They stand around and talk. During covid they still did, wearing masks and standing 6 feet apart. This is what a church should be like. Loving each other is the starting point of all social acts and concerns.

Your parish lacks this clearly, so like other I say start looking elsewhere. They show signs of a dying faith anyway and will likely close in a few years. Clicks in Churches often bring death to them.

 

[PeterJames0510]

I fell in love with our congregation because after the mass, no one wants to leave. They stand around and talk. During covid they still did, wearing masks and standing 6 feet apart. This is what a church should be like. Loving each other is the starting point of all social acts and concerns.

Your parish lacks this clearly, so like other I say start looking elsewhere. They show signs of a dying faith anyway and will likely close in a few years. Clicks in Churches often bring death to them.

Me on the other hand, while invest much of myself into friendships - I have no real close friendships simply because my expectations are way too high. I of course know this about myself, so I don't attach to people because of that.

Further, my New England mindset is - please don't make me stay after church to talk to you. It's a drain on me emotionally and I really just want to hang by myself. No offense ... people are different and overly friendly churches aren't for everyone.

 

[Joyous Song]

Me on the other hand, while invest much of myself into friendships - I have no real close friendships simply because my expectations are way too high. I of course know this about myself, so I don't attach to people because of that.

Further, my New England mindset is - please don't make me stay after church to talk to you. It's a drain on me emotionally and I really just want to hang by myself. No offense ... people are different and overly friendly churches aren't for everyone.

JS: I’m an extreme introvert as well (Assertive; Intuitive; Introverted; Thinking; Prospector- Logician). Like you, social groups exhaust me and I need down time afterward. Yet, as a wife of a priest, and a talkative introvert, I need to be there and so I am. I know these people as well and that helps.

For one thing, I can side step those who gossip, talk of sports and latest fad, and hit more intuitive thinkers in the crowd. I also find my wide breath of knowledge can be helpful to people struggling with issues I’ve studied or gone through myself or can see solutions for.

I learned to read body language because of my learning disability and can discern something of a person from looking into their eyes. The eyes really are windows into the soul. So I can even assess stranger and react accordingly.

Still, I’m alone before Mass and only socialize afterward. If I grow overwhelmed I can step away and get some work done. No one would think less of me. Most know I’m an introvert and most accept that in me. Those that won’t just have to deal with it as its not like we can change ourselves. Introversion is inborn and visible at birth or a few hours after birth.

Also our church really isn’t defined as a “Friendly Church” though most are friendly, its called a Family Church, and ours really is. Still, there are Community Churches and one other I can’t remember. Likely that what your church is and if your happy there, stay there. I really think HaShem created many different Churches so that all His children would feel at home somewhere.

 

[deanerenata32]

Well, I am an introvert and I have mental disabilities and I don't talk a whole lot in real life, I am actually the quiet child. All I am saying is maybe those people have stuff wrong with them too? Maybe you shouldn't be so quick to judge. Maybe they can't help it like me.