I'm hearing a lot of things that sound like it would be hard for this to work out - you don't seem to have a lot of intimacy (you don't sleep together when you aren't having sex, you don't hang out together or do things together), your lives don't seem to be pulling in the same direction (you are Christian, she is not, you have no shared interests, you like and hate completely different things), and your instinct is that a marriage would not last. Did I get that right? When you say "I feel miserable about it", are these the things you feel miserable about?
You got it right about my insticts yes. And yes those things are the major reason for me feeling miserable. It feels like a dead-end and I'm starting to think that maybe i wanted her just because i wanted to have sex with her, not because she is a person like me. But some of the problem is also that i like her personality, she got things that i lack. She got her feet on the ground and that makes me feeling the same. I did a lot of drugs before i met her, so I am afraid when if i will get back to being alone again i will start with the drugs again, cause then i dont have the same responibility.
So I'm not sure what to do, if i should ask for prayer to help the relationship or if i should just do what i feel like. I'm not the kind of guy to end a relationship unless its 100% clear that it will never work out.
How are you at giving and receiving caring with each other? You say you get along well and rarely argue - does that mean you spend time together and enjoy it, or that you rarely argue because there is little connection? What is your relationship like when you are getting along well? How are you two as parents to your son?
We do hug and kiss sometimes and some days the relationship feels good, but it seems those days are getting more rare now. I think the lack of arguments is mostly because we leave each other alone. When we do argue it is mostly about the housework. I make all the food, do all the shopping, take out the garbage, do almost all the cleaning and she washes the clothes and take the kid to kindengarten when she go to work in the mornings. So basically the cleaning is the biggest arguments. But I dont think any of us are really happy. She used to seem like a more healthy girl before we got togheter, now all she does when she get home from work is to watch soap-operas and eat snacks. She used to be really thin, but not shes getting really over-weight. I think both of us are pretty weary from our child. He has had problems with eating since he got born. First he refused to drink milk from her, cause he got born pretty dramatically and spent some days apart from her, then he got allergic to the normal milk-supstitutes from the stores, and got under-weight and weak, and when he started eating normal food he almost didnt want anything. We been to lots of doctors, but they havent figured out anything. And I have been thinking maybe he is depressed or something, because I am. I'm using medication to keep my mind stable and i got lots of anxety. I think my girlfriend got lots of problems from the past too, she told she got bullied in school, but never told anything more about it and never want to talk about her emotions. So i feel i cant reach her, and even if i want to sort things out i only meet a wall.
If you weren't a Christian, would the relationship still feel wrong? If you weren't having sex, how much of a relationship would still be there?
As i said in the first post, me beeing a christian is not something is feel it is right for me to use in this descition, it might be right when you think theology, but its not morally right. And yes, i guess the relationship would be better if I were a non-beliver. We would probably get along better, like it is now it feels like shes afraid of christianity and i cant really speak about it, cause she just thinks its stupid.
Without the sex we would be like room-mates that sometime gave each other a hug. And i guess we would get along better that way, cause then at least we could do what we wanted and live more free.
But anyway, sorry for the long post, if you had a relationship like this what would you do?
