I feel lost..

[Sophie90]

I've been "friends with benefits" with this guy for a while, but recently I realized that this isn't how God wants me to live my life at all, and so I told my friend I didn't want to continue.
Only problem is, I still feel used, but without the intimacy I also feel unwanted and lonely. All I want is to live my life the way God wants me to, but it feels like I've let him down so many times he doesn't care about me anymore, but I know he does, so why can't I feel him around me anymore?

Is there anyone here who can help me? I just want to get my life back on the right path..

 

[Habakk]

Let me reassure you that God loves and cares for you. The feelings you have are normal especialy when you feel you have let God down. Consider David he let God down, as we all do sometimes, but he kept short accounts with God. He repented and placed himself on the mercy of God.

How did God sum up David's life? God annointed him as king, looked upon him with great favour, and David still let him down. David made the account short put things right with God, repented and God recorded him as being "a man after his own Heart." What a great commendation.

You desire to put things behind you and follow after God. You are now highly favoured in God's sight. God regards you as his daughter.

Put your faith in that knowlege that you are forgiven because anything less is an affront to the cross.

I pray that God will bless you and restore your confidence in that knowlege.

 

[SharonL]

You don't feel God around you because you are condeming yourself. Just repent and ask for forgiveness, then see yourself as God sees you - covered by the blood of Jesus, your sins remembered no more - they are in the lake of forgetfulness.

You are feeling used because you were - you both used each other - that is over and you don't have to let yourself be used anymore - you can have good relationships and have fun without the 'benefits.'

Just put your hand in the hand of Jesus and let the Holy Spirit guide you and God will send your mate to you. You are doing great to have recognized that this kind of relationship is not what God has for us. You will be fine, forgive yourself and go forward with the joy of the Lord in your life and ask God what He would have you do for Him as His servant - we are all servants. Blessings.

 

[If Not For Grace]

You really have not lost anything; (u can't loose what you never had) it just feels
like a loss when we experience disappointment. Be Thankful you realized and turned from your mistake before there were more serious consequences (like an unplanned pregnancy or STD)

Choose your inner circle carefully-you are valuable and even though we are tempted w/Loneliness, we must realize our mates must be scrutinized and chosen with care.

Make a list of minimum cahracteristics you require in a mate and position yourself
accordingly. Do not compromise the most important relationship in your life just for
a night of companionship or two. Good for you for making the hard and right choice.

 

[bsd31]

... it feels like I've let him down so many times he doesn't care about me anymore...

You have been lied to by the enemy of your soul. Here is some truth for you to consider.

(1 Peter 1:3 - ESV)Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead

(Lamentations 3:22-23 - KJV)It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.

(Romans 8:38-3 - NIV)For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

(Psalm 103:11-13 - ESV) For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. As a father shows compassion to his children, so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him.

 

[SplendidTree]

First of all, I applaud you on making serious moves in your life to honor God's commands. You are doing the right thing. That being said, doing the right thing is not always easy and the enemy is going to keep trying to get you to do the wrong thing.

Secondly, sometimes we like attention and it makes us "feel loved" but you can't always trust "feelings." Keep seeking the Lord and He will fill you with love. I also believe when the time is right, He will bring you a wonderful man to spend the rest of your life with.

In closing, I am praying for you sister. PM me anytime.

Colleen

 

[Christopher0121]

I've been "friends with benefits" with this guy for a while, but recently I realized that this isn't how God wants me to live my life at all, and so I told my friend I didn't want to continue.
Only problem is, I still feel used, but without the intimacy I also feel unwanted and lonely. All I want is to live my life the way God wants me to, but it feels like I've let him down so many times he doesn't care about me anymore, but I know he does, so why can't I feel him around me anymore?

Is there anyone here who can help me? I just want to get my life back on the right path..

I think you just need to adjust your thinking (called repentance). You're trying to find the deep and intimate love and affection you need from this friend of yours. I don't doubt your friendship was beautiful in many ways and that you enjoyed one another. However, it's not God's will that you subject yourselves to sin to find the love and acceptance that can only come from God.

I fear you have an unbiblical concept of God. God is MORE loving and MORE unconditional than your earthly "friend"... even with the "benefits". God LOVES you. Your identity is in Christ alone. You're a partaker in the divine nature of Christ through the Holy Ghost... though you (and I) are unworthy. I believe that if you truly realized how much God loves you and how much God desires to be close to you... and how close He is even right now... you'd feel greater peace. Don't fear that you've let God down too many times. God knew every trip, stumble, and fall you'd ever make when He called you into the body of Christ. Jesus died to satisfy God's anger and wrath against your sin (and my sin) so that God is justified in maintaining His relationship with us... and not vaporizing us on account of His justice. God loves you... even with the sins of the past, the sins of today, and know this... the sins of the future. Think about it... how many of your sins were still yet future when Jesus died for you??? All of them. If the cross cannot forgive even future sin... we're all doomed... because all of our sins were yet future when Jesus died for them.

Readjust your thinking about God and grace. And allow God to conform you into the image of Jesus. Did you know that's God ultimate plan for you? It's not "Heaven"... it's not "being a better you". God's plan is to conform you into the image of Jesus. Allow JESUS to live His life out through you day by day. Be ONE with Him. Breathe Jesus. Allow Him to be your very breath. God is nearer to you than you know. Sin has just created a smoke screen that you can't see through to know God is so close. Sin is bringing static to the frequency on which God desires you to communicate to Him.

Let's face something here... if you're born again... you have a NEW NATURE. You were acting out of accordance to your new nature. That's where the stress, guilty, and conviction came from. It was a war inside. Your spirit is sanctified through the impartation of the Holy Ghost... but your carnal mind (the mind of your flesh that thinks like a fallen human being) was still thinking with the old paradigm that was alienated from God. And it's still at work telling you that God doesn't love you. The world, the flesh, and the devil are all liars. The flesh THINKS it's you. So it whispers things like, "I don't feel like God can love me anymore." But your spirit is troubled by the statement because it still feels God's drawing. The war is on. And you should be ENCOURAGED by the war. Because it takes TWO sides to wage war. Obviously your spirit is standing with a desire and sense that God loves and is drawing you... but it's that old carnal mind (carnal, human reasoning) that is so easily enfluenced by the flesh and the devil that is feeling alienated from God and unloved. And so these emotions are coming. DON'T BELIEVE THEM. Frankly, the flesh will always feel condemned... because flesh CAN'T please God. You have to walk in the Spirit and allow what God says about your identity to conform you thinking. In God's sight... you are a beloved child of Heaven. In God's sight you have the imputed sinlessness of Jesus. In other words... when God looks at you... it's as though you never sinned.

So now God therefore... walk in the Spirit and don't listen to your flesh. Read the Bible and it's promises to you, a saint of God. Allow what God says about you to conform your identity... until you are conformed into the very image and likeness of Jesus.

God bless.

 

[Christopher0121]

P.S.

Don't focus so much on DOING the right thing to please God. Doing the right thing doesn't please God (see the Pharisees). BEING the right thing pleases God. Think about it... a sapling oak tree doesn't produce fruit immediately and isn't very impressive is it? But it's still an oak! Be what you are in Christ. See yourself as the new creation He has made you. The behaviors and "doing" will follow naturally, and often without effort.

BE an extension of Jesus. Don't just try to do the right thing. Allow your identity and self to die (be crucified with Christ) and allow Jesus to fill you until you are lost in His identity. Until it is no longer you who lives... but Christ who lives in you.

Don't focus on DOING... focus on BEING.

 

[visionary]

Leave the feelings out of it, move ahead with purpose. You are dwelling too much on feelings and are letting them control your life. God never intended feelings to rule.