i drink too much.

[nataliexcore]

i guess this is more of a vent so i'll feel marginally less horrible. any stories, advice, prayers would be fab. =]





so, i've been trying to cut back on drinking. before i was saved... i used to be pretty freaking bad. i did a lot of drugs, partied all the time regardless of the day of the week, skipped school, etc etc. i've cut almost all of it out of my life (minus cigs and alcohol).

but last night everyone forced me to come out and party.
im pretty sick with a chest cold and stayed in friday night for that reason.
but upon everyone's urging i sucked it up and went out anyway.
and the night was just, awful.

for starters, i drank far too much and far too quickly. (i know my limits but i was already grumpy from being sick and just wanted to get to the point where i didnt care. BIG MISTAKE)

and i blacked out for the first time. ever.

and it's not REALLY that bad, but i was just completely awful to EVERYONE. i was a mean drunk. which is nothing like me... im usually painfully happy and bubbly.

but i was mean to EVERYONE. my brother, his wife, my best friend, and two of my other friends. they all had a consensus that i was acting completely stupid and rude.
i've never in my life had so many people mad at me. i've never in my life felt so stupid and disgusted with myself and guilty.

i don't think i could quit drinking entirely.. i highly enjoy it.. to be honest. but for the FIRST time in my life i think i could go to a party and stay completely or almost completely sober and still have a good time.

the funny thing is, lately God's been i guess "telling" me to stop? i basically was like "haaa, in time" and not really taking Him seriously. but i still asked for His help in stopping this stuff i know i shouldnt be doing.

and then this happens. i turned into a totally different person. worse than usual.

and i honestly think it scarred me enough to stay away from the bottle.

sigh. i called everyone and apologized. nobody answered their phones. i had to leave voicemails... which makes me feel even worse cos i know they saw me calling and ignored it. ugh. i prayed and even apologized to God cos i know He's disappointed with me. can't say i blame Him....

what should i do? please don't look down upon me, i know drinking in excess (or even i general at my age) isn't the best thing ever. i already feel so guilty i want to cry. ugh. please pray for me?

thanks. if you read all that you get a gold star. or three.

 

[TheMainException]

Yo yo...chill down...not everyone on here is nasty...there are a bunch, but I don't think you'll find most of them here. I've been where you're at...I've never been a nasty drunk, but I've blacked out...done it twice...it's changed me both times...the one time the most because I was flailing around in my room with my very christian roommate and ended up knocking down a closet door, throwing up in my shoes, pants, and pajamas and scaring her to death. I have no clue what happened that night though...it's gone from my mind...and I had a LOT of alcohol.

Listen, these people that you hang out with...they are your best friends, family, near family...they know you pretty well, they know you aren't like that. They know you were sick and didn't want to come. They know that they pushed you to come out to the party. They shouldn't be holding grudges, or making you feel like a complete jerk. Blacking out happens. You won't be able to convince them of this, you can just be remorseful and apologetic and be sure they know you are sorry. After that, there is nothing more you can do.

They will come around, give them some time and let them come around. They are going to be a bit ticked that you were a mean drunk. It's now up to you to come forward and act responsible about your future drinking. You have to decide, either to keep drinking at the same pace or stop. It will get worse unless you really real it in and decide what your limits are. It's easier to say none cuz it's very easy to get carried away once you're had a certain amount. But try going to a party some time and having ONE drink. Yes, one. Try it. Try it for five parties. Find a limit that you are okay with and STICK TO IT. If you can't stick to it, either cut it back or don't go to parties. You have to know yourself and how you will act. If you know that once you have that first drink, you must have a second and then a third and so on, don't do it. If the only point is to get plastered, then don't go. Find your enjoyment from your friends and family. Make it a point to have a good time with little or no alcohol. Just carry it around in a cup and take little sips every half hour.

You get a cold star or three if you read all that.

 

[Mela'h]

Praying for you Nat <3 Nothing wasted if you learn from it sweety.....I've been there, lived through it and now using it for something good. Give it to your Father in heaven who watches over you and loves you more than you can imagine. As His child, you deserve better Nat. Don't settle for ordinary things.

 

[shakenfruit]

I know exactly how you feel about blacking out and being cruel. It's horrible having to apologize and feel guilt for things you did or said that you don't even remember. The best you can do is apologize and chalk it up to a lesson learned and hopefully it won't happen again. And try to be really strict with yourself at parties, knowing your limit and exercising control over that limit are two different things.

 

[celticfan83]

i don't think i could quit drinking entirely.. i highly enjoy it.. to be honest. but for the FIRST time in my life i think i could go to a party and stay completely or almost completely sober and still have a good time.

This is going to sound odd as far as a response goes

If the reason you feel the need to drink is because of your friends then get different friends. Yeah that is easier said than done but you get my drift. You can offer to be the DD if need be.
Second if the people you hang out with only like you when your drinking then what kind of friends are they. I have on many occasion had one to many and called my friends for a ride or asked them to be DD. They have always accepted this request. As I have for them.
The long and the short of it is if the people you hang out with only want to see you get wasted and make a fool of your self then they are not your friends.

 

[justanobserver]

i drink too much.

i guess this is more of a vent so i'll feel marginally less horrible. any stories, advice, prayers would be fab. =]





so, i've been trying to cut back on drinking. before i was saved... i used to be pretty freaking bad. i did a lot of drugs, partied all the time regardless of the day of the week, skipped school, etc etc. i've cut almost all of it out of my life (minus cigs and alcohol).

but last night everyone forced me to come out and party.
im pretty sick with a chest cold and stayed in friday night for that reason.
but upon everyone's urging i sucked it up and went out anyway.
and the night was just, awful.

for starters, i drank far too much and far too quickly. (i know my limits but i was already grumpy from being sick and just wanted to get to the point where i didnt care. BIG MISTAKE)

and i blacked out for the first time. ever.

and it's not REALLY that bad, but i was just completely awful to EVERYONE. i was a mean drunk. which is nothing like me... im usually painfully happy and bubbly.

but i was mean to EVERYONE. my brother, his wife, my best friend, and two of my other friends. they all had a consensus that i was acting completely stupid and rude.
i've never in my life had so many people mad at me. i've never in my life felt so stupid and disgusted with myself and guilty.

i don't think i could quit drinking entirely.. i highly enjoy it.. to be honest. but for the FIRST time in my life i think i could go to a party and stay completely or almost completely sober and still have a good time.

the funny thing is, lately God's been i guess "telling" me to stop? i basically was like "haaa, in time" and not really taking Him seriously. but i still asked for His help in stopping this stuff i know i shouldnt be doing.

and then this happens. i turned into a totally different person. worse than usual.

and i honestly think it scarred me enough to stay away from the bottle.

sigh. i called everyone and apologized. nobody answered their phones. i had to leave voicemails... which makes me feel even worse cos i know they saw me calling and ignored it. ugh. i prayed and even apologized to God cos i know He's disappointed with me. can't say i blame Him....

what should i do? please don't look down upon me, i know drinking in excess (or even i general at my age) isn't the best thing ever. i already feel so guilty i want to cry. ugh. please pray for me?

thanks. if you read all that you get a gold star. or three.

Hi natalie. The first step in getting help is to ask, which can be the hardest step. You did that here. I will pray for you but you need to take action - I am posting a link that is in the Alcohol Abuse sticky area that has links for recovery, help, etc.

One program I highly recommend is called Celebrate Recovery.

It is a christian recovery that (depending on size, who all is there, etc) will be for the alcholic, addict, etc. Depending, again, on the size of the group, there be people of all ages, christian and non but it is supportive and you will find folks there that will care and help you.

http://christianforums.com/showthread.php?t=6080657

 

[NewlyWife]

I just joined this forum today because I had an awful experience like yours this past weekend and am seeking similar support to what you need. I am 26 and I used to be like you- I drank too quickly and way too much. Eventually I began blacking out, too. So, I have been there. I even went back this past weekend and did horrible things. I know what you are going through.

The guilt is the worst part of it, isn't it? Feeling awful for what you said or did to people, feeling completely humiliated about what you did. What I have learned is that episodes like this are a major red flag. You are right, God wants you to stop. He is not showing you anything directly because you are choosing your actions, but because you have a relationship with Him you know what his message to you is right now. As someone in the same boat, I want to encourage you to follow that feeling for a while.

Of course it is difficult to say you will never drink again. As much as I want to say "I am never having alcohol again," I know that that is just not a realistic expectation of myself. If I make it off limits and then have a glass of wine, I know I will just see that as myself failing and use it as an excuse to go down the spiral again.

What I am going to do is lay off for the rest of the year. I know it will be hard around the holidays, but I've asked my mother to add some NA wine or sparkling grape juice and some NA beer to her Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner shopping lists. I'm going to stock my kitchen with some, too, so I can get used to it. Also, I'm going to talk to my husband whenever we are going out and decide on a time to leave the party- and then stick to it. Or, promise to be a DD. Also, I'm making a list of things I want to do with friends and family that I can replace our drinking activities with- including new restaurants, movies, hay rides, game nights, etc.

Even if you take only a month off of drinking, you will see a difference in the way you look at drinking. The challenge is when you start to allow yourself to drink again, and keeping it in control. If you're a person who is inclined to enjoy far too much (as I am), the hardest part is cutting yourself off when you really really want to keep going.

I pray that you find a way to be successful in your fight against this urge. I know how hard it is.