I don't want to live anymore.

I hate myself, I hate my sins and I am tired of failing, I will never be good enough, I keep on going moveing away from Him. I am so tired of all of this.
My life is falling apart and I have no one to blame but myself

AMHS24 said:

I hate myself, I hate my sins and I am tired of failing, I will never be good enough, I keep on going moveing away from Him. I am so tired of all of this.
My life is falling apart and I have no one to blame but myself

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I am very sorry that you feel that you no longer want to go on. I felt that way too when i experienced a really bad depression when i was between 17-21 years of age. I don't know how old you are, but i do know about depression. I tried to end my life on three different occassions during that time. I felt completely unloved and unlovable and could not imagine my life ever improving. But it did improve. Thanks be to God.

Please, before you do anything rash, seek the help of a professional who can help. I was never fortunate in those days to find anyone to help me through it all, but things have changed very much and these days there is a lot of support for people who are struggling with feelings of being overwhelmed by life.

Sometimes there are physical reasons why we feel quite low and it can be due to things like iron deficiency and such like so there may be a physical cause for why you are feeling so down, something that could be easily treatable. Alternatively, if you need help in dealing with your felings the doctor will be able to refer you to someone who can help you.

I know it feels like it's all too much, I truly do understand that...and when we believe in God, it can actually exacerbate those feelings of inferiority and weakness that we feel and we can be prone to really examining our sins in minute detail, and feeling the weight of our sin in an extraordinary way...a way that convinces is that we are beyond redemption, beyond God's love... but this is not what God asks of us or wants us to feel.

As a Catholic would you consider going to your parish priest (or finding a parish priest in your vicinity if you do not know one at present who you could call on) and sharing with him what you have shared with us?

A priest would be able to hear your confession and to absolve you of your sins and perhaps point you in the right direction of what help he would think would benefit you if you have a propensity to feeling quite low?

You will be in my prayers, but please please please, don't do anything rash. Life can get better, but it does require some effort on your part, but the good news is, it is worth it. I promise.

I have no advise to give you, I am sorry
you are in my prayers

Please seek some professional help as ukok has suggested.

A little help can work wonders

Trust in God - yes it's easy for me to say that , but please do. He has a plan worked out for you , you just haven't found it yet .

May Our Blessed Mother , Mary ever virgin , cover you with Her Mantle of Protection , keep you safe and lead you to Her Son

I have prayed for you.

It sounds as if you are ready to surrender. We're not in control. Surrender is a lifelong task, and most of us are imperfect at it, but if you are able to surrender your life to Jesus you are farther along than most of us. He will help you to recover from your problems.

Here's a beautiful song that means a lot to me.

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Chris Rice - Untitled Hymn (Come To Jesus) Lyrics [/FONT]​

Weak and wounded sinner
Lost and left to die
O, raise your head, for love is passing by
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus and live!

Now your burden's lifted
And carried far away
And precious blood has washed away the stain, so
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus and live!

And like a newborn baby
Don't be afraid to crawl
And remember when you walk
Sometimes we fall...so
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus and live!

Sometimes the way is lonely
And steep and filled with pain
So if your sky is dark and pours the rain, then
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus and live!

O, and when the love spills over
And music fills the night
And when you can't contain your joy inside, then
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus and live!

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Praying for you--and here if you want to talk. I am no substitute for the professsional help you need ---which PLEASE go seek out....but I am ever ready to listen.

I spent a lot of my life battling depression, a lot of my life not wanting to be alive...but my gracious I am so glad I hung in there. The joys which I have experienced within the midst of sorrows---I could have never, ever imagined.

One thing I want you to know is that Jesus loves us infinitely. That means that He can neither love us more or less--He doesn't love us more when we do good, He doesn't love us less when we fall. You are loved by Him infinetly and unconditionally--just as you are. Our fallings and failings in many ways are a GREAT thing, because if we don't allow them to lead us to despair-it helps us turn our eyes to God for help and forgiveness over and over again. Sainthood isn't not sinning-it's allowing Jesus to take our hand and to help us get back up each time we fall. Jesus doesn't ascend to Calvary without falling-but salvation comes because He gets up again and again.

You are loved--and I know you probably can't feel or experience that right now...but you are deeply and truly loved.

Lord have mercy... I know the feeling of trying to be better and failing. I know how frustrating it is and how bad the guilt is but it's not about success, it's about trying and not giving up hope. Despair is not from God but from the enemy. Hang on and seek professional help both clinical and spiritual.

AMHS24 said:

I hate myself, I hate my sins and I am tired of failing, I will never be good enough, I keep on going moveing away from Him. I am so tired of all of this.
My life is falling apart and I have no one to blame but myself

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We all feel like this from time to time. Struggling because we are 'not good enough' but the beauty of God is - He knows we aren't good enough, but He died for us anyway. He wants us anyway!


None of us can ever repay Him - but all He wants is our love and He will guide and carry us. He asks so little - so don't worry - just do the best you can.

I also suggest you forgive yourself and know that you are so not alone in this department of wanting to be better.

If I were you i would seek a counselor priest. Where i live they have a Catholic outreach program that has counselors. Ask your parish about this program....or just talk to the priest there to help you.

I thank the Lord all the time for wanting me for me, even tho I am just not worthy. He understands that and still forgives me and He never stops loving us.

brother, the Christian life is not about being perfect right away, it's about trusting in God's mercy and living by His strength, not ours.. He loves you just as you are, with sin and all. I fail all the time too, and yes we should try to do better, but God knows it is really difficult sometimes and He understands. He isn't blaming you for failing, but He wants to offer you some help..so that day by day, bit by bit, you'd learn to overcome sin and live according to God's will. But don't beat yourself up if you're not there yet, none of us are there, and the Saints struggled with all sorts of temptations and weaknesses too! It is not wrong to feel weak before God, in fact that is a good thing.
Do you remember the parable about the Pharisee and the tax collector, and how they were praying, and the sinful tax collector was the one justified before God because He prayed for mercy. Try to trust in God and don't beat yourself up about being a sinner, we all are, and God knows that! You said you're not good enough, but He doesn't wait for us to be good enough, He loves us where we are and is patient with us. So it's also good when we are patient with ourselves. God sees the future and all eternity and He already knows that one day we would have victory over sin and death, through the Cross...but the way we get there is a slow process and even if you don't see that much happening right now, trust in His mercy and keep on going.. try to rest in His peace, He does not want us to despair or lose hope in our journey, but to have confidence in Him.
I also agree with the others that maybe it would you to get some professional help or talk to a priest? Talk to somebody.. dont try to deal with all this all on your own. And if you need prayer we are here for you I know how it's like to feel depressed and to not want to live anymore, but please don't give up, God loves you so much and He won't ever turn away from you or reject you if you're looking for help and forgiveness.

God bless

Prayers for you.

AMHS24 said:

I hate myself, I hate my sins and I am tired of failing, I will never be good enough, I keep on going moveing away from Him. I am so tired of all of this.
My life is falling apart and I have no one to blame but myself

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Been there and done that, and learned that God's love is patient, (long suffering and merciful) but in order to that patience to show itself, we must persevere.


May you know God's peace as He moves in your life.

edit: oops, sorry, didn't realize it was catholic, I'm not so I posted out of turn, sorry again.

razzelflabben said:

Been there and done that, and learned that God's love is patient, (long suffering and merciful) but in order to that patience to show itself, we must persevere.


May you know God's peace as He moves in your life.

edit: oops, sorry, didn't realize it was catholic, I'm not so I posted out of turn, sorry again.

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You don't need to be Catholic to post an encouraging message to a fellow Christian.

ukok said:

You don't need to be Catholic to post an encouraging message to a fellow Christian.

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thanks, I needed that word of encouragement, but at the same time, I'm trying to follow the rules here.

razzelflabben said:

thanks, I needed that word of encouragement, but at the same time, I'm trying to follow the rules here.

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I don't know of any rule preventing a non Catholic posting in One Bread One Body, so i think you are doing just fine

Prayer sent for you.

Just take it a day at a time. Just enduring for a period can be a victory.

PLEASE, DON'T GIVE UP. I've been at that point myself more than once and it ALWAYS gets better. Please just let your spirit be still for awhile and don't try to do any more than you have to.

GOD KNOWS HOW HARD YOU"VE BEEN TRYING AND HE LOVES YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN POSSIBLY KNOW.

Know that your salvation does not depend on your ability to not sin. NO ONE can remain free of sin, only Jesus was capable of that.

Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us...

Titus 3:5 (King James Version)

1 Kings 8:46 There is no man that sinneth not.
2 Chronicles 6:36 There is no man which sinneth not.
Proverbs 20:9 Who can say, I have made my heart clean, I am pure from my sin.
Ecclesiastes 7:20 For there is not a just man upon earth, that doeth good, and sinneth not.
Romans 3:23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.
1 John 1:8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
1 John 1:10 If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

PLEASE DON'T LET DARKNESS WIN. GOD GAVE YOU LIFE AND JESUS DIED SO THAT YOU CAN HAVE ETERNAL LIFE.

AMHS24 said:

I hate myself, I hate my sins and I am tired of failing, I will never be good enough, I keep on going moveing away from Him. I am so tired of all of this.
My life is falling apart and I have no one to blame but myself

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AMHS, I am thinking of all the times in my life when I felt so unworthy of God, so unworthy to ever approach Him. Like you I thought I could never be good enough, and I was tired of always falling...

But one night the Lord spoke to me, and I would like to share what He said with you.

I had just put my baby down. He was seven months old, and so beautiful. I was watching him sleep--just loving him as I watched him. He was so precious. My eyes looked at every little finger, his little feet, his soft hair. I loved him so much I just ached inside.

Then I turned away and began to pray. I felt so unworthy, just like you. I asked the Father, "How can you love me?" At that moment God touched me. He said if I could love my baby so much, and I was a human mother, then consider how much more He loved me, for He was my heavenly Father, and He loved me and watched me with even more love than I had for my baby.

AMHS, God loves you too, so much that His heart aches when He sees you hurt. He loves you. Yes, He knows you mess up--we all mess up. But He still loves you.

Does a mother give up on a toddler because sometimes that toddler falls down? Does a father give up on his two-year-old because sometimes that two-year-old makes a mess? No, these human parents realize that their children will fall, and will makes messes, but they still love them.

God loves you. He loves you even when you are not perfect. He loves you even when you make a mess. He just simply loves you.

Be blessed, dear brother. I am praying for you.

AMHS24 said:

I hate myself, I hate my sins and I am tired of failing, I will never be good enough, I keep on going moveing away from Him. I am so tired of all of this.
My life is falling apart and I have no one to blame but myself

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I am bad at giving advice on this so the first thing I will say is to read what others have said here. It may not be enough of a consolation, let alone any consolation, but I feel this way all the time and every day. It's like you never know if you will ever know what it feels like to experience peace - like actual heaven where there is no sorrow. It's like the concept of peace and eternal serenity and absence of sorrow exists but it feels inconceivable that one may ever actually feel it someday - or that you somehow will be told my God that you can't go there. It's really scary. However - I have said this once somewhere - and it may be totally off-base but I think that the fact that you worry so much about this shows that a part of you cares about remaining as close as you possibly can to God. I don't know though. I don't want to say what others are thinking if they are truly not thinking those things, or put words into people's mouths.