I don't know what do (long post)

[aangel]

So I've been dealing with anxiety and depression for a while now and in the last month or so that put me on that path of religion. I grew up believing in God (my family believes in God) but we were never all that religious. My grandmother is, she's a Jehovah's Witness. And I just always thought that if I was ever be religious that was going to be the religion I chose. So last month I started reading stuff on their website trying to take baby steps because I didn't want to drive myself crazy by trying to be perfect or rush in to anything.

Anyway, I ended up finding a lot inconsistencies. Their blood transfusion ban for instance it didn't make sense to me. They have a no blood rule but blood fractions are allowed and everyone says it's a matter of conscience. Everywhere I looked on the subject just this never-ending mantra that it's matter of conscience. It was really irritating reading that. I checked the scripture on the subject it only talked about not eating blood nothing else. Then there was something else. Growing up I was always told that when you die your sins are forgiven and when I again checked the scripture it talked about dying in personality to sin. I was gobsmacked when I read that.

So it was last week that I went on this crazed search for the truth. I stayed up late searching through religions like a madwoman. I kept asking God what the truth was. And one of last thoughts I had before I found it was 'I might be confused but I'll never believe God is a trinity'. Shortly afterwards there was a site and it opened my eyes. I tried to deny, I really did. And now that I think about it there were sites before that one that confirmed the same thing but I ended up dismissing them.

I accepted Jesus (I still worry that I haven't been saved though). I've been trying to read the bible. But then I think about my family, the majority of them are not JWs (some are studying) they still grew up with those beliefs. It's been really hard for me. You don't realize how much something is ingrained into until you find out it's a lie. The Watchtower changed things in the New World Translation bible to fit their doctrine and completely misinterpreted scriptures. I've been praying to God about it. I tried talking to my mom about it but she just thinks I'm confused. And I know I can't push her. I can't push them (my grandmother has a been a JW since the 60s she's 83 now) I can't say that I blame my mom for feeling that way. Even though we are taking steps to deal with my anxiety and depression issues I've still been in a really bad place. I know that in this past month I've scared her.

Right now for instance, I have moments where I'm okay (I feel like I have faith) but I keep getting upset and that makes me feel guilty and worthless because I know you're supposed to love God the most. I'm trying really hard to get a grip. I just don't have anyone I can talk to about this my anxiety has kept me pretty isolated.

 

[Mediaeval]

Is contacting a Bible-believing pastor an option?

On salvation, it's not your love for the Lord that is the basis of assurance, but His love for us.

 

[1watchman]

Hello angel friend. I hope you get free of the JW religion and find life eternal in Jesus, the Christ of God, whom the JWs dismiss as a teacher of God only. Start reading your Bible --study John 1; John 3; John 14; John 17, and see what God is saying to you.

God has given us His Word and will hold us responsible for that (not the revised JW bible). I have known and trusted the Lord Jesus since 1954, and He is my best Friend, beside Savior of my soul forever. Write me anytime at my PM if you would like to talk.

 

[aangel]

Mediaeval
I'm not sure when I'll be able to find a church to find someone to talk to but hopefully it will happen soon. I didn't really go into any details but I told my older sister that we should go to church and she's open to the idea.

1watchman
I've pretty much denounced the JW religion. I'm actually surprised how fast I did it. I just feel really bad. They're are just so many nice people who are being deceived. When I think about how many people who have let themselves or their children die because they think that's what God wants them to do I just don't have any words for that right now. I just don't know what to do about my family though other than pray. This is all so new. But I have read John and I'm trying to make a habit of reading everyday.

 

[AWorkInProgress]

Hello aangel,

I read your post and I wanted to tell you how proud I am of the progress you been making. I plan on coming back later to see if I can help with your seeking of the truth.

My soul has been troubled and I found myself lead to this sermon. The more it speaks to me, the more I think of you. Between dead religion and intimate relationship with God. I know it's a big jump for you, especially since still searching for answers. I like to share it with you and encourage you to hang in there for at least first 20 minutes. I pray it encourages you too.

Td Jakes Something is about to Happen!!!!!! - YouTube

 

[AWorkInProgress]

double post, please delete mods

 

[aangel]

AWorkInProgress

Thank you for sending me this. Today has been kind rough and I just feel so emotionally depleted (last week I was all over the place) and it was a real struggle to read the bible. Then I got all in my head freaked out wondering if I was going to fall away from this like I've done a lot other things in my life. While another part of me was screaming 'Are you crazy hell is real, you have to change so they can see.' I'm in a place where if I'm worried I feel so bad and If I'm not I feel like garbage for not worrying. This kind of helped me a little.

 

[AWorkInProgress]

It blesses my heart to know it helped you.

From your response it sounds like a tug-o-war is going on in your heart. You want to do the right thing, but you feel horrible if you like to do something for yourself.

TD Jakes said that Samuel was called by God, but he had no knowledge who God is and he grew up in environment that spiritually dead. Things of God all over the place, but no one hearing God's voice. It wasn't Samuel's fault, just the world he was born into, and I see the same comparison with your life. You want something real and to do the right thing, but everything around you is dead. Out of the whole household of Eli, God only called one to hear his voice. God wanted to bring something new into a long dead situation. Sad thing is he could only use Samuel, because his heart had not been hardened.

You are Samuel, and you have been chosen by Jesus to bring a new move of God where you are. Family members won't understand it and if anything they will try to bring you down. Guard your heart and keep seeking the truth. Learn who God is, who he truly is, and learn to enjoy your relationship with God.

In my life, I hated myself and all the evil I did. I wanted something real in my life, but I was so powerless to make it happen. It wasn't till I got fed up with everything, and by the grace of God removed all the distractions in my life. I finally sat down, as you are now, and began to see if there is truth in Jesus, God of the Holy Bible. Today I am changed man, but it didn't come over night. Renewing of the mind and heart is a process, it takes seasons and trials to help melt away the impurities of the human heart. Each time I gave up on myself, and threw myself in the trash can, Jesus took it out and said, 'you don't see what I see.' 'I am not done with good work I am doing in you.' I can say without any doubt, that God has been the only person in my life that is truly for me. My father came and went, my Mom did what she could, but Jesus been my teacher and father. No matter what I faced, he has ALWAYS been there to rescue me and encourage me.

My prayer is you continue your journey to the truth. That you discovery what I have, and you begin to discover the joy of who God made you to be and your eternal relationship with him.

 

[aangel]

AWorkInProgress

Thanks again. Interestingly, enough my mother has always encouraged me to find my own path as far as religion is concerned. Which is why I was kind sad when she dismissed it (in a way I understand, I denied it too). But I wondered to myself how could she say that it was wrong when she hadn't even read the scriptures like I did? Even before I found out the truth I was reading to her out loud different scriptures that the Watchtower had taken out of context to fit their doctrine it didn't really register with her. I can't find in me to hold it against her though. My mother had a really difficult childhood and whenever she talks about having to study as a child she said she could never really focus on it. Even though she grew up with eight siblings the only person she's ever really relied on is on herself. So while she believes in God I don't think she's ever look toward him as someone who could help her. She did use to play gospel music when I was growing up but I can't remember the last time she played though. There use to so many Sundays where I would wake up to the music. But now she listens to Louise Hay new age type and I had no idea how bad that stuff was. I'm just trying to find the best way to learn everything I can about God and put it into action and I really want to help them too.

P.S This is kind off topic but I saw your location and it kind of made me laugh (which was a much needed distraction), When I was a teenager we lived in Goodyear for two years.

 

[graceandpeace]

It's hard to advise on what to do from here, but if you reject JW doctrine & believe in Jesus, your next step would be baptism. Baptism is the visible entry into the Church, where you are marked as Christ's own & identify with His death, burial, & resurrection in the baptismal waters. It is how you "officially" become a Christian in a sense.

That is a huge deal, & first you will likely want to find a Christian church considered orthodox & mainstream. Most churches will require you to go through some sort of classes or advisement before they will baptize you, though some may be more willing to baptize you in a hurry. I favor the slower approach - get to know the church, & if you choose to commit further you can inquire about baptism.

As far as suggesting a church, it is again difficult to advise since you are so new to belief. I personally attend the Episcopal Church, which is a mainline Protestant Christian church. What you may want to consider doing is to slowly research Christianity (history of the Church, early Church Fathers, the Nicene Creed, etc) to help you grow in understanding the faith & aid you in learning about different denominations that exist today.

Let us know if we can be of more help.

 

[Emmy]

Dear aangel. I don`t know why there are so many different beliefs, but I do know the Bible is God`s Word to us. In Matthew 22:35-40: Jesus tells us:
" The first and great Commandment is: Love God with all our hearts, with all our souls, and with all our minds. The second is like it: Love our neighbour as we love ourselves." Then Jesus points out: " On these two Commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets." Our neighbour is: all we know and all we meet, friends and not friends. In Matthew 7: 7-10: we are told: " ask and you
shall receive," we ask God for Love and Joy, then we thank God, and share all Love and Joy with our neighbour. We keep asking God for Love and Joy, then thank God and share it all with our neighbour. God will see our loving efforts, and God will approve and bless us. We might stumble and forget at times, but then we ask God to forgive us, and carry on loving and caring .
The Bible tells us to " Repent and to be Born Again," to change from being selfish and unloving, to be loving and caring. A Christian`s strong weapon is Love, with love we will overcome all envy and anger. We will turn into the men and women which God wants us to be: loving and caring and always ready to give a helping hand. (when needed)
Jesus our Saviour will help and guide us, JESUS IS THE WAY. When you accept the Lord Jesus as your Helper whenever you need Jesus, you will be saved. Jesus is not only The Way, Jesus is also The Life and The Truth.
I say this with love, aangel. Greetings from Emmy, your sister in Christ.

 

[Peripatetic]

Welcome aangel! Don't be in too much of a hurry. Every one of us is still learning and growing and trying figure things out. It's a journey with lots of ups and downs. Think of it this way: God hears our prayers and knows our hearts and motivations - even when we are confused or see Him through a distorted lens.