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I dont know if I am grieving normally

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Beautiful Fireball

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Last Wednesday (november 29) my grandma passed away very suddenly. I had seen her the previous Sunday and she seemed fine. Well on Wednesday she either had a massive heart attack or stroke and was gone even before she had finished falling. When I first found out I was completely devastated, she was like a parent to me. I didnt have just a grandma-grandaughter relationship with her, i considered her one of my best friends. But it scares me because I dont think that it has fully hit me yet that I am not going to be seeing her again. I mean my head knows it but it still seems like my heart is denying it. Like, I was crying all the time the first day, but now I am hardly crying at all, and when I think about it I don't necessarily feel a sadness, but instead a numbness. I don't know if this is normal, this is the first person close to me I have ever lost. It still seems like I am in denial about the whole thing, and i am not letting myself fully feel what has happened. Is this normal?
 

Nilla

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c1ners said:
I'm sorry about your grandma.

Everyone grieves differently. For some the process is long, while for others it is short. There is no right or wrong way. The way you feel is normal for you.
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I agree!



God is with ya girl!
 
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Amin

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Hi,
I was wondering how you were getting along.
By all means know that all people do grieve differently.
They say the average is about one year. So allow yourself time to heal.
And yes it is normal to feel numb.
I pray for the God of comfort to be with you.
Bless You.
Chuck.
 
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Beautiful Fireball

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Hi, thanks for the concern
I have not been doing that well the past couple of days. The numbness is starting to wear off and I am feeling the full pain of losing her. My grandmother was like a mom to me, so it really is like losing a parent. I think that the fact that the holidays are fast approaching compounded with the fact that I have been practically alone the past week (I am usually surrounded by people) has just made it worse. Please keep me in your prayers, I know God is by my side and I do feel His presence, but it really hurts right now
 
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c1ners

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Praying that God keep you in his loving arms until this trying time has past.
 
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Amin

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The numbness wearing off is normal.
You loved your grandmother very much. You're bound to feel the pain of loss. I guess all i can say is allow yourself to feel the loss. Cry if you have to, or whatever it is that you feel. I cried like a baby about 3 months after my mom died. I couldn't stop, but i knew i had to do it.
I will continue to pray for you.
Holding Gods' hand thru the whole thing helps too. God sees your need
and will be with you. All I've ever prayed during these times was
God help me. ...
May God be your strength.
Chuck.
 
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Beautiful Fireball

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c1ners said:
Praying that God keep you in his loving arms until this trying time has past.
Click to expand...


Thank you guys very much for the prayers!
 
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rushingwind62

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I agree with the others, there is no normal way to grieve. We all go through a range of emotions but the emotions and duration varies. Sometimes it is a quick process and other times it can take years and counseling to get through it. NOt to mention some people deal with death better than others. By that I mean they accept it more easily. If you feel you aren't grieving then I would recommend seeing a grief counselor to help you work through it....God Bless You.
 
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Mling

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While, true, there is no "normal" way to grieve, what you're experiencing is, I think, common and not at all unhealthy. When somebody is that close, and the death so unexpected, there is just no way to feel it all at once. I know I've experienced one unexpected death of somebody close, and I remember I kept feeling like I was starting to move through the grief, and then it would sink in deeper and I would feel it on another level. People I've talked to have said similar things--that the feelings will come and go and change over time.

I apologize for being able to think of something "proper" to wish you--Peace will come eventually, but is probably unthinkable at the moment; strength isn't really a blessing in something like this. I do hope you have people you can talk to if you need, and just be with if you don't want to talk.
 
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Katieg

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It has been 11 years since I lost my mother and I have realized that this grief never will go away – it will just change over time. And it takes a long time – not what everyone else would like it to take – like a month or two!!!! What is wrong with these people who do not understand the pain that is involved with this process. I finally found a book on Amazon.com that really helped. It was an easy read and seemed to “speak” to me and made me understand that what I went through was the “norm” and I was not abnormal or nuts!! It talked about the culture we live in as well and why it makes things so difficult.
The name of the book was Baby Boomers Face Grief but it talked generally about grief and a little bit about why this will be so hard for Baby Boomers.
 
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