I can feel it coming...

[Living for Him]

When I was 17, I was baptized in the Holy Spirit, and was given a prayer language.As some say,"speaking in tongues". I only chose not to use that term here, because of some reactions I may get.

In the last 4 months, since I have been born again, I have often longed for that closeness I had when I had that gift given to me back 12 years ago.

In the last week, I can feel something down deep when I pray. My praying has become so intense at times, and I feel something churning in me. I believe it is my old friend, longing to come out again. I feel it, but it feels sort of out of reach, and I feel frustrated at times. And I feel like there is something in me , keeping me from being all that I can be in Jesus.

Is it possible, that because I am afraid of the reaction I will get from my husband, that something in me is holding it back, without even my being totally aware of that?

I just need some prayer, because I am feeling very restless, frustrated, and edgy...like I'm on the brink of something big, and not sure what it is, or where it will lead me...Will you please pray for me and offer any advice you may have to me?

Thankyou all, Lori

 

[Redeemed1]

Hi Lori! I have experienced that feeling of "something big, just out of reach" myself, and still have it often. In my case, I believe it has to do with my church being on the brink of revival breaking out, which I and others have been praying for for years. The only thing I've ever been able to do with that "feeling" is to press into prayer, because (in my own experience), that feeling has actually been a burden to pray, given by the Lord. Is this making any sense? As for praying in tongues...perhaps for now you could pray in that manner only when you are alone. ?

 

[GraftMeIn]

Hi Lori,
You know, I think sometimes we do let our husbands hold us back. I was what you might call luke warm for the longest time. I knew there was a God, prayed alot, but never showed it in any way to other people. When I got married, I made sure my husband at least believed in God, I didn't concern myself too much with if he followed Gods word or not. When I decided to once again draw closer to God, or more in a sense I felt him calling me back to him. I decided that I needed to read my Bible all the way through from beggining to end. So I could have a better understanding of it. My first instinct was to hide the fact I was even reading it from my husband. Then after thinking about it, I thought hiding it would do me no good. When My husband saw me reading it, his first words were, Oh No! you're reading the Bible, You're not going to go turning religious on me are you? I simply answered him back, Why? are you going to divorce me if I do? Then he said. You know, I would never divorce you. After that he would ask me what page I was on every night, and actually started asking me what I had learned, and even wanted me to give him a sermon lol!

As for spiritual gifts, I still hide mine from my husband somewhat, I'm not sure why, but think it stems from when I was young, I allowed my brother to snuff out my gift, before I even relized what it was. I had it, I used it, my brother teased me about it. I would write little poems, and rhymes, about God, and my brother always every time I wrote something would tell me that it had already been written before, and accused me of stealing what I had written from someone else. So I was convinced somehow that maybe what I wrote had been written before, that maybe somehow I subconsciously got it from something that I read, and I shouldn't write anything anymore. I think we hide our gifts sometimes out of fear of rejection from certain people, and who wants to face rejection from their own husband.

I don't think we ever lose our gifts, I think we simply stop using them. To find them again is a wonderful thing. even if we must use them in secret sometimes, they're still there with us, and we must learn to use them the way God wants us to.

The spirit inside me also feels restless, but I think it is not so much the gift, as it is that I know God has called me back to him, and is working in my life in so many ways right now. I also know that my husband wants to make sure he goes to heaven, so I also know that God is working in his life also, and I know he will be lead to the lord, there realy isn't much he would need to change in his life, other than being worried about what others might think. I also think that part of the restless feeling many are having right now is due to the fact that the Lord will be returning sooner than most of us think. I feel he is right at the door, and we are being prepared for his return.

I'll be praying that God gives us all the courage, and strength we need to use and share our gifts with others.

Your gift is still there Lori, just waiting for you to reach out and embrace it once again I pray you'll find the courage to do so.

 

[Living for Him]

Thankyou. You have no idea how much your words mean to me. As I sit here crying, because I heard and know the truth to your words , I just want to say "thankyou," because I needed to hear someone say that. And I can't write anymore right now, because the words aren't there. Thankyou.And thanks for the prayers!

Living for Him, Lori

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Hey little lady!
I say get jiggy with it.
*dances*

 

[altya]

Hi Lori, the same happed to me after I was filled with the Holy Spirit. I struggle to get a breakthrough for 10 years. Go to a place where you are alone and where you will feel free to pray, or to cry as hard as you like without disturbing anyone.

What I do, is to sing on my own and let the Holy Spirit guide me. This is a very easy way to ‘enter the throne room’ to hear from God. You just keep on praying until you get your breakthrough.


Father I raise Lori up in prayer, to You Lord for a personal touch, fill her up Lord Jesus to over flow. Bless her in her ministry and stir up the gifts in her that You placed there before the foundations of the Universe. Let her grow to her full potential and Glorify You Lord Jesus. Bless her and her family, God and may she always walk in favor with You and amongst men in Jesus name - Amen

 

[Living for Him]

Thankyou for your beautiful prayer Altya.Today has been a good day, I am seeking his face, and I know good things will happen in His time.

 

[amie]

Hi Lori,
I am so happy to see you filled with the holy spirit. That is an awesome thing, you are in my prayers always...
Amie

 

[Living for Him]

Thanks Amy...you're such a sweetheart, Godbless you!

Workin on it Mr.Cheese!