I can’t live like this.

[SeekingGloryOnThisJourney]

Since about March 28th, I’ve been having intrusive thoughts about someone. But those intrusive thoughts were all fears.
“You’re worshipping them.”
“You want to hurt them.”
They’re your god.”
“They’re gonna hurt you.”
I don’t know what to do. I love this person, fellowship-wise, but I’ve never relied on them for happiness, never wanted our friendship more than God. On my thoughts though... that’s different. I have so many intrusive thoughts about them it’s paralyzing me. I don’t know if I made an idol. I’ve only ever desired God, His Ways, and His plans. But now I can’t see memories clearly. I can’t live like this. When I see my friend again, I don’t even know if I should look at them. I’m so ashamed of myself. I don’t want an idol.
I can’t get rid of these thoughts. I don’t want to dwell on my friend; only God. And in the back of my mind are always these fears. I am unable to get professional advice. Please give your own. God’s Blessings.

 

[Michie]

Since about March 28th, I’ve been having intrusive thoughts about someone. But those intrusive thoughts were all fears.
“You’re worshipping them.”
“You want to hurt them.”
They’re your god.”
“They’re gonna hurt you.”
I don’t know what to do. I love this person, fellowship-wise, but I’ve never relied on them for happiness, never wanted our friendship more than God. On my thoughts though... that’s different. I have so many intrusive thoughts about them it’s paralyzing me. I don’t know if I made an idol. I’ve only ever desired God, His Ways, and His plans. But now I can’t see memories clearly. I can’t live like this. When I see my friend again, I don’t even know if I should look at them. I’m so ashamed of myself. I don’t want an idol.
I can’t get rid of these thoughts. I don’t want to dwell on my friend; only God. And in the back of my mind are always these fears. I am unable to get professional advice. Please give your own. God’s Blessings.

Why are you unable to get professional help?

 

[Dave G.]

Same answer as before, OCD thoughts are not yours. Additionally we are allowed friends, especially if they are in Christ as well.

 

[St_Worm2]

Hello @SeekingGloryOnThisJourney, I'm very sorry to hear that you are struggling so with your "thought-life" and with OCD, it sounds just horrible

Hopefully the pandemic restrictions will be lifted soon so that you can seek professional advice face to face again (from pastor and/or counselor). In the meantime however, you could Facetime or have a Zoom meeting with them, yes?

*(I would certainly call/text/email my pastor if I was still having the problem that you are having right now, for his advice/counsel, but particularly so that he would know how to pray for me)

When I became a Christian, I had to deal with a HORRIBLE and PAINFUL thought-life myself. I had intrusive thoughts about anything and everything bad that you can imagine back then, but I learned to do a number of things that helped (principally, I studied the word of God and prayed, and I had others praying for me, and I resisted Satan and those horrible and nearly continual thoughts by taking them "captive", as we are commanded to do .. 2 Corinthians 10:5; James 4:7; 1 Peter 5:8-9, and then I gave them over to the Lord to deal with instead .. if I did not deal with them immediately however, and I felt like I had sinned in my mind because of them, I asked Him to forgive me .. 1 John 1:9).

In the end, what really changed things for me was "treasuring" God's word in my heart and in my mind, by memorizing certain key verses and passages from the Bible. A pastor, Chuck Swindoll, promised me that if I did this, memorized God's word, it would empty my mind of all of the stale, stinky garbage that was still locked in my brain from my non-Christian days, and that it would permanently replace it with something FAR better, God's word.

The Bible tells us to dwell on things which are honorable, praiseworthy and excellent .. Philippians 4:8, and it is hard to do otherwise when your mind and heart are filled with His word

If you'd like to try memorizing Scripture (it is hard work, just FYI), and you'd like some help getting started, just PM me as I would be happy to help! BTW, I use the Navigator's Topical Memory System. Back in the old days, we had to use flash cards, but now you can get the TMS on an Apple or an Android app

Praying for you!

God bless you! (Numbers 6:24-26)

--David

Philippians 4
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.

Psalms 119:9, 11
How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping it according to Thy word. Thy word I have 'treasured' in my heart, that I may not sin against Thee.​

 

[SeekingGloryOnThisJourney]

Why are you unable to get professional help?

Multiple and private reasons, plus financial reasons.

 

[SeekingGloryOnThisJourney]

Hello @SeekingGloryOnThisJourney, I'm very sorry to hear that you are struggling so with your "thought-life" and with OCD, it sounds just horrible

Hopefully the pandemic restrictions will be lifted soon so that you can seek professional advice face to face again (from pastor and/or counselor). In the meantime however, you could Facetime or have a Zoom meeting with them, yes?

*(I would certainly call/text/email my pastor if I was still having the problem that you are having right now, for his advice/counsel, but particularly so that he would know how to pray for me)

When I became a Christian, I had to deal with a HORRIBLE and PAINFUL thought-life myself. I had intrusive thoughts about anything and everything bad that you can imagine back then, but I learned to do a number of things that helped (principally, I studied the word of God and prayed, and I had others praying for me, and I resisted Satan and those horrible and nearly continual thoughts by taking them "captive", as we are commanded to do .. 2 Corinthians 10:5; James 4:7; 1 Peter 5:8-9, and then I gave them over to the Lord to deal with instead .. if I did not deal with them immediately however, and I felt like I had sinned in my mind because of them, I asked Him to forgive me .. 1 John 1:9).

In the end, what really changed things for me was "treasuring" God's word in my heart and in my mind, by memorizing certain key verses and passages from the Bible. A pastor, Chuck Swindoll, promised me that if I did this, memorized God's word, it would empty my mind of all of the stale, stinky garbage that was still locked in my brain from my non-Christian days, and that it would permanently replace it with something FAR better, God's word.

The Bible tells us to dwell on things which are honorable, praiseworthy and excellent .. Philippians 4:8, and it is hard to do otherwise when your mind and heart are filled with His word

If you'd like to try memorizing Scripture (it is hard work, just FYI), and you'd like some help getting started, just PM me as I would be happy to help! BTW, I use the Navigator's Topical Memory System. Back in the old days, we had to use flash cards, but now you can get the TMS on an Apple or an Android app

Praying for you!

God bless you! (Numbers 6:24-26)

--David

Philippians 4
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.

Psalms 119:9, 11
How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping it according to Thy word. Thy word I have 'treasured' in my heart, that I may not sin against Thee.​

Thank you, I’m doing better now. I’m still struggling but God is hearing me. God Bless you!

 

[SeekingGloryOnThisJourney]

Same answer as before, OCD thoughts are not yours. Additionally we are allowed friends, especially if they are in Christ as well.

Thanks, these posts do help quite a lot. I am doing better, hope you are well. God Bless!

 

[Michie]

Multiple and private reasons, plus financial reasons.

You can get free professional help. Call your local hospital and they can direct you.

 

[Dave G.]

Thanks, these posts do help quite a lot. I am doing better, hope you are well. God Bless!

 

[Mari17]

Since about March 28th, I’ve been having intrusive thoughts about someone. But those intrusive thoughts were all fears.
“You’re worshipping them.”
“You want to hurt them.”
They’re your god.”
“They’re gonna hurt you.”
I don’t know what to do. I love this person, fellowship-wise, but I’ve never relied on them for happiness, never wanted our friendship more than God. On my thoughts though... that’s different. I have so many intrusive thoughts about them it’s paralyzing me. I don’t know if I made an idol. I’ve only ever desired God, His Ways, and His plans. But now I can’t see memories clearly. I can’t live like this. When I see my friend again, I don’t even know if I should look at them. I’m so ashamed of myself. I don’t want an idol.
I can’t get rid of these thoughts. I don’t want to dwell on my friend; only God. And in the back of my mind are always these fears. I am unable to get professional advice. Please give your own. God’s Blessings.

I know how you feel! I think this is a common type of obsession for Christians with OCD. It might be helpful to get professional help for your OCD, but even if you can't, you can learn a lot about how to treat it on your own, too. I can suggest some good resources if you like.

 

[Not Perfect]

I'm sorry you're going through that. OCD is awful.

Your situation does not seem like that of someone who knows they are committing a sin, and is struggling what to do about it. Rather, you seem to be worried about whether you've actually sinned. That "what if?" is just torture for someone who has OCD.It sounds like you are worrying about "hidden sin", something that I've struggled with a lot. You know that your thoughts aren't you, but there's that nagging doubt that "what I really do have an idol?", or "what if these thoughts are true?". My advice is to rest in Jesus. Strive for godliness, but don't flagellate yourself over every real or perceived mistake (I know, easier said than done). God's grace is sufficient for you; if you do commit a "hidden sin" without realizing that what you are doing is wrong, you are covered by his grace. God "knows our frame; remembers that we are but dust" (Psalm 103:14). He knows that you are struggling, and his grace is not too small to help you through it. That has been something that has been super helpful to me as I have struggled with similar issues.

If you feel comfortable doing so, it might help you to share your obsessions with a close friend who does not suffer from OCD or anxiety (if you're not doing so already). I know in my heart that my OCD worries and obsessions are silly and nothing to worry about. However, it helps to have someone confirm that out loud. Be careful, though, not to do it to often. I've learned the hard way that sharing my obsessions can become a compulsion designed to make me feel better.

I recommend you get the books Brain Lock and/or You Are Not Your Brain by Jeffrey Schwarz. He uses a mindfulness-based technique to help reframe your thought patterns to alleviate OCD, anxiety, low self-esteem, and other problems. The great thing about his book is that the majority of people can self-treat by simply practicing his methods, without necessarily needing a counselor. I do, however, recommend that you find a friend, family member, or pastor who is willing to go through the books with you and encourage you/keep you accountable.

Don't worry about these thoughts you're having. The mere fact that you are concerned about having an idol shows that your heart is soft. God knows that you struggle with OCD; he knows that you have trouble knowing if these thoughts are sinful or not. And he will honor your desire to serve him. ("A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out." - Isaiah 42:3) You can't easily get rid of the intrusive thoughts, but you can change how to react to them. Don't avoid your friend, even if it makes you uncomfortable to be around him/her. Try to distract yourself right when you start worrying. Recite a Bible verse, do a chore, start a conversation with someone, etc. I find that it helps to try to address my doubts in small increments. For example, if I start to worry about something, I'll try to focus on something else for five minutes. Or if I get a "bad thought" and feel like I need to pray to confess it, I will wait five minutes before doing so. It's hard, but it gets easier with practice, and the anxiety eventually lessens.

I hope this helps; just a few things that have helped me.