I am still confused

Ranae of Cedar said:

I said in another post that I was raised Catholic but was not a Christian. I was not saying the Catholics are not Christian.. but just being born into a Christian family does not make one Christian, Catholic or Baptist or Lutheran.. you must also believe too.. not just blindly follow.

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That's fine, completely understand what you're trying to see and agree.

Ranae of Cedar said:

I had no love or dislike to God or Jesus.. although most of my life I have prayed to God and Jesus and even at one time thought that I had the Holy Spirit in me..until I was told by these people at my job who were Assembly of God denomination in another state.

(Let me clarify that I do not believe that every Assembly of God believes this way.. this is what they told me... maybe because I was getting into it too much while at work.. they actually took out the radio in my area so I could not listen to it anymore.... only thing allowed on the radio there was christian talk stations)

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Not entirely sure what you were told? That you didn't actually have the HS in you? You know better than someone else I'd hope whether you do or don't.
Not heard of anyone taking away someone's radio before to stop them from listening to anything other than Christian talk-shows. Sounds a bit extreme.

Ranae of Cedar said:

I usually go back to my pagan gods and here too, I do not believe that I love them anymore than I do God/Jesus/Holy Ghost. I don't believe that I love any God/s. As far as worship I really don't worship any either. How can one worship something they don't love?

When ever I try to follow the Christian faith, I think I panic and run back to my paganism.. I know that there are no rules of devotion with them, but in Christianity there is .. my uncle who was a wonderful Christian, was so so worried that he would not be able to get into heaven when he was dieing and talking to his priest.. and the priest could not reassure him .. it was so sad to here and see that.

I know that you must do much more that just ask Jesus into your heart.. you have to "LOVE" him and ask him in.. I don't "LOVE" God like that - at least not at this time.. and how do I not know that this is right.. just because so many believe.. and a book says so? You must love him, worship him more than anything else in the world, more than your children, parents, anything else, even above our material things.. I am not that into material things besides books.. that is my biggest downfall.

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Between being raised in the Catholic Church and now you became a pagan or are you using 'pagan gods' to refer to something more generic?

You wouldn't be the first to panic with Christianity. It's not a crime to worry/doubt/get scared by things. Jonah heard the call of God, panicked and ran away (literally).

It is only possible to really love God with the help of the Holy Spirit. "Through the Holy Spirit God has given us his love so that we may love him in return with all our heart, soul, mind and strength, and our neighbour as ourselves. (Methodist Catechism)". Truly loving God isn't something that we can do alone, we need the help and guidance of the Holy Spirit and those around us.

Why should you love/worship God? Here's a recent thread where Christians are giving some responses. You can read through and see what they say (not post though, it's in the Christian only section) http://www.christianforums.com/t7531467/

You have been miss lead in several ways, so please open your heart to a new way of thinking.

You are trying to do stuff on your own power and you can’t.

God is not trying to “get you to do something” put is trying to give you something and that something is the greatest power in all universes!

You, like most people, fight to avoid accepting God’s gift, because the gift is pure Charity (unconditional, sacrificial on God’s part, and you are totally undeserving of such a huge gift). Humans do not like to take charity especially when the giver made a huge sacrifice to give the gift (there is a good reason behind this), but that is the only way the exchange can take place (accepting Charity).

God has done and is doing everything He can to help you accept His gift (and that everything includes allowing: Christ to go to the cross, satan to roam the earth, tragedies of all kind, people to go to hell, and even allows you to sin).

You say you have to “Love” first, but why should you love and how can you have this Godly type Love as seen and taught by Jesus. That Love is way beyond humans: it is not natural nor can it be developed.

Godly type Love is what compels God to do all He does, compelled Christ to do all he did and can compel you to do everything, so how do you get such Love?

The Bible has examples of people and Christ/God with this Love, but you may not have seen/experienced it firsthand eyeball to eyeball in a Christ like person standing by you (this is the way to really know God’s Love and not just read about it). Do you really want this Love?

The only initial way to get this Love is through truly accepting God’s forgiveness (which is mercy/grace/charity/Love). God is right next to you wanting to hug you (like the Father in the story of the prodigal son), but you have to just turn to Him (like the prodigal son did).

You have been an enemy of God by sinning, but that is alright and sin is not the problem, (unforgiven sin can be a huge problem) since God is trying to forgive you if you will just accept.

The reason you do Love much is because you have not truly accepted God’s forgiveness as Charity (the way it is given) for if you had you would Love much ( Christ [and society] teaches “…he that is forgiven much will Love much…&#8221 it is automatic (but do not think you are paying back to God some loan or He expects anything from you [that would not be accepting charity]). You are to do what you want to do, but with this new found “Love” what do you really want to do?

It sounds like you need to decide what is true. You can't believe that both paganism and Christianity are true - it must be one or the other. What, in your mind, would show that one is true?

Ranae of Cedar said:

It's not deciding which one is true. I believe that all religions and paths are true, they are true to the person who is following that path. So it is finding the path that is true for me.

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Honestly, I do not think Christianity is the truth that you seek. We believe in only one truth. God's truth. God tells us there is only one way to the Father, that is through His son Jesus. For there to be multiple truths, that would make God a liar. If God lied then He is not God. Because God Is indeed who He says He is. Their can not be more than one truth, therefore Christianity is not what you seek... Unless their is a variable you are not sharing with us.

Ranae of Cedar said:

I usually go back to my pagan gods and here too, I do not believe that I love them anymore than I do God/Jesus/Holy Ghost. I don't believe that I love any God/s. As far as worship I really don't worship any either. How can one worship something they don't love?

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Man's love is carnal and is really based on self gain or self pleasure and so it is impossible generate such 'love' towards a God that you perceive to be judgemental and accusatory. True love comes from God only. God's love is pure, unconditional and without personal gain. When man accepts Christ into his life, this opens the way to receive the Spirit of God into our hearts. From that comes the ability to love as God loves and to receive the love of God.

Ranae of Cedar said:

When ever I try to follow the Christian faith, I think I panic and run back to my paganism.. I know that there are no rules of devotion with them, but in Christianity there is .. my uncle who was a wonderful Christian, was so so worried that he would not be able to get into heaven when he was dieing and talking to his priest.. and the priest could not reassure him .. it was so sad to here and see that.

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Man is subject to spiritual authority whether he can discern this or not. When you attempt to engage Christ you immediately evoke resistance (which can manifest in the form of fear, anger, judgement or other) in the spiritual realm. That which you have given authority to in the past, will not easily give up such authority.....

Ranae of Cedar said:

I know that you must do much more that just ask Jesus into your heart.. you have to "LOVE" him and ask him in.. I don't "LOVE" God like that - at least not at this time.. and how do I not know that this is right.. just because so many believe.. and a book says so? You must love him, worship him more than anything else in the world, more than your children, parents, anything else, even above our material things.. I am not that into material things besides books.. that is my biggest downfall.

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If you believe that Jesus is the Son of God you have taken a big step forward. Thereafter you need to renounce all other authority and ask for forgiveness of sins when you are water baptized into Christ.

As God starts to take authority in your mind and soul, you will increasingly experience the love and peace of God. When that loves comes in, you will know that giving God authority in every area of your life, doesnt mean denial or loss, but it means God been given the authority to make everything richer, better and more relevant to you and His destiny for your life.....

Ranae of Cedar said:

If you have read my post, you would see that I have done that before.

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Would you be in agreement with Christ’s teaching that “…if you are forgiven much you will Love much and if you are forgiven little you will Love little…”?

Do you feel you have much (the hurting of other people) to be forgiven of?

Have you truly allowed God to forgive you without any strings attached or do you think you are now obligated to do something?

Its a spiritual decision first than an intellectual one second.

Spiritual reasons:
Are you a good person? www.livingwaters.com/good/
http://www.needgod.com/004.shtml

Intellectual reasons:
Research the credibility of the bible concerning overwhelming evidence which is very high compared to other religions.
Visit: www.TheBibleProofBook.com, (you will need acrobat reader for this), read The Evidence That Demands A Verdict by Josh McDowell a former agnostic- (its overwhelming circumstantial evidence of bible) and Examine the Evidence by Muncaster a former athiest/The Case for Christ and The Real Jesus by Lee Strobel a former athiest. www.equip.org (articles), http://www.gotquestions.org/,
http://christiananswers.net/

http://www.reasonableanswers.org/12-Eyewitnesses-of-the-resurrection.html　
http://www.gotquestions.org/canon-Bible.html
http://equip.org/articles/a-defense-of-sola-scriptura
http://equip.org/articles/bible-reliability

Internal Evidence (prophesies confirmed within bible)
Life of Christ
The Tribe of Judah, Gen 49:10 - Luke 3:23-28
(Genesis was written 4004 BC to 1689 BC)
(Lukes time period 60-70 AD)
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Royal Line of David, Jer 23:5 - Matt 1:1
(Jeremiah 760 to 698 BC)/(Matthew 60 - 70 AD)
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Born of a Virgin, Isaiah 7:14 - Matt 1:18-23
(Isaiah 760 to 698 BC)/(Matthew 60 - 70 AD)
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Rise of Empires
In the book of Daniel, Chapter 2 - four kingdoms are described in the interpretation of a dream of
Nebuchadnezzar, king of Babylon: Babylon, Medo-Persia, Greek - Daniel 8:21, 10:20/and the fourth
great kingdom to follow- part iron and clay-which is the Roman Empire. During this empire Christ came and his church was established.
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Historical Accuracy
The bible is loaded with historical statements concerning events hundreds of years ago and has not
been proven incorrect in any.
(Bible compared to other ancient documents):
New Testament starts - at 25 years between original and first surviving copies
Homer - starts at 500 years
Demosthenes - at 1400 years
Plato - at 1200 years
Caesar - at 1000 years
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Number of Manuscript Copies-New Testament - 5,686/Homer - 643/Demosthenes - 200/
Plato - 7/Caesar -10
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Consistency/Written by God
Written by at least 40 men over a period of time exceeding 1400 years and has no internal inconsistencies.
It claims to be spoken by God, 2 Timothy 3:16-17. No other religious book makes such claim.
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External Evidences (prophesies outside bible)
These cities were prophesied to be destroyed and never built again.
Nineveh - Nahum 1:10, 3:7,15, Zephaniah 2:13-14
Babylon - Isaiah 13:1-22
Tyre - Ezekiel 26:1-28
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Bible before Science- He hangs the earth on nothing-Job 26:7/Earth is a sphere-Isaiah 40:22
Air has weight-Job 28:25/Gravity-Job 26:7, Job 38:31-33/Winds blow in cyclones, Eccl 1:6
(Job was written at least 1000 BC; some scholars think 3000 BC)
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Documents that Prove Bible is True
Gilgamesh Epic, The Sumerian King List, Mari Tablets, Babylonian Chronicles
Archeological Finds
Excavations of Ur, Location of Zoar, Ziggurats and the foundation of Tower of Babel

Ranae of Cedar said:

I said in another post that I was raised Catholic but was not a Christian. I was not saying the Catholics are not Christian.. but just being born into a Christian family does not make one Christian, Catholic or Baptist or Lutheran.. you must also believe too.. not just blindly follow.

I had no love or dislike to God or Jesus.. although most of my life I have prayed to God and Jesus and even at one time thought that I had the Holy Spirit in me..until I was told by these people at my job who were Assembly of God denomination in another state.

(Let me clarify that I do not believe that every Assembly of God believes this way.. this is what they told me... maybe because I was getting into it too much while at work.. they actually took out the radio in my area so I could not listen to it anymore.... only thing allowed on the radio there was christian talk stations)

I usually go back to my pagan gods and here too, I do not believe that I love them anymore than I do God/Jesus/Holy Ghost. I don't believe that I love any God/s. As far as worship I really don't worship any either. How can one worship something they don't love?

When ever I try to follow the Christian faith, I think I panic and run back to my paganism.. I know that there are no rules of devotion with them, but in Christianity there is .. my uncle who was a wonderful Christian, was so so worried that he would not be able to get into heaven when he was dieing and talking to his priest.. and the priest could not reassure him .. it was so sad to here and see that.

I know that you must do much more that just ask Jesus into your heart.. you have to "LOVE" him and ask him in.. I don't "LOVE" God like that - at least not at this time.. and how do I not know that this is right.. just because so many believe.. and a book says so? You must love him, worship him more than anything else in the world, more than your children, parents, anything else, even above our material things.. I am not that into material things besides books.. that is my biggest downfall.

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I feel for your uncle... that sort of worry can be debilitating! It is a shame that the priest could not comfort him.

I don't worry too much about making sure I love God "enough". I trust not in my own decision, nor in my feelings about God. I trust that Christ died and rose again to defeat sin, death, and the devil over 2000 years ago. I was forgiven at that moment. That was when I was "saved." It just took me a long time to realize it!

"Blindly following" can't be done by those who do not have God's Spirit in them. 1 Cor 12 says that no one can say "Jesus is Lord" unless the Spirit is in them. My pastor often says that God spends our lives making us into the image of the righteous child of God that he has already declared us to be! We are righteous, not because of our decision for Christ, or our feelings, but because we are clothed in Christ's righteousness. Our own doubts, fears, and sins are covered by that gleaming whiteness.

We are born separated from God. And yet, Christ reconciled us to God through his death and resurrection. That is the core of the Gospel, and has to be the core of our belief. Whether I feel holy, or feel like I love God, or have doubts on this or that moral or theological question, or am struggling with sin, or have snapped in anger at my daughter... none of that changes the fact of God's sacrifice for me and for all sinners. It's not about my feelings, or my actions, or even my "decision." God has reconciled us to Him. It is finished.

So please do not worry that you are not doing or feeling "enough" for God. You aren't "saved" by what you do or feel. Christ has already saved you. So long as you do not reject him completely, the Holy Spirit will work in your life to draw you into right action. He will give you a hunger and thirst for the things of God.

May the Lord richly bless and keep you, and grow you in His righteousness.