i am so upset

[kimber1]

y'all know that i've been going through RCIA in hopes of entering the Church this Easter. well i'm going through the annullment process of my first marriage and then need to have my second marriage blessed before this can happen.

anyone who;s ever gone through this knows all the paperwork involved and having to give a list of witnesses who can attest to the problems in the marriage so the tribunal can make their decision and grant the annullment.

well, when i was first married i didn't have any friends because my ex wouldn't allow it. i never got to leave the house because he was always out partying and i was taking care of our son so any friends were all HIS friends. so the only people i could really write down were my parents and stepparents, 1 friend who i havne't tlaked to in years, and my ex's brother.

i just got a letter from the tribunal saying that only my dad and stepmom (who completely support my wanting to convert) have answered and that 1 person called and flat out said they refused to respond (this happens to be ym ex's mother who posed as "mrs.colley"-wife of the brother )and the brother is in drug rehab so ain't no way HE"S gonna respond. last week i found out from my dad that my mother (who i haven't spoken to in several years--don't ask--long.......emotional ---not pleasant story) said if she fills her part out she'll make sure i'm NEVER accepted by the Church. now i told my priest the mom thing was not going to go over well in the very beginning and he said not to worry about it, to put her name down anyway and if she didn't respond so be it, we had other witnesses.

but the tribunal is saying that without these testimonies they won't be able to go on with my petition any further.


i just do not know how much more of this i can take.

all i want is to be in perfect Communion. is that too much to ask? i have waited sooooooooooo long, got my calling to convert in january or so of 2004 but had to wait till sept to start RCIA becasue of the timing and now that i'm finally in classes, everytime i turn around something is standing in my way.

why God? why is this such a hassle?

well i know why, actually i just got a really sweet pm (thanks xenia) and i know it's the enemy trying to work one over on me. i'm jsut so tired of this fight. does anyone have any idea what i'm supposed to do now? i havne't been able to get through to my priest yet but does anyone have any advice now? i mean i can't help it these people are too lazy to fill the stupid questionnaire out or that they're just flat out too mean or vindictive to see how much this means to me........

 

[Maggie893]

Unfortunately I don't have any advice. I haven't been through this. I do have prayer however which I will gladly give. and a hug. or three.

 

[nyj]

Kimber,

Do you have any siblings?

 

[kimber1]

i have a sister but she was in the military when i was married (overseas) and she wasn't around to even know of anything that happend.

 

[nyj]

i have a sister but she was in the military when i was married (overseas) and she wasn't around to even know of anything that happend.

But did you discuss things with her at all? She could at least attest to your own state of mind during that period.

I'm about to go through the very same thing, and it's scary because for all intents and purposes, having married into a southern family which had the motto "If you have problems, keep them to yourself and let everyone else think you're all happy as can be." it's going to be hard to find friends who can attest to any problems. For all they knew, one day we were a happily married couple and the next we were divorced.

The only people who really knew anything was amiss were my parents and sister. Plus... how do you stress the importance of an annulment procedure to baptists?

 

[InnerPhyre]

Praying for you and this whole situation, Kimber. Just remember: The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph.

 

[krstlros]

Kimber:

God's peace and grace to you.

I have never been in your situation, however, I have know many who have. And, for some reason, your case sounds familiar to me as I believe one of my friends had the same situation.

Firstly, I would continue with your RCIA and continue with your goal of being Baptised this coming Easter Vigil. Whoever told you that Satan is putting roadblocks in front of you is correct. Whatever it takes, Satan will do so you won't be part of God's church. Stay strong Sister, and prevail. All of us are here with you to give you strength. And even if you don't receive your annulment before your Baptism, continue to work at obtaining it.

Be sure to let your Priest know what is going on with your Mom. For my part, I was shocked at your Mother's reaction. Then again, you know what's going on with that situation better than any of us. I will pray that your Mom's heart will be softened in this instance in obtaining the annulment. Ask your Priest to speak to the Tribunal on your behalf. I'm sure his influence and words will count for something.

I'm pretty sure your not obtaining your annulment before your Baptism won't interfere with your Baptism into the Church. That's a decision you will need to make whether you want to wait for the annulment before your Baptism or not. In either case, my heart and prayers go out to you.

Good luck. God's peace and blessings upon all concerned.

 

[kimber1]

But did you discuss things with her at all? She could at least attest to your own state of mind during that period.

I'm about to go through the very same thing, and it's scary because for all intents and purposes, having married into a southern family which had the motto "If you have problems, keep them to yourself and let everyone else think you're all happy as can be." it's going to be hard to find friends who can attest to any problems. For all they knew, one day we were a happily married couple and the next we were divorced.

The only people who really knew anything was amiss were my parents and sister. Plus... how do you stress the importance of an annulment procedure to baptists?

EXACTLY and no i never spokje to my sister about anything. by the time she got back in the states we were separated so no luck there.... i just don't think this is fair....

 

[kimber1]

well, i've been baptized previously or are you just referring to being confirmed into the Church? my fear is that if my annullment doesn't go through then i'm considered living in sin with my now hubby and would therefore never be able to partake of the Eucharist. i don't think i could handle that....

 

[krstlros]

Sorry Kimber if I misread your OP. I thought you as yet hadn't been Baptised yet into the Church rather than receiving your Confirmation.

This situation isn't the same as yours but it may be close. When my cousin married in the Philippines, theirs was just a cvil union and were going to have a church wedding later. (It's very strange there) Anyway, when they returned to the U.S. they were in church one day and there was a homily on marriage and the reception of the Eucharist. Suffice to say, neither of them went to receive Eucharist that Sunday and all subsequent Sundays until their Church wedding a few months later.

I don't know what God is asking of you at this point. And I won't presume to. Yet, what comes to mind is sacrifice. Sacrifice that period when you won't be able to receive Eucharist until you can fully receive your annulment and be married into the Church. It is something to think about.

 

[faerieevaH]

Kimber, any online friends perhaps that you've talked to? Or a blog? Pen pals? Shopkeepers?

 

[Cat59]

Kim, I dont have any other suggestions than those here, but be sure that I'll remember you especially in Mass and in the coming weeks.
and
Cat

 

[Aaron-Aggie]

y'all know that i've been going through RCIA in hopes of entering the Church this Easter. well i'm going through the annullment process of my first marriage and then need to have my second marriage blessed before this can happen.

anyone who;s ever gone through this knows all the paperwork involved and having to give a list of witnesses who can attest to the problems in the marriage so the tribunal can make their decision and grant the annullment.

well, when i was first married i didn't have any friends because my ex wouldn't allow it. i never got to leave the house because he was always out partying and i was taking care of our son so any friends were all HIS friends. so the only people i could really write down were my parents and stepparents, 1 friend who i havne't tlaked to in years, and my ex's brother.

i just got a letter from the tribunal saying that only my dad and stepmom (who completely support my wanting to convert) have answered and that 1 person called and flat out said they refused to respond (this happens to be ym ex's mother who posed as "mrs.colley"-wife of the brother )and the brother is in drug rehab so ain't no way HE"S gonna respond. last week i found out from my dad that my mother (who i haven't spoken to in several years--don't ask--long.......emotional ---not pleasant story) said if she fills her part out she'll make sure i'm NEVER accepted by the Church. now i told my priest the mom thing was not going to go over well in the very beginning and he said not to worry about it, to put her name down anyway and if she didn't respond so be it, we had other witnesses.

but the tribunal is saying that without these testimonies they won't be able to go on with my petition any further.


i just do not know how much more of this i can take.

all i want is to be in perfect Communion. is that too much to ask? i have waited sooooooooooo long, got my calling to convert in january or so of 2004 but had to wait till sept to start RCIA becasue of the timing and now that i'm finally in classes, everytime i turn around something is standing in my way.

why God? why is this such a hassle?

well i know why, actually i just got a really sweet pm (thanks xenia) and i know it's the enemy trying to work one over on me. i'm jsut so tired of this fight. does anyone have any idea what i'm supposed to do now? i havne't been able to get through to my priest yet but does anyone have any advice now? i mean i can't help it these people are too lazy to fill the stupid questionnaire out or that they're just flat out too mean or vindictive to see how much this means to me........

Kim go spend some time at the church in prayer and trust in the Lord for gudince

 

[kimber1]

no, i was baptized as a Baptist and married as a Baptist and remarried as a Baptist

so i don't have to get baptized since the Catholic Church only recognizes one baptism. i'm just terrified fo the annullment part. if it's turned down...then what? would i NEVER be a 100 % part of the Church? i mean i have to have the first marriage anulled before i can get this marriage blessed which praise God, now hubby agreed to but....

 

[Benedicta00]

There was another girl from another forum who went through the same thing. I don't know if she solved her problem with unwilling witnesses either. I guess you can look t the bright side- you know all the allegations that Catholics buy their way out of their bad marriages is false.

As to why God is making this such a hassle, he isn’t. The hard pill to swallow is that we get ourselves into these messes, bad marriages and things of that nature. He forgives us but sometimes the consequences of our actions may not be that easy to mend.

Catholics make amends, not only say I'm sorry" when we mess up. The Church is concerned for your soul and that is why she is trying to get you out of the mess you are in. The truth is we can only be married once, as Christ said.

I'll pray for you, that that those involved will soften their hearts and help you out.

I was wondering however, isn't there something a bishop can do when you have witnesses who admittedly will lie and not be truthful?? There has to be something a person can do when the witness isn't forthcoming or honest but admits the reason they won’t cooperate is to prevent someone from becoming a Catholic??

 

[Benedicta00]

no, i was baptized as a Baptist and married as a Baptist and remarried as a Baptist

so i don't have to get baptized since the Catholic Church only recognizes one baptism. i'm just terrified fo the annullment part. if it's turned down...then what? would i NEVER be a 100 % part of the Church? i mean i have to have the first marriage anulled before i can get this marriage blessed which praise God, now hubby agreed to but....

They call it a blessing but really, you will be marring him for the first time. This is what I was told by the deacon at the parish where me and my husband were married. We were married by a JP for 6 years before we married in the Church.

 

[Glynnw]

Kim, I'm praying for you. Maybe you could speak before the tribunal. You have to think of anything that you could possibly do. I'm going to speak to my RCIA teacher, who is a deacon sunday. He had a student that had your problem. Just maybe he will have something you can use.

God Bless you on your path into the Catholic Church, GlynnW

 

[ukok]

Kim, i wish i could offer you more than my prayers, i will be lighting a candle for you at Mass tomorrow

I remember that last year you were really upset at first at not being able to start RCIA and be received into the Faith in 2004...and look how far you have come since then....all these things appear insurmountable at first, second and maybe third glance...but keep Trusting in Him who cares for you...and may your faith be rewarded richly for doing so!

God Bless

 

[QuagDabPeg]

If you don't get the annulment, I think they would tell you to live as brother and sister with your husband, but I'm not sure, maybe someone can correct me, but that's what someone told me once.

 

[Benedicta00]

If you don't get the annulment, I think they would tell you to live as brother and sister with your husband, but I'm not sure, maybe someone can correct me, but that's what someone told me once.

I think there is a little more to it than that. She wouldn’t be able to receive communion. I don’t think (I really don’t know) that the Church would require her to live as brother and sister however. It would be their choice.

Kim- don't worry, this will work out.