I am sad...

[MentalSoliloquy]

I was told today that my SO cannot live with someone who does not have the same beliefs as him...

I am greek orthodox christian, he is christian

we can't be that different, why did he wait over a year to come to this decision...

 

[InTheFlame]

It seems a bit silly to me too. But it's his decision to make... and he's been honest with you, at least. I know it still hurts though Praying for you, that God will let you know he's with you and he loves you... and give you his peace.

 

[MentalSoliloquy]

now he just told me that we can make it work...

...he recited something out of the bible about if you have an unsaved wife stay with your wife...

that is why he said we will work...that was his reason...

I am not unsaved I am just a different denomination...

 

[InTheFlame]

HUH?



This sounds very confusing for you

Are you two married? Or have you had sex? Is this why he's using that scripture?

 

[MentalSoliloquy]

No we've never had sex, I am a virgin...

We are not married either...

 

[Wakeup2god]

Ask him to consult his elders, sounds like he's not sure what he thinks.

 

[InTheFlame]

OK, I think I'm on the same page now.

MS... he needs to work out what he wants and why. None of this spouting bible verses to back up contradictory positions silliness. Sounds as though he's very confused right now.

So... be very wary. Start guarding your heart from this man. If I was in your position, I'd tell him I want a break for a couple of weeks to work out what you both want. This will do two things... it'll help you focus on things other than him (as long as you actually get out and do stuff and don't just moon around thinking about how much you miss the silly goof), and it'll help HIM realise that he's behaving badly and needs to come to a serious decision.

See if you can get hold of one or two books - Boundaries Before Marriage (it's about how to build healthy relationships, how to find a good boyfriend, how to BE a good girlfriend, etc - by Drs Cloud and Townsend) and Love Must Be Tough (about what to do when someone is drawing away from your relationship - by James Dobson). If you're in Brisbane PM me... I might be able to loan you a copy of one or the other. I think the books would really help you look at your relationship, work out what's going on, and work out what to do about it.

hope that helps. God bless.

 

[Wakeup2god]

Have you been dating or are you actually courting - big difference. Maybe he's looking for a way out. You're only young so best to realise now if you're not right than later. InTheFlame gives wise councel

 

[MentalSoliloquy]

When I asked him if he wanted us to go our separate ways he kept saying 'no its not over' 'i am not giving you up' 'i love you' 'this is not the end' etc...

We've been 'together' for a year... this issue came up because we spoke about the idea of getting Married.

We've always had a very strong relationship...and communicated very well with each other...

he has only recently accepted Jesus Christ as the Savior and Lord (2weeks)

 

[Wakeup2god]

he has only recently accepted Jesus Christ as the Savior and Lord (2weeks)

this says it all. He's trying to walk before he can even crawl. There are more important things he needs to get a grasp of before he starts getting poluted by denominational arguments. Do you have the Alpha course over there. If so take him on one. It's good for new Christians. He needs nurturing.

 

[MentalSoliloquy]

I am not familiar with Alpha course...

he is steering towards being a Non-Denominational Christian as this is the way he was directed to by his brother in law

 

[Wakeup2god]

Well, all you can do is love him and be patient with him. Maybe if you both read the scriptures together. If he has any questions maybe you can help him to see them in their right context.

Be patient he's only a baby, lead by example.

 

[MentalSoliloquy]

He has also been reading the Left Behind Series to which he told me he has taken literally and will not accept any other reasoning.

 

[Wakeup2god]

Mm, bit heavy. If he's saved he needen't worry about being left behind. Don't know what to say realy. Just give him time to get over the initial rush. Pray that the Lord will guard his heart and will only allow in what he needs to know right now.

God bless

 

[MentalSoliloquy]

well things are better today... we are going to read the scriptures together and do bible study... thank you for all your advice

 

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

Sweetie,

After reading this, and your unresolved arguments thread, I'm going to give you some advice.

TREAD VERY CAREFULLY.

It's all red flags to me. Again, tad biased because he sounds VERY similar to my ex-fiance, but a lot of what you're saying he's saying to you sounds very manipulative and controlling - and is not what you want from a long-term relationship.

It sounds like you two have yet to meet, or have just met 'in person'. Again - tread carefully. Guard your heart. Do not let your heart run miles ahead of what your head has to discern.

There are just a few things you've said on here and in the other thread that sound like this man has issues with controlling and manipulation.

It's always dangerous to start a relationship with someone who has JUST become a Christian. Often they can lean on you to 'kick start' their relationship with God (one word - dangerous), or because they are on a 'high' from this new discovery, try to overwhelm you with all this stuff, and because you may have a slightly different take on things, they can drag your faith down because 'you don't believe the same as me'.

Tread carefully hon. It may be wise for you to take a break from him, until he's got a bit stronger in his faith. It would also be a very smart idea of you to bring up the fact that you felt a bit controlled by his behaviour, and put some boundaries up in your relationship, so that this controlling behaviour can be destroyed...

Have a read of Safe People and Boundaries Before Marriage, like I said in the other post.

Be smart, sensible and cautious.

Sasch

 

[MentalSoliloquy]

Things religion-wise are going great...