I am pretty sure this is wrong...

[lovespeace]

Everytime I get mad at my husband I fantasize about divorcing and leaving him. I know this is wrong, I would like to know if anybody else did this/ had any advice ect...We don't argue to much, he tend (when stressed) to be superior and annoying. He is a classic type A person and I am a type B. We are usually pretty good companions to each other.

I know what God says about anger and divorce, I know this is a sin. I just don't know how to stop this pattern. Yes, I do repent and pray about it.

Thanks.

 

[bkg]

I hope this doesn't sound judgemental, as I surely don't intend it to be...

Every single time you utter the word divorce, even in your own mind, you are opening a door to Satan... you give him a chance to enter your marriage, and he will take every single advantage of that he can. Please, no matter how angry you are at your husband, never fantasize about divorce, never think about it, never entertain the remote thought of being with anyone (or even no one) other than your husband. Doing so will give satan an opportunity to make this though process feel "normal" or even welcomed...

Check out the "Marriage on the Rock" series by Jimmy Evans for more on this subject - it's wonderful teachings...

Keep praying,
bkg

 

[IslandBreeze]

I guess I'd suggest follow through with that thought and really think long and hard about what your life would really be like without your husband--paying bills by yourself, coming home to an empty house, crawling into an empty bed at night...what sounds appealing about that?

My husband is the most laid-back man I've ever met in my life. Surprisingly enough, he aggravates me to no end due to his lack of decisiveness and authority at times. But I can't imagine my life without him or what I'd do without his love and support by my side day in and day out. Focusing on the negative can be so easy when we're angry or upset. But try to focus on the positive, and I have a feeling they'll out-weigh the negative every time.

 

[desi]

Why would you want to divorce if you "are usually pretty good companions to each other." Thats what marriage is about.

 

[Jenna]

Hmmmm....... maybe you could find a scripture verse that really speaks to you about marriage, and repeat it to yourself when you are angry? That might help you to change the pattern of your thoughts.

*laughs* Of course, I need to follow my own advice, I'm sure. My mantra goes more like "I love my husband....and I really don't want to snuffocate him with his pillow...."

 

[SirKenin]

Repeat after me:

*calm blue oceans*

*calm blue oceans*

Divorce is far more painful than any fight. It's worth it to stick it out and go the distance to make your marriage work. I used to think that myself in my marriage. When it finally came down to happening, I realized that's not what I wanted, but it was too late.

 

[lovespeace]

I love my husband....and I really don't want to snuffocate him with his pillow....

He-he...
I know it is wrong to be this angry (and it is not completly unjustified anger), I do try to not do it....

 

[SirKenin]

I love my husband....and I really don't want to snuffocate him with his pillow....

He-he...
I know it is wrong to be this angry (and it is not completly unjustified anger), I do try to not do it....

Anger, when used the way you are using it, is a sin, yes, but there is also a good anger. Try to make anger your ally instead of your enemy. Untamed anger will only eat you alive and block your way to finding inner peace, balance and harmony.

/me meditates. We must become one with the Tao. lol

Sorry.. I thought it was funny

 

[GirlieGirl]

Philipians 4:8

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy--meditate on these things.

When you have thoughts that need to be dealt with, each time they come up you have to make the consicious decision not to think about them and to instead replace them with good ones. Praying is good. But put some action behind your prayers too. And recognize that be entering into these fantasies you're indulging yourself for momentary pleasure. In the end, it brings destruction. You have to give up the momentary pleasure of these thoughts. It's that simple. No one like to hear "deny yourself" but that's what you've got to do.

 

[Zoomer]

I would ask yourself,
Why am I having thoughts about divorce?
It is something that we could work out or something that we may need a bit of counseling for?

 

[lovespeace]

Read my other note. He wanted me to abort all three of our children (I refused to do it) and that has affected my feelings for him. I am trying my best to recover, but am still sad. Counseling he would definatly not go to. He also does not like it when I bring up negative emotions, and I am not to hot at it myself. I also am a person who likes their own space (I like being alone), so I think that divorce is a way to give myself an escape clause. The holy spirit has been prompting me to not hide my feelings, and talk to him about them, but I am a bit chicken, and not good with confrontations. I know what God is saying, it just seems like it is too hard to do.
Despite all the above we are very good togeather. We like the same things, can talk for hours, have a nice family. He loves me, and shows it all the time. I have seen what my friends go through, infidelity,violence, drug use, money woes, and I have none of that. H

 

[Jenna]

Honey, discussions don't have to be confrontations. Even unpleasant conversations can be handled in ways that keep the both of you feeling reasonably comfortable, which might help him be more open to listening without getting defensive.

 

[Svt4Him]

See, thinking about it is one thing, fantasizing about it is what makes it a sin.

 

[Jennifer615]

Wow, I don't know if I could forgive my husband if he wanted me to abort my children! I suppose he knows I am pro-life, and wouldn't even suggest it.

If he won't go to counselling, I think you should. Maybe you should use it as an ultimatum. I just hope he repents of wanting his precious children aborted!

 

[lovespeace]

I have thought of going to counseling on my own. I was thinking about this issue today as I was driving around. Wanting a divorce when I am mad...I have been working on it whereas I might have done it 100 percent of the time before, now I do it about 25 percent of the time.
Now what I am getting angry about is sometimes my fault, sometimes his fault. I realize that the only persons behavior I am responsible for is my own, and I am in charge of it. Prob if I told him all of this (except the divorce part, he would be very hurt) I could increase communication. I tend to hold anger in (though I am not prone to getting angry quickly), so I try not to do it.
About the abortion issue, that is something he will have to answer for, not me.