I am on the verge of losing it

[Job405]

These intrusive thoughts blaspheming God are just relentless, they keep coming day in day out, morning, day and evening. They try to get me to deny, reject or blaspheme God, but I will not do it.

My prayers seem to be falling on deaf ears as well. I have no relief from these thoughts. Nothing seems to work. I reject and rebuke them in Jesus name but they still keep coming.

I just love God so much and nothing helps. I am lost. I haven't felt the Holy Spirit in days.

What should I do? This cannot go on. Please help.

 

[Tolworth John]

These intrusive thoughts blaspheming God are just relentless, they keep coming day in day out, morning, day and evening. They try to get me to deny, reject or blaspheme God, but I will not do it.

My prayers seem to be falling on deaf ears as well. I have no relief from these thoughts. Nothing seems to work. I reject and rebuke them in Jesus name but they still keep coming.

I just love God so much and nothing helps. I am lost. I haven't felt the Holy Spirit in days.

What should I do? This cannot go on. Please help.

This is a medical condition not a spiritual one, so what does your therapist tell you to do?

Have you read the 25 tips for Successful treating your OCD ?
Google it or look for it in the OCD forum.

The psychologist who wrote it to help his patients knows how to help.
To tips from it.
You are responsible for your treatment. Either to take your meds or to follow the tips.

Don't argue or debate intrusive thoughts, just acknowledge them and ignore.

Finally a spiritual point. Jesus chose you, he knows your problems and does not judge you for them.
Anymore than he judges a paralysed man for not going to church.

So find and read those tips and follow them, talk to your therapist or get one.

 

[Job405]

This is a medical condition not a spiritual one, so what does your therapist tell you to do?

Have you read the 25 tips for Successful treating your OCD ?
Google it or look for it in the OCD forum.

The psychologist who wrote it to help his patients knows how to help.
To tips from it.
You are responsible for your treatment. Either to take your meds or to follow the tips.

Don't argue or debate intrusive thoughts, just acknowledge them and ignore.

Finally a spiritual point. Jesus chose you, he knows your problems and does not judge you for them.
Anymore than he judges a paralysed man for not going to church.

So find and read those tips and follow them, talk to your therapist or get one.

It's not a medical problem. I have tried almost every antipsychotic medication and they have zero effect on these symptoms. Zero, zilch, none whatsoever. You sound like my doctor, who as far as I know is an atheist.

 

[Tolworth John]

It's not a medical problem. I have tried almost every antipsychotic medication and they have zero effect on these symptoms. Zero, zilch, none whatsoever. You sound like my doctor, who as far as I know is an atheist.

Good, all too often people posting like you have, will not see a doctor.

That still leaves trying the 25 tips. If you don't try you won't know whether they could help you.

Spiritual problems can affect the religious as well a the non religious.

 

[Tania11]

It's not a medical problem. I have tried almost every antipsychotic medication and they have zero effect on these symptoms. Zero, zilch, none whatsoever. You sound like my doctor, who as far as I know is an atheist.

OCD can also make you feel like you're the unique special case. I'm still battling that thought.

Have you tried ERP therapy? It's proven effective for intrusive thoughts. Check out Ali Greymond's channel on YouTube for helpful tips. Medication is mostly helpful with anxiety but usually, the thoughts will keep coming if you don't do therapy.

 

[Refirened]

my mental health issues get worse when im at a loose end as it gives me more time to focus on my negative thoughts and bad feelings about my life and situations which makes things worse.

This last week I've been literally forcing myself to pray and listen to audio bible and do exercise when im at a loose end. God says we are washed through his word and transformed by the renewing of our mind through his Spirit and Jesus said his words are spirit and life. I've been using this truth to motivate myself as I've got very little motivation due to depression and anxiety amongst other things so its been tough. This is a much better option though instead of just sitting listening to the ramblings of Satan and his minions in my head as im focused on trying to build a healthy daily habit in my life at the same time.

Also to note the word in Scripture is called water and Satan attacks us with fiery darts so that's another motivation to force myself against my feelings into listening to the word of God as water puts out fire.

 

[Job405]

OCD can also make you feel like you're the unique special case. I'm still battling that thought.

Have you tried ERP therapy? It's proven effective for intrusive thoughts. Check out Ali Greymond's channel on YouTube for helpful tips. Medication is mostly helpful with anxiety but usually, the thoughts will keep coming if you don't do therapy.

ERP is the thing where you think or say bad things to get used to it and then it no longer triggers you? No I will not be doing that as I do not want to blaspheme.

my mental health issues get worse when im at a loose end as it gives me more time to focus on my negative thoughts and bad feelings about my life and situations which makes things worse.

This last week I've been literally forcing myself to pray and listen to audio bible and do exercise when im at a loose end. God says we are washed through his word and transformed by the renewing of our mind through his Spirit and Jesus said his words are spirit and life. I've been using this truth to motivate myself as I've got very little motivation due to depression and anxiety amongst other things so its been tough. This is a much better option though instead of just sitting listening to the ramblings of Satan and his minions in my head as im focused on trying to build a healthy daily habit in my life at the same time.

Also to note the word in Scripture is called water and Satan attacks us with fiery darts so that's another motivation to force myself against my feelings into listening to the word of God as water puts out fire.

Thanks, yeah I need to get into the word more definitely.

 

[Tania11]

"is the thing where you think or say bad things to get used to it and then it no longer triggers you? No I will not be doing that as I do not want to blaspheme."

No, you don't have to say them or think them on purpose in the therapy. Those thoughts are not yours. They have no accountability on you. Unfortunately, you are going to eventually get numb to them anyway. You will reach a backdoor spike because you're going to keep having them. Then you're going to worry if your conscience is seared because the anxiety is gone. I'm not trying to scare you or anything, I just want to prepare you for the battle.

 

[zachariahjosephturner]

Any advice or help???? I've been dealing with intrusive thoughts for about 6 years before all this happened I had already been 4 years into my walk with God!!! But I guess the fear of the unpardonable sin overtook me the more I tried not to think these thoughts the more they came! so here's where I'm at now I guess according to the internet I have severe depersonalization and derealization anxiety etc do not have my mind constantly cursing the spirit is almost foreign to me as it's as if my chemicals in my body have become used to feeling this way and used to having thoughts in my mind yes I pray read see can serve God at times I feel like I really feel the Lord. but just like right now all I want to do is think these thoughts it's like something in me wants to think these thoughts it's not just intrusive anymore something in me wants to think then it's like there's two of me there's the person that wants to think these thoughts and even conjure up new thoughts but yet when this happens a surge of anxiety rushes over me and makes me feel like I'm dying and going to hell which then in return I try to take as comfort that that means it's not really me wanting to do it I feel numb even to God. Now I have emotions come over me that I enjoy these thoughts or that I really could curse the spirit or that I do hate God which when I feel these emotions it literally makes me sick it makes me want to throw up. when it started it was only intrusive thoughts but now it's escalated to something crazy I'm like a drug addict with these thoughts I can't quit thinking them it's like my body is addicted to feeling miserable thus when it feels normal meaning I feel like myself immediately it's like my mind tries to think conjure-up blasphemous thoughts so it can feel miserable again it's an endless cycle yes I've pretty much done the whole erp thing just sat there and let it all go but it's hard it's crazy I feel trapped in addicted to these thoughts. There's times I'll sit there and it's like my mind's conjuring up a fault it's like it's trying to make a sentence. Everything I look at read I can look at my bathtub and it will conjure up a sadistic thought involving the Holy Spirit I can look at a frying pan and my mind will conjure up a file against the Holy Spirit involving a frying pan I know that sounds crazy but has anybody remotely dealt with this to this sticker 8 I understand intrusive thoughts but I also have intrusive speech while I'm constantly under my breath doing compulsions where I'll save the blasphemous thoughts and I'll put the word not on the end of it that's canceling it out I do that constantly at least a million times a day I know this is long but can anybody relate to this! also as soon as the feeder rushes over me of hell I know it's irrational but when the fear overwhelms me and I feel like I'm getting ready to die at any moment and burn in hell it's like my mind starts purposely screaming curse words against the Holy Ghost as if I'm daring God to send me to hell which of course I'm not so again can anybody remotely were late to anything I've just said!

 

[Bee22]

" I want to do is think these thoughts it's like something in me wants to think these thoughts it's not just intrusive anymore something in me wants to think then it's like there's two of me there's the person that wants to think these thoughts and even conjure up new thoughts.." @zachariahjosephturner

Yes..I understand this

 

[Mari17]

These intrusive thoughts blaspheming God are just relentless, they keep coming day in day out, morning, day and evening. They try to get me to deny, reject or blaspheme God, but I will not do it.

My prayers seem to be falling on deaf ears as well. I have no relief from these thoughts. Nothing seems to work. I reject and rebuke them in Jesus name but they still keep coming.

I just love God so much and nothing helps. I am lost. I haven't felt the Holy Spirit in days.

What should I do? This cannot go on. Please help.

This is classic OCD and must be treated as such. That doesn't mean you want or agree with the thoughts. And with ERP, you don't have to do anything you feel is wrong. Basically, you learn to recognize that your anxiety-driven OCD brain is sending you thoughts to try to get you to react. As long as you react, your brain will keep sending the thoughts. If you learn to stop reacting, your brain will (eventually) stop sending the thoughts. Right now you're doing EXACTLY what your OCD wants. Freaking out, rebuking the thoughts, asking forgiveness, cancelling them out, frantically trying to get rid of them. Those are all compulsions - things you do to try to get rid of the anxiety caused by the obsession. Those are the things that keep the obsession going. The solution, then, is to start ignoring the thoughts. Not giving any sort of reaction. Pretending they're trash that the OCD is throwing at you to try to get your attention. Instead of frantically batting the trash away (which makes the OCD bully send more), you learn to just let it fall off you. Does that mean you want it? Of course not. It means you're learning how to play against the OCD and do the opposite of what it wants you to do, instead of playing into its hand. Of course, this is way easier said than done, because we always feel like the bad thoughts/feelings are really from us, that they're dangerous, and that we have to get rid of them or we're bad people. But that's not true (even though it feels true!). Standing up to OCD is counter-intuitive, and so, so hard, but it does work.

Also, there are some articles on this site that you might find helpful. The author had a similar obsession. Welcome

 

[zachariahjosephturner]

This is classic OCD and must be treated as such. That doesn't mean you want or agree with the thoughts. And with ERP, you don't have to do anything you feel is wrong. Basically, you learn to recognize that your anxiety-driven OCD brain is sending you thoughts to try to get you to react. As long as you react, your brain will keep sending the thoughts. If you learn to stop reacting, your brain will (eventually) stop sending the thoughts. Right now you're doing EXACTLY what your OCD wants. Freaking out, rebuking the thoughts, asking forgiveness, cancelling them out, frantically trying to get rid of them. Those are all compulsions - things you do to try to get rid of the anxiety caused by the obsession. Those are the things that keep the obsession going. The solution, then, is to start ignoring the thoughts. Not giving any sort of reaction. Pretending they're trash that the OCD is throwing at you to try to get your attention. Instead of frantically batting the trash away (which makes the OCD bully send more), you learn to just let it fall off you. Does that mean you want it? Of course not. It means you're learning how to play against the OCD and do the opposite of what it wants you to do, instead of playing into its hand. Of course, this is way easier said than done, because we always feel like the bad thoughts/feelings are really from us, that they're dangerous, and that we have to get rid of them or we're bad people. But that's not true (even though it feels true!). Standing up to OCD is counter-intuitive, and so, so hard, but it does work.

Also, there are some articles on this site that you might find helpful. The author had a similar obsession. Welcome

amen I agree with that can OCD give you a form of tourette's meaning you sometimes involuntarily say the blasphemous thought or sometimes you feel like you purposely say it though deep down you have no one to really mean it and or even say it

 

[Job405]

Any advice or help???? I've been dealing with intrusive thoughts for about 6 years before all this happened I had already been 4 years into my walk with God!!! But I guess the fear of the unpardonable sin overtook me the more I tried not to think these thoughts the more they came! so here's where I'm at now I guess according to the internet I have severe depersonalization and derealization anxiety etc do not have my mind constantly cursing the spirit is almost foreign to me as it's as if my chemicals in my body have become used to feeling this way and used to having thoughts in my mind yes I pray read see can serve God at times I feel like I really feel the Lord. but just like right now all I want to do is think these thoughts it's like something in me wants to think these thoughts it's not just intrusive anymore something in me wants to think then it's like there's two of me there's the person that wants to think these thoughts and even conjure up new thoughts but yet when this happens a surge of anxiety rushes over me and makes me feel like I'm dying and going to hell which then in return I try to take as comfort that that means it's not really me wanting to do it I feel numb even to God. Now I have emotions come over me that I enjoy these thoughts or that I really could curse the spirit or that I do hate God which when I feel these emotions it literally makes me sick it makes me want to throw up. when it started it was only intrusive thoughts but now it's escalated to something crazy I'm like a drug addict with these thoughts I can't quit thinking them it's like my body is addicted to feeling miserable thus when it feels normal meaning I feel like myself immediately it's like my mind tries to think conjure-up blasphemous thoughts so it can feel miserable again it's an endless cycle yes I've pretty much done the whole erp thing just sat there and let it all go but it's hard it's crazy I feel trapped in addicted to these thoughts. There's times I'll sit there and it's like my mind's conjuring up a fault it's like it's trying to make a sentence. Everything I look at read I can look at my bathtub and it will conjure up a sadistic thought involving the Holy Spirit I can look at a frying pan and my mind will conjure up a file against the Holy Spirit involving a frying pan I know that sounds crazy but has anybody remotely dealt with this to this sticker 8 I understand intrusive thoughts but I also have intrusive speech while I'm constantly under my breath doing compulsions where I'll save the blasphemous thoughts and I'll put the word not on the end of it that's canceling it out I do that constantly at least a million times a day I know this is long but can anybody relate to this! also as soon as the feeder rushes over me of hell I know it's irrational but when the fear overwhelms me and I feel like I'm getting ready to die at any moment and burn in hell it's like my mind starts purposely screaming curse words against the Holy Ghost as if I'm daring God to send me to hell which of course I'm not so again can anybody remotely were late to anything I've just said!

Sounds rough I can relate with some of this too. Currently I am trying a new medication, SSRI, let's see if it helps.

 

[zachariahjosephturner]

" I want to do is think these thoughts it's like something in me wants to think these thoughts it's not just intrusive anymore something in me wants to think then it's like there's two of me there's the person that wants to think these thoughts and even conjure up new thoughts.." @zachariahjosephturner

Yes..I understand this

It’s absolutely horrible isn’t it it’s like no matter what you can’t quit thinking these thoughts almost as if you’ve become addicted to them like a drug at it becomes addicted to meth although within his heart and his mind he wants to stop but he finds himself using again and again and again. I feel like there’s two of me it’s like there’s an evil side of me I would’ve never in 1 million years just thought these thoughts to think then they came in voluntary and I guess with the amount of fear they produce and trying to fight them they became out of control to her now they control me and I can do nothing about it. Yes I do I still pray re-preach God‘s word but at the same time 24 seven there’s this ungodly battle !