I just signed up today. I am looking for support since I am struggling with depression. I find it so hard to talk with people in my life (other than my husband) about my struggles but I am desperate for someone to talk with when I need it. I hope this places works for me 
My struggle with depression started several years ago and I have gone up and down. This past year I have fallen into depression again. I am really struggling with anger and irrational fear. I am also struggling with my faith in the Bible and God. I am so angry all the time at everything. I just want to throw church and all social relationships away. I have stopped going to church and the idea of returning makes me feel sick. It has been hard on my husband because he still attends with our children and he wants me to come back but I just don't want to go. I feel like if I am a real Christian then why am I so angry, depressed and afraid. Living a Christian life is just too hard. I feel like I can't do it without always messing up. If I can't do it perfect I feel like I don't want to do it at all. Then there is the whole idea of how broad of a spectrum there is within Christianity. I have family that is strict and conservative. My sister thinks my church is bad because we have women in leadership positions. Then my brother thinks my church is bad because of the music. It is all so confusing to me and I struggle with defining my Christianity and life in my own way. These ideas and echos from the past are always in my mind. I struggle to push them aside and just define and live my own life.
I know I need God and my faith. I just am prideful and find battling sin is so hard. It is easier to just give up.
My struggle with depression started several years ago and I have gone up and down. This past year I have fallen into depression again. I am really struggling with anger and irrational fear. I am also struggling with my faith in the Bible and God. I am so angry all the time at everything. I just want to throw church and all social relationships away. I have stopped going to church and the idea of returning makes me feel sick. It has been hard on my husband because he still attends with our children and he wants me to come back but I just don't want to go. I feel like if I am a real Christian then why am I so angry, depressed and afraid. Living a Christian life is just too hard. I feel like I can't do it without always messing up. If I can't do it perfect I feel like I don't want to do it at all. Then there is the whole idea of how broad of a spectrum there is within Christianity. I have family that is strict and conservative. My sister thinks my church is bad because we have women in leadership positions. Then my brother thinks my church is bad because of the music. It is all so confusing to me and I struggle with defining my Christianity and life in my own way. These ideas and echos from the past are always in my mind. I struggle to push them aside and just define and live my own life.
I know I need God and my faith. I just am prideful and find battling sin is so hard. It is easier to just give up.
Hi Inky672, nice to meet you! Sorry to hear of your struggles with everything! I can totally relate to you. I too have been struggling with depression and the feelings of wanting to run away from church! It can be hard to live a Christian life whenever you feel like you are a failure and don't do things right, or good enough. We have to remember that God loves us just the way we are. The bible says that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us! He loved us as sinners! We don't have to be perfect to be accepted by Him. We need to give ourselves some slack. Jesus said that His burden was easy and His yoke was light...if it isn't then we must be putting more on ourselves than He intended us to carry. Don't give in to depression and hid yourself away. You need to be around fellow Christians and hear the Word of God preached, and be in the presence of God. Talk to God about your anger, He wants to hear of all your troubles. Sending you 
