I am a lousy date.

[Cadillac]

I was looking for some one to start a thread like this.

Here is my problem. I always wanted to date. So far in my life I only had 2 dates. One date was the only date with that girl. On the other semi-date (semi-, cause she brought her son), she just unexpectedly said she gotta go and never return any of my e-mails anymore.

Now that I have dated 2 times, I realize that as much as I want a date, I am not ready for one. We were still talking over the phone with the first girl, and once I jsut asked her if she wants to go out, she said no. When asked why, after being hesitant for fear of being a jerk, she said I am boring. We went to a dinner and then played some pool and video game in a local bowling alley.

On the second date with a second girl, I asked her a couple of questions if she was still on speaking terms with her ex-husband (she is divorced). Now please do not ride my back side on this anyone, I realized that that was incredibly stupid and probably the first sign for her to leave. I also told her I've never been in a relationship before let alone married, which, I guess didn't exactly impress a 35-year old divorced mother of two, either.

Please help me, how can I not be a boring date? When me and a date are doing things, I am completely dry out of stuff to say. I don't want to just bombard them with questions, like in some kind of interrogation. And I try best to be nice and do what the girl wants to do.

I am a total idiot when it comes to dating and know nothing. I try to get conversations going but it seems I am the only one conducting them. Or may be I shouldn't talk so much, I don't know.....

I never seem to do anything right date wise. So, help me whoever can. How should I interact with women to get them to want to go out with me again and again. If you're gonna type something like "turn to Jesus", please save the bandwidth of this forum and do not post. I need some advice and not a sound byte. Otherwise, I thank you in advance.

 

[Living Stone]

When asked why, after being hesitant for fear of being a jerk, she said I am boring.

I got that from the exwife a LOT once I stopped drinking and partying.

A little hint about that one.
If she thinks youre ''boring'', shes not your type anyway.
You deserve much better

On the second date with a second girl, I asked her a couple of questions if she was still on speaking terms with her ex-husband (she is divorced). Now please do not ride my back side on this anyone, I realized that that was incredibly stupid and probably the first sign for her to leave. I also told her I've never been in a relationship before let alone married, which, I guess didn't exactly impress a 35-year old divorced mother of two, either.

Again, if someone is judging your worth on issues like these, then trust me, theyre doing you a favor as they arent worth your time and effort

When you find someone worth being with, she is going to love you for who you are.

Women have always come at me for physical reasons, but then once they see Im quite probably more boring than you could ever be, then they either leave (good riddance) or they marry me and try to change me into some social butterfly.

The love of my life now wants me just the way I am.
She doesnt try to change me and make me be something Im not.

If you want a good relationship that has staying power, then you decide to be picky.

Youre not some inferior being or something because a few ladies dont find you to be Mr Entertainment.

You have something to offer the right woman and when she comes along (mine didnt till I was 38, by the way) you and her will just click.

I had given up on ever finding her.
I had resolved myself to being either tormented perpetually by some woman who was married to me by ceasar, but not in heart or mind. pr just being alone

I had even resolved to allow myself to just let my disorder take my life to get away from the agony of being married to someone who not only didnt love me, but seemed hellbent on destroying my soul as well.

Sir, you sound like a fine man.
Get that chin up and stop making yourself feel low because a couple women have shown that they are too shallow to look past your being boring and try to see the man inside.

And believe me, you dont want to be with a woman who wants you to entertain her.
It doesnt end there friend.

If you marry someone like that, you are consigning yourself to night after night of having to keep her entertained.
The moment you let up, marital problems will surely arise.

These are some of the very first types to commit adultery.
If you cant provide entertainment, after a while they go elsewhere.

I found my true love at 38.
Bow your head to the Father and ask Him to bring the one HE knows is your perfect match into your life.

Do this, then get up and get on with your life for now.
I had to decide that I didnt care to date or anything before God brought her to me.
Let Him know that you need Him alone, but tell Him you really want that helpmate, that companion that He said it was not good for man to be without.

He love you guy and if you will persist in being pleasing to Him and decide to wait for the one HE wants you to be with, then this shallow women youve crossed so far will lose all meaning.

I apologize if I broke the ''turn to Jesus'' item but I just want you to understand that it may not be you.
Some poeple are just shallow and want you to entertain.
If you cant, then they make you feel 2 feet tall.
You deserve much better than that.

 

[Peculiarone]

Don't be so hard on yourself mate. In due season you will have an awesome date. Just keep praying and stop looking. Believe in yourself. If they don't like you, then they weren't for you....move on. Keep loving you and in a jiffy you'll she changes.
Bless.

 

[Saviot'Valuan]

On the second date with a second girl, I asked her a couple of questions if she was still on speaking terms with her ex-husband (she is divorced). Now please do not ride my back side on this anyone, I realized that that was incredibly stupid and probably the first sign for her to leave. I also told her I've never been in a relationship before let alone married, which, I guess didn't exactly impress a 35-year old divorced mother of two, either.

I doubt this is a girl you would want to settle down with anyway.

Please help me, how can I not be a boring date? When me and a date are doing things, I am completely dry out of stuff to say. I don't want to just bombard them with questions, like in some kind of interrogation. And I try best to be nice and do what the girl wants to do.

If you have a hard time with material on the date, try to limit the time of it so it will match what material you do have. Or possibly goto a movie before to add some dinner conversation.

Maybe look for a girl at your church. Someone with similar beliefs and morals always will enable commonalities that will help a relationship. They say opposites attract, but I don't believe it will allow anything long term.

One step at a time though. Learn about her and what her interests are. Then put that into play. Take her out to do that. Most girls I know don't enjoy video games. Do something that concentrates on the two of you instead.

 

[Cherub8]

I think you're going about it all wrong. You need not be concerned with dating relationships. Just become close friends with a lady --- a lady whom you could picture yourself married to --- and take it from there. Let God write your love story.

 

[Sketcher]

Pick a lady with similar interests, maybe?