I am a backslider and I don't think I'm saved

[Sam81]

I've been on this forum before but mainly seeking knowledge, discussing prophecy, theology, those type of things. Those things have always interested me - even after I left church and fell into sexual sin. But since then, I haven't really got into any of the real Christian stuff.

I believe in Jesus - of course I don't know for sure if it's true (although I do know for sure that God exists, at least in a deist sense), but I very much believe that Christianity is completely true, and I would be willing to bet my very life right here and now that Jesus is God and rose from the dead. And I am willing to confess that to anyone and everyone forevermore. So I think I'm okay there, as far as the belief and faith aspect.

But I sinned awfully. The Bible says confess your sins to one another... but even though you are Christians this is still the internet where spite filled, willful sinners lurk (not to mention that a lot of the "Christians" on this very site are obvious heretics)...so I'm not going to go into every detail, especially because this is my real name and picture.

I got saved in a Pentecostal type, church planting, street-preaching, hardcore church when I was 18. I had been raised in a religious household - unsaved but "believers". But like a lot of young white gen-x males in the late 90s, I fell into doubt and eventually atheism.

But I had a personal experience and got saved at 18. Still full of doubt. Became baptised w/ evidence of tongues, witnessing, outreach, etc, etc.

Back slid at 21 because a girl I was courting wanted to call it quits and I was prideful, so rather than go back to the church I left completely. But I made my pastor put me out of the church, so I couldn't go back. I started drinking and smoking dope and was very unrepentant - even call his house and other people in the church while stoned - and I wasn't some new convert. I knew better. The holy ghost convicted me but I delighted in my wickedness and really made an ass of myself. Said terrible blasphemies in the very presence of the Lord and walked haughtily. And because I wasn't just some struggling newbie and actually fell back unrelentingly, my pastor put me out for a month - turned me over to Satan so to speak. But not soon enough because I drew others on my way to earth - weaker members - and spiritually felled them as well, on my way down. Funny how the story of the spirit filled backslider reminds you of someone - and I had seen it before in others and said, these people are gone. Hope for the backslider but not the spirit filled one.

And for the longest time I didn't give two craps. I fornicated, committed adultery, and did everything I could to win worldly favor - even if it meant exhibitionism, and ultimately, abusing the bodies of homosexual men. Which I have also committed, having been turned over to shameful desires.

And do I care even now? I don't know.

I do feel like I have a heart towards Jesus and the things of God - I can still cry at a good Jesus movie. But I honestly don't know at this point if there is any hope left for me at all because only God knows the heart. I cry out - and I have repented of the most foul sins. No longer can I look at smut online or think hatefully about another human person...I would feel so guilty and fear God. Where has this come from? I don't want to sin anymore. I want to be right with God so bad.

But where am I now? Medication addled, my body fails due to abuse, I smoke cigarettes and spent too much time playing video games and absorbed into political, worldly stuff. Do I commit "blatant" sins anymore? I don't think I do - not anymore. I fear God again. Do I commit sins that I know are wrong? Yes. Do I feel God wants me to repent and stop doing these things...meds, cigs, games, political obsessions? Yes. Will I? Probably...no.

I think I'm lost. I'm dead inside. I am obviously an unsaved man and a grievous sinner. Let this be a warning. When you get saved to begin with, it's your choice to make. And it's like walking on water - at first, you're not - but then...you are. And it's so easy.

Backslide, and you're that sheep in the ditch ...you can't pull yourself out. You're Jonah in the whale. It's no longer up to you anymore. And you're going to feel the full weight of the cross if you ever try to come back because God will have no patience with you...the things you ceased the first time...put them away gradually, one by one...but you can't do it all at once - but now you have to...so either God's gonna reach in and save you or He will not. And a lot of the time, He doesn't. Don't paralyze yourself only to watch the clock tick-away towards eternity, filled with fear and helplessness. You better stay right the first time or you will perish. And that's a fact.

I can only hope the Lord has mercy upon me.

 

[Doug Melven]

I waited patiently for the LORD and He heard my cry, He dragged me up out of the horrible pit, out of the miry clay.
He set my feet upon a Rock, He established my steps, He has put a new song in my mouth.Psalms 40:1-3

This is my personal testimony.
Here are some of the details.
I got saved back in 81 and then backslid.
Sunday after Sunday I would be at the altar confessing my sin and resolving to do better.
Finally, I told God that if I fell again I would not get back up. And of course I fell, and I stayed down for 22 years.
Then while sitting in jail looking at 4 1/2 - 20 years God convicted me about getting back. I told Him I couldn't do it because I knew I would just fall again. He reminded me of Phil 4:13.
Right then and there I rededicated my life to God. That was over 10 years and He has been faithful.

You can never fall so far that God can't reach you.
Nothing can separate you from His love.
Trust His love for you and remember you are still His child.

 

[Kenny'sID]

If you want some straight up advice, I'd dump the cigs, it appears you have already repented of the other stuff, and that's all that is required...repent.

The video games and such, I wouldn't worry about at this time, but only as you may or may not feel the need to quit those. IOW, give yourself something that isn't necessarily sin to help you through, so your return isn't such a shock to the system that you give up, then strive to get back on track, I mean where you are sure you're on track...no question as it appears to be now..

Living in sin is so uncomfortable once you are sure of the truth, and it appears you are sure of it. Sure, you can be on again, off again, but it'll just make you miserable. And then there is the chance you will be "off again" when you die or Christ returns, and you don't want to chance that.

Get your peace of mind back, get it together, be happy and sure you are back in Gods favor, you'll be glad you did.

 

[Christfan]

Look at the biggest backslider - Solomon. It will be pretty hard to out do him yet he was saved. Even if you did one up him, you can’t use up God’s patience that he has towards those who are saved. You’ll just get bashed on the head with the rod of discipline that comes with earthly punishment/consequences. Being convicted of your sins is a good thing. Trust in Jesus’ promise that his righteousness grants you salvation, not yours.

 

[Deidre32]

I left the faith like roughly five years ago, and identified as an atheist for a little while, and then came back to faith. I understand what you're feeling, and back sliding is not uncommon. If you want to know God's love, just keep your heart open. I didn't really decide to return to the faith, to be honest. I had a Holy Spirit experience, and then I came back. I believe that there are always messages and signs that God is showing us, and it's up to us to see them, for what they are. I hope this helps a little.

 

[Deidre32]

...duplicate post

 

[Job3315]

I've been on this forum before but mainly seeking knowledge, discussing prophecy, theology, those type of things. Those things have always interested me - even after I left church and fell into sexual sin. But since then, I haven't really got into any of the real Christian stuff.

I believe in Jesus - of course I don't know for sure if it's true (although I do know for sure that God exists, at least in a deist sense), but I very much believe that Christianity is completely true, and I would be willing to bet my very life right here and now that Jesus is God and rose from the dead. And I am willing to confess that to anyone and everyone forevermore. So I think I'm okay there, as far as the belief and faith aspect.

But I sinned awfully. The Bible says confess your sins to one another... but even though you are Christians this is still the internet where spite filled, willful sinners lurk (not to mention that a lot of the "Christians" on this very site are obvious heretics)...so I'm not going to go into every detail, especially because this is my real name and picture.

I got saved in a Pentecostal type, church planting, street-preaching, hardcore church when I was 18. I had been raised in a religious household - unsaved but "believers". But like a lot of young white gen-x males in the late 90s, I fell into doubt and eventually atheism.

But I had a personal experience and got saved at 18. Still full of doubt. Became baptised w/ evidence of tongues, witnessing, outreach, etc, etc.

Back slid at 21 because a girl I was courting wanted to call it quits and I was prideful, so rather than go back to the church I left completely. But I made my pastor put me out of the church, so I couldn't go back. I started drinking and smoking dope and was very unrepentant - even call his house and other people in the church while stoned - and I wasn't some new convert. I knew better. The holy ghost convicted me but I delighted in my wickedness and really made an ass of myself. Said terrible blasphemies in the very presence of the Lord and walked haughtily. And because I wasn't just some struggling newbie and actually fell back unrelentingly, my pastor put me out for a month - turned me over to Satan so to speak. But not soon enough because I drew others on my way to earth - weaker members - and spiritually felled them as well, on my way down. Funny how the story of the spirit filled backslider reminds you of someone - and I had seen it before in others and said, these people are gone. Hope for the backslider but not the spirit filled one.

And for the longest time I didn't give two craps. I fornicated, committed adultery, and did everything I could to win worldly favor - even if it meant exhibitionism, and ultimately, abusing the bodies of homosexual men. Which I have also committed, having been turned over to shameful desires.

And do I care even now? I don't know.

I do feel like I have a heart towards Jesus and the things of God - I can still cry at a good Jesus movie. But I honestly don't know at this point if there is any hope left for me at all because only God knows the heart. I cry out - and I have repented of the most foul sins. No longer can I look at smut online or think hatefully about another human person...I would feel so guilty and fear God. Where has this come from? I don't want to sin anymore. I want to be right with God so bad.

But where am I now? Medication addled, my body fails due to abuse, I smoke cigarettes and spent too much time playing video games and absorbed into political, worldly stuff. Do I commit "blatant" sins anymore? I don't think I do - not anymore. I fear God again. Do I commit sins that I know are wrong? Yes. Do I feel God wants me to repent and stop doing these things...meds, cigs, games, political obsessions? Yes. Will I? Probably...no.

I think I'm lost. I'm dead inside. I am obviously an unsaved man and a grievous sinner. Let this be a warning. When you get saved to begin with, it's your choice to make. And it's like walking on water - at first, you're not - but then...you are. And it's so easy.

Backslide, and you're that sheep in the ditch ...you can't pull yourself out. You're Jonah in the whale. It's no longer up to you anymore. And you're going to feel the full weight of the cross if you ever try to come back because God will have no patience with you...the things you ceased the first time...put them away gradually, one by one...but you can't do it all at once - but now you have to...so either God's gonna reach in and save you or He will not. And a lot of the time, He doesn't. Don't paralyze yourself only to watch the clock tick-away towards eternity, filled with fear and helplessness. You better stay right the first time or you will perish. And that's a fact.

I can only hope the Lord has mercy upon me.

This might help you see things differently...

 

[CGL1023]

I've been on this forum before but mainly seeking knowledge, discussing prophecy, theology, those type of things. Those things have always interested me - even after I left church and fell into sexual sin. But since then, I haven't really got into any of the real Christian stuff.

I believe in Jesus - of course I don't know for sure if it's true (although I do know for sure that God exists, at least in a deist sense), but I very much believe that Christianity is completely true, and I would be willing to bet my very life right here and now that Jesus is God and rose from the dead. And I am willing to confess that to anyone and everyone forevermore. So I think I'm okay there, as far as the belief and faith aspect.

But I sinned awfully. The Bible says confess your sins to one another... but even though you are Christians this is still the internet where spite filled, willful sinners lurk (not to mention that a lot of the "Christians" on this very site are obvious heretics)...so I'm not going to go into every detail, especially because this is my real name and picture.

I got saved in a Pentecostal type, church planting, street-preaching, hardcore church when I was 18. I had been raised in a religious household - unsaved but "believers". But like a lot of young white gen-x males in the late 90s, I fell into doubt and eventually atheism.

But I had a personal experience and got saved at 18. Still full of doubt. Became baptised w/ evidence of tongues, witnessing, outreach, etc, etc.

Back slid at 21 because a girl I was courting wanted to call it quits and I was prideful, so rather than go back to the church I left completely. But I made my pastor put me out of the church, so I couldn't go back. I started drinking and smoking dope and was very unrepentant - even call his house and other people in the church while stoned - and I wasn't some new convert. I knew better. The holy ghost convicted me but I delighted in my wickedness and really made an ass of myself. Said terrible blasphemies in the very presence of the Lord and walked haughtily. And because I wasn't just some struggling newbie and actually fell back unrelentingly, my pastor put me out for a month - turned me over to Satan so to speak. But not soon enough because I drew others on my way to earth - weaker members - and spiritually felled them as well, on my way down. Funny how the story of the spirit filled backslider reminds you of someone - and I had seen it before in others and said, these people are gone. Hope for the backslider but not the spirit filled one.

And for the longest time I didn't give two craps. I fornicated, committed adultery, and did everything I could to win worldly favor - even if it meant exhibitionism, and ultimately, abusing the bodies of homosexual men. Which I have also committed, having been turned over to shameful desires.

And do I care even now? I don't know.

I do feel like I have a heart towards Jesus and the things of God - I can still cry at a good Jesus movie. But I honestly don't know at this point if there is any hope left for me at all because only God knows the heart. I cry out - and I have repented of the most foul sins. No longer can I look at smut online or think hatefully about another human person...I would feel so guilty and fear God. Where has this come from? I don't want to sin anymore. I want to be right with God so bad.

But where am I now? Medication addled, my body fails due to abuse, I smoke cigarettes and spent too much time playing video games and absorbed into political, worldly stuff. Do I commit "blatant" sins anymore? I don't think I do - not anymore. I fear God again. Do I commit sins that I know are wrong? Yes. Do I feel God wants me to repent and stop doing these things...meds, cigs, games, political obsessions? Yes. Will I? Probably...no.

I think I'm lost. I'm dead inside. I am obviously an unsaved man and a grievous sinner. Let this be a warning. When you get saved to begin with, it's your choice to make. And it's like walking on water - at first, you're not - but then...you are. And it's so easy.

Backslide, and you're that sheep in the ditch ...you can't pull yourself out. You're Jonah in the whale. It's no longer up to you anymore. And you're going to feel the full weight of the cross if you ever try to come back because God will have no patience with you...the things you ceased the first time...put them away gradually, one by one...but you can't do it all at once - but now you have to...so either God's gonna reach in and save you or He will not. And a lot of the time, He doesn't. Don't paralyze yourself only to watch the clock tick-away towards eternity, filled with fear and helplessness. You better stay right the first time or you will perish. And that's a fact.

I can only hope the Lord has mercy upon me.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here is a list of the verses stating, in various forms, that you have whatever you say. It is better not to confess what you are confessing unless you want it to be true in your life.

Matthew 18:19 New King James Version (NKJV)
19 “Again[a] I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven.
Matthew 21:22 New King James Version (NKJV)
22 And whatever things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive.”
Mark 11:24 New King James Version (NKJV)
24 Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.
John 14:13 New King James Version (NKJV)
13 And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.
John 15:7 New King James Version (NKJV)
7 If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you[a] will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you.
John 15:16 New King James Version (NKJV)
16 You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you.
John 16:23-24 New King James Version (NKJV)
23 “And in that day you will ask Me nothing. Most assuredly, I say to you, whatever you ask the Father in My name He will give you. 24 Until now you have asked nothing in My name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full.
James 1:5-6 New King James Version (NKJV)
5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. 6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.
James 1:17 New King James Version (NKJV)
17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.
1 John 3:22 New King James Version (NKJV)
22 And whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight.
1 John 5:14-15 New King James Version (NKJV)
Confidence and Compassion in Prayer
14 Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. 15 And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him.

 

[Sam81]

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here is a list of the verses stating, in various forms, that you have whatever you say. It is better not to confess what you are confessing unless you want it to be true in your life.

It's already true, CGL. That's the point. If one doesn't already know they are damned due to sin, how can they find in Christ a Savior? This seems true even for a backslider; the prodigal son had no delusions that he was dining on loin. Should he call slop by another name?

 

[Romansthruphilemon]

 

[Romansthruphilemon]

 

[Sam81]

Interesting thoughts and I agree with much of it - though I do have a few questions (the first one is way off subject, so forgive me):

I see no problems with women teaching or preaching in the world - but how do you feel about a woman pastoring a church? How do you feel about unmarried (incomplete) men pastoring a church? I was brought up in a church that taught against both. They didn't necessarily "condemn" either of them, but taught against these things, as a healthy practice. Certain exceptions were granted historically but it was generally considered a bad practice for either to happen, as they are in no way optimal, and bad can easily spring from such. Would you agree with this?

If deliverance from sin is regenerative after salvation, and it takes place over time - what do people need to be saved from? Of course, sin. But how do they know this when being saved if you don't point the sin out in them? Peter stood up and called them heathens. "REPENT!" Was the the Gospel of Peter, big time. Peter was very bold and hardcore and straight up told people they were going straight to hell. The wages of sin is death - don't they have to be informed that they are grievous sinners and are going to split hell wide open? Where is the need for a savior? How much of the focus should be on the sin? The reason I ask is because you will inevitably deal with people who don't think what they are doing is sin...it's okay to drink (Jesus made wine) it's okay to fornicate (Jesus forgave sexual sin and God made us this way), or they are religious (but obviously not saved) and they claim they are living right for God yet you can see the sin in their own life. Doesn't some of the focus have to be on what these people need deliverance from in the first place? How do you go about pointing this out without giving the impression that... A) they have to repent of everything now, or B) they can continue sinning, no problem. Where is the fine line drawn here?

 

[Romansthruphilemon]

Hi Sam,

I would like to stick to the subject at hand because everything else pales in comparison to the issue of wether you are saved or not.

Your question- "How much focus should be on the sin?" Once a person realizes that they are a sinner, and are condemned, then the focus needs to be on the savior. Repenting of their sins will make their earthly life better, but it is not going to save them. Trusting 100% on the savior, on his death, burial, and resurrection for their sins, is the only thing that is going to save them.

Gal 3:24,25 Wherefore the law was our schoolmaster to bring us unto Christ, that we might be justified by faith. But after that faith is come, we are no longer under a schoolmaster.

Gal 5:2,3,4 Behold, I Paul say unto you, that if ye be circumcised, Christ shall profit you nothing. For I testify again to every man that is circumcised, that he is a debtor to do the whole law. Christ is become of no effect unto you, whosoever of you are justified by the law; ye are fallen from grace.

If sin is transgression of the law then repenting of your sins is trying to keep the law, and under the law no flesh shall be justified.

Adding repent of your sins as a requirement to be saved is a false gospel. For all who believe that have to do it perfectly. They are debtors to do the whole law and if they offend in any point they are guilty of all.

The part you, part Jesus gospel is a false gospel.

After reading your OP again I have to strongly disagree with your statement "you better stay right the first time or you will perish".

You will have consequences for sin in this life, but if you have trusted in Christ you are sealed unto the day of redemption.

 

[Sam81]

OK this is just embarrassing. I was just having a bad day. Of course I'm saved. I love Jesus and want to do the things that please God.

 

[Sam81]

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here is a list of the verses stating, in various forms, that you have whatever you say. It is better not to confess what you are confessing unless you want it to be true in your life.

Matthew 18:19 New King James Version (NKJV)
19 “Again[a] I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven.
Matthew 21:22 New King James Version (NKJV)
22 And whatever things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive.”
Mark 11:24 New King James Version (NKJV)
24 Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.
John 14:13 New King James Version (NKJV)
13 And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.
John 15:7 New King James Version (NKJV)
7 If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you[a] will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you.
John 15:16 New King James Version (NKJV)
16 You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you.
John 16:23-24 New King James Version (NKJV)
23 “And in that day you will ask Me nothing. Most assuredly, I say to you, whatever you ask the Father in My name He will give you. 24 Until now you have asked nothing in My name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full.
James 1:5-6 New King James Version (NKJV)
5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. 6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.
James 1:17 New King James Version (NKJV)
17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.
1 John 3:22 New King James Version (NKJV)
22 And whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight.
1 John 5:14-15 New King James Version (NKJV)
Confidence and Compassion in Prayer
14 Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. 15 And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him.

Of course it's true what you said. I'm an idiot. Saved Christians don't go around saying "I'm going to hell" unless something is wrong in their lives. I was just having a weak time of things and was stupid and lacking faith.

 

[FutureAndAHope]

I've been on this forum before but mainly seeking knowledge, discussing prophecy, theology, those type of things. Those things have always interested me - even after I left church and fell into sexual sin. But since then, I haven't really got into any of the real Christian stuff.

I believe in Jesus - of course I don't know for sure if it's true (although I do know for sure that God exists, at least in a deist sense), but I very much believe that Christianity is completely true, and I would be willing to bet my very life right here and now that Jesus is God and rose from the dead. And I am willing to confess that to anyone and everyone forevermore. So I think I'm okay there, as far as the belief and faith aspect.

But I sinned awfully. The Bible says confess your sins to one another... but even though you are Christians this is still the internet where spite filled, willful sinners lurk (not to mention that a lot of the "Christians" on this very site are obvious heretics)...so I'm not going to go into every detail, especially because this is my real name and picture.

I got saved in a Pentecostal type, church planting, street-preaching, hardcore church when I was 18. I had been raised in a religious household - unsaved but "believers". But like a lot of young white gen-x males in the late 90s, I fell into doubt and eventually atheism.

But I had a personal experience and got saved at 18. Still full of doubt. Became baptised w/ evidence of tongues, witnessing, outreach, etc, etc.

Back slid at 21 because a girl I was courting wanted to call it quits and I was prideful, so rather than go back to the church I left completely. But I made my pastor put me out of the church, so I couldn't go back. I started drinking and smoking dope and was very unrepentant - even call his house and other people in the church while stoned - and I wasn't some new convert. I knew better. The holy ghost convicted me but I delighted in my wickedness and really made an ass of myself. Said terrible blasphemies in the very presence of the Lord and walked haughtily. And because I wasn't just some struggling newbie and actually fell back unrelentingly, my pastor put me out for a month - turned me over to Satan so to speak. But not soon enough because I drew others on my way to earth - weaker members - and spiritually felled them as well, on my way down. Funny how the story of the spirit filled backslider reminds you of someone - and I had seen it before in others and said, these people are gone. Hope for the backslider but not the spirit filled one.

And for the longest time I didn't give two craps. I fornicated, committed adultery, and did everything I could to win worldly favor - even if it meant exhibitionism, and ultimately, abusing the bodies of homosexual men. Which I have also committed, having been turned over to shameful desires.

And do I care even now? I don't know.

I do feel like I have a heart towards Jesus and the things of God - I can still cry at a good Jesus movie. But I honestly don't know at this point if there is any hope left for me at all because only God knows the heart. I cry out - and I have repented of the most foul sins. No longer can I look at smut online or think hatefully about another human person...I would feel so guilty and fear God. Where has this come from? I don't want to sin anymore. I want to be right with God so bad.

But where am I now? Medication addled, my body fails due to abuse, I smoke cigarettes and spent too much time playing video games and absorbed into political, worldly stuff. Do I commit "blatant" sins anymore? I don't think I do - not anymore. I fear God again. Do I commit sins that I know are wrong? Yes. Do I feel God wants me to repent and stop doing these things...meds, cigs, games, political obsessions? Yes. Will I? Probably...no.

I think I'm lost. I'm dead inside. I am obviously an unsaved man and a grievous sinner. Let this be a warning. When you get saved to begin with, it's your choice to make. And it's like walking on water - at first, you're not - but then...you are. And it's so easy.

Backslide, and you're that sheep in the ditch ...you can't pull yourself out. You're Jonah in the whale. It's no longer up to you anymore. And you're going to feel the full weight of the cross if you ever try to come back because God will have no patience with you...the things you ceased the first time...put them away gradually, one by one...but you can't do it all at once - but now you have to...so either God's gonna reach in and save you or He will not. And a lot of the time, He doesn't. Don't paralyze yourself only to watch the clock tick-away towards eternity, filled with fear and helplessness. You better stay right the first time or you will perish. And that's a fact.

I can only hope the Lord has mercy upon me.

Hi,

I have been cutting and pasting the following text in quite a few posts lately, but it just so happens that it may help you from a doctrinal point to know that God has forgiven you. When you return to God he returns to you.

Heb 9:27-28 Just as man is destined to die once, and after that to face judgment, so Christ was sacrificed once to take away the sins of many people;

So what did that just say, man dies once, so in like manner Jesus dies once. So from my rendering that is a life for a life, one life time of sins for one sacrifice. We don’t face judgment until after we die. A further verse that supports the idea that sin is covered for a life time is the following

1Jn 5:16 If any man see his brother sin a sin which is not unto death, he shall ask, and he shall give him life for them that sin not unto death. There is a sin unto death: I do not say that he shall pray for it.
Note that Paul says that any sin that is not taken to the grave is forgivable, we are just not to pray for peoples sins once they die. It means that if God has left us alive he is seeking eternal life for us, he wants us restored. We are to pray for life for the sinning believer while they live. It is only if you die in sin that it is too late.

How forgivable is sin, and once we receive the Holy Spirit are we a super being incapable of sinning? First we must go to a verse directed to those who HAD received the Holy Spirit and it says:

1Jn 1:7-9 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

So firstly he said “if we claim to be with out sin”, or the devil tells you were 100% with out sin, and have now stuffed up, we should quote that verse, “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us” but what else does it say God is “is faithful and just and will forgive”, and to forgive “all sin”. Faithfulness means a person sticks by us even when we don’t do the right thing. Justice is doing what is fair. God sees it as fair to forgive a person seeking repentance, to deny a person the right to forgiveness is unfair, but note God is both faithful and just. And furthermore what of the verse below:

1Jn 2:1-2 My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world.

But if anyone does sin, we have one who speaks in our defence, so Jesus is actually defending you. Note he is the sacrifice for “our sins”, not just the unbelievers sins. So a Christian can sin and be justified. Remember what Jesus said to his disciples when they asked how many times their brother could sin and still be forgiven.

Mat 18:21-22 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times”.

The above verse means infinitely, all the time. When a brother in Christ wants repentance God said “forgive them”. God does the same with any sin he forgives when ever we ask.

And what about the book of James, referring to Christians who have gone back to sin:

Jas 5:19-20 My brothers, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring him back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins.

So if some one moves away from God, wanders into error, and sin they can be bought back to repentance. Also the bible says in Ezekiel

Eze 18:23 Have I any pleasure at all that the wicked should die? saith the Lord GOD: and not that he should return from his ways, and live?
Eze 18:31-32 Rid yourselves of all the offenses you have committed, and get a new heart and a new spirit. Why will you die, O house of Israel? For I take no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Sovereign LORD. Repent and live!

What God, does not delight in the death of anyone, so he is not delighting in sinners perishing. He says “Why will you die?”, there is no need to die, all we need to do is repent, change our thinking, and we will have life. Again he says:

2Pe 3:9 The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

So if we confess our sin, it is pardonable, why well the sacrifice of Jesus is available today. Why well God is “faithful and just”, “not willing that anyone perish”, taking “no pleasure in the death of anyone”. But remember it is a life for a life, once for all sin, in the same way it is appointed for man to die once and face the judgment. Jesus death only paid for this life’s sins, if we don’t repent before we die, there is no sacrifice for eternal sin, Jesus died in the flesh, not the Spirit, he did not suffer hell for us, only death in the body. But hey don’t be scared if you are alive and reading this there is no problem. The only sin that will kill you is totally unrepentant sin, not willing to come back for forgiveness no matter what God says, and if you have that sort you are probably not even interested in reading this page. God is not unjust, he is faithful. Ask God to restore his relationship with you, and he will not cast you out. You will be saved. I will finish with a verse and an idea, the bible says:

Luke 11:13 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?

Just think for a moment, I am an earthly father and I have a son, do you think that if my son spoke something bad against me, or even said "I no longer want you as my father", would I cease to have compassion on him. I would certainly still love him. God says that he is kinder than us, more loving, not less loving. He even calls our love in comparison to his evil. The bible says "how much more", will the Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him. Ask God for his Spirit, and he will give it, he certainly won't deny you salvation based upon any decision you have made, it is His faithfulness and love that keeps us secure not our past.

 

[sea5763]

I think you should read the whole chapter of Ezekiel 18. It talks about what you're concerned about. It basically says that at any point a righteous person turns to wickedness, then none of his righteous deeds will be remembered and he will die, and if a wicked turns from their wickedness to righteousness then he will live. Specifically Ezekiel 18:21-24.

 

[sold4christ25]

I waited patiently for the LORD and He heard my cry, He dragged me up out of the horrible pit, out of the miry clay.
He set my feet upon a Rock, He established my steps, He has put a new song in my mouth.Psalms 40:1-3

This is my personal testimony.
Here are some of the details.
I got saved back in 81 and then backslid.
Sunday after Sunday I would be at the altar confessing my sin and resolving to do better.
Finally, I told God that if I fell again I would not get back up. And of course I fell, and I stayed down for 22 years.
Then while sitting in jail looking at 4 1/2 - 20 years God convicted me about getting back. I told Him I couldn't do it because I knew I would just fall again. He reminded me of Phil 4:13.
Right then and there I rededicated my life to God. That was over 10 years and He has been faithful.

You can never fall so far that God can't reach you.
Nothing can separate you from His love.
Trust His love for you and remember you are still His child.

 

[sold4christ25]

Hey brother,

Can I ask a question? When you said " I stayed down for 22 years".....were you living a life of sin in those 22 years ( after being a born again believer ) and then came back to the Lord?

Thanks in advance. Just want to know if someone else can relate.

I also got baptized and accepted jesus as my lord and savior but then went in and out of a lifestyle of sin for many years ( going back to pot, drinking, worldliness in general, etc) . I would go on for a few years then stop and try to give up all my sins ( which maybe lasted a few months or years then I would go back and on and off like that for maybe a course of 15 to 20 years after I got saved. And then of course they're were periods of falling but like normal veeryday battles where I had to say " the Lord still washes me clean " but sometimes all the falling just has me dwelling on whether or not I'm actually sorry and if I've just pushed the limit of gods grace too much now.

That's why I asked about it you also lived in sin for thos 22 years and then came back to God.

Thanks again.

Solomon

 

[sold4christ25]

Hey brother,

Can I ask a question? When you said " I stayed down for 22 years".....were you living a life of sin in those 22 years ( after being a born again believer ) and then came back to the Lord?

Thanks in advance. Just want to know if someone else can relate.

I also got baptized and accepted jesus as my lord and savior but then went in and out of a lifestyle of sin for many years ( going back to pot, drinking, worldliness in general, etc) . I would go on for a few years then stop and try to give up all my sins ( which maybe lasted a few months or years then I would go back and on and off like that for maybe a course of 15 to 20 years after I got saved. And then of course they're were periods of falling but like normal veeryday battles where I had to say " the Lord still washes me clean " but sometimes all the falling just has me dwelling on whether or not I'm actually sorry and if I've just pushed the limit of gods grace too much now.

That's why I asked about it you also lived in sin for thos 22 years and then came back to God.

Thanks again.

Solomon

I waited patiently for the LORD and He heard my cry, He dragged me up out of the horrible pit, out of the miry clay.
He set my feet upon a Rock, He established my steps, He has put a new song in my mouth.Psalms 40:1-3

This is my personal testimony.
Here are some of the details.
I got saved back in 81 and then backslid.
Sunday after Sunday I would be at the altar confessing my sin and resolving to do better.
Finally, I told God that if I fell again I would not get back up. And of course I fell, and I stayed down for 22 years.
Then while sitting in jail looking at 4 1/2 - 20 years God convicted me about getting back. I told Him I couldn't do it because I knew I would just fall again. He reminded me of Phil 4:13.
Right then and there I rededicated my life to God. That was over 10 years and He has been faithful.

You can never fall so far that God can't reach you.
Nothing can separate you from His love.
Trust His love for you and remember you are still His child.