I almost hit myself again......

[aflower4God]

[NOTE: COULD BE A TRIGGER]
Hello all,
A dear sweet loving sister suggested for me to come here and pour my feelings out.
See in 2002-2003 I really started to hurt myself. I had many breakdowns and I hit myself. <edit>IT WAS HORRIBLE. So my doctor put me on SSRI's. I got a lot better.
Recently things changed. About a few weeks ago I started up again with hitting myself in the head and abusing sugar just only to feel sick. <edit>
I have been having thoughts about hitting myself when things get bad again. BUT cause of prayers I have been blessed to NOT do that again, but it is daily fight for me.
I want you all to know that you are not alone and I try to take EACH MOEMENT at a time.
Anyway, right before a nap I was laying in bed thinking about doing this to myself again cause of a post someone made to me that I am pretty sure they were mocking me (I am sure they hate me so much cause of a vicious rumor about me and I have lost a few "friends" cause of cunning lies). I started feeling that this person wanted me dead and I was so close to hurting myself as in hit myself in the head, I prayed to GOD to stop it. I did NOT want to do it again.
Well I was going to write about it (this person and their nastiness towards me) and God crashed the internet, I don't know what He did but just like that the internet would not work. NO ONE was home using bandwith and my computer has been allowing me to come online, but not this time. So I settled a bit down and laid in my bed turning my thoughts away from this hurtful person. I then fell asleep. PRAISE GOD!
Anyway, PLEASE PRAY to God every time or any time you feel the urge to hurt yourself. PLEASE my dear brothers and sisters HE CAN fix it.
God bless you all and KNOW I am praying for all of you.

 

[Broken Hearted]

(((FLOWER))) Im glad you feel asleep with out doing it agian to yourself. Did you check the stickys out on the page. It does have wonderful tips that can help divert your urges. Its a struggle that can get easier somtimes and then when things go wrong alot of times your urges will come back. Its a way you developed a coping skill to handle things. Now its time to find other healthy copings to replace those bad ones. It wont be easy but you got to stay strong and try everytime till you find that one thing that can help ease the distress when you get to that point. I love ya Flower and Im always here anytime you need to message me. HUGS and Many Prayers and LOVE

 

[Celticroots]

I self-harm by hitting myself also. You're not alone. Prayers and hugs to you!