I accept my illness

[dabro]

Day and night. i am taunted by my voices.....I am stopping over analyzing whether it's my inner voice or not because clearly it is a auditory voice. Tell me to shut up and stop it. Then I have a voice that is like a angel encourage me to go for my dreams and encourages me to always do what is right. Did I make up my own God in my head and worship that instead of the true King I clearly see it was manic episode and before when I thought is was God's joy, I always wanted to go back to that but, now I see what is truly under the surface hate that high now. It kinda makes me sick to my stomach. And last night was the first time that I could feel the chains of mental and spiritual slavery breaking. I hope I didn't damage the gospel of Christ by being manic and preaching to everyone. May I turn to the word of God instead of voices that condemn and praise.



I could feel my body and mind shift into euphoria and as i was starting to get delusional last night about my ex, I caught myself and said something ain't right. I finally realized that i was going manic. There are alot of people with BP that have severe gory warped nightmares before they go off the deep end. I have had them for two year's now almost everyday.



Last night I felt like I could freely walk away from God and feel no pain. So one hour I'm high and praising God that He has a plan for me then the next hour I'm wanting to walk away......You know BP or whatever this illness is. I hope to God that I am not counted for the damage I may have done thru preaching while in the High hypomanic state from 06 to 08.

 

[Loven God]

We go through many things with bipolar and the greatest thing is God is a all forgiving God he knows our heart and mind . I would not dwell on what had happened to much just pray and ask for forgiveness and know that it is done . You may feel like walking away from God but He will never walk away from you . Just keep loving Him no matter what happens and know He loves you right back even more .

 

[Ludicrus]

When I start "feeling" something is getting way off, I just simply ask the Lord, "Lord, no matter what, just please don't let me turn my back on You, in Jesus name I ask it."

As for the nightmares, I don't have them anymore. That's spiritual warfare. Today, I can actually tell what is demonic in the type of dream it is.

 

[Loven God]

You can pray over them dreams as well . There is nothing that God can not stop . Are you remembering to pray over them dreams ? Satan can only win if we yet him , when God is on our side who can be against us , no one !!!