Husband is always too sleepy for sex

[The1Nonly]

Ok. My husband and I have been married for almost 2yrs. He is a sweet guy, he does a lot of things for me, around the house, for family and friends. I mean he does A LOT. he has two jobs, and taking 2 classes. but one of his job is only on fri and sat night. So with that full load of schedule he get very tired.

ok here is the problem: I feel like my sex drive is hi everyday and my husband isn't. I would like to make love to him at least 3x a week. but that happens once every 3 month. He is always tired, tried talking to him but keep going back to the same old thing once a week. Its hard for me to initiate sex when he fall asleep quick.

What should I do....Thank you for reading and replying

*****NO NEED to read below unless u want more details******






At times i am too shy to initiate sex, because when he come to bed he falls alseep in second.and he sleep on his belly. and i don't feel like waking him up and asking for sex. I'm not that experience in initiating sex to wake him up from his sleep.Not that he will get made. I just don't know what to do or say if he wakes up. but When he fall asleep on his back then I get a lil boast of encouragement to initiate sex. When we do have sex (once a week) its him who initiate. and as i said already i will initiate if he laying on his back.

I've talked to him about it before and he say its because he is tired from work. but there are times when he doesn't go to work and we still don't make love till later during the week, when he wants to.

I'm so upset about this at night that i lose sleep .I don't see anything wrong with wanting to make love to my husband more than once a week.. i've tried wearing sexy clothes, nothing, naked, nothing.


So all i want to know is what do i do.
Should I just keep trying to initiate sex till i get comfortable with it, that i will ask whenever i'm in the mood. I came to the conclusion that the reason he doesn't ask is because he wants me to initiate. I've read somewhere that men like it when women initiate. but i would rather he does it, but again I think he is already working too hard and that I should sometimes do it.

or should i just leave alone and pray about it and just deal with what is giving me............................................thank u for reading

 

[If Not For Grace]

Maybe Sex in the AM would be an option?

 

[CrashTestPoster]

Maybe if you help him out with some of these tasks, things will be easier for him. Also, your marital relationship is more important than housework or helping out friends/family, so if he places your relationship at a higher priority, his tiredness will not be so much of a problem. You can get the big guns out and refer to 1 Corinthians 7, but that might be overkill.

Don't be demanding. You're his wife. Not his boss. This should be something you discuss and agree about together. If he's such a sweet guy, he'll listen to you.

 

[iambren]

If he falls asleep in seconds he may be overworked, he may be lying to avoid you, or he could be afflicted with a sleep apnea problem. A sleep disorder can be draining (and they fall asleep ANYWHERE like this) so that's one thing to explore.
If he simply has a low libido (or low testosterone) relative to yours you must strive to happily compromise. Please don't ignore this, the crack will widen and ruin your marriage in time.

 

[dayhiker]

Does he need to work that many hours to pay the bills?

I'm with If... Can you have sex early in the day?

 

[SilkRainn]

I've read somewhere that men like it when women initiate.

All men like being desired, not all like it when the woman initiates it. Instead of reading about other people's sex life, I think you should ask him about his.

Stress on his end could account of his lack of sex drive. Is there anything on your end? Nagging, messy house, no cooking, no effort to look sexy, no marital flirting? Does he desire sex acts that you ignore or protest? Is initiating sex in your marriage just asking for sex, or do you try to seduce him?

Maybe its not even very complicated and he's just simply stressed. He's a provider and ensuring a future for his family, give him a break.

 

[Kapriseo]

All men like being desired, not all like it when the woman initiates it. Instead of reading about other people's sex life, I think you should ask him about his.

Stress on his end could account of his lack of sex drive. Is there anything on your end? Nagging, messy house, no cooking, no effort to look sexy, no marital flirting? Does he desire sex acts that you ignore or protest? Is initiating sex in your marriage just asking for sex, or do you try to seduce him?

Maybe its not even very complicated and he's just simply stressed. He's a provider and ensuring a future for his family, give him a break.

Well I'm not a man but I've heard men say they are never too tired for sex. Lol ,but its best to talk to him and find out what the deal is because speculation is dangerous.

 

[Luther073082]

Well I'm not a man but I've heard men say they are never too tired for sex. Lol ,but its best to talk to him and find out what the deal is because speculation is dangerous.

That is not totally true.

If I'm a little bit sleepy, but my wife's in the mood then, OK great I'm totally up for sex. I can sleep later.

But if I'm REALLY sleepy and really tired then no I don't want to have sex I want to sleep.

From what it sounds this guy is just too overworked and tired and he's got so much stress and so much going on that he doesn't have much of a sex drive.

For the OP: See if what you can do to lower his stress or give him opprotunity to get more rest.

Intitating sex is important for you. You need to do it.

If he's stressed or busy. . . the idea of sex might not even cross his mind. And that might not even occur if you are wearing sexy things or naked and you think you are practically screaming "I want to have sex."

You need to do whatever it is you usually do that gets him going and just do it to him while he's in bed or whatever. If he says "I'm not in the mood, or I'm too tired" after you do something to him **PHYSICALLY** that normally gets him going then that's one thing.

But please do something to intitate it yourself. Don't just give off "signals" by wearing something or nothing and expect that he's going to get it and do all the work. Make him actually say that he doesn't want to have sex. Do not accept him not initiating sex as him not wanting to have sex. He needs to verbally say that he doesn't want to have sex before you give up on it.

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

If his sleepiness and your shyness about waking him up is an issue, why wait until it is bedtime and he is ready to sleep?

 

[LinkH]

Ask him to put it on his schedule, how ever often you want it, at a specific time. It may not sound very romantic, but it may be a solution for you. If you don't want to do that, let him know a few hours beforehand that before he goes to sleep, you need him to 'help you out' with something in the bedroom.