Hurting So Bad

[bartony]

I must be the first one to post here.

I just lost my precious angel of nearly 14 years, December 18th. We were soulmates, God's choice for one another. We were brought together later in life by our Lord, and married January 20th, 1996. I was 49 when we married, Barb 52. She passed to the Lord at the age of 65.

We were so much a part of each other. We would be thinking the same thing at the same time.

I am hurting so bad and miss her so very much. I don't know at this point, how I will make it without my precious angel.

I will make this short as no one else has posted. Maybe I will hear of another who has lost a precious wife or husband.

God bless,

Tony

 

[bartony]

I forgot to mention our lives were like mirror images. Both of us only-children, and neither of us had been married before.

 

[Everlasting33]

I am so sorry for your loss, my friend. My heart goes out to you and I know the pain of losing a loved one.


Praying for your dear brother that you will have the strength to grieve and heal and you have my support and friendship.


Here is a poem that I really like to express my grief:

[SIZE=-1]
"Not only should we be unashamed of grief, confident[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1] that its expression will not permanently hurt us, but[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1] we should also possess the wisdom to talk about our[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1] loss and through that creative conversation with[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1] friends and companions begin to reconstruct the broken[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1] fragments of our lives . . . We should not resist the[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1] sympathy and stimulation of social interaction. We[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1] should learn not to grow impatient with the slow[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1] healing process of time . . . We should anticipate[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1] these stages in our emotional convalescence: unbearable[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1] pain, poignant grief, empty days, resistance to[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1] consolation, disinterestedness in life, gradually[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1] giving way under the healing sunlight of love,[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1] friendship, social challenge, to the new weaving of a[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1] pattern of action and the acceptance of the irresistable[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1] challenge of life."[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1] -- Rabbi Joshua L. Liebman


[/SIZE]

 

[bartony]

Hello, Steelerbred33,

Thanks so much. She's been gone two weeks Friday night, and still, I find it hard to believe I'm without her. I'm just lost and it's an effort to function or even think.

She was the most unselfish and compassionate little angel on earth. She gave to others, and was everything God wants in a Christian. She was so much better a Christian than I am.

The poem was very good, thanks so much for that and for your prayers and friendship.

 

[Everlasting33]

Hello, Steelerbred33,

Thanks so much. She's been gone two weeks Friday night, and still, I find it hard to believe I'm without her. I'm just lost and it's an effort to function or even think.

She was the most unselfish and compassionate little angel on earth. She gave to others, and was everything God wants in a Christian. She was so much better a Christian than I am.

The poem was very good, thanks so much for that and for your prayers and friendship.

Aww, I feel for you...I really do. You must be in such pain and agony...I wish I could take it away! Make sure you surround yourself around God's people, friends, and family. The pain is so great and I know that time can heal some of the wounds.

The memory of your dear wife is in your heart, mind and soul and you will see her one day. Keep up the good faith, my friend!

 

[terriowen]

Bartony,
My thoughts and prayers are with you as you go through this most difficult time of your life. we do not understand these things and can only survive them if we totally lean on our Lord and accept HIS grace, peace and strength.
I lost the love of my life on May 28th after 25 yrs of marriage. he was my knight in shining armor and we did everything together. Only by God's grace am I able to carry on.
Don't give up, she would want you to keep fighting.
We are here for you and I will hold you up in prayer before the throne of grace.

In Him,
Terri

 

[jfgm]

It is still so early for you! I remember well how lost and lonely it felt. The pain and sorrow was overwhelming. I thought I would lose my mind. I felt I would never have a good day again. I cried and wailed. I prayed and begged God for help. I could see no end to my grief. I didn't know what to do with myself. We had been married 48 years. My whole life was wrapped up in him. The emptiness in my life is still unbelievable.

Yet, while I once felt that I just wanted to die too, people told me that in time some of the shapest pain would lessen. I didn't believe them. Now, 6 months later, I have seen a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. I still cry every day, I still feel lonely and lost, but I know God has been walking with me each day, giving comfort and courage.

I began my journey by reading a lot of books on grief and I started going to a twice a week bereavement support group. Both of those things helped me to see that I wasn't alone and I wasn't losing my mind. More recently, I've been reading books on what heaven is like and it has really helped me to realize that my husband is somewhere good and happy. One of the best books I've read is "Heaven" by Randy Alcorn. I've always believed in heaven, but this book has made it a real place that I can understand.

I pray for your comfort and healing, brother. I know God will walk with you through this painful time. Just hang on to His hand and talk to Him every day.
My best to you,
Jane

 

[singingwife]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I also had only a short time with my sweetie. We also did not have any children and it was a first marriage.
Keep coming here, okay. Keep on sharing. It's been almost a year and a half for me, and I have dealt with the hurt and pain and still have moments, especially the high joys and sorrows, where I miss having him to share it with me. I haven't been here much, but I'll be here more now, I think.
Many prayers.

 

[ThinkJesus]

Hi Tony,

Sorry for your deep loss. My situation was similar. I'll pray for you.

 

[Nyuu]

My father died this past May. He and my mother were married nearly 49 years. Sorry about your loss, I'm not sure if my mother will ever recover, but here's hoping you do.

 

[nanajojothatsme]

so sorry Tony, remember me???
I lost my husband Jan. of 2009, he was 57
I so understand. I go to a grief and loss group twice a week , it sure helps to be around others and hopefully I can be there for others , for they sure were there for me when I started and I have no idea where I would be in the journey now if it weren't for that group.
you have one near you ? ours is by Hospice

 

[nanajojothatsme]

I agree with jfgm, reading on heaven sure helps , and standing on God's promises.
I bought the book Shack, we were told at our group that we may like reading it ,
a different perspective on a loss of a love one.
have not started to read it yet

 

[Pilgrim1951]

My Danny has been gone 9 days now. Yesterday, I went to church, then shopped at Walmart, did a little housework - I didn't cry all day or all night. I went back to work today. It went pretty well. As I was leaving, I could feel it coming on. I always called Danny on my way home from work every day. Couldn't do that today. He would always ask all about my day, and really listen. Now there's no one to tell about my day. Even if there was, I would still want Danny to be the one I share it with. I cried all the way home, and then while I took the dogs out. He wasn't here to greet me of course, as he used to be. It's the panicky crying I have a hard time dealing with. When you feel like you might crack up. I began to pray and asked the Lord to be my husband, and even though He couldn't physically put His arms around me and hold me like my sweet Danny would do when I was upset or sad, He still managed to comfort me, and take away the panic. Thank You Jesus.

 

[ThinkJesus]

Hi Pilgrim1951,

So sorry to hear of your loss. I'll say a prayer for you.

God bless.

 

[jerryb51]

i know everyone's pain too
on Nov 5th 09 i lost my Martha the love of my life and my best friend.

we were married 38 1/2 years. i am 58 so u can see i had been married
all my adult life.for the 1st couple of months i truly believe i was in shock.
now i feel very lonely for her. every day i have different feelings kinda like being on a rollercoaster. i hardly remember her funeral.
she was a christian and i am doing my best to be one too. i pray a lot and it helps but i still feel helpless without her. i don't think i will ever be able to let go of her but i know with the grace of GOD i will go on. my life has changed forever as has others here.
i found a website with a sermon titled:will we know our loved ones in heaven
it helped me very much listening to it.

we are very vulnerable , atleast i know i am
she was a much stronger person than i will ever be. she was a small woman but sure had a very big heart.


i have my oldest grandson living with me he is 15 and he keeps me busy at times

i still cry at different times,it may be in a store,the car ect and it gets overwhelming. i just leave if i am in the store and go home
it just hits me from out of nowhere. i have started to call her a few times
like i all ways did when i went a store without her, even though we were never apart for very long at a time
i retired nov 1 07 and i had 2 fantastic years with her then

i will pray for everyone here and i ask for your prayers also

i try to live one day at a time.i keep remembering tomorrow is promised to no one, so i try not to worry about it very much

i know i am not making much sense right now but maybe in time i'll be able to

GOD bless you all

 

[Pilgrim1951]

i know everyone's pain too
on Nov 5th 09 i lost my Martha the love of my life and my best friend.

we were married 38 1/2 years. i am 58 so u can see i had been married
all my adult life.for the 1st couple of months i truly believe i was in shock.
now i feel very lonely for her. every day i have different feelings kinda like being on a rollercoaster. i hardly remember her funeral.
she was a christian and i am doing my best to be one too. i pray a lot and it helps but i still feel helpless without her. i don't think i will ever be able to let go of her but i know with the grace of GOD i will go on. my life has changed forever as has others here.
i found a website with a sermon titled:will we know our loved ones in heaven
it helped me very much listening to it.

we are very vulnerable , atleast i know i am
she was a much stronger person than i will ever be. she was a small woman but sure had a very big heart.


i have my oldest grandson living with me he is 15 and he keeps me busy at times

i still cry at different times,it may be in a store,the car ect and it gets overwhelming. i just leave if i am in the store and go home
it just hits me from out of nowhere. i have started to call her a few times
like i all ways did when i went a store without her, even though we were never apart for very long at a time
i retired nov 1 07 and i had 2 fantastic years with her then

i will pray for everyone here and i ask for your prayers also

i try to live one day at a time.i keep remembering tomorrow is promised to no one, so i try not to worry about it very much

i know i am not making much sense right now but maybe in time i'll be able to

GOD bless you all

My heart goes out to you. You made perfect sense. You are in my prayers, dear man. Pilgrim

 

[rkjv]

I lost my wife 9-5-2010 unexpectedly - We were married 42 years (she was 61 & I am 63)...I do not know what to do - I hurt inside and out all the time - A dark black all consuming cloud follows me and everyday it catches and envelopes me. I try to hold it off but I can't. I know where I am in the grieving process but knowledge of what and why makes no sense. I have never felt so much pain - I did not know this kind of despair could be so debilitating. I hurt with you.

 

[Notamonkey]

I'm so sorry for all your loss, but I also know how you feel. My first wife went to be with the lord at age 40 after almost 22 years of marriage.I went to "Grief Share" at a church and I still go from time to time to give and share. I have remarried and I would do it again if God willed it. Grief is the price you pay for loving someone, and it's price price well worth it.

" And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our suffering, so also you share in our comfort." 2 Corinthians 1:7
May the Lord comfort you, amen.