How's Everyone Doing?

RuthD · Jan 31, 2010

KatAutumn said:
Praise God for the breaking of addiction taking place in this thread! I'm proud of everyone who has quit or is in the process of cutting back to quit. My DH and I have been nicotine-free for 29 days now. Just before midnight tonight, it will be one month. I haven't had a craving in six days, save for one little bitty, "gee, I'm bored...wish I had a smoke" thought.

katautumn · Feb 26, 2010

Just bumping this to see how everyone is doing. I know once the first couple of weeks pass it's normal to not only not want to incessantly talk about smoking or quitting smoking, but sometimes discussions can act as a powerful trigger. So I just wanted to make a brief post to be sure everyone was doing alright. Tomorrow is two months for me and the DH! I'm still having the smoking dreams from time to time, but I haven't had a genuine craving in I don't know how long. The other night I went off with my sister and her husband and they were both smoking in the front seat. I kept choking. I couldn't breathe and it irritated my eyes to the point where they were watering. I can't believe how inconsiderate I was as a smoker to the non-smokers around me! They had to put up with that all those times I insisted upon lighting up in their presence?!

I_love_the_rain · Feb 28, 2010

Hi, nice to meet you.

I'm a 35 y.o 20 pack year smoker (probably more if you consider not all my packs had only 20 in them). I quit smoking three days ago with the help of NRT but I went off course after a major panic attack about cancer.

I actually wanted to quit smoking mid Jan but my mum died unexpectedly and I wasn't thinking straight. So I quit smoking three days ago because it is a sin and Paul said Christians have to stop sinning. I also quit because of health reasons, I tend to be paranoid that I have cancer. For example I spent all tonight crying my eyes out because of cancer and finally at 11pm I realised I probably don't have cancer. I mistake anything and everything for cancer.

Here is my quit experience so far.

Day one of my quit I put on a patch. I was kind of apprehensive but full of enthusiasm. My cancer fear levels dropped to a level I could relax which was a relief. I also chewed a little nicotine gum and had a little puff on a Nicorette inhaler later on but nothing much. I did this because nothing was going to weaken my resolve.
Day two I wore a patch and was puffing on the inhaler more. I was concerned that I was enjoying the inhaler too much which was not the purpose of quitting. I was also becoming very worried that the gum and inhaler might give me cancer even though I was assurred they wouldn't. Today I didn't wear a patch or gum and just used the inhaler and by 11pm I'd had three cigarettes for old times sakes :/ This was not how it was supposed to turn out.
I've decided that I need to lay some carved in stone ground rules, so tomorrow I'm going back on the patch and can only use the inhaler once if I'm desperate or chew the gum once.
I think the worst thing spiritually is that today I didn't even want to read the Bible because I was struggling.
Tomorrow is a new day though

RuthD · Mar 1, 2010

Yes tomorrow is a new day. A new start, a new beginning. You, as you know, can choose whenever and if you want to quit again. I wish you all the best!

I_love_the_rain · Mar 6, 2010

Thanks Ruth.
Since I first posted here my dad encouraged me to phone the hospital with my symptoms. To my horror the nurse called it an "emergency" and told me I have to be down at the hospital at 7 a.m on Monday to see triage for an oral examination. I am going to find out if I have mouth and throat cancer. I hope not but if I do have it then all will be revealed and I pray it's in the early stages and can be easily treated.
Aside from that I haven't touched a cigarette since before I last posted. Horray!!! Today was very difficult because I'd stopped using patches again after reading that nicotine impedes your immune system. I also read that when the nicotine is out of your system your "natural killer cells" have a power surge. Well I started wearing a patch again because it was too hard for me just yet and I really never want to weaken to the point where I light up again. After putting on a patch I felt 100% better and even had a very pleasant nap with my pet cat.

Anyway I enjoy reading everyone's posts, they really encourage and strengthen me! God bless you all!

RuthD · Mar 7, 2010

I am wishing you all the best in quitting. I am now afraid of relapsing after 2 mos. WhY? Am I crazy? Maybe.

katautumn · Mar 9, 2010

Welcome, I Love the Rain, and congratulations on your journey to staying quit

First of all, I want to say how sorry I am you lost your mother unexpectedly. My husband lost his mother suddenly back in October and I had intended to start cutting back to quit, but the stress lead to us both smoking far more intensely than we had before. We officially quit just before midnight on New Year's Eve. We quit cold turkey. Both of us had bad experiences with NRT in the past. 1 Corinthians 10:12-13 was my life verse during those first couple of weeks.

I pray that your tests went well yesterday and you received good news from the doctor, a clean bill of health.

RuthD said:
I am now afraid of relapsing after 2 mos. WhY? Am I crazy? Maybe.

We're in the same boat, sister. I think it may have to do with how after those first few weeks we begin to let our guard down. At first our every waking thought (and oftentimes even our dreams) are vividly focused on either the act of smoking or the act of quitting smoking. Each step and thought and word is carefully crafted around not smoking. Once the overwhelming preoccupation with quitting subsides we tend to only think about it when we see someone else smoke or we have a fleeting craving. The reality is that no matter how long we have been an ex-smoker, we will get the occasional craving. We're nicotine addicts, just like alcoholics are addicted to alcohol and junkies are addicted to heroin. We can stay quit until the day we die, but the reality is that we were once addicts totally dependent on the legal drug called nicotine. That never fully goes away. We learn how to cope. Most of the time we aren't even tempted; however, once our guard is down and staying quit isn't at the forefront of our mind, all it takes is for one bad craving to shake us to the core and cast doubt on our ability to stay "clean".

We, as humans, also fear failure. In the beginning of quitting most people, if they reflect rather honestly and thoughtfully, fear success. At first we hope we will fall into some sort of snare that will give us an excuse to start the habit again. We want to seem helpless so we can tell people, "see? It's no use. I'm a hopeless case. I'll be a smoker until the day I die". We don't want to know what life without cigarettes is like. It means changing everything. It means sometimes very uncomfortable and very real physical withdrawal symptoms. It means we sometimes have to either temporarily or permanently alter our daily schedule, dietary habits, social outings or even our circle of friends. It means having to embrace stress and everything else we used to encounter with cigarette in-hand empty-handed. After awhile, however, we not only grow tolerant of our new life without smoking, we come to prefer it and wonder why we ever took up the nasty habit in the first place. At that point we come to fear failure.

I like to think of how awful withdrawal made me feel. Those first few days of being absolutely insufferable to be around, of curling up in the fetal position and sobbing all day long for no reason, the headaches that bordered on migraine level, the lack of appetite, the fatigue, the difficulties concentrating, the blurred vision, the insomnia. Not even so much as a puff is worth going through that torture again, because I know I can't just take one little puff. One little puff would lead to one little pack of cigarettes, for old time's sake. One little nostalgic pack would lead to one little carton for convenience sake. And from there I'm back to where I was before I quit. My son is also a powerful motivator. I will forever cherish the day, about a week after I'd quit and was almost certain quitting was a terrible idea of mine, he hugged me and said, "Mommy, you smell so pretty now that you don't smell like smoke".

RuthD, you are a successful quitter. From this point on it's maintenance. It's staying the course. Don't set yourself up for failure by assuming you can't do it. You already have! All you must do now is stay courageous and tell nicotine "NO!" I know you can do it.

RuthD · Mar 9, 2010

KatAutumn said:
Welcome, I Love the Rain, and congratulations on your journey to staying quit

First of all, I want to say how sorry I am you lost your mother unexpectedly. My husband lost his mother suddenly back in October and I had intended to start cutting back to quit, but the stress lead to us both smoking far more intensely than we had before. We officially quit just before midnight on New Year's Eve. We quit cold turkey. Both of us had bad experiences with NRT in the past. 1 Corinthians 10:12-13 was my life verse during those first couple of weeks.

I pray that your tests went well yesterday and you received good news from the doctor, a clean bill of health.

We're in the same boat, sister. I think it may have to do with how after those first few weeks we begin to let our guard down. At first our every waking thought (and oftentimes even our dreams) are vividly focused on either the act of smoking or the act of quitting smoking. Each step and thought and word is carefully crafted around not smoking. Once the overwhelming preoccupation with quitting subsides we tend to only think about it when we see someone else smoke or we have a fleeting craving. The reality is that no matter how long we have been an ex-smoker, we will get the occasional craving. We're nicotine addicts, just like alcoholics are addicted to alcohol and junkies are addicted to heroin. We can stay quit until the day we die, but the reality is that we were once addicts totally dependent on the legal drug called nicotine. That never fully goes away. We learn how to cope. Most of the time we aren't even tempted; however, once our guard is down and staying quit isn't at the forefront of our mind, all it takes is for one bad craving to shake us to the core and cast doubt on our ability to stay "clean".

We, as humans, also fear failure. In the beginning of quitting most people, if they reflect rather honestly and thoughtfully, fear success. At first we hope we will fall into some sort of snare that will give us an excuse to start the habit again. We want to seem helpless so we can tell people, "see? It's no use. I'm a hopeless case. I'll be a smoker until the day I die". We don't want to know what life without cigarettes is like. It means changing everything. It means sometimes very uncomfortable and very real physical withdrawal symptoms. It means we sometimes have to either temporarily or permanently alter our daily schedule, dietary habits, social outings or even our circle of friends. It means having to embrace stress and everything else we used to encounter with cigarette in-hand empty-handed. After awhile, however, we not only grow tolerant of our new life without smoking, we come to prefer it and wonder why we ever took up the nasty habit in the first place. At that point we come to fear failure.

I like to think of how awful withdrawal made me feel. Those first few days of being absolutely insufferable to be around, of curling up in the fetal position and sobbing all day long for no reason, the headaches that bordered on migraine level, the lack of appetite, the fatigue, the difficulties concentrating, the blurred vision, the insomnia. Not even so much as a puff is worth going through that torture again, because I know I can't just take one little puff. One little puff would lead to one little pack of cigarettes, for old time's sake. One little nostalgic pack would lead to one little carton for convenience sake. And from there I'm back to where I was before I quit. My son is also a powerful motivator. I will forever cherish the day, about a week after I'd quit and was almost certain quitting was a terrible idea of mine, he hugged me and said, "Mommy, you smell so pretty now that you don't smell like smoke".

RuthD, you are a successful quitter. From this point on it's maintenance. It's staying the course. Don't set yourself up for failure by assuming you can't do it. You already have! All you must do now is stay courageous and tell nicotine "NO!" I know you can do it.

Thankful for your wise words. You make a lot of sense. Another way I've been using to stay quit is thinking about the 150.00+ I spent monthly. I have been saving up some money now. It feels good to do that. When I was smoking I was overspending and I scared myself with that. I get small urges to smoke that go right away when I think of the money aspect. I have a small income presently. Thanks so much Kat. Best wishes to you!

I_love_the_rain · Mar 11, 2010

Thanks for your kind concern. I will give an update on my trip to the hospital on Monday just gone...well so much for emergency because I'm not dying or even sick according to the dentist I saw. I arrived at 7a.m sharp and I was supposed to go straight through to see triage.
Well who would think it possible but at 7 a.m there were already 26 people waiting with emergencies at the hospital oral health unit. Yes, 26!!! I finally saw just one dentist (not a triage by any means) and he looked, poked, prodded and squeezed and told me he couldn't see anything wrong with my mouth. He did see lumps and bumps but he believes they are normal for me. He referred me to an oral pathologist for a second opinion but thinks I'm ok. He said he does not think my lumps and bumps look like cancer.
Thank you God, You are good to me...

KatAutumn, I agree about letting one's guard down because that's how I stumbled a few years ago. The Bible verse you picked 1 Cor 10:12-13 is perfect. It's the sort of verse that would be great on a wallet card.

RuthD · Mar 19, 2010

I_love_the_rain said:
Thanks for your kind concern. I will give an update on my trip to the hospital on Monday just gone...well so much for emergency because I'm not dying or even sick according to the dentist I saw. I arrived at 7a.m sharp and I was supposed to go straight through to see triage.
Well who would think it possible but at 7 a.m there were already 26 people waiting with emergencies at the hospital oral health unit. Yes, 26!!! I finally saw just one dentist (not a triage by any means) and he looked, poked, prodded and squeezed and told me he couldn't see anything wrong with my mouth. He did see lumps and bumps but he believes they are normal for me. He referred me to an oral pathologist for a second opinion but thinks I'm ok. He said he does not think my lumps and bumps look like cancer.
Thank you God, You are good to me...

KatAutumn, I agree about letting one's guard down because that's how I stumbled a few years ago. The Bible verse you picked 1 Cor 10:12-13 is perfect. It's the sort of verse that would be great on a wallet card.

I'm sorry you had to deal with the thought of having cancer. I think you did real good through that scare. I'm glad you don't have cancer. God bless you. How are you doing now?

How is everyone doing? I am now quit for about 12 weeks. I made a mistake and had a cig when my friend was smoking. That was over a week ago.

katautumn · Mar 19, 2010

Praise God for the good report from the doctor, I Love the Rain! Health scares can be incredibly stressful, but isn't God so good to us?

RuthD, you're doing great! My husband and I have almost reached the 3 month mark, the bronze anniversary. We're at 11 weeks "smober". This is going to be a rough time for me, I can already tell. Quitting during the Winter was easy, as the temperature outside was bitter cold and it was a raining mess. Quite the effective deterrent. Now that it's pretty and the temperatures are getting warmer during the day, I'm struggling. It's mind of matter, of course. It's really an issue of waxing nostalgic in my mind. The physical dependency has long since passed, but those smoke breaks were a welcomed escape from my daily routine, an excuse to just sit outside for a few minutes every hour or so. I usually pray and take a look at my "reasons I'm glad I quit" list when these urges strike me.

ETA My quit statistics from my quit counter:

Jennifer - Free and Healing for Two Months, Eighteen Days, 14 Hours and 7 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 5 Days and 9 Hours, by avoiding the use of 1552 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $259.20.

jwu · Mar 20, 2010

RuthD said:
How is everyone doing? I am now quit for about 12 weeks. I made a mistake and had a cig when my friend was smoking. That was over a week ago.

How did it feel? I quit smoking about 2.5 years ago, albeit i still occasionally smoke one or two cigarettes when i'm out with friends and not exactly sober anymore. It usually makes me feel sick though, so i cannot even imagine becoming a regular smoker again anymore.

I_love_the_rain · Mar 23, 2010

Ruth D, I've had good days but it's been a rocky ride the past few days in particular. Yesterday I found an unopened packet of cigarettes on the ground at a shopping centre. I was so pleased that I was able to walk by and took it as a testament to my strength. Who was I kidding? lol. Relapse is just a drive to the shop away and the ongoing strength to resist temptation all day every day can only come from the Holy Spirit.
I really want to start smoking again but I know that I longed to be free of that addiction since I was about 19 years old. I guess I just miss smoking, as sick as that sounds.

How are you going since the mistake last week?

Hosannainthehighest · Mar 25, 2010

Hi all...i'm going to join in here...i'm on my 3rd day quit. I looked in this section of the forums because i've been thinking about having one all day (not that i actually have any around!)...so i figured if i can gain some support here well all good.
I am feeling sort of sad today, i think that's contributing to the wanting some tobacco ...i'm sure it masks alot of unwanted feelings..

RuthD · Mar 25, 2010

KatAutumn said:
Praise God for the good report from the doctor, I Love the Rain! Health scares can be incredibly stressful, but isn't God so good to us?

RuthD, you're doing great! My husband and I have almost reached the 3 month mark, the bronze anniversary. We're at 11 weeks "smober". This is going to be a rough time for me, I can already tell. Quitting during the Winter was easy, as the temperature outside was bitter cold and it was a raining mess. Quite the effective deterrent. Now that it's pretty and the temperatures are getting warmer during the day, I'm struggling. It's mind of matter, of course. It's really an issue of waxing nostalgic in my mind. The physical dependency has long since passed, but those smoke breaks were a welcomed escape from my daily routine, an excuse to just sit outside for a few minutes every hour or so. I usually pray and take a look at my "reasons I'm glad I quit" list when these urges strike me.

ETA My quit statistics from my quit counter:

Jennifer - Free and Healing for Two Months, Eighteen Days, 14 Hours and 7 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 5 Days and 9 Hours, by avoiding the use of 1552 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $259.20.

Having the ciggarette was really quick and tasted bad. I won't buy a pack for fear of resuming smoking. They really are sickening tasting.

I_love_the_rain said:
Ruth D, I've had good days but it's been a rocky ride the past few days in particular. Yesterday I found an unopened packet of cigarettes on the ground at a shopping centre. I was so pleased that I was able to walk by and took it as a testament to my strength. Who was I kidding? lol. Relapse is just a drive to the shop away and the ongoing strength to resist temptation all day every day can only come from the Holy Spirit.
I really want to start smoking again but I know that I longed to be free of that addiction since I was about 19 years old. I guess I just miss smoking, as sick as that sounds.

How are you going since the mistake last week?

I'm doing okay. It tasted bad and made my mouth taste horrible and my hands smelled like garbage. I don't want to go back to that place of obsessing over them. That habit has been broken. Praise the Lord!

I_love_the_rain · Mar 26, 2010

Hosannainthehighest said:
Hi all...i'm going to join in here...i'm on my 3rd day quit. I looked in this section of the forums because i've been thinking about having one all day (not that i actually have any around!)...so i figured if i can gain some support here well all good.
I am feeling sort of sad today, i think that's contributing to the wanting some tobacco ...i'm sure it masks alot of unwanted feelings..

Hi Hosannainthehighest. I heard somewhere that a drop in dopamine levels has something to do with the unhappy feelings. Apparently it's the same when people stop using meth.

I had a lapse yesterday. I ended up looking at the cigarette and wondering why I wanted one so badly because it wasn't even that great. It was even annoying because I had to hide outside my house and people kept walking past windows freaking me out. I guess the habit is as hard to kick as the addiction.

Evie1980 · Mar 27, 2010

Hi all,
Just wanted to give a little encouragement to all of you. I have now been quit for 4 years and I owe a lot to these forums and all the support and prayers I got here. It took me a long time to finally get through it all so I understand all your pain and confusion at times. Just keep at it. Keep trying and one day this will all be the past. It is for me and it can be for you too.
Blessings, Evie

katautumn · Mar 29, 2010

Hosannainthehighest said:
Hi all...i'm going to join in here...i'm on my 3rd day quit. I looked in this section of the forums because i've been thinking about having one all day (not that i actually have any around!)...so i figured if i can gain some support here well all good.
I am feeling sort of sad today, i think that's contributing to the wanting some tobacco ...i'm sure it masks alot of unwanted feelings..

Welcome to quitting smoking, Hosannainthehighest! Great job on taking that first step!

The first three days are the pits. That's when your body really struggles not having nicotine delivered to regulate everything. Don't forget, your body has to adjust to being a smoker. We're not born to have chemical dependencies and nicotine affects everything from how we produce oxygen to how our body metabolizes food to the distribution of blood sugar to the flow of blood. I cried like a baby, for no reason and every reason under the sun, the first three days. I felt like dung. I had headaches that bordered on migraine. I had a few coughing fits. I struggled with insomnia. My brain felt all foggy. I lacked physical coordination. I was confused and angry. It was just a real bummer.

But after the nicotine left my system I felt a lot better. And then you aren't consumed with thoughts of either wanting to smoke or quitting smoking and staying quit just becomes a natural routine. Just as we had to learn how to smoke, we have to learn how to not smoke. Because we were once addicted to nicotine we will always be addicted to it. But don't lose heart. Just as an alcoholic will remain addicted to alcohol, even after years of sobriety, you will not always be tied in the bonds of full-blown nicotine addiction.

Keep up the great work, everyone!

katautumn · Apr 6, 2010

I found a great article online that explains three phases in the recovery process known as "the icky threes". I couldn't figure out why, after three months of being a successful quitter, I felt as if I could fall off the wagon at any moment. It got so bad over the weekend that once I stopped at a gas station, went in to buy cigarettes, but walked back out empty handed. Then yesterday my husband came home from work and said, "okay, you're going to be mad at me". I thought maybe he had bummed a smoke off someone at work (only he didn't smell like it). He opened his lunch bag and pulled out two unopened packs of cigarettes. I was more frustrated and confused than angry. We talked about it and decided to give the packs to my sister and that was that, but it was strange. Throughout this entire process I've told myself, "I'm a grown woman and can smoke any time I choose. I choose to not smoke." Then, when confronted with the prospect of my husband slipping up, I felt as if it strengthened my resolve.

Still, it baffled me why after this many weeks the urge hit me stronger than ever. So I found an article online explaining the three major hurdles in the quitting process - three days in, three weeks in, and three months in - the "icky threes". I thought I'd share this article with everyone. Remember - there is no such thing as a good reason to start smoking again. There are no benefits, physical or mental. The cravings will pass, even if they seem almost unbearable. Remember how smoking made you feel in general. Forget about romanticizing the "good" smokes and remember how many other times you simply endured the act to get the nicotine fix. We didn't so much want to smoke as we really needed to smoke. Now we don't have to. We crave smoking far less frequently than smokers desire to quit, but feel they can't.

I've had people tell me, "gee, I sure wish I could quit, but I just can't. I'm not strong enough". Until you reach that point where your desire to prolong your life and improve the quality of it surpasses your denial over how much smoking is damaging your body, you won't feel the sense of urgency over quitting.

Smoking Cessation: Understanding the Icky Threes

RuthD · Apr 12, 2010

Thank you. I don't want to trigger anyone but the 3 month icky got me. Please pray for me.

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