How will I know when Im free from the hurt?

HaveMercy2017! · Jan 28, 2017

sunshineforJesus said:
There is no payoff but I am struggling in letting go of the hurt

I pray for you to heal inside. You can't make her change and you can't reconcile with someone who has decided she will never reconcile. I've had very similar experience and I learned from this pain to talk to God more & let Him heal me. I learned to turn my thoughts to good things because I didn't want to hurt anymore & memorized Philippians 4:8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

Clovis Man · Jan 28, 2017

sunshineforJesus said:
what do you mean by a pay off? Havent you ever had a hard time letting things go?

I sure have. I still struggle with a person I haven't seen for almost 40 years. I can go months without thinking of the situation and suddenly it'll be there again and I'm angry and sad all over again.

I think part of the problem is that we let someone have that power over us, thinking they want our best interests, and when we find it they don't it's difficult to take that power back.

Kiterius · Jan 28, 2017

Clovis Man said:
I sure have. I still struggle with a person I haven't seen for almost 40 years. I can go months without thinking of the situation and suddenly it'll be there again and I'm angry and sad all over again.

I think part of the problem is that we let someone have that power over us, thinking they want our best interests, and when we find it they don't it's difficult to take that power back.

You must be getting something out of being powerless. Self-pity perhaps?

Tigger45 · Jan 28, 2017

sunshineforJesus said:
Last summer me and a friend got in a really big fight. I'll admit I did alot of damage
by gossiping about her and complaining how mean she was to me. I believe she really was mean to me.
I have tried apologizing to her but she doesnt want to hear it.She says she accepts my apology but
never wants anything to do with me,and will never trust me again or be friends with me again.
I have asked Gods forgiveness and know he has forgiven me,and am in counseling to help me to improve myself. However this happened in august,and it still hurts. It hurts that she doesn't even want to look at me anymore,and I was just wondering when and how I can finally be healed from this wound.

Hi Sunshine

My guess is once you've given up the need or want to re establish this relationship the hurt will stop. Just take this as a learning experience and move forward in establishing new relationships. I've found people will sense this new level of maturity and it will make you more attractive to others, especially those that are attracted to others that are emotionally healthy.

Praying for your best

LastServant · Jan 28, 2017

sunshineforJesus said:
Last summer me and a friend got in a really big fight. I'll admit I did alot of damage
by gossiping about her and complaining how mean she was to me. I believe she really was mean to me.
I have tried apologizing to her but she doesnt want to hear it.She says she accepts my apology but
never wants anything to do with me,and will never trust me again or be friends with me again.
I have asked Gods forgiveness and know he has forgiven me,and am in counseling to help me to improve myself. However this happened in august,and it still hurts. It hurts that she doesn't even want to look at me anymore,and I was just wondering when and how I can finally be healed from this wound.

A month before God had me start testifying to the knowledge of Christ, he told me to pray the Lord's Prayer. He taught me that the Lord's Prayer was meant to forgive those who have sinned against you. Then he told me that most people pray for things the want instead of the one thing they need and that's the Holy Spirit. So he told me to start praying for the Holy Spirit and one month later, the Spirit came to take complete control of my life. God told me that I was becoming him and ever since then, He's been teaching me everything he wanted me to know before my flesh is killed.

I have learned that all created men will be saved from their wicked flesh of this wicked world. So be patient and pray the Lord's Prayer and you will be assured that life will be good in the next generation after all our enemies have been destroyed on the day of the Lord.

sunshineforJesus · Jan 28, 2017

HaveMercy2017! said:
I pray for you to heal inside. You can't make her change and you can't reconcile with someone who has decided she will never reconcile. I've had very similar experience and I learned from this pain to talk to God more & let Him heal me. I learned to turn my thoughts to good things because I didn't want to hurt anymore & memorized Philippians 4:8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

Thanks so much and I am trying to learn to direct my thoughts more positively.

sunshineforJesus · Jan 28, 2017

thesunisout said:
He will help you do that. Stand on His word and claim His promise to heal you. Every time Satan tries to hand it back to you, refuse to receive it again. Instead stand on His word and say "This hurt now belongs to the Lord Jesus Christ, who fully paid for my healing by His blood, and I lift it up to Him again. Please take it from me Jesus, according to your word"

That sounds like great advice,and I will try to remember to do that

sunshineforJesus · Jan 28, 2017

Tigger45 said:
Hi Sunshine

My guess is once you've given up the need or want to re establish this relationship the hurt will stop. Just take this as a learning experience and move forward in establishing new relationships. I've found people will sense this new level of maturity and it will make you more attractive to others, especially those that are attracted to others that are emotionally healthy.

Praying for your best

I do see it as a learning experience and have learned alot from it,to treat others better and not be so stuck on doing things my way. I just miss the fun times we had together.

Citizen of the Kingdom · Jan 28, 2017

What's possible for God to do in this relationship is gained from keeping it in prayer and getting out of His way. Once it's given to Him, having done all that you can, it's then in the wait and see department.

sunshineforJesus · Jan 28, 2017

I don't really get what you are saying cassia.

Citizen of the Kingdom · Jan 28, 2017

If your intention to reconcile has been made more than clear, nothing you say or do will make a difference at this point. In keeping the situation in prayer leaves it open for God to work and I've seen Him move the world at times while I stay still knowing He is God.
I believe that as we watch, pray and wait on Him that things will change. Taking scriptural victory is just good for the soul and by keeping Him first He will take care of it. Maybe only by realizing one day that it's not something you wish to pray for anymore....

sunshineforJesus · Jan 28, 2017

Thanks so much and I agree with you.

sunshineforJesus · Jan 29, 2017

Last week I contacted this woman when I wasnt supposed to,so came up to her at church
and told her I was sorry for that. She said ok but told me its stuff like that that pushes her further away
and just makes her more angry inside. She also said she isn't interested in being friends with me anymore since
she doesn't think she can trust me anymore,and that she needs her space. She said Sorry but thats just the way its gotta be.

CodyFaith · Jan 29, 2017

sunshineforJesus said:
Last summer me and a friend got in a really big fight. I'll admit I did alot of damage
by gossiping about her and complaining how mean she was to me. I believe she really was mean to me.
I have tried apologizing to her but she doesnt want to hear it.She says she accepts my apology but
never wants anything to do with me,and will never trust me again or be friends with me again.
I have asked Gods forgiveness and know he has forgiven me,and am in counseling to help me to improve myself. However this happened in august,and it still hurts. It hurts that she doesn't even want to look at me anymore,and I was just wondering when and how I can finally be healed from this wound.

As with any other wounds, in my opinion you just have to wait it out. Time heals.

Sorry to hear about it though, I can see you're very troubled by it. Just focus on the love Christ has for you and that you are indeed forgiven.

sunshineforJesus · Jan 29, 2017

Thanks so much Cody,I am so thankful for Gods forgiveness and his love even though it is troubling to me having a failed
relationship

rockytopva · Jan 29, 2017

sunshineforJesus said:
Last summer me and a friend got in a really big fight. I'll admit I did alot of damage
by gossiping about her and complaining how mean she was to me. I believe she really was mean to me.
I have tried apologizing to her but she doesnt want to hear it.She says she accepts my apology but
never wants anything to do with me,and will never trust me again or be friends with me again.
I have asked Gods forgiveness and know he has forgiven me,and am in counseling to help me to improve myself. However this happened in august,and it still hurts. It hurts that she doesn't even want to look at me anymore,and I was just wondering when and how I can finally be healed from this wound.

Thanks for the kind words on my profile and will keep this need in prayer. You have done all you can do here...

sunshineforJesus · Jan 29, 2017

You're very welcome Rocky and I guess you are right.

SarahsKnight · Jan 29, 2017

sunshineforJesus said:
Thanks so much Cody,I am so thankful for Gods forgiveness and his love even though it is troubling to me having a failed
relationship

I can understand that, Nicole. I know it must feel like just something left undone, that you want very much to get some closure on, and yet you have to just leave it as it is for now. That must be frustrating. But I will keep praying that God gives you peace over it, and if possible, that this friend will soon want to reconcile or at least not leave you feeling like she is still angry with you.

sunshineforJesus · Jan 29, 2017

Thanks so much Knight and as frustrating as it is,I am thankful she aleast apologized to me
for how it is and how its gotta be this way.

God's Child · Jan 30, 2017

In your situation it sounds like you also have had a loss and losing someone you care about can cause grief and when you are grieving it can take a while for the hurt to heal and sometimes it doesn't completely. But keep giving it back to God and in the meantime enjoy the ones you do have in your life and pray for you friend. Give her space and in time she may come around.

How will I know when Im free from the hurt?

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