How to stop???

[Lost_Sheep]

I really like a guy where I work. He's kind, funny, smart. He's also married. The other night, I had a really detailed dream about him. The next day at work, we had to work in the same area (usually we are in different areas). I told him that about the dream I had and I think I made a mistake by doing this because he started flirting with me and I flirted back. I know I should fling myself to the ground and beg God's forgiveness for possibly causing a married man to stumble, but I can't. I am so attracted to him and my mind keeps thinking "what if?"

So how do I stop thinking about this man? How do I stop liking him? How do I make my feelings for him go away? I know that thinking about him is wrong and I need to forget him, but that's easier said than done. I've decided never to be alone with him so we can't flirt with each other. And I've resolved to talk to him only when I have to and to discuss only work related things with him. I'm trying to repent and apologize to God, but it's hard. In a way, I'm not sorry for having feelings, but I am sorry for acting on them in a way. What else can I do?

 

[PenelopePitstop2]

You are coveting someone else's husband so yes you need to repent. He belongs to another and you should not be flirting with him and leading him and you into temptation. Think of the devastation you could cause his family if you pursue this. The thoughts may be nice but this does not excuse the fact he is not yours for the taking.

I would apologies to him and tell him you feel a bit foolish sharing what you did as it was inapropriate. Try to avoid situations alone with him and do not encourage any flirting.

The feelings will not go at once but how you handle them will make a difference. Every time you think of him pray for his marriage that God would bless him and his wife. It will get easier as time goes on.

 

[Godslilgurlalways]

You are coveting someone else's husband so yes you need to repent. He belongs to another and you should not be flirting with him and leading him and you into temptation. Think of the devastation you could cause his family if you pursue this. The thoughts may be nice but this does not excuse the fact he is not yours for the taking.

I would apologies to him and tell him you feel a bit foolish sharing what you did as it was inapropriate. Try to avoid situations alone with him and do not encourage any flirting.

The feelings will not go at once but how you handle them will make a difference. Every time you think of him pray for his marriage that God would bless him and his wife. It will get easier as time goes on.

I agree on that, also remember you don't want to take part in your fellow brother falling and sining if anything you want to help him not to. Everytime you think of flirting with him try to think about his family wife and maybe even kids, if you want to have a relationship with him it's okay to be friends but set boundaries or you two can also talk about starting all over again.

 

[TheDag]

Hi Lost Sheep,
Your honesty about what you have done is fantastic and it shows me that you do have integrity in some of your actions. So the question is how to extend that into this situation. I think you have taken some great steps already in resolving to only talk to him about work and to try to never be alone with him.

Also though realise he makes the choice to flirt with you and he is responsible for that. Sure maybe he wouldn't have if you hadn't told him about the dream but you can only repent for your actions. He still makes the decision to flirt or not.

Other suggestions I would make are
1. Talk to a close friend who you trust and organise to give them a call if your feeling like you might give in or break your resolve.
2. Everytime you see him then pray for God's strength so you can resist any temptation and also praise God in the prayer for who he is and what he has done for you. I find that this helps in many situations as it puts the focus on God rather than on what you might want to focus on.

Hope this helps
God bless.

edit to add: Maybe each time you see him ask how his wife and kids are. If he responds in a negative way such as my wife is always nagging me then make suggestions as to what he could do to help his wife. If he makes positive comments about his wife and kids then this should help him think about them.

 

[Elijah2]

Hi Lost Sheep,

The good old spirit of lust has raised it's ugly head.

So to end all of the spiritual burden, confess it, and repent aloud to our Lord, and to make it a real confession and repetnance, confess this sin with your pastor or a friend.

Don't let the enemy get a hold of the situation, because that is where it is heading, right into the clutches of the enemy.

Yep, the next time you speak to him, just ask him how is his wife and his children. That will certainly confirm your confession and repentance, and quell the enemy and his forces.

Also remember that you need forgiveness for being part of this sin, so you better forgive the other person and yourself for taking part in this sin.

Sorry, Lost Sheep, but sin is sin. So take it back from the enemy, and and submit to our Lord and he will flee.

Love in Christ

 

[Johnnz]

Attraction is not just a mental thing. We can find people attractive for all sorts of reasons. But, when it comes to right and wrong we do need to let our heads take over.

You have taken some wise steps. Great. Hold to them, get on with your living, and just keep on the fringes of working together as much as you can.

Also, recognise that we can enjoy people OK. It's when it goes beyond that such as flirting that you move into more dangerous territory.
John
NZ

 

[Lost_Sheep]

Thanks everyone for the responses and suggestions. I feel better knowing that I have your support and prayers.