How to stop someone from coming over

[Lady Bug]

I wanted to go to church in the morning but people are bothering me too much tonight. One of my strict Muslim relatives is relentless in coming to my house, since dad has gone away. I have blocked his number but he has my brother's number. My brother called me tonight and told me that this man wants to come over and wants my address and my brother seems nonchalant about him coming over to my house and I'm getting extremely angry and I started yelling at my brother to have that relative leave me alone. From the beginning of this year, this man has been asking for me. He has been wanting my picture, was going to bring his son over, and backed off for a few months, and I was hoping the coast was clear, but no it's not.

I feel like I have to constantly keep my lights off and blinds closed because I have no idea if he's in the neighborhood looking for my house.

 

[mourningdove~]

I wanted to go to church in the morning but people are bothering me too much tonight. One of my strict Muslim relatives is relentless in coming to my house, since dad has gone away. I have blocked his number but he has my brother's number. My brother called me tonight and told me that this man wants to come over and wants my address and my brother seems nonchalant about him coming over to my house and I'm getting extremely angry and I started yelling at my brother to have that relative leave me alone. From the beginning of this year, this man has been asking for me. He has been wanting my picture, was going to bring his son over, and backed off for a few months, and I was hoping the coast was clear, but no it's not.

I feel like I have to constantly keep my lights off and blinds closed because I have no idea if he's in the neighborhood looking for my house.

There may be other things you can do to stop this man, but I believe one of the quickest and easiest things you can do anytime is to pray and ask the Lord to protect you.

I'm not saying this man is evil (or even the other persons involved), but since you are a Christian (and they are not), I think some spiritual protection might be helpful, at least while you figure out how to handle this situation.

I'm sure there are other prayers that could be prayed ... others here probably know them ... but my favorite is Fr. Ripperger's Perimeter Prayer. It is a prayer to ask the Lord to protect you, and your surroundings, within 100 yards in all direction.

You can find it on the internet and YouTube.
When praying it for myself, I personalize it this way ...

Perimeter Prayer
Lord Jesus Christ, in Thy love and mercy establish a perimeter of protection around me, those who pray for me and their loved ones. May the Holy Angels guard me and all my possessions, establishing a perimeter of protection around me, rendering me immune from any kind of demonic influence. I ask that no demonic bondage, door, demonic entity, portal, astral projection or disembodied spirit may enter the space of 100 yards in all directions of me.

I ask that any demons within this vicinity or any that should try to enter here be rendered deaf, dumb, and blind; that Thou would strip them of all weapons, armor, power, illusions, and authority; that Thou would bind, rebuke and disable them from communicating or interacting with each other in any way. Remove them, sending them directly to the foot of Thy Cross.

Jesus, Son of the Most High, I ask this in Thy Glorious and Most Holy Name. Amen.

 

[mourningdove~]

I wanted to go to church in the morning but people are bothering me too much tonight. One of my strict Muslim relatives is relentless in coming to my house, since dad has gone away. I have blocked his number but he has my brother's number. My brother called me tonight and told me that this man wants to come over and wants my address and my brother seems nonchalant about him coming over to my house and I'm getting extremely angry and I started yelling at my brother to have that relative leave me alone. From the beginning of this year, this man has been asking for me. He has been wanting my picture, was going to bring his son over, and backed off for a few months, and I was hoping the coast was clear, but no it's not.

I feel like I have to constantly keep my lights off and blinds closed because I have no idea if he's in the neighborhood looking for my house.

P.S.
What does this man want from you?
Why does he want your picture?
Is he wanting to marry you off to someone?
Does he know you don't want to see or talk to him?

If he shows up at the door, don't open it ... don't let him in.
Call the police.
And tell them this man is stalking and harassing you.
Tell them that you're afraid of this man and that he won't leave you alone.
They should* come out, and tell him to leave.

It might take some guts to call the police, but this man has to somehow get the message to leave you alone.
I don't know a kinder way, if none of your other relatives will help you to stop him.

... I'm very sorry you're being harrassed this way.

*I said 'should', because they 'should' ... and I know they would come out, if I called them in my neighborhood. But I hear some cities are short on police officers. (Hopefully, yours is not one.)

 

[Lady Bug]

P.S.
What does this man want from you?
Why does he want your picture?
Is he wanting to marry you off to someone?
Does he know you don't want to see or talk to him?

If he shows up at the door, don't open it ... don't let him in.
Call the police.
And tell them this man is stalking and harassing you.
Tell them that you're afraid of this man and that he won't leave you alone.
They should* come out, and tell him to leave.

It might take some guts to call the police, but this man has to somehow get the message to leave you alone.
I don't know a kinder way, if none of your other relatives will help you to stop him.

... I'm very sorry you're being harrassed this way.

*I said 'should', because they 'should' ... and I know they would come out, if I called them in my neighborhood. But I hear some cities are short on police officers. (Hopefully, yours is not one.)

I don't have enough proof to show the police. I've had mostly verbal conversations between me and my dad/brother. Plus, I'm not the legal owner of the house. If I'm not the legal owner, I don't think I can legally stop him from coming. I'm petrified.

 

[Michie]

I don't have enough proof to show the police. I've had mostly verbal conversations between me and my dad/brother. Plus, I'm not the legal owner of the house. If I'm not the legal owner, I don't think I can legally stop him from coming. I'm petrified.

You can stop him from coming. You are the a legal resident there and the daughter of the owner of the home. I think you should pick up the phone and simply say you are not up to visitors and to please stop calling. If he continues to call then that is harassment.

 

[Wolseley]

Get a restraining order. Specify no calls, no visits, no emails, and a distance of 700 yards between you and him at all times. If he persists, call the police. It might also be a good idea to arm yourself with pepper spray---and use it, if necessary.

This is not Afghanistan, nor is it 7th-century Arabia. This is 21st-century America, and here, men do not have the right to treat women as chattel property.

 

[FaithT]

I, too was wondering what exactly does he want from you? Is he romantically interested in you? Wanting to marry you off to his son? Trying to convert you to Islam? Get you away from the Church? What?

 

[mourningdove~]

@Lady Bug

Thinking of you! How are things going in 'Lady Bug Land'?
(Hope all is going well!)

 

[RileyG]

Tell him no and tell him to get off your property. Go to the police if he doesn’t listen.

 

[Lady Bug]

Nothing has happened yet but a couple of days ago, that same relative got angry at my dad for not being allowed to come to the house. Sigh.

There is another "family friend" who has been fixated on me and I can't stand him. Ever since April of this year (when he came over for Eid), he has been asking to talk to me on the phone, and the couple of times that my dad has given the phone to him, he never stops talking and I can't take it. It can take 45 minutes to an hour for him to stop, and that's only if you make him stop. I stopped "letting" my dad give me the phone anymore and every time he calls my dad he asks for me or if I'm home. I can't stand him. I told my dad to please ask him why is he so focused/fixated on me and he won't do it, he just thinks the whole thing will calm down but it's been since April and he hasn't calmed down a single bit. He doesn't get the idea that I'm not interested in talking to him, and you would think that he would.

 

[mourningdove~]

Nothing has happened yet but a couple of days ago, that same relative got angry at my dad for not being allowed to come to the house. Sigh.

There is another "family friend" who has been fixated on me and I can't stand him. Ever since April of this year (when he came over for Eid), he has been asking to talk to me on the phone, and the couple of times that my dad has given the phone to him, he never stops talking and I can't take it. It can take 45 minutes to an hour for him to stop, and that's only if you make him stop. I stopped "letting" my dad give me the phone anymore and every time he calls my dad he asks for me or if I'm home. I can't stand him. I told my dad to please ask him why is he so focused/fixated on me and he won't do it, he just thinks the whole thing will calm down but it's been since April and he hasn't calmed down a single bit. He doesn't get the idea that I'm not interested in talking to him, and you would think that he would.

Thanks for posting the update.
I'm glad to hear you are doing okay with the situation.
Whatever you're doing appears to be physically keeping them away.
(And maybe God is protecting, too!)

 

[prodromos]

Get a bald wig and tell them the stress of them harassing you caused permanent hair loss. Maybe get a fake nose ring and some fake face tattoos.

 

[Lady Bug]

Thanks for posting the update.
I'm glad to hear you are doing okay with the situation.
Whatever you're doing appears to be physically keeping them away.
(And maybe God is protecting, too!)

Unfortunately no it's not over. It's only postponed

 

[joymercy]

Call non-emergency dispatch and ask to speak with an officer over the phone, explaining that you do not want a squad to respond, but need advice instead.

An officer will indeed call you back. Explain that you are very afraid and need help and ideas for how to handle this situation.

As this is domestic, you can always seek advice from a domestic violence women's shelter, whom often has on staff an attorney or can refer you to one for advice.

Start a paper trail now, not later.

Just a call results in a report and that is enough for creating some sort of record.

 

[RileyG]

Keep your doors and windows locked, and buy pepper spray if you need to.

 

[FaithT]

Unfortunately no it's not over. It's only postponed

What is it they say they want?

 

[chevyontheriver]

Nothing has happened yet but a couple of days ago, that same relative got angry at my dad for not being allowed to come to the house. Sigh.

There is another "family friend" who has been fixated on me and I can't stand him. Ever since April of this year (when he came over for Eid), he has been asking to talk to me on the phone, and the couple of times that my dad has given the phone to him, he never stops talking and I can't take it. It can take 45 minutes to an hour for him to stop, and that's only if you make him stop. I stopped "letting" my dad give me the phone anymore and every time he calls my dad he asks for me or if I'm home. I can't stand him. I told my dad to please ask him why is he so focused/fixated on me and he won't do it, he just thinks the whole thing will calm down but it's been since April and he hasn't calmed down a single bit. He doesn't get the idea that I'm not interested in talking to him, and you would think that he would.

You can hang up on him. People do that when necessary. A half dozen hang-ups and he might get the idea.

 

[Lady Bug]

What is it they say they want?

Well, the man is waiting until my dad gets home, to come over. The last time he wanted to come over, he was planning to bring his son. The thing is, my dad is weak and even if he recovers (physically), he is still too weak to fight this man off if he gets angry about something.

There are two toxic relatives in Pakistan (A and V), and even though they're toxic, they've warned us about this man (T) (although, their reasons for not wanting him to come over are motivated by their own self-interests - so I'm going to treat these two toxic relatives as broken clocks). An aunt (S) of these two relatives happened to let her nephew (B) come live with her and "take care of her." Over time she got bedridden and her legs were allegedly broken and she was not allowed out of bed (according to their story). It is true, however, that the aunt was unable to get out of bed any longer and she died. The nephew (B) had wanted to capture her house, and he did. His wife (SS) may have been in on it too because the wife has ten other brothers.

The man (T) who wants to come over is chummy with that nephew B (if you can still follow everything I'm saying). We don't know if that nephew is actually guilty of doing what he did, or if those two relatives are making it up, but even then, it's something to think about.

It pains me greatly to say this though but my dad is a sissy and cares more about his reputation than fending off toxic people like this since they are his relatives. He is more resistant to them since he's in the nursing home but the relatives are waiting for him to get out of the nursing home so that they can come over. I almost wish that they never have to find out if he goes home. Ironically, he's much safer being there because of this toxic relative situation, but he feels debilitated (mentally) by the loneliness. There is opportunity for interaction there but he prefers company he already knows.

 

[FaithT]

Well, the man is waiting until my dad gets home, to come over. The last time he wanted to come over, he was planning to bring his son. The thing is, my dad is weak and even if he recovers (physically), he is still too weak to fight this man off if he gets angry about something.

There are two toxic relatives in Pakistan (A and V), and even though they're toxic, they've warned us about this man (T) (although, their reasons for not wanting him to come over are motivated by their own self-interests - so I'm going to treat these two toxic relatives as broken clocks). An aunt (S) of these two relatives happened to let her nephew (B) come live with her and "take care of her." Over time she got bedridden and her legs were allegedly broken and she was not allowed out of bed (according to their story). It is true, however, that the aunt was unable to get out of bed any longer and she died. The nephew (B) had wanted to capture her house, and he did. His wife (SS) may have been in on it too because the wife has ten other brothers.

The man (T) who wants to come over is chummy with that nephew B (if you can still follow everything I'm saying). We don't know if that nephew is actually guilty of doing what he did, or if those two relatives are making it up, but even then, it's something to think about.

It pains me greatly to say this though but my dad is a sissy and cares more about his reputation than fending off toxic people like this since they are his relatives. He is more resistant to them since he's in the nursing home but the relatives are waiting for him to get out of the nursing home so that they can come over. I almost wish that they never have to find out if he goes home. Ironically, he's much safer being there because of this toxic relative situation, but he feels debilitated (mentally) by the loneliness. There is opportunity for interaction there but he prefers company he already knows.

But do they want to marry you off or something? Sorry if you answered that already, this whole situation is so confusing.

 

[Lady Bug]

But do they want to marry you off or something? Sorry if you answered that already, this whole situation is so confusing.

I think the man does