How to speak "Christianese"

SumTinWong · Feb 14, 2005

Like most groups, we Christians have a specialized language and terminology for those who are truly "in the know". Don't be an outsider! Learn these special deeply meaningful Christianese terms and phrases so you, too, can be spiritual! Or at least sound that way. Christianese: "If it be God's will."
Translation: "I really don't think God is going to answer this one.

Christianese: "Let's have a word of prayer."
Translation: "I am going to pray for a long, long, long time."

Christianese: "That's not my spiritual gift."
Translation: "Find someone else."

Christianese: "Fellowship"
Translation: "Organized gluttony."

Christianese: "The Lord works in mysterious ways."
Translation: "I'm totally clueless."

Christianese: "Lord willing . . ."
Translation: "You may think I'll be there, but I won't."

Christianese: "I don't feel led."
Translation: "Can't make me."

Christianese: "She has such a sweet spirit!"
Translation: "What an airhead!"

Christianese: "I have a 'check' in my spirit about him."
Translation: "I can't stand that jerk!"

Christianese: "Prayer concerns"
Translation: "Gossip"

Christianese: "In conclusion . . . "
Translation: "I'll be done in another hour or so."

Christianese: "You just have to put it in God's hands."
Translation: "Don't expect me to help you."

Christianese: "God wants to prosper you!"
Translation: "Give me all your money."

rural_preacher · Feb 14, 2005

LOL!

My whole family enjoyed this one.

--

ZiSunka · Feb 14, 2005

Christianese: "I don't feel led."
Alternate translation: "I don't want to."

Kentucky_Girl · Feb 14, 2005

These are great!

Sword-In-Hand · Feb 14, 2005

Christianese: "We'll just let the Lord lead."
Translation: "I have no idea how to plan things."

Christianese: "Just pray and wait."
Translation: "Bug God, not me."

LavendarVanilla · Feb 14, 2005

These are wonderful!

DH and I have several ourselves that we think are funny........ I'll have to get back with them later......

SumTinWong · Feb 14, 2005

"I'm blessed"
Means: "life sucks, but I have my head buried in the sand and am avoiding all issues in my life in favor of seeking after religious experiences"....)

"I love you in the Lord"
Means: I CAN'T STAND you in the natural! LOL!!! )

"Dance in the Spirit"
Means: It's Ok to dance a jig in church, so long as we believe that God gives the moves. Just move your feet, silly. We'll supply the music. Better not have a human partner!

"Nominal Christian"
Means: Normal Christian, not one with super-gifts. Those in other churches.

"OF God"
Means: What we perceive as good... looks holy. (All white)

"OF Satan"
Means: What we perceive as bad... looks evil. (All black)

"OF the flesh"
Means: Anything people do that we just don't think is right.

"Slain in the Spirit"
Means: We knock them down & expect you to believe God did it.

"God put it on my heart"
Means: "I really want to tell you this (or really want to do this) and if I just say I WANT to, you'll be able to tell me why I shouldn't, but if I tell you GOD SAID then you can't argue with it, can you?

"I'm discerning an attitude!"
Means: I am about to rip one of your heads off in public to make you an example of what happens to anyone who crosses me.

After "Joe" leaves the church it is said of him: "Oh, Joe wouldn't let us pastor him".
Means: Joe wouldn't submit enough and let us control/manipulate him.

All for now anyway

ZiSunka · Feb 14, 2005

"I'm passing a long this information about Jane so you can pray about it."
Translation: "I want to gossip and seem spiritual at the same time."

"The Lord told me to tell you..."
Translation: "You won't listen to me so I'll pretend my words come from a higher authority."

"The Holy Spirit is trying to talk to you but you won't receive it."
Translation: "I'm trying to give you advice but you are too ignorant or stubborn to know it's brilliant."

"I have this prophetic word for you."
Translation: "I want you to look up to me as a spiritual leader."

SumTinWong · Feb 14, 2005

Very good LL!

Sword-In-Hand · Feb 14, 2005

Love the sinner, hate the sin
"Don't really think about the sin, but gossip like crazy about the sinner."

fairyshyone · Feb 14, 2005

LOL I am passing these on to my family and friends.

mesue · Feb 14, 2005

good one!

ZiSunka · Feb 14, 2005

"I have a discerning spirit."
Means: "I am proud of how I can monopolize a Bible study."

"God's going to raise up a prophet in this church."
Means: "We're tired of having to think for ourselves so we are going to find someone who will do all the thinking for us."

Iollain · Feb 14, 2005

rural_preacher · Feb 15, 2005

lambslove said:
"God's going to raise up a prophet in this church."
Means: "We're tired of having to think for ourselves so we are going to find someone who will do all the thinking for us."

Ain't that the truth!!

--

SumTinWong · Feb 15, 2005

lambslove said:
"I have a discerning spirit."
Means: "I am proud of how I can monopolize a Bible study."

Hey I know that church

rural_preacher · Feb 15, 2005

Uncle Bud said:
Hey I know that church

I've been there too! Maybe we've met.

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SumTinWong · Feb 15, 2005

If not then, or now, in heaven for sure

Andyman_1970 · Feb 15, 2005

lambslove said:
"God's going to raise up a prophet in this church."
Means: "We're tired of having to think for ourselves so we are going to find someone who will do all the thinking for us."

I laughed so hard I just about spit gatorade all over my screen - God forbid we think for ourselves..........LOL

Andyman_1970 · Feb 15, 2005

lambslove said:
"I'm passing a long this information about Jane so you can pray about it."
Translation: "I want to gossip and seem spiritual at the same time."

How true and how sad...................

How to speak "Christianese"

Living with BPD

Well-Known Member

It means 'yellow dog'

Active Member

Born again to raze hell

Active Member

Living with BPD

It means 'yellow dog'

Living with BPD

Born again to raze hell

Mom to Sarah Jo

Love all, trust a few. Do wrong to none.

It means 'yellow dog'

Jer 18:2-6

Well-Known Member

Living with BPD

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Living with BPD

Trying to walk in His dust...............

Trying to walk in His dust...............

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