Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.
I like your discipline options. I use them mysef. I've raised six daughters without spanking and I've recently adopted two little girls from Romania and I'm raising them the same way. NO SPANKING EVER!!!If you punish when angry or irritated or upset or _____ which isn't both calm and at peace, then most all of us will agree it's a serious mistake, because you'd be taking out your anger on your child.
Instead:
1) Example is more powerful than any punishments. They copy their parents and other main influences.
2) Set a consequence ahead of time. Not after the fact.
3) Use natural consequences. example: child ignores you and spills milk. Natural consequence: they have to clean it up to the best of their age ability, even if it takes minutes of effort. Remembering age limits. A 4 year old can only do so much.
Another natural consequence: confess to host you ate more cookies than they said each can have and apologize to child that did not get any, and give them something of yours to make up for it.
4) Use logical consequences: you can't stop interrupting, so after the 2nd warning, a third time will mean you have a time out in your room (for number of minutes equal to age in years).
Spanking is wrong and it doesn't convey what it should to the child. All it taught him was that violence is the only way to settle matters. Shame on you, spanking a child that is defenceless should be criminal!!!I spanked mine for something I never wanted him to do . I went out for a few minutes and asked him to stay in the house until I got back. He went out , disappeared and left the front and inside door wide open. He got spanked because he put us in danger by his actions. I agree with the you-messed-it-up-you-clean-it. Though I would insist that they do a decent job . If they learn that it takes a lot of effort to clean up something, they’re less inclined to mess up
You should never ever spank a child. Although if youdo, you should only use your hand NEVER ANYTHING ELSE!!Once you use a belt or paddle you are committing child abuse and you should be arrested!!1. Depends on the age, start with hand and do it firmly and gently and explain why you did it
2. Diapers or clothing in most instances yes.
3. I recommend not spanking on impulse (though it can happen), instead pause, and do it with a calmed down mindset. It should hurt you emotionally as much as it hurts them. You should not really want to do it, but out of necessity. So two or three times at most and STOP. Again you talk to them and tell them not to do it again and remind what will happen if they persist with the same behavior.
4. You upgrade to a belt, and exercise the same principal of self-control, and be firm so they know the parent is in control and they are not. Parents who let the child walk over them like a doormat can just expect more of the same, and it only gets worse as the child grows older.
5. It's always good to pray, I've actually prayed to God I would not accidentally go too far in dealing with bad behavior. It's not easy, especially when a child persists as though you did not punish them, day in and day out, it can seem like they will never learn when things change so little or not at all. Always try to be patient and keep the communication going, eventually they should get the idea, it's rough though, I know all about it!
I should note, children are different, some require more discipline than others, some require little, but I think it is common (could be wrong) for them to try to push their boundaries and manipulate the punishment system.
I love your post. It's great to hear from somebody that agrees that spanking is wrong and should never be used as discipline. Thank you so much and God Bless!!!I have a idea,
Dont spank them.
There are other effective ways to discipline, All a spanking does is tell the child how to be violent.
Yes I know the old tell of spare the rod spoil the child.
But is this not telling us to spare the rod? and to spoil the child?
Reverse it.
If you discipline your children in different ways they will still learn, and also learn how not to be violent.
Is this my opinion?
No, its a practiced proven fact.
God bless you in your journey.
I liked your post and I agree with most of it. However, there is no need to hit school on the hand of anywhere else. You need to learn other ways to get your point across. I am crisis councelor for children of abuse and I know what I'm talking about. You need to visit my office some day and see and talk to some of the innocent little children that I help and you would change your mind about hitting. I've also raised six daughters ( by myself and I'm a man ) without hitting or spanking ever and I'm in the process of raising two little girls that I adopted from Romania and am raising them the same way. No hitting on my house!!The bible says not to spare the rod, so if you want to hold to biblical truths, I guess a stick would do it..
Little children it's just a tap on the hand, I used two fingers and not a hard tap but a stern voice. And then within minutes once they calmed down I would hold them and love them up. Kids need lots of loving and learn the word no early on and you can probably use the rod so to speak sparingly, as in seldom required.. If you train your kids up well when still toddlers you may not have to spank them later on at all. That's the important ages, where no really means no. I see parents today put up with some whiny brat only because they created it and still put up with it. I see terrible parenting skills in for instance restaurants, the kids run the parents because the parents never took action and now the kid is 7 and still no action.. When they hit the teens years it will become unbearable and maybe uncontrollable and far too late.
That saying from Proverbs is way out dated and does not fit into the time of Jesus. You need to read the New Testament where Jesus is for love, kindness, and compassion for children. Jesus loves little children and says anyone who hurts a little child will be fast into the lake of fire. WOULD JESUS EVER SPANK A CHILD? The answer is a resounding ( " NEVER" )!!! FORGET WHAT THE BOOK OF PROVERBS SAYS ABOUT "SPARING THE FOR AND SPOILING A CHILD". The right way to correct a child is without hitting and spanking!!Proverbs 13:24
Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.
You should never spank a child ever. It's wrong and it is abuse and it should be banned!!Of course you don't want to abuse anyone. You spank enough just so that there is pain. Overdoing it is abuse and that happens when people spank out of anger. You calm down before you ever spank a child.
The whole idea behind spanking is that a person learns from a young age to associate wrongdoing with pain. In other words, wrongdoing has painful consequences is what you are teaching your child.
you should never use corporal punishment as discipline. I mean really, there are other ways to discipline without pain. I just don't understand why godparents don't use the other methods that work better than spankings. Are they sadist and enjoy spanking children or are they just ignorant. I raised six daughters with out hitting or spanking and they are very well adjusted and loving young adults. I read all the statistics and reports about how spanking affects children then and later in life. Ask your delinquents, your murderers, your child abusers and they will tell you that they were spanked as children. That should tell all you people out there that spanking is harmful and so I affect the child negatively. Like I said I raised six beautiful little girls without hitting and apanking: I never even considered it because I loved and respected my daughter's and treated them with dignity. A spanked child has their dignity stripped away. Do you hit another adut, do you hit an animal, do we hit prisoners? The answer is no so why do we hit our children. Think about it we treat prisoners and animals better than we treat our children!!!I don't know if you're asking for discipline advice or permission to apply corporal punishment?! Wow!
#1. Words of love.
#2. Always clothed.
#3. Seriously? Is this a child or criminal?
#4. Hold them snugly but not too tightly and calm him down with soothing words that are non-threatening.
#5. You should always pray before applying bodily harm to anyone, especially a child. Maybe pray with your child to let them know you see and hear them, even in their wrong-doings.
you should never use corporal punishment as discipline. I mean really, there are other ways to discipline without pain. I just don't understand why godparents don't use the other methods that work better than spankings. Are they sadist and enjoy spanking children or are they just ignorant. I raised six daughters with out hitting or spanking and they are very well adjusted and loving young adults. I read all the statistics and reports about how spanking affects children then and later in life. Ask your delinquents, your murderers, your child abusers and they will tell you that they were spanked as children. That should tell all you people out there that spanking is harmful and so I affect the child negatively. Like I said I raised six beautiful little girls without hitting and apanking: I never even considered it because I loved and respected my daughter's and treated them with dignity. A spanked child has their dignity stripped away. Do you hit another adut, do you hit an animal, do we hit prisoners? The answer is no so why do we hit our children. Think about it we treat prisoners and animals better than we treat our children!!!
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?