How to react?

[Cary]

Last week my Pastor preached on Matthew 7:1 - "Judge not, that ye be not judged" - Sometimes we may hear something about somebody from somebody else and then believe it and it's easy to jump to conclusions. I personally try not to believe something about somebody unless I hear it from themselves...or if there's any doubt I would go up to the person and say, "Hey, I heard so-and-so about you...is that true?" and try to figure out what the real truth is. Okay, let's try to imagine a certain situation. Let's say you have a real close friend. You then hear something from another friend about your close friend. That stuff surprises you...and you don't want to believe it, but you want to know if it's the truth. So you then confront your close friend and ask them about it. But what happens when you confront that person about the issue and they tell you that there's no truth to what was heard and they give you what is supposedly the "real story" instead? But - deep down inside at the time when they're talking to you, you know exactly what the real truth is and that they're lying to you.

How should you react to that situation? You'd probably want to go up to the person and ask them, "Why did you lie to me?"...but would that be appropriate? Or should we just forget about it all? And now a whole bunch of new questions and thoughts come to your mind. WHY would they lie to you? Are they trying to hide something from you? Well, wouldn't true friends be honest with each other at all times?

I'm searching for some answers, so if anybody has any thoughts, I'd love to hear them...and sorry if I posted this in the wrong forum!

 

[Godzchild]

True friends shouldn't lie but sometimes they do. My advice is to tell them that you 'heard' a different story to what they told and you want to know which one is true. That way you're not actually accusing them of anything. IF they then continue to lie then I'd say you give them the benefit of the doubt for the time being. Pray about it and eventually the real truth will come out or it won't. Either way, your friend will either stay your friend or will eventually move on.

 

[BigNorsk]

First off, people, all people, sin. If the criteria for being your friend is to be perfect, then you might as well give up now.

Secondly, why is your friend so scared to tell you the truth? Have you blabbed (gossiped) about others so the friend knows the information is not safe with you (you cannot be trusted). How do you react when you hear the truth, do you punish your friend? Do you refuse to talk to him or something like that? Maybe you do the popular one of saving that until the two of you have an arguement and then using it for ammo (even when it has nothing to do with the arguement) in order to win at any price. You seem assurred the other person knows the truth, why would that person tell you the truth and your friend be afraid to? Are you certain the other has no reason to lie.

You ask about your friend, but your question should be broader, and include yourself or others.

Your friend almost certainly fears something will happen that he doesn't want to have happen if he tells the truth. You need to figure out what his fear is.

As for doubt remaining, think about it the next time you pray the Lord's prayer and ask God to forgive you in the same way you forgive others. If you don't really forgive, you are asking God to treat your sins the same way.

Marv

 

[dvd_holc]

Remember, love is why we are here. Forgive your friend if he does. I would say go to them and speak of the matter. Don't accuss the friend, but make them comfortable to tell the truth. Make sure you do so empatizing gentleness and humility. When the truth is spoken be thankful for it. Reaffrim to your friend that he/she can come to you and speak to you about anything, and lie break down your relationship. Display to your friend the love of God.