How to react if a girl flirts with you?

Miss Spaulding · May 3, 2014

^ That's a hard question because I've found that there are quite a few different interpretations of what flirtatious behavior is. And frankly, often these interpretations can be wrong and the behavior they're perceiving as flirting is not but perfectly innocent. I know I've been perceived as flirtatious before at times when that wasn't the case at all. I'm an extremely down-to-earth woman who feels most comfortable/relaxed in the company of men...

I'm just saying that flirtatious behavior is difficult to pin-point at times. Not always of course, lol.

MarkSB · May 3, 2014

Miss Spaulding said:
^ That's a hard question because I've found that there are quite a few different interpretations of what flirtatious behavior is. And frankly, often these interpretations can be wrong and the behavior they're perceiving as flirting is not but perfectly innocent. I know I've been perceived as flirtatious before at times when that wasn't the case at all. I'm an extremely down-to-earth woman who feels most comfortable/relaxed in the company of men...

I'm just saying that flirtatious behavior is difficult to pin-point at times. Not always of course, lol.

I sometimes think that there's women who act kind of snobbish sometimes so men won't misinterpret any friendly behavior as flirting, and I can't say that I blame them really. Like there's a woman at my work who most men would classify as 'good looking' (she's not exactly my type, but whatever), and some of the new guys don't take to her very well b/c I think she can come off as being a bit of a snob when you first meet her. Once you get to know her though, she seems more down to earth and like a nicer person - so it might be a bit of a defense mechanism, I dunno.

Deidre32 · May 3, 2014

MarkSB said:
I sometimes think that there's women who act kind of snobbish sometimes so men won't misinterpret any friendly behavior as flirting, and I can't say that I blame them really. Like there's a woman at my work who most men would classify as 'good looking' (she's not exactly my type, but whatever), and some of the new guys don't take to her very well b/c I think she can come off as being a bit of a snob when you first meet her. Once you get to know her though, she seems more down to earth and like a nicer person - so it might be a bit of a defense mechanism, I dunno.

Well, she's there to work not make all the guys feel good about themselves. lol

MarkSB · May 3, 2014

Deidre32 said:
Well, she's there to work not make all the guys feel good about themselves. lol

Lol. Yeah I agree. Sometimes it would extend into work-related conversations though, or at least it felt like it did when I first started talking to her. And that's the only time I really talk to her, is if its work-related.

redblue22 · May 3, 2014

Hi, I'm . . .

What do you want?

Well, I wanted to ask you . . .

Can this wait? I'm here to work, not make you feel good about yourself.

Ok. bye.

(Later passes and a girlfriend shows up.)

Did you ask Dan to come?

I tried to ask him but he was working on something more important.

.

Nanopants · May 3, 2014

Wouldn't it be nice if we could take the annoyance of flirting out of the picture entirely, and reduce relationships to something like a business arrangement?

Oh, wait, we have a word for that already.

MarkSB · May 3, 2014

I was about to respond to the OP, then I noticed that it was from 2010.

Owlette · May 3, 2014

redblue22 · May 3, 2014

I'm the same way. I feel most comfortable with women.

.

Deidre32 · May 3, 2014

redblue22 said:
Hi, I'm . . .

What do you want?

Well, I wanted to ask you . . .

Can this wait? I'm here to work, not make you feel good about yourself.

Ok. bye.

(Later passes and a girlfriend shows up.)

Did you ask Dan to come?

I tried to ask him but he was working on something more important.

.

HAHAHAHA!

I am laughing for real. That reads so funny!
You're funny

(Not flirting just an observation) lol!

Saucy · May 3, 2014

Owlette said:
Yeah sometimes I'm just being friendly and have zero intention of flirting. I hope people don't misinterpret that. If I like a guy, I'd be more likely to be really shy towards him

You're usually shy towards me

TheCountRox · May 3, 2014

Depends on how she's flirting, and whether or not I'm interested.

There's no "one size fits all" answer. Maybe she's genuinely interested, maybe she's just wanting some male validation and maybe she is a waitress just hoping for the bigger tip. You can't really know unless you know her a little better.

The girl you're more likely to be interested in is probably not going to flirt right away. They'll want to know you better first.

leothelioness · May 3, 2014

TheCountRox said:
The girl you're more likely to be interested in is probably not going to flirt right away. They'll want to know you better first.

This is how I am. I am not a naturally flirtatious person. To me it's completely pointless if you don't know the person. I would want to get to know the person better before I would be comfortable enough to be flirtatious (as much as I can be ).

MarkSB · May 3, 2014

TheCountRox said:
Depends on how she's flirting, and whether or not I'm interested.

There's no "one size fits all" answer. Maybe she's genuinely interested, maybe she's just wanting some male validation and maybe she is a waitress just hoping for the bigger tip. You can't really know unless you know her a little better.

The girl you're more likely to be interested in is probably not going to flirt right away. They'll want to know you better first.

Yeah, that's pretty much my take on it. If a girl flirts with me, especially the first time that we talk, I usually think that it wouldn't be a good relationship.

Owlette · May 3, 2014

^Same here… I get "smothered" really easy if a guy flirts with me without getting to know me first. It makes me really uncomfortable.

Miss Spaulding · May 3, 2014

Owlette said:
^Same here I get "smothered" really easy if a guy flirts with me without getting to know me first. It makes me really uncomfortable.

Ugh, yes. I get smothered extremely easily. Him flirting right off the bat would be way too much for me.

I want to add some more to this but I'm on my phone, soo...alas.

Saucy · May 3, 2014

In all seriousness, it is difficult for me to determine. There have been times I was flirted with and didn't pick it up at all. Other times I thought they were flirting and they weren't. So I'm really bad at determining what is or isn't flirting lol.

And being the kind of guy I am, I'm always nice to others and often smile at them upon first meeting them and I joke around a lot, so it's always mistaken for flirting.

How do I react when I like someone? I can't pinpoint that down because it's different every time. Sometimes I just keep it to myself. Sometimes I'm obvious. Sometimes I'm not. It just depends.

leothelioness · May 4, 2014

Miss Spaulding said:
Ugh, yes. I get smothered extremely easily. Him flirting right off the bat would be way too much for me.

I want to add some more to this but I'm on my phone, soo...alas.

Oh, me too. I smother very easily if someone wants any amount of time from me. Which is why I'm still single and probably should stay that way.

TheyCallMeDavid · May 4, 2014

88Devin07 said:
I've been wondering this for a long time, but I've wanted to ask other Christians about this...

I've always been told by friends and family that girls have flirted with me my whole life, but I've usually haven't noticed, or thought it was just them being friendly. Now that I realize it when it happens, I have no clue how to react to it.

This has happened in school as well as at restaurants and other places. If a girl flirts with me, I usually use every ounce of my reasoning to consider other reasons she might be doing so. (I don't really think I would be someone many girls would be interested in)
An example would be that if a waitress flirts with me, I don't assume she likes me, I usually assume she is trying to get a good tip. (I don't mean that in a bad/mean way)

Am I justified in thinking that a girl may not be flirting because she likes me or is this simply stupid?

What does a guy do when a girl flirts with him?
What do you do if you have family with you? If your with a bunch of other guys?

I would first take it as a compliment because it is this persons way of trying to establish rapport with you and probably has an interest in getting to know you better. The person is trying to make the statement (obvious or not so obvious) that they have taken an interest in you to some level.
I believe sensible flirting is more or less akin to bees doing a dance to attract the other, so, if done sensibly....it is a permissible way of expressing oneself.

How you react is entirely up to you. If you feel like youd enjoy getting to know her better , then you engage in 'the dance' or you can remain neutral and not engage . By engaging, Im referring to you outwardly responding verbally so she gets the feeling that you too are interested in her more than averagely . Basically, the control of the situation is up to the Reciever and it is your choice how you want it to proceed.

I have found myself on both sides of the equation and when im on the receiving end, I either make it known that I too am interested or I recede in my emotions and not capitalize on what is going down at the moment yet still be sociable , pleasant, and courteous. I would say it just takes some practice when the situation arises...and it certainly will given time.

Make sense ???

Miss Spaulding · May 4, 2014

leothelioness said:
Oh, me too. I smother very easily if someone wants any amount of time from me. Which is why I'm still single and probably should stay that way.

Yeah, I'm started to think this way too.

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