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How to react if a girl flirts with you?

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TanteBelle

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I usually stammer uncontrollably before saying something stupid.

You know that episode of Futurama where Kiff keeps trying to be honest with Amy and keeps hyperventilating? Yeah, I can sympathize with that.

I heard a song that was done back in the 80's or 90's that was about a bloke who liked a girl but he stuttered all the time whenever he tried to talk to her! Oh, crikey, that was cute! LOL! I mean, the bloke looked like a swaggie, but yeah, it was hilarious!!!
 
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Edwards1984

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I also like Eddie Izzard's stand up bit about first liking a girl - it's so true to life. You're in the middle of puberty, you like a girl in school, and you want to say something super romantic that will make her swoon into a puddle of love, but all that comes out is:

"*cockny accent* Hello Sue! Do you like bread?"
 
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TanteBelle

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LOL! What?
 
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Edwards1984

Guest
Yeah, I get that, but bread????? Righto! LOL!

It was classic British comical exaggeration. The idea was you want to say something romantic like, "As the sun shone upon your hair, it sparkled like the radiant glow of a diamond," or something like that, but instead you say something stupid like, "Um...do you like bread?" Which leaves you thinking:
 
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ProAntiRevolution

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It's a chicken and the egg question really. Are so many protestant churches geared heavily to women and men leave, or are they geared heavily to women because that's all that shows up? Sermon driven protestant church services have to, by nature, cater to the audience. In that regard I think you'd find the sermons in a largely black church geared towards black community issues, or a predominately Asian church you'd have sermons geared towards people in that community.
When you have a 60/40 or 70/30 split you really can't complain that the pastor is gearing the church towards the people that actually show up in the pews come Sunday morning. So maybe the way to get men's issues more time is to show up regularly. Or you could just go to a Liturgical church where the worship is about God, and not coming up with something relevant to the people in the pews.
 
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Edwards1984

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Uh...did I miss something?
 
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TanteBelle

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Actually, a bloke would have better luck getting a conversation out of me if he said the latter. With the former, the least I'd do is ask him what he's had to drink!
 
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white dove

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Sometimes, when people "flirt," it is:

1. Because they think you're cute/hot/handsome
2. Because they are interested in you on some level
3. Because that is just their personality and it means nothing to them to be friendly in that way toward you
4. Because they enjoy flirting/enjoy the attention and/or interaction


If you notice someone flirting with you who you have absolutely no interest in (which will happen and I'm sure has happened to you), be kind and try not to lead that person on by flirting back. It's pointless and mean. Even if you wanted the practice, you can do so in better circumstances than this and there is no reason to be a jerk.

If you notice someone flirting with you and you may be interested or are interested, just be yourself and be friendly right back. Take the other person's cues (because some people have limits on how they flirt) and be respectful and mindful of those. Be real. If you think she's funny, laugh. If you think she's too pretty for words, smile. There is no manual on such a thing (thank God - or at least there shouldn't be), so just go with it naturally.

*Also, waiters and bartenders: You are actually correct there (I included bartenders because it is the same thing with them). Ask anyone who's ever worked in a restaurant or bar how waiters/waitresses and bar staff play the game. I wouldn't put too much stock in flirtations on either part. They're used to it (both flirting and having countless patrons flirt back). If you want to, flirt back and play along.


As far as what people do when they're flirting, that can vary from person to person; from a smile to a wink to a laugh at a joke that's not even funny to an outright "I hope to see you again." It really depends on the person. If you have family with you or your guys around you, that's up to you what you feel most comfortable with. For me, it would be incredibly odd to flirt in front of my family unless me and the guy were already in a relationship (I believe in flirting well after a relationship has begun). It also might depend on how "wing-man" ish your guy friends are. Or if they're jerks, I might refrain from flirting in front of them. It depends on you though.
 
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soccerdad66

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I was one of the guys who was clueless about it for a long time, but partly because I'm naturally friendly anyhow.

There's a some good advice already, but I would add if not mentioned, but try to relax as much as possible, and it'll put them at ease too, either way, if you like them be easier to communicate, or if you don't, "rejection" will be easier to take.
 
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