how to pray...

[trustinhim83]

How do you stop your mind while you are trying to pray? I have been a Christian for 20 years (although not always a good Christian), and you would think I'd know how to do this by now. However, this problem gets worse and worse with time.
Every time I try to go to a quiet place to pray, my mind literally interrupts within a matter of seconds. Other random thoughts creep in, a stanza from a random song I heard that day playing over and over again... anything and everything distracts me. I'll even gets ticks or repetative movements..like I can't sit still and just focus on the prayer. My mind literally will not stop. Then, ten minutes later I'll realize that I am off in wonderland in my head, and have not prayed but for a few seconds. Even at church, I can't stop the dialogue in my head long enough to focus prayer. It's sad...
I do lots of relaxing things like take hot baths with Lavender, get a massage, go for a walk. I've tried to stop my mind while doing these things, and then it will not stop either. I've even tried a 20 minute nap meditation CD created by a doctor- impossible. The CD literally just puts me deeper into thought, instead of a nap.
I guess the big question is how do you quiet your mind?

 

[Loven God]

I to have so many things going on in my mind at one time , the close I got to quieting my mind is to fouces on one thing but that one thing still interfears with my praying . What I do when i am praying and my mind goes off on it's own I ask God to forgive me and go back to praying where I left off and continue that way untill I am done praying . I probely have to ask God to forgive me over a dozen or more times before I am done . God is awesome and forgives every time and knows my prayers even when they don't make since to me .

 

[ChristianSambodhi]

I have this problem too. I went to church for the first time in a long while, and I had problems praying. My mind kept popping up with completely random images, songs, and thoughts. I agree, the older I get, the harder it is to focus during prayer. However, I also notice that there are times when my mind calls out to God. Like when secular stuff interrupts prayer time, sometimes spiritual thinking interrupts my daily life. When this happens, I literally stop in the middle of the day and try to use those times to pray/meditate on God. Sometimes it seems like the harder I try to control my mind or the more I think about it, the harder it is to let go and focus.

How do you stop your mind, in general? I am not sure because I have a hard time with that myself. I downloaded an app for my iPad and it has rain sounds. It's not repetitive (which is what I hate about noise boxes or other 'relaxation' tracks) and helps sometimes. I also find fan sounds to be calming. I do use scents at times in combination with music or sounds. Sometimes I take something to make sure I get a deep sleep; that way the next day I will wake up refreshed and that usually helps me get control of my mind.

 

[Loven God]

I do like my candles some of the scents can be caliming . Slow old church hems help me to , or just talking to a frind that has a soft calm sounding voice helps me to . I to do have times when I hear God call out to me which is caliming because it lets me know He is still there with me even if I don't feel Him all the time .

 

[gracealone]

Hi Trustinhim,
Although I don't have bipolar disorder I do have OCD and therefore my mind can be bombarding me with all sorts of random thoughts and images when I'm praying. I feel like my mind is generally attending to 10 subjects all at once even when I'm not praying.
Anyhow with OCD, once you become aware, that you're not focusing on God or that your mind has wandered off while praying you can feel extremely guilt ridden about it. But the problem is that the harder you try to focus the less focused you will actually be. All your attention will be on the fact that you aren't focusing and things just get worse and worse.
For me, I've come to accept the fact that my mind is going to do this when I pray and when I realise my mind if off on some other tangent I don't get upset about it. Instead I just gently turn my thoughts back to my conversation with God and continue. This can happen over and over but I know that to God it's no big deal. He understands how my brain operates due to my illness so it's no big shock to Him that this kind of thing happens.
One time I read a letter CS Lewis had written to a friend about how he had struggled with this very thing. He said that the more he fought against it the worse it got so he finally just realized that he had to let go of beating himself up about it because: "therein lies the way of madness."
I also carry on a conversation with God on and off throughout my whole day. There are many times when it occurs to me that I need to approach Him in prayer about one thing or another so during those times I just talk to Him just as I would a family member living in the same house with me. In this way I am practicing living in His presence and the conversation with him flows freely from my heart to His. Sometimes it's just a moment or two of praising Him for how good He is to me. He has a way of reminding me of His presence via His Spirit and when He does I always take a moment to acknowledge His activity in my life.
This is how I handle this and it's helped me tremendously to just let go of it and not to make a big issue of it. God loves all His children and continually seeks a relationship of communicating with us. He knows we may be distracted, kind of like a child with ADHD but He still wants us to talk to Him and come to Him with our needs. He's our loving and patient Father, not a college professor who is ready to flunk us from prayer 101 because we have trouble focusing.

How do you stop your mind while you are trying to pray? I have been a Christian for 20 years (although not always a good Christian), and you would think I'd know how to do this by now. However, this problem gets worse and worse with time.
Every time I try to go to a quiet place to pray, my mind literally interrupts within a matter of seconds. Other random thoughts creep in, a stanza from a random song I heard that day playing over and over again... anything and everything distracts me. I'll even gets ticks or repetative movements..like I can't sit still and just focus on the prayer. My mind literally will not stop. Then, ten minutes later I'll realize that I am off in wonderland in my head, and have not prayed but for a few seconds. Even at church, I can't stop the dialogue in my head long enough to focus prayer. It's sad...
I do lots of relaxing things like take hot baths with Lavender, get a massage, go for a walk. I've tried to stop my mind while doing these things, and then it will not stop either. I've even tried a 20 minute nap meditation CD created by a doctor- impossible. The CD literally just puts me deeper into thought, instead of a nap.
I guess the big question is how do you quiet your mind?

 

[trustinhim83]

However, I also notice that there are times when my mind calls out to God. Like when secular stuff interrupts prayer time, sometimes spiritual thinking interrupts my daily life. When this happens, I literally stop in the middle of the day and try to use those times to pray/meditate on God. Sometimes it seems like the harder I try to control my mind or the more I think about it, the harder it is to let go and focus.

Wow! This happens to me a lot, but I never thought to take that particular time to go into prayer, or meditating on God. I guess I have taken those moments for grantit. Thinking of it this way opens a whole new door for me though. Thanks!

 

[trustinhim83]

I do like my candles some of the scents can be caliming . Slow old church hems help me to , or just talking to a frind that has a soft calm sounding voice helps me to

These things are helpful to me as well. Also helpful: hot baths, essential oils (Lavender, Ylang Ylang, or Camomile), massages (I know it can get expensive, but I get them for free once a month at my job so take advantage), sitting in the steam room at the gym, going for a walk, cooking (when I have enough energy). These things seem to help me with overall sense of well being, and taking care of myself- even when I feel terrible.

 

[trustinhim83]

One time I read a letter CS Lewis had written to a friend about how he had struggled with this very thing. He said that the more he fought against it the worse it got so he finally just realized that he had to let go of beating himself up about it because: "therein lies the way of madness."

Gracealone, I would quote your entire reply as it was ALL extremely helpful! However, decided to focus on just this one part abt CS Lewis. I love reading CS Lewis (again, when I can quiet my mind enough, and focus to do so), and would love to find these letters, or where this quote came from. That is really helpful! For all we know, maybe eve he was Bipolar?? Who knows...I do know that just ordinary people can struggle with this though. I am not sure that it's to the extent that people with Bipolar can struggle with it because I am not sure how "normal" feels.
I do know that a lot of people with Bipolar also are living with a lot of guilt, and carrying around heavy burdens that they really need to confess out loud, ask for forgiveness for, and KNOW that they are forgiven. Bipolar people often might do/say things while manic or depressed even that does not align with what they know is right, true, and what they really believe in their heart. So carry a lot of guilt abt. these things while not during an episode and might block themselves by avoiding prayer. Any moment for that matter where you can FEEL the weight of the burden or the guilt is sometimes avoided. I have been through this before, but not now. I have been working through a lot of these things in prayer already, and talking about it with other Christians. Going to scripture. It does take awhile to really feel as though your actually are forgiven, and believe it. You have to KNOW that God has already done that work, and just trust him, move on and have peace abt your life. I have also found that turning to prayer for others, and helping others through the things I have struggled with really help. In this, you also give yourself more time to heal.
Thank you a lot for your advice! I'm going to go on searching for that CS Lewis quote.

 

[quietpraiyze]

How do you stop your mind while you are trying to pray? I have been a Christian for 20 years (although not always a good Christian), and you would think I'd know how to do this by now. However, this problem gets worse and worse with time.
Every time I try to go to a quiet place to pray, my mind literally interrupts within a matter of seconds. Other random thoughts creep in, a stanza from a random song I heard that day playing over and over again... anything and everything distracts me. I'll even gets ticks or repetative movements..like I can't sit still and just focus on the prayer. My mind literally will not stop. Then, ten minutes later I'll realize that I am off in wonderland in my head, and have not prayed but for a few seconds. Even at church, I can't stop the dialogue in my head long enough to focus prayer. It's sad...
I do lots of relaxing things like take hot baths with Lavender, get a massage, go for a walk. I've tried to stop my mind while doing these things, and then it will not stop either. I've even tried a 20 minute nap meditation CD created by a doctor- impossible. The CD literally just puts me deeper into thought, instead of a nap.
I guess the big question is how do you quiet your mind?

Well for me it kind of depends because sometimes I do the "get quiet and pray" thing. But actually I spend my day talking to the Lord because for me He's "omnipresent". So I'm aware of Him as I go through my day if that makes sense. When it comes to trying to the "quiet prayer time" and focusing, I just stop when my mind starts to wander and tell the Lord I'm sorry.

I found out for me I don't wander as much if I'm focused on something in the Word or something is happening that I need to talk to Him about. I also ask the Holy Spirit for His help and sometimes I just come back at a later time because I can't pull in. I guess that's why I like talking to the Lord all throughout my day because when I'm in Im in and when I'm out I'm out. Also time of day makes a difference for me. I love sitting on my patio at a certain time and experiencing the quiet. God is in the quiet too!

I think overall if we just ask the Lord to help us with this problem He will.

 

[wdkkjansen]

Well for me it kind of depends because sometimes I do the "get quiet and pray" thing. But actually I spend my day talking to the Lord because for me He's "omnipresent". So I'm aware of Him as I go through my day if that makes sense. When it comes to trying to the "quiet prayer time" and focusing, I just stop when my mind starts to wander and tell the Lord I'm sorry.

I found out for me I don't wander as much if I'm focused on something in the Word or something is happening that I need to talk to Him about. I also ask the Holy Spirit for His help and sometimes I just come back at a later time because I can't pull in. I guess that's why I like talking to the Lord all throughout my day because when I'm in Im in and when I'm out I'm out. Also time of day makes a difference for me. I love sitting on my patio at a certain time and experiencing the quiet. God is in the quiet too!

I think overall if we just ask the Lord to help us with this problem He will.

I am the same way. The quiet time comes at different times for me. Usually first in the am and in the pm. As well as throughout the day when I feel the urge.

 

[trustinhim83]

Quietpraiyze, Thanks for the advice. This is a little off topic, but I like your doggy picture! Do you have a Boston Terrier? I have a little Boston puppy, and he is cute as can be. I find that I like him more and more the older he gets too.

 

[quietpraiyze]

Oh how sweet you have a little Boston puppy! I absolutely adore dogs but I don't have one at this time.

 

[gracealone]

I've been trying to find the exact reference to CS Lewis's struggle with prayer but haven't located it just yet. I think it may be in one of my huge volumes of his letters so that might be tough to find. But here is a quote from him that reveals this struggle titled: Prayer: Distractions - "If we lay all the cards on the table , God will help us to moderate the excesses. But the pressure of things we are trying to keep out of our mind is a hopeless distraction. As someone said, 'no noise is so emphatic as one you are trying not to listen to."
Wow can I relate to that!

Gracealone, I would quote your entire reply as it was ALL extremely helpful! However, decided to focus on just this one part abt CS Lewis. I love reading CS Lewis (again, when I can quiet my mind enough, and focus to do so), and would love to find these letters, or where this quote came from. That is really helpful! For all we know, maybe eve he was Bipolar?? Who knows...I do know that just ordinary people can struggle with this though. I am not sure that it's to the extent that people with Bipolar can struggle with it because I am not sure how "normal" feels.
I do know that a lot of people with Bipolar also are living with a lot of guilt, and carrying around heavy burdens that they really need to confess out loud, ask for forgiveness for, and KNOW that they are forgiven. Bipolar people often might do/say things while manic or depressed even that does not align with what they know is right, true, and what they really believe in their heart. So carry a lot of guilt abt. these things while not during an episode and might block themselves by avoiding prayer. Any moment for that matter where you can FEEL the weight of the burden or the guilt is sometimes avoided. I have been through this before, but not now. I have been working through a lot of these things in prayer already, and talking about it with other Christians. Going to scripture. It does take awhile to really feel as though your actually are forgiven, and believe it. You have to KNOW that God has already done that work, and just trust him, move on and have peace abt your life. I have also found that turning to prayer for others, and helping others through the things I have struggled with really help. In this, you also give yourself more time to heal.
Thank you a lot for your advice! I'm going to go on searching for that CS Lewis quote.