How to know when a ministry project is failing

[Cloture]

A friend invited me to join his home-based Bible study group about a year ago. He'd been running it from his house with two or three participants for a while. With my help, he had big dreams of speaking at conferences, selling books, etc. With me being younger and less experienced, I wanted to submit to his leadership and really be faithful.

However, the past year has been very difficult. We first started a blog, and the plan was, I post every morning then he posts a devotion at night. That lasted about a week. Eventually I was the only one posting anything, and then he stopped bothering to even comment. He becomes impulsive about some wacky new idea, announces in public that we're going to do it, then loses interest a few weeks later and it doesn't happen.

When he's in a bad mood, he's threatening to cancel meetings, complaining about the people who come, snapping at me over nothing, and asking me to teach another lesson because he hasn't had time to study. Many times after meetings he has come to me half-heartedly apologizing because he didn't lead it very well. I have kept quiet and been supportive through it all because I'm trying to honor someone in authority.

Here we are a year later. Still in his house, still only three or four people showing up, a blog that's on life support, and not a very strong sense of family when we meet. I know the word is out about our group because a lot of people visited once or twice and then disappeared. A realization hit me the other day that I honestly haven't learned anything new since I joined him.

When I tried to express my disappointment to him, he said I was just losing interest. To him, a year is not enough time to attract more than three people, I have sour grapes about people not applauding me, and I should "just do what you need to do."

Here are my questions:

1) Is it normal growth to have three people in your living room after a full year of promoting a group?

2) Do I have a right to be offended when a ministry leader changes the plan, contradicts himself, and snaps at me with no apology?

3) If I work really hard on a Bible study article, and not one person, including the leader, likes or comments about it, do I have a right to feel ignored?

4) What should I do?

 

[FutureAndAHope]

1) Is it normal growth to have three people in your living room after a full year of promoting a group?

This can be quite normal unfortunately, often churches don't grow. However it should not be the norm, we should be seeking God to change us all and make us worthy to have growth.

2) Do I have a right to be offended when a ministry leader changes the plan, contradicts himself, and snaps at me with no apology?

The way you described this leader in your post makes me think he is probably a novice Himself, with some growth needed. The fact that he says sorry for bad sermons, probably also suggests that he is a bit insecure in His own heart. You will need to be very careful what you do, for you could break His spirit. Anger often comes from pride, he may be a little, not a lot, but a little proud of His spiritual walk. If you feel it is not working out, maybe just tell him, "I don't think it is working out at this point, I might try some other options [other churches]". But for his sake don't mention I or you think he maybe imature, a little prideful, or insecure. Jesus can work out all those things in his life, it is not our job to condemn.

3) If I work really hard on a Bible study article, and not one person, including the leader, likes or comments about it, do I have a right to feel ignored?

Sure it can be tough, but we have to realise we do things unto Jesus not man. We do things to help people, to lead people to Jesus. Just be happy that you are learning to use the word of God to help others. Try not to worry what people think.

4) What should I do?

I would say you probably should leave, for if the leader hurts you, he will hurt others, and you don't want that. But again don't say that to the guy. Let God work in his heart. You just find a place where you feel protected, appreciated, and loved. And when you do, if you choose to, go to another church, don't say anything bad about where you left, for it may hurt the leader of your group.

 

[chapmic]

1) I am not sure if it is normal, but if three people are spiritually growing then I think that it is a good thing to keep going. If they didn't have this bible study they may stay stagnate in their faith.

2) Sounds like he is frustrated also and is taking it on you, let him know how you feel and let him know when he hurts your feelings

3) Rejoice in planting the seed, people may not acknowledge your work all the time, but if you are spreading the good news of the Gospel you are blessed because you are doing great work in Jesus' eyes

4) I am not sure, it's hard for me to advise because I can not physically see the situation and what is going on in the Bible study. Just keep praying for the Lord to show you the way and communicate your concerns to your leader to try to collaborate on resolutions for the problems

I hope this helps! God bless!

 

[com7fy8]

What you describe is not the scriptural way to lead and to relate with people.

You say you yourself have not learned anything, in all the time you have been with his group, I think you said. So, it is possible the others are not really getting what they need.

But you can pray and do what is good, be a good example to him.

 

[tturt]

Believe that using numbers as the gauge of success is unfortunate. What matters are lives being affected - even though they may leave, it doesn't mean the gospel didn't affect them.

Could it be that Yahweh has you there for His reasons such as learning to be forgiving and not offended by how others act or react? Surely you are learning when you prepare a Bible study article. If not in the content, perhaps the process? We do what Yahweh wants in spite of not getting recognized, etc. For example, volunteers working in soup kitchens spend hours preparing the food, serving, and then cleaning up - usually aren't thanked. So you're learning to strip away self and just follow Yahweh's leading.

 

[Cloture]

Thank you all for the comments. I have a lot to think about.

 

[John Davidson]

A friend invited me to join his home-based Bible study group about a year ago. He'd been running it from his house with two or three participants for a while. With my help, he had big dreams of speaking at conferences, selling books, etc. With me being younger and less experienced, I wanted to submit to his leadership and really be faithful.

However, the past year has been very difficult. We first started a blog, and the plan was, I post every morning then he posts a devotion at night. That lasted about a week. Eventually I was the only one posting anything, and then he stopped bothering to even comment. He becomes impulsive about some wacky new idea, announces in public that we're going to do it, then loses interest a few weeks later and it doesn't happen.

When he's in a bad mood, he's threatening to cancel meetings, complaining about the people who come, snapping at me over nothing, and asking me to teach another lesson because he hasn't had time to study. Many times after meetings he has come to me half-heartedly apologizing because he didn't lead it very well. I have kept quiet and been supportive through it all because I'm trying to honor someone in authority.

Here we are a year later. Still in his house, still only three or four people showing up, a blog that's on life support, and not a very strong sense of family when we meet. I know the word is out about our group because a lot of people visited once or twice and then disappeared. A realization hit me the other day that I honestly haven't learned anything new since I joined him.

When I tried to express my disappointment to him, he said I was just losing interest. To him, a year is not enough time to attract more than three people, I have sour grapes about people not applauding me, and I should "just do what you need to do."

Here are my questions:

1) Is it normal growth to have three people in your living room after a full year of promoting a group?

2) Do I have a right to be offended when a ministry leader changes the plan, contradicts himself, and snaps at me with no apology?

3) If I work really hard on a Bible study article, and not one person, including the leader, likes or comments about it, do I have a right to feel ignored?

4) What should I do?

This is fairly typical of a home based bible study. They are usually not very professionally run.

I would focus on finding a good church and forget about the bible study.