How to find Worth

[Daysoni]

It seems like I can go for a bit with out doing to bad in my depression. And then it hits me hard. I can't wait to go to my room and just be alone to let the tears flow. I keep my ever favorite mask on for all to see. Because to them I'm the funny girl, I take care of others when they are down. The truth is that right now I'm the one who's hurting and having a hard time hanging on. I just can't figure out my self worth or if there is any. I tend to have a harder time when it is time to send my son back to his dads. I feel that it's my fault that I let my illness take over me and that's why he's with his dad. He hates it there and there is nothing right now that I can do. I just can't get to the point where I can forgive my self and quit hating my self for becoming sick. I do pray to God about it. It just keeps coming back. I want to be well and healthy all the time. It just doesn't happen that way. And when I've reached out in the pass I end up feeling like why did I do thaat and it makes me feel even more weak and worthless. How do we get through depression and figure out who we are and what worth we are?

 

[goldenviolet]

"practice, practice, practice" ...
when i'm upset i practice doing things to keep me happy. i try to do my favorite things.... if i forget and start to have a melt-down and get destructive; i do my best to find ways to help myself. get back up and refocus... on my own or getting someone's help.

this type of practice changes your reponses in thinking and feelings. it was even talked about us in the bible: search for what is good. not just the 'good' to do. search for the joy and pleasure in what God gives you.

Philippians 4:6-9
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Meditate on These Things
8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. 9 The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.

the point of dwelling on what is good, is to help us find balance in our walks everyday. in addition to practicing managing our thoughts and moods to be balanced with truth and joy....

we need to except and learn contentment in the days or moments we feel mournful. feelings that we need to change are nessasary. we need to search out balance to this too: ...so if you can't feel joy; you need truth, comfort.

i suspect that as christians, we are all in this cycle of finding balance from God's word, prayer and the arms of Jesus. i thought saying it outloud and helping you see it would help you. be strong, and feel encouraged. we may wear a mask to some people, but here and with Jesus we have relief and friendship.

 

[Darrell2006]

I have similiar feelings most of the day, and only have relief from some over the counter medicine. All I can say is I and the others on the forum are here for you,
and that I can totaly relate to feeling bad, but trying to appear ok, the thing is most people think if I look good ,then I feel good, but usually it takes all my strengh appear ok, so I know what you mean, pm me anytime. and I truely believe we will recover.


Daryl

 

[Silver-winged Flyer]

I've going through a really bad time at the moment. My self-worth is generally bad but when I'm depressed I just really hate myself. I used to occasionally cut myself and it was quite bad the last time and the scars put me off doing it again but I think I'm going to do it again. It's the only way to feel better.

 

[Mayflower1]

Dear Daysoni,

I know exactly what you mean. I feel like that a lot and what I have to do is go to God and pray. He allows you to feel worthy because He shows you that you are as His child. He loves you. Sometimes, I have laughed and pretended to be happy when I really wasn't. What you have to do is be truthful to yourself and others around you and tell them how you feel. You don't have to go into depression or anything but if you say you are not feeling well... I just know that I would be the one trying to cheer you up. Keep your head up. As a child of God you are worthy to be loved and held and abundant happiness!!!! Remember Phillippians 4:13 and other encouraging verses and you will remember who you are! PM any time. Best Wishes. Lily00